Help: Friend has had a stroke

Subject: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 11:50 AM

Hi I wonder if anyone has any good web sites that would help me in the therapy of a stroke victim. Those that know me from the Jug will be very sad to hear that Allan has had a stroke which has affected his left side. He went into hospital this morning and I have been with him all day, trying to be of some help. I would like to be a practical help when he comes out.

I feel a bit shell shocked myself.

love
Patrish

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 11:55 AM

Stroke Information Sites contains lots of links

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 11:57 AM

Patrish,
You are missed around here. Visit Jon Freeman's Annexe. There is a non-denominational prayer group there. Their very existence has been a tremendous support for my family. For practical advice - I expect there will be a lot offered. Sorry, I fortunately have not had a reason to research strokes. However, your support and Allan's positive attitude will speed his recovery.
Mary

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Micca
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 12:03 PM

Patrish, best wishes for a speedy recovery, count on me..

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 12:42 PM

And my best to both you and Allan as well Patrish. They are probably still looking at what damage was caused and you'll be better informed as to how to help as time passes. We all know you will be doing whatever you can and take Sinsull's advice....Much love and good Thoughts from Ohio.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: SharonA
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 12:49 PM

The only thing I know about after-stroke therapy is that the sooner it is initiated and the more of it that is done, the better the level of recovery of faculties. you're certainly a good friend to be willing to help with that therapy!

I'm sorry to hear about Allan, Patrish. Good thoughts and wishes going out to you both from here.

Sharon

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Allan C.
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 01:13 PM

Please let Allan know that someone else who spells the name correctly *G* sends him best wishes.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 01:36 PM

echoing Sharon A's comments......about starting therapy ASAP....sooner the better...and personally, I believe.....put some MUSIC in his ear and keep it there. (Sorry to hear this Patrish.)

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Noreen
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 01:38 PM

Patrish, I would say that The Stroke Association are the people to contact. They have local groups and lots of relevant information. (I have their latest magazine here- I'll send it to you if you wish.) Local volunteers can come out and assist family and friends to learn about regular physiotherapy, and whatever else is needed.

Sorry to hear of the news, and please tell Allan that he has friends wishing him well. He has your support too, which must be a great thing for him at such a frightening time.

Much love to you both,

Noreen

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 01:42 PM

If he has left-sided motor trouble, that usually means a right-side lesion, which has very subtle language issues. He may test as having no language impairment, but watch for things like difficulty understanding the information in the tone of voice (like telling sarcasm from literal statements, or realizing that it's a question even if it isn't phrased as one) and with understanding double-entendres, or puns. Also, be aware that therapy can do the most AMAZING things, from light to no impairment, from serious to mild. He WILL get frustrated... so good luck, all around!

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 04:35 PM

After a stroke, there are many different things that can occur, from practically nothing, to practically everything wrong. It depends on the type of stroke, the amount of damage done, and the personality of the individual.

There are a couple decent books, and reading up a bit will help you to understand what the options are before you talk with the doctors.

After the initial problems are dealt with, the therapists will matter more than the doctors, so ask around to find the best. Be ready to make choices, be ready to work,and, most of all, be ready to accept and deal with changes--don't think too much about "tomorrow", at least for now, because you will have plenty of more important things to deal with, today.

Don't let yourself get tied up too much in either the "This is all going to be fine" or "This has ruined everything" modes of thought, one ends up being a form of denial(which you have to get past, if you are going to deal with things) and the other is a form of self-pity(which you have to get past, if you are going to deal with things).

Another thing, don't try to be a hero by making overly ambitious commitments--there is only so much that one can do--

Good Luck to you all.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Llanfair
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 05:42 PM

Patrish, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's stroke. I am the main carer of my stepfather, who had his stroke 3 years ago,which has affected his speech, numeracy, and memory. He has no physical disability.
PM me if I can help with anything.
Cheers, Bron.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 05:43 PM

Patrish, years ago I worked with people who had had strokes. I can tell you that their personality and attitude and that of those around them can have a profound effect on their recovery or not. I saw what some would think of as miracles...one woman had a stroke, was in a coma for 6 months, and walked out of a nursing home two years later because of her will to live and improve and her husband's support.

