William Topaz Magonagall. ljc

Subject: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:50 PM

An Address to the New Tay Bridge

BEAUTIFUL new railway bridge of the Silvery Tay,
With your strong brick piers and buttresses in so grand array,
And your thirteen central girders, which seem to my eye
Strong enough all windy storms to defy.
And as I gaze upon thee my heart feels gay,
Because thou are the greatest railway bridge of the present day,
And can be seen for miles away
From North, South, East or West of the Tay
On a beautiful and clear sunshiny day,
And ought to make the hearts of the "Mars" boys feel gay,
Because thine equal nowhere can be seen,
Only near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green.

Beautiful new railway bridge of the Silvery Tay,
With thy beautiful side-screens along your railway,
Which will be a great protection on a windy day,
So as the railway carriages won`t be blown away,
And ought to cheer the hearts of the passengers night and day
As they are conveyed along thy beautiful railway,
And towering above the Silvery Tay,
Spanning the beautiful river shore to shore
Upwards of two miles and more,
Which is most beautiful to be seen
Near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green,

Thy structure to my eye seems strong and grand,
And the workmanship most skilfully planned;
And I hope the designers, Messrs Barlow and Arrol, will prosper for many a day
For erecting thee across the beautiful Tay.
And I think nobody need have the least dismay
To cross o`er thee by night or by day,
Because thy strength is visible to be seen
Near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green.

Beautiful new railway bridge of the Silvery Tay,
I wish you success for many a year and a day,
And I hope thousands of people will come from faraway,
Both high and low without delay,
From the North, south, East and West,
Because as a railway bridge thou art the best;
Thou standest unequalled to be seen
Near by Dundee and bonnie Magdalen Green.

And for beauty thou art most lovely to be seen
As the train crosses o'er thee with her cloud of steam;
And you look well, painted the colour of marone,
And to find thy equal there is none,
Which, without fear of contradiction, I venture to say,
Because you are the longest railway bridge of the present day
That now crosses o'er a tidal river stream,
And the most handsome to be seen
Near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green.

The New Yorkers boast about their Brooklyn Bridge,
But in comparison to thee it seems like a midge,
Because thou spannest the Silvery Tay
A mile and more longer I venture to say;
Besides the railway carriages are pulled across by a rope,
Therefore Brooklyn Bridge cannot with thee cope;
And as you have been opened on the 20th day of June,
I hope Her Majesty Queen Victoria will visit thee very soon,
Because thou art worthy of a visit from Duke, Lord or Queen,
And strong and securely built, which is most worthy to be seen
Near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green.

William Topaz Magonagall.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:54 PM

long live the world's greatest - worst - greatest - worst - greatest - worst .....poet. Still laugh out loud thinking of the Peter Sellars movie 'The Great McGonagle' I actually own a copy!

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:57 PM

AND I own a copy of his collected works, McGonagle, not Sellers, who was remarkable, surprised his name didn't come up on the worst rhymes thread, though his work was never set to music, now that would be a challenge. Let's all sing 'An Address to the New Tay Bridge!' who'll write the tune? or what tune can we borrow that fits the meter?

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:58 PM

Whit dae ye mean"laugh" this is the epitomy o' historic verse an'a salute tae the brave Scots wha built it.Ye bloodt plebe!!! ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 05:01 PM

The mans name is "William Topax Magonagall".Whit a bunch o' ignoramuses.ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: weepiper
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 05:11 PM

ljc, you jest, surely?

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: vectis
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 05:37 PM

What a great and under-rated man Magonagal was. I would love to see some of his shorter poems. I have heard a few in the past and that's where I left them.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 05:53 PM

Ah NEVER jest!!!! What poems wid ye like ah hae them aw.ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: tooligan
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:23 PM

His full title was Sir William Topaz McGonagall, Knight of the White Elephant of Burma.

