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BS: TOTAL BS....must resist....
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: GUEST,khandu Date: 07 Feb 02 - 08:46 PM Let us not lose sight here. We aren't talking about Capt. Kirk, we are speakng of William Shatner. Capt. Kirk is merely a facet (howbeit, an important facet) of the Great Shatner. The talent that abides in Shatner would overwhelm a lesser man, however, Shatner carries it well. Certainly, his performances as Kirk are phenomenal, but, what of his PriceLine ads? Sheer Genius! Only the Great One could have pulled it off! I recall a brief parody Shatner did on TV,(I do not know the source). He was advertising the William Shatner Television Network...All Shatner, all the time. He concluded it by saying,"Sure you can watch another network, but, WHY?" It was great. Unfortunately, it was all a parody and not true. When you say "Shatner", you say "Excellence"! (Now, where did I put that bottle of kerosene?) khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Feb 02 - 08:28 PM Oh, yeah, well if Kirk had been Captain of the Titanic, it sure wouldn't have run aground, lemme tell ya! He would've blasted that iceberg with photon torpedoes, hit Warp 9, and been in New York 5 minutes before leaving the dock in England. Now where did I put that phial of Arcturian muscle relaxant? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Ebbie Date: 07 Feb 02 - 06:00 PM I read what artbrooks said as "than anything Captain Kirk ever ran aground with". This gets worse and worse. |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: artbrooks Date: 07 Feb 02 - 05:23 PM Come on you guys...isn't bad mouthing Mr. Shatner a lot like a gourmet criticising clear, unflavored and not quite set gelatin? There just ain't nothin' there. Now, for sheer acting brilliance, how about Sean Connery as James Bond? His gadgets were neater than anything Captain Kirk ever ran around with, and he ALWAYS got the girl...girls... |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Feb 02 - 03:52 PM Yeah, have a shot or two. The "swooning" is probably due to the B.O. emanating from Shatner........I mean hell, a smell like that would knock a buzzard off a shitwagon! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 07 Feb 02 - 03:38 PM I was thinking a healthy dose of whisky wouldn't hurt, one way or the other; I feel as if I'm about to swoon.....! (JTK strikes again!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Feb 02 - 03:32 PM Good idea.....You'll be much better with a little rest. Glad a healthy dose of reality brought you around! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 07 Feb 02 - 03:31 PM I think I'd better go lie down for awhile.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Feb 02 - 03:25 PM DES!!! Snap Out of It!!!!!You're out of control and your mind is frazzled and befuddled by that moose-mama'ed Little Buzzard......... Look Darlin'....Get off the Cleo page and rejoin the world!! Any Shatner images which have been portrayed to you are an illusion. He has no power, sexual or otherwise, and in fact, at the absolute zenith of his sexual prowess, his genitals were described as a "Half-Eaten Cocktail Wienie Flanked by Two Raisinettes!!!!".........And this description came from a two dollar whore that he paid $500.00 for just a little hand work!!!! The most potent thing about Shatner is his smell, a mixture of aromas combining dead skunk, sulfur, and a cheap stogie that's been laying in the bottom of a urinal in a police station for 3 days. And Khandu old friend, I know you mean well and all, but I think the kerosene has done in what little was left of your brain. It was bad enough inhaling all the fumes from the burning crosses all these years, but when you started slugging it down as part of a Wood Alchohol cocktail, I knew this day would come........ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 07 Feb 02 - 03:10 PM Thank you; I try. -Queen Elizabeth I |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: gnu Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:53 PM Cleo... that was priceless. ROTFLMAO !!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:51 PM Excellent! I appears to me that you have all the necessary qualifications...unremitting adulation of Kirk/Shatner, combined with delusions of grandeur is the perfect combination. You are a very lucky woman! We will begin processing the paperwork at once... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:35 PM Frequently...in fact, I'm experiencing one right now! -Cleopatra |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:33 PM Well, all of that would be helpful. Do you ever experience delusions of grandeur? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:22 PM My parents will be so pleased; they could never have provided me that kind of an education, though heaven knows they worked their fingers to the bone! Do I have to fill out an application? Do they need to know about my hobbies, interests, & whether I play any extracurricular sports or am active in school politics?! |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:12 PM Right on, Des. I can see where you may yet earn yourself a scholarship to the WSSBA, given your appropriately worshipful attitude toward JTK. Looks like Spaw has slunk off... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 07 Feb 02 - 12:37 PM I refuse to believe that HE will ever be anything but POTENT. "Age cannot wither him, etc." |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:33 AM And they gave them the best dialogue too... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: gnu Date: 07 Feb 02 - 06:18 AM Ebbie said... Polar bears and penguins don't have much in common. North is north and south is south and never the twain shalll meet... or something like that. Yes, Ebbie, thanks for clarifying my point. Perhaps Spaw meant to impart that anyone who would do a caribou would probably do a moose as well. Or, anyone who would do caribou would do moose as well. As for Labonza, they had nice horses. |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:42 PM Des - So is Bill's. Time is indeed of the essence here. You know, most moose are quite shy creatures, nervous of strangers. Now we know why. I expect if Spaw is ever allowed into Canada (unlikely) the moose population will experience a level of paranoia and distress never seen before in this country. I say, keep him in Ohio! And this is to say nothing of the disturbing effect he would probably have on our Canadian beaver population. I shudder to think of it. The moose and the beaver are our national animals, and should be spared this sort of harassment... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:33 PM All right, but for God's sake HURRY; my biological clock is ticking! |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:28 PM I'll have to see if the WSSBA can pull some strings on your behalf, and make your fondest dreams come true, Des... The last time we were talking to Bill the line got disconnected somehow, but I trust the problem has been fixed by now. Don't give up hope. We'll see what can be done. I once attended Trent University, and was told that William Shatner had been a student there in his youth. He was famous for several things....being in the drama club, having a very big ego, and stealing other guys' girlfriends. Just think, Trent was the crucible of a titan of stage and screen, and I have actually walked the very corridors down which he strode.... Spaw, what exactly are you implying? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: GUEST,khandu Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:27 PM Is it true? Can it be? Are Desdemona, Little Hawk and I the only Mudcatters who have been enlightened to the glory of William Shatner? I stand agog with mouth agape, and mind askew!! Spaw, come on man! Find peace within yourself by finally admitting to yourself and before the Mudcat Multitude that you love the MAN! Your facade is so pathetically transparent! Come on, man. People are actually tittering behind your back. You have become like a man with a bad toupee! Please come to terms with your latent admiration for the Dear Capt. Kirk lest the titters become guffaws! It is a painful thing to be the source of guffaws! Your Dear and Well-meaning Friend, khandu. (And all the Catter's say "AMEN!") |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:10 PM Well, all these points are extremely well taken & pithy; clearly "Star Trek" is immeasurably superior to "Labonza", because it is a SPACE horse opera. And I must take exception to the spurious speculations above re:Leslie Nielsen. If....He....were going to have a Love Child(truly "never meant to be!"), it would certainly not be with the singularly UNsexy Lorne Greene, and it would DEFINITELY not be Leslie Nielsen! In fact, there is no woman in the galaxy worthy to bear his spawn except......me, ME, I tell you! |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:09 PM Why would I worry about the plural or worry insulting someone who would buttfuck a moose? This is why I rarely worry about insulting you Hawk. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Feb 02 - 08:49 PM Spaw, for shame! The plural of "Inuit" is "Inuit", not "Inuits"! You have deeply offended a major Canadian constituency. I should think that this will only make it less likely than ever that you will be permitted on the grounds of the WSSBA. Expect to be picketed by angry Inuit and pelted with snowballs if you ever dare to enter Canada after this serious faux pas... As regards, Celine Dion, however, you may well be right! Sounds very plausible to me... Leslie Nielson and Lorne Greene are indeed awesomely BAAAAD actors, and would be serious competition for our beloved William Shatner, if not for one thing... They AREN'T sexy. Leslie Nielson is about as sexy as a dead carp, and Lorne Greene doesn't even register on the graph. What an embarrassment to Canada they are! I would personally rate Bonanza, which I prefer to call "Labonza", as the WORST, most tediously awful cowboy show in history. There wasn't one thing I liked about it. Annoying music, dreadful acting, dumb screenplay, a totally insipid horse opera. I would have had them all killed in the first episode and canned the show, if it was up to me. McCoy and Shtaner could have beamed down unexpectedly right at the end, observed all them Cartwrights lying around full of bullet holes, checked them out with warbling tricoders, and then McCoy would have said... "They're dead, Jim." Perfect ending to Labonza. Heh! Heh!) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Ebbie Date: 06 Feb 02 - 07:47 PM Polar bears and penguins don't have much in common. North is north and south is south and never the twain shalll meet... or something like that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: gnu Date: 06 Feb 02 - 05:52 PM I saw in the paper yesterday that Celine is ready to come back to performing. My subscription is up for renewal, too. Dumb bastards. |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: gnu Date: 06 Feb 02 - 05:48 PM Kinda like polar bears and penguins, eh ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Feb 02 - 05:23 PM Celine is the living proof that Innuits buttfucked moose. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: gnu Date: 06 Feb 02 - 04:52 PM NO! NO ! NO! Not Lorne now, too ! What is it about strange Canucks that you people find so fascinating ? Could Leslie Neilson actually be a crossbred clone of Bill and Lorne ? Come to think of it, what would Celine be a crossbreed of ? Porcupine quill and .... |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 06 Feb 02 - 04:35 PM Did the cartwright boys take turns grooming paw's eyebrows, or was that Hop Sing's job? "Many eyebrows, Mr. Cartwright". |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Kim C Date: 06 Feb 02 - 04:07 PM Hey now, y'all lay off the Cartwrights. Adam Cartwright was my first love, even though his episodes were already in reruns by the time I was 6. And Gargoyle, I'm making this a music thread. Bonanza was full of music. And Pernell Roberts could actually sing. Can't say much for Paw, though................ |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 06 Feb 02 - 02:51 PM Tee hee. Hey, Spaw, it occurs to me---do you make a practice of going around in harvest gold lycra? Is this something everyone else has had the privilege of seeing but me? Should I be feeling slighted right about now? Hmmph. |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Feb 02 - 02:26 PM Because they can't get anyone to cast a statuette in horseshit. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 06 Feb 02 - 02:20 PM Phew. Now I can live again. I've always supected that the lack of respect shown to....him.....was a result of the very natural and wholly understandable feelings of inferiority and resulting envy that ALL red-blooded m,en must suffer when confronted with such a----shall I say it?----STALLION. I confess that, while harvest gold lycra certainly becomes Le Shatner, it is when he is BARE-CHESTED (I think he shaves it; at least in his oiled & glistening "Star Trek" days!) that his immeasurable acting talent is displayed to fullest advantage. A constipated facial expression only adds to the overall effect. God---why hasn't The Academy ever given this man his due?! |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Clinton Hammond Date: 06 Feb 02 - 02:14 PM Absolutely LH... her name is Grace Lee Whitney... A mini bio Grace Lee Whitney is a versatile actress and vocalist born in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Beginning as a "girl singer" on Detroit's WJR radio, she soon opened in clubs for the likes of Billie Holliday and Buddy Rich, and toured with the Spike Jones Band. Grace debuted on Broadway in "Top Banana", and subsequently appeared in the United Artists film. Grace is probably best known for her portrayal of 'Janice Rand' in the original "Star Trek" series and films. Grace continues to delight fans in personal appearances at conventions and events throughout North America and Europe. Her autobiography is entitled "The Longest Trek: My Tour of the Galaxy." .-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Feb 02 - 02:01 PM Don't listen to him, Desdemona...he's consumed with rank jealousy. Bill is THE MAN. We all know he is. It's a fact that cannot be disputed. If you've ever seen Spaw in a harvest gold lycra T-shirt, you know what I mean...cute, chubby, kinda loveable...but sexy? Is the Easter Bunny sexy? I don't think so. We should buy Spaw some of those little finger cots to cheer him up... Clinton, you may be right about the aforesaid "tart", but...can anyone remember her name? :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Desdemona Date: 06 Feb 02 - 01:23 PM Oh, my God---can this be TRUE?! I....I....I just don't know what to BELIEVE anymore!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Feb 02 - 01:06 PM Hawk, there is so little to say about Shatner that you are now repeating the same stuff for the 9681st time. Your prodigious yet feeble attempts to promote him have been sad to watch. I will however agree that he has nice horses. I don't think he likes horses though since he has stated explicitly it is a case of penile envy which attracts him.......I mean he has his own little "PeeWee Herman Stall" built for his personal use in his stud barn. Word has it that he has taken to eating TizWhiz in the hopes it will increase his size beyond it's current cocktail wienie proportion. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Clinton Hammond Date: 06 Feb 02 - 12:57 PM Oh please... Shatner is a fat ugly git... A few more pounds and a little less hair and he could be a folk singer! Leonard Nemoy and George Takai (sp?) were the 2 really good actors on the show, with Deforest Kelly a close 3rd... Hell, Shatner was out-acted by the tart who played Rhand 9 times out of 10... |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Feb 02 - 12:52 PM Lord, lord....WHERE HAVE I BEEN????!!!! Well, I'll tell you where I've been...every year in early February the WSSBA (William Shatner School of BAAAAAD Acting) holds a Shatner immersion course, which lasts up to 2 weeks or until loss of consciousness sets in. I've been totally immersed in Shatnerology, 24 hours a day! It's like being in another world. The facial expressions! The meaningful looks! The raised eyebrows! The dramatic pauses! We, the illuminated few, the true Shatner devotees, sit up all day and night viewing selections and entire shows from the original Star Trek TV show and the movies that followed it. "The Trouble With Tribbles" remains a big favourite with many. "Mudd's Women" is a fascinating and deeply revealing treatise on the role of women in interstellar society, worth at least 50 successive viewings in order to appreciate the subtle messages it contains. Yes, it's been quite a time. Fortunately, one of my agents (they're a bunch of young lads similar to the Baker Street Irregulars...) spotted this thread and alerted me. Duty calls! I must point out that Spaw is indulging in fantasies of the most extreme sort in suggesting that the show "Catspaw" was named after him! This is so sad. It's terrible what envy can do to people. William Shatner is simply Soooo sexy and commanding that he causes most other males to feel extremely insecure. And that's to say nothing of his acting ability. There are few men who could even comprehend such an acting technique...let alone master it! And that, my friends, is why the WSSBA was founded. We have courses that can confer upon you at least an approximation of the sheer animal intensity and the subtle style and sophistication of William Shatner. All that's required is your money...your time...and your complete dedication to the sacred cause of Shatnerology. Need I say more? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 06 Feb 02 - 12:33 AM Khandu, The actor in the pilot was Jeffrey Hunter, who was much bigger than Shatner at the time. One reason he possibly didn't make it "big" is because he died in 1969.
This quote comes from this page. (This page also say that he apparently wanted the role of the father in The Brady Bunch. He wasn't given the role, and died before the program premiered). An amusing quote from Hunter: "I was told I had arrived when, during the shooting of "The Searchers", they gave me almost as much ammunition as they gave John Wayne. I didn't ever watch Shatner's cop show, but I did like some of his earlier work. And I really liked him on Twilight Zone as the air passenger who looks out the window to see it shredded by something on the wing. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: catspaw49 Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:42 PM Khandu, when your head clears from them kerosene fumes, you'll understand that Shatner named the episode himself in honor of ME! Now take off that sillyass sheet and get a cup of coffee so you can think straight.................but he does have nice horses....... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: khandu Date: 05 Feb 02 - 10:30 PM I must reiterate that Shatner has influenced everything...perhaps I need to remind you of this tidbit: There was a Star Trek episode that was entitled "Catspaw". Need I say more? Also, I must point out that without Shatner, Star Trek would have never amounted to the super-show it became (not to mention the many off-shoots it produced!). Consider this; The pilot episode feature the Trek Crew with another Capt. A Capt. Christopher Pike. (I forget the actors name...he never made it BIG.) It was considered a hum-drum production. THEN, enter the MAN, WILLIAM SHATNER! The rest is history! With out Shatner, Star Trek would have gone the way of "Turn On" or, "My Mother, the Car" As an after thought, Shatner does have fine horses, or so I hear! ;D khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Clinton Hammond Date: 05 Feb 02 - 01:23 AM Woooooo Oh Oh Oooooh.... Bitter dregs |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: DonMeixner Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:23 AM SRS, Yup. "Who Mourns for Adonis" The small man who played the Puck like character also played Dr Miggilitto Lovelace in The Wild Wild West. Michael Dunn, who had a very fine singing voice. I believe he died very soon after the series ended. Robert Heinlein's character, Noisy Reisling was a space poet and musician in the same stripe as Woody Guthrie. I believe that Heinlein said Guthrie was model for the character. One of Heinlein's poems The Green Hills of Earth, written by Reisling was spoken on a moon mission. Don |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:58 PM But we can bring this one back to music. They did sing a few songs in Star Trek. There were a couple in that one with Charlie, (played by Robert Walker, Jr.) and didn't Spock sing in that episode set among Roman-type gods (one with the midget moving chess pieces). Uhura sang a number of times. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: Clinton Hammond Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:51 PM Hey Garg, I'm a space folkie... and obviously I'm not the only one... |
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Subject: RE: BS: TOTAL BS....must resist.... From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:45 PM Those renigade MudCatters that understand and access the 10,000 plus news-channels. Please begin to INVITE the other kindred souls (of this like minded being) to our "folk forum" so we can quickly establish some rules for "folk/blues discussion" ...and more quickly put irrelevancy to any earlier grave.
I will do my part....as time permits. Let the minion hords breach the walls.
Sincrely, |