In contrast, another younger woman had no one, was minimally impaired and died shortly after coming to the nursing home, I believe because she didn't care to live. She was lonely and had no one to care.

So, I'd say Allan is very fortunate to have your care and support. Please know that I add mine to that of the others who have posted and who know him. Though it be for such an occasion, it is nice to see you here and you've been missed!

All the best to you and Allan!

kat

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Frug
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 05:54 PM

Patrish, My mother-in-law had a stroke 2 weeks after Christmas. It affected her speech,her arm and her leg as well as causing her her mouth to droop a little. Now just over 10 months later she has just started driving again and has regained 98% of what she lost. It required a lot of determination on her part as well as the support of her immediate family namely my sister-in-law and my wife. They succeeded in supporting her by allowing her to dictate the pace and as well as giving the nudges here and there to push things a little further. All the advice given above is valuable....keep in touch with the medical side and the re-hab side their views and involvement is important. Make sure they adhere to your friend`s wishes and don't just treat the illness....you need to focus on the patient equally if not more so.Your job may be that of advocate to ensure this happens. Good luck.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 06:30 PM

Sorry to hear about your friend Patrish, I agree with Sinsull about Jon Freemans site, as well as a prayer area there is a health and wellbeing section there, and Jons mum is a physiotherapist, she might be able to offer practical advice. www.jonbanjo.com/forum.Please pass on our best wishes foe a speedy recovery.take care.john

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 07:30 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that, Patrish. Good luck and best wishes to you both.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 07:34 PM

And you really think some online prayer group will make a difference?

OK, it won't do any harm, but it won't do any good either.

Someone has to break the news

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Morticia
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 07:50 PM

Patrish, I will be thinking of you and your friend and if there is anything at all you need,even just to yell at someone, let me know.I can't add much to all the excellent advice here but focus on the fact that these things CAN be recovered from and know that we love you.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: kendall
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 07:57 PM

We are all with you. What is prayer? it is positive energy, and, it does help.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Pip Freeman
Date: 29 Nov 01 - 08:31 PM

Patrish-I am very sorry to hear of your friend's stroke.I believe that we met at The Jug, I am Jon Freeman's mum, and a physiotherapist who used to work with stroke sufferers. Ironically I had to retire to look after my husband who had a severe stroke, so I have a fair amount of experience on both sides the picture. If I can be of help in any way please contact me via The Annexe, or by e-mail.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Big Mick
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 01:10 AM

You are one of the best Patrish, and your heart shines through. I will put both of you in my prayers. Good luck and I wish I were closer to help.

Mick

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 03:52 AM

Many thanks for your kind words and encouragement. I rang the hospital this morning to find out how Allan was feeling, as luck would have it he was right next to the nurses desk and I heard him saying he felt a little better. Visiting time is 3 - 5pm this afternoon. I will print this off for him, as I think it will help him to know he's in our thoughts. On the practical side I will contact Pip when I have spoken to the doctors today.
I have missed you all, thanks for your thoughts
love
Patrish

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Bert
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 04:37 AM

I hope that you won't take this wrongly but "bullying" will help a stroke victim, (Sorry that should be "Bullying AND love).

Tree's Mom had a stroke when Tree was very young and Mom came home from hospital and HAD to deal with three small kids. I think that the very fact that she had no alternative but to manage, helped her to recover.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Stroke Caregiver
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 11:45 AM

That was me above, the first Guest, not the mean one--just to tell you that it is a very good sign that he is talking--those prayers are helping already!