I did a series of McGonagall Nights as an antithesis to Burns nights with my band. We did it as a backwards night with a meal being served cheese and biscuits first, then the dessert, then the main course, then the Soup (Tay Whale) The men dressed as Paw Broon, the ladies as Maw Broon. The tables all set up the wrong way round, with salt in the pepper pot and pepper in the salt pot. A Sunday post on every table. We started with the vote of thanks and we did our set backwards, with a pal of mine appearing as McGonagall, reciting his poems. We also had toasts and replies to toasts from the floor and we piped in the main course with kazoos. We also asked the clubs who booked us to put on a show from the floor. The best one was where two guys came on in G Strings and put their clothes back on to "The Stripper" We finished with the introduction and welcome.

The posters were good too. "On the 15th July, Nothing is happening, it will not cost you £5 a ticket, and there is no food"

We performed it several times in central Scotland and still get asked to repeat it, but my pal isn't up for it, and I'm a lot more sane nowadays since my treatment!

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:17 PM

Tooligan,ye should be tarred an' feathered for makin a mockery o' The Great Man,in fact ye should be drove ower the border tae they ignorant savages wha dinnae hae an ounce o' appreciation for the poetic Muse that settled on his manly shooders.
That Great Hame o' the ARTS,The City o' Dundee has honoured the ILLUSTRIOUS BARD wi'money testaments tae his genius,no' the least a fabulous dinner and entertainment in his honour.
Ah hae reprinted here a recount o' the festivities provided on that memorable evenin.Nae backward dressin or kazoo tootin,nay,a veritable cornucopia o' artistic reminiscences.

The City of Discovery Campaign recently Celebrated McGonagall by honouring his name with a Supper on-board the Frigate Unicorn on June 12th 1997

The McGonagall Appreciation Society have over the past few months been assisting the City of Dundee Discovery Campaign to organise a supper for the local business community.
Society Chairman Alex Gouick was a top table guest and speaker. Chairman for the evening was comedian and society member George Duffus.

The fare took on the names of some of McGonagall's works such as "The Tay Whale", which was poached salmon for the main course.

The main guest speaker was script writer, author and comedian Barry Cryer who presented his speech to the society.

Background music for the supper was provided by The Arioso Quartet and a short play was performed by local actors.

We have proposed plaques be sited in the vicinity of his numerous rented homes and a statue to the bard to be sited in the west end, hopefully with McGonagall standing on the Magdalen Green over-looking the bandstand and his famous railway bridge of the silvery Tay.

Ah rest mah case.
ps,Ah spelled his name wrang afore an' ah'm noo daein penance by haudin a book o' his "Poetic Gems" an' no' readin them. ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 10:02 AM

ljc, quite apart from his merits as a poet, WMcG obviously wasn't much to write home about as soothsayer, going by the Tay Bridge poem!

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 12:48 PM

Ah Susanne,there are money things the Great Man didnae divulge tae the masses for as ye probably know,bein o' an intillectual bent yersel,Sotland an' Dundee in particular wis rampant wi' aw manner o' charlatans.It wis very wise o' hin tae keep these arcane mysteries tae hisel.As tae the tragic demise o' the Wonderfu' Monument tae Scottish Engineerin,his wonderfu' rendition recountin the events surroundin' great calamity pertainin tae the TAY BRIDGE DISASTER is a masterpiece o' poetic revelation.
I therefore include here for the perusal o' the gentle Mudcat readers Wonderfu' Epistle concernin' said disaster.

The Tay Bridge Disaster The Tay Bridge Disaster

Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

'Twas about seven o'clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clouds seem'd to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem'd to say-
"I'll blow down the Bridge of Tay."

When the train left Edinburgh
The passengers' hearts were light and felt no sorrow,
But Boreas blew a terrific gale,
Which made their hearts for to quail,
And many of the passengers with fear did say-
"I hope God will send us safe across the Bridge of Tay."

But when the train came near to Wormit Bay,
Boreas he did loud and angry bray,
And shook the central girders of the Bridge of Tay
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

So the train sped on with all its might,
And Bonnie Dundee soon hove in sught,
And the passengers' hearts felt light,
Thinking they would enjoy themselves on the New Year,
With their friends at home they lov'd most dear,
And wish them all a happy New Year.

