BS: wishful thinking

Subject: wishful thinking
From: GUEST,Kjell
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 09:49 AM

Ever wish you could go back in time and change your behaviour. I have really offended someone who could have been a good friend. She will read this and think I am being manipulative. Who knows she may be right. But I do wish I could change the way she sees me. Anyone feel the same about a person/situation?

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: Goody2Shz
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 10:05 AM

Everyone has "coulda', shoulda', woulda'" history -- Have you talked directly to the person you are referring to? It takes a lot of courage to admit you're wrong, and a lot more courage and trust to accept an apology (and I do mean truly accept).

If you are sincere, then that should be evident, and you may be able to mend the rift.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 10:48 AM

what did you do to upset her? Can it be fixed?

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:00 AM

grovel. grovel a lot. it may not help - but then again it may - but whatever you did - DO NOT do it again!

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: GUEST,Kjell
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:08 AM

I suspect she has withdrawn from the mudcat because of me. I have not seen a post from her for a while.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: Goody2Shz
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:15 AM

She may be signing on as GUEST or has taken a new handle for herself.

If she withdrew from Mudcat because of you, I (like everyone else) am really getting curious about what the terrible offense was. Yeah...I know...none of our business.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: GUEST,Kjell
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:21 AM

I don't think she would thank me for repeating the history here. But all I will say that I am the one at fault and it seems I've done it again.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: Wolfgang
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:33 AM

I strongly believe that you get whats coming to you, so watch out (name) you wrote a couple of hours ago, Kjell. And now you ponder what you did wrong? Or why she doesn't post here any longer under her name? What you do that's really cyberstalking (or worse, but that I do not know and don't want to).

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: GUEST,Kjell
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:40 AM

Perhaps this is a public acknowledgement of my past faults and a sincere wish to put it right. I do beleive you get whats coming to you, for good as well as bad.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:47 AM

so take your lumps - until (and IF) she ever decides to trust you again.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: GUEST,Kjell
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:50 AM

So is everyone on mudcat perfect and none of you ever upset a fellow mudcatter. I am trying to heal a wound, to apologise. Making a hash of it, but trying. Any lumps to come I accept.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:53 AM

How about change the way you behave for the future? That's more convincing than apologising for the past.
Some friendships stay broken and that's the risk you take when you behave badly to someone. There is no automatic right for everything to be made OK again. The trick is to learn from it. Try to build something good out of a bad situation. Try not to make the same mistake again.
You can't change the past but you can change the future.
Kris

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:57 AM

Kjell, sometimes you have to stop and think what exactly it was you did. Figure out why she sees you the way she does. Sometimes, it's what you do and what you say. Other times, it's just giving someone attention they don't want. If the latter is the case, you're stuck in a loop, and this thread is going to make things worse. If someone leaves because of unwanted attention from one person, more unwanted attention is not the answer.

Just realise what you did, apologise, and stop doing it.

People often send signals, or tell you outright when you're doing something that bugs them. If you care about preventing a falling-out, you have be somewhat sensitive to those things before it's too late.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:59 AM

KJell - just read your last post - nope I'm not perfect, that's how I've come up with my theory of what to do (how to recover from those excruciating 'Oh God did I really say/do that' situations). One of the best things about Mudcat is that in most cases grudges are not held, and you do get a chance to make changes.
Best of luck with healing the wound...

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 12:27 PM

A private apology via PM is the best, and I'm sure you can find a way to do that, if you really want to.

Subject: BS. STOP IT
From: GUEST,You Don't Know Me
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:49 PM

Guest Kjell, I know who you have offended, I have also figured out who you are.I suggest you stop your stupid behaviour right now.

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 12:30 AM

SIGH! Here we go again!

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 12:38 AM

Abandon hope all ye who enter here... ;>)

I would suggest "Raglan Road".ttr

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 12:58 AM

The object of your attentions is obviously not interested.....

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: GUEST,Kjell
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 06:43 AM

I dont have to post a PM, I can go outside and speak to her, but I think she will ignore me. I think the final straw was the fact that I turned up here on the Mudcat. Am I stupid or just plain in love?
Kjell

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 07:14 AM

Kjell, just stay away from her. You have upset her and anything you do now will make it worse. If you love someone you want the best for that person, and the best that she chooses now is for you to leave her alone.

Perhaps if you can do this, friendship may be possible at some stage in the future, I don't know.

I do know that hassling her will just upset her more and drive her further away.

Noreen

Subject: RE: BS: wishful thinking
From: GUEST,Kjell
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 08:16 AM

I never mean to upset, it just turns out that way. I'll keep my distance, but I'd still like to belong to mudcat. I have really enjoyed the debates and dedicated interest in music.
Kjell
PS Sorry Patrish