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: artbrooks
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 02:12 PM

You friend will likely have both occupational and physical therapy before he ever leaves the hospital. If you will be involved in his continuing care, try to get in on at least one PT and one OT session so you will have a better idea of what's involved and what support he will need. One of the most insidious things about a stroke is that the patient doesn't realize that he has lost specific skills or, sometimes, that these skills even exist. {Above in consultation with my wife the OT.}

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 04:16 PM

Patrish, follow Noreen's advice and contact The Stroke Association. They are a wonderful resource for practical help and advice. I had a left-side stroke about eight years ago but with good caring, which included some of that tough-love 'bullying', and encouragement to keep a positive attitude, two years later I'd recovered enough to run a marathon, raising funds for the Stroke Association. Try to keep your friends mental attitude positive. Praise his efforts but spur him on to more. He can beat this thing. I send you both my best wishes for the future. Burl.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 Nov 01 - 04:41 PM

Tell him to be assertive - positive - bloody-minded and downright determined. the New scientist published the findings of a report that had the statistics - in as far as these things can be quantified - the finding was: those people who were the most positive and extrovert before achieved the swiftest results and the furthest recovery. When doing the physio it helps to shout at the leg or any limb if only in your mind. The reasoning is that it overloads the nerves (or synapses or whatever) and makes new pathways for the signals. The sooner the result the better the muscles condition (muscles are not damaged they atrophy). AND do it soonest. You have to encourage him.
Take Mick Tems' case. He assured me he he had tried it and was convinced it was achieving progress. Seeing him walk at Miskin festival when he had been in a wheelchair but two months previous is testimony.
Enough - convert that shock into action - now - tell him to SHOUT AT IT

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Megan L
Date: 01 Dec 01 - 04:58 PM

Patrish any more news? Been down this road to often, every one a little different but the motto I learned is Hang On -To hope - to your temper (Not always easy) - to your patience (It can be frustrating for all concerned) and to your sence of humour.

Thinking of you both.

M.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 03 Dec 01 - 04:10 AM

Allan is keeping his spirits up, but he is very frustrated at the lack of interest from the hospital. He has had no therapy, no cat scan, no results from blood tests and only got his first bath when I and a another friend gave it to him. He is left to lie about in bed - they do feed him if thats what you can call it. No body seems at all interested in helping him understand what has happened to him or indeed how he can help himself. So when I visit today there are going to be some changes. I will speak to his consultant to find out what the hell is going on. Sorry to rant, but I am really angry.
Patrish

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Pip Freeman
Date: 03 Dec 01 - 04:42 AM

Patrish-That is a total disgrace, but sadly par for the course in some hospitals. Yes, demand to see the consultant and let him know what you think, consultants do try to intimidate you. Ask about physiotherapy and rehab. units. if you don't get any satisfaction, ask to speak to the hospital management, this usually stirs them into action. Standards in our so-called brilliant NHS in reality are very below par, it's not overwork to blame, just apathy and obsession with more money and publicity!!! Times have certainly changed since my working days!

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Trevor
Date: 03 Dec 01 - 05:23 AM

Hi Pat,

Good friend of mine had what we thought was a seriously- affecting stroke a few years ago. It left him unable to speak properly for a while, and with a list to one side. Nine months later he sailed the Atlantic in a 29 foot boat with the rationale that if he was leaning over anyway he would feel quite comfy on a boat that was permanently heeling.

Another colleague in a choral group I sing with lost the power of speech and some motor skills, about eighteen months ago. Although her speech is still slurred she is back to singing like an angel and she puts the major part of her recovery down to music, particularly singing, so get the box down to the hospital sharpish. (Mind you, it might mean a relapse for the more sensitive cases!)

Cheers,

Trevor.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 03 Dec 01 - 06:05 AM

Update: After a conversation with the Charge nurse this am, Allan has finally had his scan. But we have to wait for the results. I spoke to Pip this morning and have had some good advice regarding the positioning of his hands and leg.
love
Patrish

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Allan C.
Date: 03 Dec 01 - 07:05 AM

It is sad but true that hospital patients often need to have advocates who will insure or even demand that proper care be given. Although Allan undoubtedly knows what a true friend you are, Patrish, he may never fully realize what a wonderful friend he has in you for having taken on this role. I hope you will allow a different Allan to tell you how deeply he admires you for this.