So the train mov'd slowly along the Bridge of Tay,
Until it was about midway,
Then the central girders with a crash gave way,
And down went the train and passengers into the Tay!
The Storm Fiend did loudly bray,
Because ninety lives had been taken away,
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

As soon as the catastrophe came to be known
The alarm from mouth to mouth was blown,
And the cry rang out all o'er the town,
Good Heavens! the Tay Bridge is blown down,
And a passenger train from Edinburgh,
Which fill'd all the peoples hearts with sorrow,
And made them for to turn pale,
Because none of the passengers were sav'd to tell the tale
How the disaster happen'd on the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

It must have been an awful sight,
To witness in the dusky moonlight,
While the Storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,
Along the Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay,
Oh! ill-fated Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay,
I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
ljc That your central girders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: tooligan
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 12:53 PM

Thats more than he got during life ljc. The students of Dundee tormented the life out of him, and his performances were punctuated by rotten eggs and vegetables distributed to the audience as they entered the Queens Theatre in Dundee. If anyone suffered for their art, it was McGonagal. He had an unswaying belief in his talent though, and here we are still talking about him and the good folk of Dundee now celbrating his life.

I think his poems need to be heard rather than read. Lets have a McGonagal event in Paltalk!

By the way, George Duffus, a great entertainer himself and a very funny man passed away earlier this year.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 12:56 PM

thanks Little John Cameron for more o' the Great Man himself. I should have mentioned Spike Milligan who wrote the script and stars as McGonagle. IT was released in 1975, and is still available on video. Sellers does a great Queen Victoria. It's not very PC by today's standards, with Zulus attacking, etc. but hilarious, and you do get to hear the poetry some. Plus, ljc, you in particular might enjoy the full frontal nudity, the huge heaving b*****s of the dancing frolicking females.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 01:23 PM

Aye lads,ah'm weel aware o' the torments the poor man had tae suffer.Jist like that namesake o' mine "LJC".Imagin traipsin aw the wie tae see the Queen an' the bampot at the gate widnae let him in.Ah dinnae think he ever got ower it,though Stalwart Sodjer the he wis,he picked hisel up,dusted hisel aff an' stertit again.
Ah heard aboot George passin awa.He went tae school wi' a pal o' mine wha live up the road fae me.He wis awfy upset when he heard.Aw weel.they are baith thegither noo lookin doon at us an' gettin the last laugh.
Ah'm gaun tae hunt aboot oan the net tae see if there are oney audio clips o, his poetic gems.ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Snuffy
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 06:14 PM

I have a tape of The Young Tradition live in Pennsylvania, which includes a reading of 'The Tay Bridge Disaster', so there may be audio clips of it on thweb, ljc.

WassaiL! V

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Jon Bartlett
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 06:29 PM

Ode to Wiliam McGonagall, Poet and Tragedian, Dundee

Among the poets of the present day/There is no one on earth who can possibly be able for to gainsay/But that William McGonagall, poet and tragedian/Is truly the greatest poet that was ever found above or below the meridian.

'Twas in year '91, in the first month of spring/On a very cold night, and the frost in full swing/I met my friend McTavish walking along the street/And he gave me your "Poetic Gems" for to read them as a treat.

I took them home, and read them, and exclaimed,/Eureka! Eureka! McGonagall I proclaim/To have the deepest insight into human nature of any man I know,/As the reading of his "Gems" doth most emphatically show.

etc. etc.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 06:34 PM

I heard Heather & Royston Wood do a program many years ago, which included a reading of "The Tay Bridge Disaster " ...the audience was transfixed...or perhaps 'poleaxed' is a more descriptive term.

It is an understatement to say that the operative question was "Why?"

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 08:10 PM

Goddam that is beautiful lj.

I'm sorry about the naysayers, but that is frequently the price of genius isn't it. There will always those who react in that fashion to the greatest of artists.

Thank you so much for opening up my world.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 08:48 PM

Thanks for posting the Tay Bridge Disaster, ljc - though I have to admit I prefer the German poem written by Theodor Fontane! He introduced three witches - a conscious reference to Shakespeare, I'm sure.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 08:53 PM

*big grin*...lovely, Jon Bartlett...McGonagall would no doubt feel honored!

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 11:03 PM

Mah wee he'rt is fair fu' tae think that the Great Man has found a hame here the mudcat for his life's work.Noo that ah see ye are appreciaters o' Poetic Genius ah'm rewardin ye wi' a rendition o'"Bruce at Bannockburn: which ye'll aw recognise as the cumuppance o' Big Eddie.
So,sit back an' cast ye mind back tae the Glory Days when Justice Ruled the Land.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 11:07 PM

Haud oan,ah got a bittie ower excited there.Here it is.Bannockburn

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: CarolC
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 12:26 AM

This Magonagall fellow is a genius, LJC. Thanks for posting this stuff. The Address to the New Tay Bridge is almost as brilliant as this masterpiece:

ODE ON THE MAMMOTH CHEESE, WEIGHING OVER 7,000 POUNDS

[James McIntyre (1827-1906)]

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 10:28 AM

Ah Big Jim,he wis anither dandy.No' in the same class as Willie tho'.He had sme kind o' cheese fetish.Willie oan the ither haun had ower three hunner masterpieces oan jist aboot every subject o' National importance.The ane aboot the evils o the demon drink is unsurpassed in moral enlightenment.It is a clue tae his prophetic talents.Did oney body listen tae Bannockburn?It takes oan a knew dimension when vocalised,dis it no'? ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: tooligan
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 10:44 AM

Yer a fine man ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 02:43 PM

don't know that he ever put this to music, but it was obviously composed to be sung, pure McGonagle

The Rattling Boy from Dublin

I'M a rattling boy from Dublin town, I courted a girl called Biddy Brown, Her eyes they were as black as sloes, She had black hair and an aquiline nose.

Chorus -- Whack fal de da, fal de darelido, Whack fal de da, fal de darelay, Whack fal de da, fal de darelido, Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.

One night I met her with another lad, Says I, Biddy, I've caught you, by dad, I never thought you were half so bad As to be going about with another lad.

Chorus

Says I, Biddy, this will never do, For to-night you've prov'd to me untrue, So do not make a hullaballoo, For I will bid farewell to you.

Chorus

Says Barney Magee, She is my lass, And the man that says no, he is an ass, So come away, and I'll give you a glass, Och, sure you can get another lass.

Chorus

ays I, To the devil with your glass, You have taken from me my darling lass, And if you look angry, or offer to frown, With my darling shillelah I'll knock you down.

Chorus

Says Barney Magee unto me, By the hokey I love Biddy Brown, And before I'll give her up to thee, One or both of us will go down.

Chorus

So, with my darling shillelah, I gave him a whack, Which left him lying on his back, Saying, botheration to you and Biddy Brown,-- For I'm the rattling boy from Dublin town.

Chorus

So a policeman chanced to come up at the time, And he asked of me the cause of the shine, Says I, he threatened to knock me down When I challenged him for walking with my Biddy Brown.

Chorus

So the policeman took Barney Magee to jail, Which made him shout and bewail That ever he met with Biddy Brown, The greatest deceiver in Dublin town. Chorus

So I bade farewell to Biddy Brown, The greatest jilter in Dublin town, Because she proved untrue to me, And was going about with Barney Magee

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Les from Hull
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 05:39 PM

The man should've had his poetic licence endorsed! Milligan had him dead to rights.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Apr 02 - 02:03 PM

Och, Aye!

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: johnross
Date: 01 Apr 02 - 10:19 PM

The canon of recorded McGonagall readings also includes at least two by Ewan MacColl, in his fruitiest Scots accent. There are at least two of them on one of the Argo "Poetry and Song" series.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 01 Apr 02 - 11:04 PM

Ah dinnae suppose that is oan the net john? ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST,Astorsen
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 05:57 AM

Dare I say it, I once red "the Tae Whale" with a red hat and Cousteau's incredible accent. Eventhough Scottish english is not my native language, I ave been fond of MacGonagle's work since i heard it on a tape from the "young tradition".