Try to find someone who can show you some range-of-motion exercises you can help Allan to do. In the event that he should regain some or (I hope) all of the use of the limbs on his left side, (assuming from what you have said that these currently are paralyzed,) it is extremely important that his muscles retain as much strength and tone as is possible in the interim. The stimulation can, I believe, also help the brain to renew old signal pathways to those limbs.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: treaties1
Date: 03 Dec 01 - 07:05 PM

Patrish, Have only just found your thread and I'm so sorry to hear about Allan's stroke and hospitalisation. I hope everything gets better and, little fighter that you are, that you can keep up yours and his spirits. Lots of loving hugs from Theresa

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 08:38 AM

Thanks everyone, the results of the scan indicate that Allan has had a ischemic(?) stroke, probably from a blood clot. I will find out more today, when I speak to the doctor. He has still not received as much as an asprin, which I thought they would give him to thin his blood, but then I am not a doctor. His spirits continue to be high and we had a good laugh yesterday. I bought him some foot massage cream guaranteed to put a spring in his step! So i'll try that out today and let you know the outcome ;-)
I am also monitoring the positioning of his arms and legs and have become a bit of a nag, but Allan doesn't seem to mind too much..........yet.
Thanks again
love
Patrish

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Megan L
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 02:10 PM

Well done Patrish, so often folk don't have the courage to say "what is happening around here is wrong" try some gentle hand massage too sometimes the muscles can contract a bit causing the hand to curl up, if the foot cream has menthol or pepermint try it on Allans hands as they can create multi senscory experience.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Pip Freeman
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 03:09 PM

Glad to hear things are improving. Hand and foot massage sounds fine, but avoid the palm of the hand and sole of the foot as this stimulates flexion, and encourages the wrong muscle groups. The hand and foot will want to curl up and you need to deter this. So stimulating the extensor sides ( back of the hand and fingers and top of the foot) is good. All the best.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Pip Freeman
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 03:26 PM

Me again Patrish--Forgot to say that ischaemia is an impairment of the blood supply to part of the brain, probably by a clot. This can resolve. Send for the leaflets from The Stroke Association, they give a good explanation.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Bluegrass Granny
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 07:36 PM

Ever notice how something bad ends up being something good? I had my stroke in April 95. As a result, my doctor forbid me from continuing to breed, break and show registered Quarter Horses. He suggested I take up something less demanding.

Took up guitar -- and mandolin -- and dobro. Remembering the words helps with my recovery, too.

Just watch your friend -- you'll be amazed at how changes in lifestyle, etc. will lead to a new and in some ways a better life!

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 05 Dec 01 - 06:01 AM

Allan is having very bad cramps in his legs - any suggestions?
His progress is slow, but it is progress thank goodness.
love
Patrish

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Mr Red
Date: 02 Jan 02 - 11:00 AM

Patrish
ischemic - there is a thing called a TIA sometimes a blood vessel collapses sometimes a clot but it is only momentary but any oxygen loss kills brain cells so it depends on the time the artery was constricted. They can recur.
If he is getting cramp that means the muscles are working agains each other, a good sign of muscles at least.
I read a back issue of New Scientist today (from within last 2 months - I stockpile them) but go to their website. It is saying that muscles can improve just by thinking about them - shouting probably. Go read the article look for "muscle".

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: M.Ted
Date: 02 Jan 02 - 01:20 PM

Hi--I have been following this but not posted, til now--I am worried that, as you have indicated, Allan isn't getting the proper medical follow-up, particularly medication to prevent additional strokes--

It is important that you take the information that you have about his condition, do some research, check with the Stroke Assoc, check the stroke sites on the internet, and go to hospital and medical sites, and get information on what the standard treatments and follow-ups are, and compare--

Without getting into details, we've been through this, and it doesn't sound like what can be done is being done--Find out what the effective treatments are, and if they are not being offered, figure out what the options are--

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 03 Jan 02 - 04:07 AM

I have information from the Stroke Association and have searched on the internet and got lots of very useful information. It seems that the best way to treat a stroke is to have a CAT scan in the first three hours to determine the type of stroke, and then treat accordingly - in Allans case an asprin would have lessened the effects. He had to wait 5 days. After a bit of assertive talk with the staff on his ward, Allan got some physiotherapy. He is on asprin and an anti cholesterol drug. He is also on something for his cramp. He is also at home now. He signed himself out on the friday before christmas. The hospital could not offer any rehabilitation for him and he was on a ward where there were lots of people dying and some who had degrees of dementia - he got very little sleep and generally felt he would do better at home.
He is managing to cook for himself, shower and dress etc.
I must admit that driving him home from the hospital was scarey. I was so worried that I was helping him do something stupid, but as it turns out he has progressed very well and is much happier.
One thing that I have realised is that helping someone with things you and I take for granted can be painful. As Allan reminds me "take the coat to the arm not the arm to the coat" - on several occasions I have tried to break Allans arm in my keeness to "help" I also had a go at breaking his "wooden" leg. But I am sure if he can survive the hospital he can survive me!
We hope to get to the Jug sometime soon, I have really missed all my good friends.
love
Patrish