Slainthe,

JL

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 07:48 AM

I think John Laurie (of Dads Army fame) was one if the best exponents of Magonagalls poetry - I think he did a whole TV programme at one time. If anyone can remember if he did or knows where I can lay my hands on a copy I would be very pleased.

Cheers

Dave the Gnome
As ah was walking doon the road
Ah saw a coo -
A bull by goad!

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 09:20 AM

I sing "Rattling Boy" to "Phil TheFluter's Ball", with a couple of liberties taken. Sing the first verse to the first part of the tune, then the chorus to the same tune; sing the 2nd verse to the first part, then the third verse to the second part, then the chorus top the first part; continue like this till you get to the last verse, and do that the same way as the first, with no second part.

It seems the received wisdom now is that WTM (or is it WTMcG?) weas in full possession of his faculties, not to mention a lot of money, and was perfectly aware of what he was up to (taking the piss out of the English, largely); not the poor misguided soul with delusions of adequacy that we think of today. I imagine him laughing far more at us than we ever laugh at him, and quite right--a man who left such a wonderfull legacy ought to have been able to appreciate it fully. But I won't let on if you don't ...

Steve

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Abby Sale
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 10:06 AM

Two things youse guys might advise on...I had never thought of putting McGonagall in the "Happy!" file, genius though he was, until I read Hamish's comments on him as a great folk poet. Other than March of 1830, although I've been looking 5 years, I haven't found the actual day of birth.

Other thing is, was there an actual Tay Bridge disaster? Or even mild incident? What was that "poor soothsayer" reference about?

Thanks

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 10:30 AM

Hi Abby,AYE,there certainly wis a Tay Bridge disaster and and Willie captured the horrific scene in his epic poem.He was born in Edinburgh in 1825 and grew up in Dundee, did ye want the actual "Day?".Are ye daen his horrorscope?
Mah soothsayer reference wis tae anither ane o' his poems aboot a dream he had aboot aw the drinkin establishments gaun oan fire.He wis a weel travelled man, haein been aw the wie tae the States.His visit tae see the Queen wis a great disappointment an' ah dinnae think he ever got ower bein turned awa at the gate by a flunkey wha didnae unnerstaun the importance o' his mission. ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 10:44 AM

Susan - no one apparantly could recall the exact date of his birth, one day in March they just noticed he was there, cogitating on the various meanings and significance of things, no doubt;

his 'prophecy' - in the Railway Bridge poem

"And your thirteen central girders, which seem to my eye Strong enough all windy storms to defy."

the tragedy took place on December 28, 1879 as a force 10 gale (some say) blew down the River Tay;

and as he says in his Disaster Poem:

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 11:03 AM

Ye're richt Biil,unfortunately the Great Man never gave his exact D.O.B. Tho' in his autobiography he said in was in March.

The Destroying Angel or The Poet's Dream

I dreamt a dream the other night
That an Angel appeared to me, clothed in white.
Oh! it was a beautiful sight,
Such as filled my heart with delight.

And in her hand she held a flaming brand,
Which she waved above her head most grand;
And on me she glared with love-beaming eyes,
Then she commanded me from my bed to arise.

And in a sweet voice she said, "You must follow me,
And in a short time you shall see
The destruction of all the public-houses in the city,
Which is, my friend, the God of Heaven's decree."

Then from my bed in fear I arose,
And quickly donned on my clothes;
And when that was done she said, " Follow me
Direct to the High Street, fearlessly."

So with the beautiful Angel away I did go,
And when we arrived at the High Street, Oh! what a show,
I suppose there were about five thousand men there,
All vowing vengeance against the publicans, I do declare.

Then the Angel cried with a solemn voice aloud
To that vast end Godly assembled crowd,
"Gentlemen belonging the fair City of Dundee,
Remember I have been sent here by God to warn ye.

"That by God's decree ye must take up arms and follow me
And wreck all the public-houses in this fair City,
Because God cannot countenance such dens of iniquity.
Therefore, friends of God, come, follow me.

"Because God has said there's no use preaching against strong drink,
Therefore, by taking up arms against it, God does think,
That is the only and the effectual cure
To banish it from the land, He is quite sure.

"Besides, it has been denounced in Dundee for fifty years
By the friends of Temperance, while oft they have shed tears.
Therefore, God thinks there's no use denouncing it any longer,
Because the more that's said against it seemingly it grows stronger."

And while the Angel was thus addressing the people,
The Devil seemed to be standing on the Townhouse Steeple,
Foaming at the mouth with rage, and seemingly much And kicking the Steeple because the public-houses wore going to be destroyed.

Then the Angel cried, " Satan, avaunt! begone!"
Then he vanished in the flame, to the amazement of everyone;
And waving aloft the flaming brand,
That she carried in her right hand

She cried, "Now, friends of the Temperance cause, follow me:
For remember if's God's high decree
To destroy all the public-houses in this fair City;
Therefore, friends of God, let's commence this war immediately."

Then from the High Street we all did retire,
As the Angel, sent by God, did desire;
And along the Perth Road we all did go,
While the Angel set fire to the public-houses along that row.

And when the Perth Road public-houses were fired, she cried, " Follow me,
And next I'll fire the Hawkhill public-houses instantly."
Then away we went with the Angel, without dread or woe,
And she fired the IEawkhill public-houses as onward we did go.

Then she cried, "Let's on to the Scouringburn, in God's name."
And away to the Scouringburn we went, with our hearts aflame,
As the destroying Angel did command.
And when there she fired the public-houses, which looked very grand.

And when the public-houses there were blazing like a kiln,
She cried, " Now, my friends, we'll march to the Bonnet Hill,
And we'll fire the dens of iniquity without dismay,
Therefore let's march on, my friends, without delay."

And when we arrived at the Bonnet Hill,
The Angel fired the public-houses, as she did well.
Then she cried, "We'll leave them now to their fate,
And march on to the Murraygate."

Then we marched on to the Murraygate,
And the Angel fired the public-houses there, a most deserving fate.
Then to the High Street we marched and fired them there,
Which was a most beautiful blaze, I do declare.

And on the High Street, old men and women were gathered there,
And as the flames ascended upwards, in amazement they did stare
When they saw the public-houses in a blaze,
But they clapped their hands with joy and to God gave praise.

Then the Angel cried, "Thank God, Christ's Kingdom's near at hand,
And there will soon be peace and plenty throughout the land, And the
ravages of the demon Drink no more will be seen."
But, alas, I started up in bed, and behold it was a dream!

As ye can see The Great Man wis a prolific chronicler o' the events o' the time.No' so much in this poem tho' as this an example o' levity oan his pairt tae show the diversity o' his talent.ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 06:23 PM

Steve Parkes wrote: " . . . delusions of adequacy . . . ."

I need to store that one away for future use. Nice.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Ian Darby
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 07:43 PM

Mc Grath

John Laurie did a whole album of Magonagall stuff and I have a feeling I still have it on vinyl.

"The stronger we our bridges do build, the less chance we have of being killed."

Spike Milligan also did some excellent parodies, one of which I've posted before.

"A hen it is a noble beast, a cow is much forlorner. It stands out in the farmyard, 'wi a leg at every corner."

There was another about a man being hit by the 7.15 train but I'm to refreshed to remember it.

Whatever the man's faults, we're still talking about him today, and I can't fault his unshakable belief in himself and his poetry.

If I find the album I'll let you know.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Abby Sale
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 07:55 PM

Ah. Thanks for the responses. I have a clear March 1830 for birth and, yes, born in Edinburgh but raised in Dundee. (Although sometimes it's born in Dundee and raised in E-town.) It's pretty clear he died 29 Sept 1902.

No, not a horror scopy, for the Happy! file. (See Dick Gaughan's pages.) I need an exact day to slot him in to which. If you ever come across it, please let me know.