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Jan 02 - 10:43 AM

Ataboy
think positive
I readied the copy of New Scientist but do not have it with me, dementia? what dementia.
Anyway it was the Nov 14th issue page 17 entitled "Mental Gymnastics" but it was a paper presented at the Society of Nuero(something) so a bit new, maybe contentious but it is something your friend can do and there are no contra-indications with drugs.
tell him to keep shouting at it, and thinking movement.
My dear old friend may reported minor strokes as her memory faded. I told the hospital that the memory loss and TIA's (as I thought) and a recent tendency to fall over were clear indications of a common cause and not a lung infection (as they said). BUT a man all in red (fresh from a Festival) is never going to have credence even if he spouts technical terms.
within days and her daughters pestering they did a scan and surprise, surprise, found a brain tumour. Now pardon me but if the tumour wasn't causing a big leasion and hogging all the blood supply, well....
mercifully she passed-on within a couple of weeks.

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Jan 02 - 10:49 AM

Mr. Red, sorry about your friend, May, good for you for telling them, even if they wouldn't listen.

I have heard of classical musicians and, also, athletes who use the visualisation technique mentioned above.

Sounds a good thing he is home, now. Good for you, Patrish!

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: M.Ted
Date: 03 Jan 02 - 11:39 AM

Mr. Red, so sorry about your friend--sadly enough, whether you are dressed in red or not, the hospital staff tend to ignore the observations of friends and family--

Patrish,

I am horrified by the shabby and shoddy treatment that the hospital provided, particularly the lack of therapy and follow-up--Allan sounds like he falls into that range of patients who can actually be helped by Physical and/or Occupational Therapy--I am not sure how it works for you, but here, there are "Rehabilitation" Clinics that provide ongoing therapy and support for stroke patients--

It is good that Allan is resuming cooking, dressing, etc, but it is important that someone pay close attention to the way he handles these things--closets, drawers and even furniture often need to be re-arranged, railings for stairs, bath and showers are often needed, and he may need to learn to double check stove burners and faucets, since there is a tendency to leave these on--

The most helpful things will be simple, and small changes, don't change or re-arrange anything that doesn't need it(and don't let anyone else do it, either), because familiar routines and surroundings are very important--

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: GUEST,Patrish
Date: 03 Jan 02 - 12:00 PM

Its been a hard day - today gone to a good friends funeral - had too much to drink, finding it hard to type and have just spoken to Allen and going round to his place to cry - pathetic isn't it
love
Patrish x

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 03 Jan 02 - 03:56 PM

Patrish; Hell no it isn't pathetic! After everything you've been through helping Allan maybe a bloody good cry and throwing a bit of the creature down is just what the doctor ordered! My condolences about your friend and I do hope Allan is doing better. I have no technical advise to give but if prayer is working then you are in mine and keep your going to the all compassionate one. please keep us all iunformed of Allan's progress and do visit frequently even if only to rip up the carpet as needed. Kindest regards, Neil

Subject: RE: Help: Friend has had a stroke
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Jan 02 - 08:08 PM

Patrish
I just went to the New Scientist site
http://www.newscientist.com/inprint/previous/20011124.jsp
but the article is not e-accessable.
as katlaughing put it - it is a visualization process but the article adds scientific weight - 14% in fact.
I can scan and e-mail as jpg if you PM me here.

thanks for folks condolences. It was Sept that May died and was relatively easy for me as I had done plenty to help her over the years and there were no loose ends, no regrets, "job done" as it were.
Mind you she was there when my name was invented (no not Red) so the friendship went back longer than I do!!!