Yes, Dec 28th would have been the last Sunday of that year. I'm glad to learn there actually was a disaster (well, not glad, but you know...) I was getting very confused.

Here's a bit of prose from "Reminiscences:"

- MY DEARLY BELOVED READERS, -- I will begin with giving an account of my experiences amongst the publicans. Well, I must say that the first man who threw peas at me was a publican, while I was giving an entertainment to a few of my admirers in a public-house in a certain little village not far from Dundee but, my dear friends, I wish it to be understood that the publican who threw the peas at me was not the landlord of the public-house, he was one of the party who came to hear me give my entertainment. Well, my dear readers, it was while I was singing my own song, "The Rattling Boy from Dublin Town", that he threw the peas at me. You must understand that the Rattling Boy was courting a lass called Biddy Brown, and the Rattling Boy chanced to meet his Biddy one night in company with another lad called Barney Magee, which, of course, he did not like to see, and he told Biddy he considered it too bad for her to be going about with another lad, and he would bid her good-bye for being untrue to him. Then Barney Magee told the Rattling Boy that Biddy Brown was his lass, and that he could easily find another--and come and have a glass, and be friends. But the Rattling Boy told Barney Magee to give his glass of strong drink to the devil! meaning, I suppose, it was only fit for devils to make use of, not for God's creatures. Because, my friends, too often has strong drink been the cause of seducing many a beautiful young woman away from her true lover, and from her parents also, by a false seducer which, no doubt, the Rattling Boy considered Barney Magee to be. 'Therefore, my dear friends, the reason, I think, for the publican throwing the peas at me is because I say, to the devil with your glass, in my song, "The Rattling Boy from Dublin," and he, no doubt, considered it had a teetotal tendency about it, and, for that reason, he had felt angry, and had thrown the peas at me.

I wonder how McGonagall would have defined "terse?"

Subject: RE: William Topaz McGonagall
From: Abby Sale
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 08:36 PM



Steve: that thing that he was perfectly aware of what he was up to (taking the piss out of the English, largely) ...is that scholarly thinking? Certainly, it's been controversial for 100 years - mostly based on the notion that nobody could have been that bad and been serious about it. But for analogy, just think of all those politicians who think they're good for their countries!

Most of what I've read (including Henderson) was that he was dead serious about himself and his poetry. No spoofs at all. As to wealth, that surprises me. My impression was that he spent most of his life, and the end of it, impoverished. No?

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 08:48 PM

The fact that the puir man wis drapped oan his heid when he wis a wean wid accoont for his "peculiar" ways.The trip fae Dundee tae Balmoral "oan fit,mind ye" testifies tae his resolve tae pay his respects tae the Queen.Him an' Spike were o' the same cloth. ljc

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: CarolC
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 09:05 PM

Peculiar? Whatever can you possibly be talking about, ljc? I was dropped on my head dozens of times when I was a "wean", and just look at me. Peculiar indeed. He seems perfectly normal to me!

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 09:15 PM

Aye Carol,ye can aye be spotted in a crowd.
However,the night moves oan an' aw' guid things must come tae an end.A wee bit o' eloquent enlightenment tae end the evening.Guid nicht Sir William,"AYE REMEMBERED"
The curtain falls

Subject: RE: William Topaz McGonagall
From: Abby Sale
Date: 03 Apr 02 - 03:18 PM

For what it's worth, I take back one thing -- I had another look as to whether he was widely considered serious or not. In fact, Hamish Henderson likes to suggest the folk-poet may truly have been a satirist all along... perhaps just playing it "in character." He cites a popular tale that McGonagall was once seen to be leaving a performance in Edinburgh with a "satiric smile". (Alias McAlias p305 & elsewhere). But it does seem he was buried in a pauper's grave. Some time after his death, I believe.

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 03 Apr 02 - 09:55 PM

Ah jist listened tae an mp3 o' Spike's McGonagall.Pure MADNESS !!!! LJC

Subject: RE: William Topaz Magonagall. ljc
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 04 Apr 02 - 02:37 AM

Well, I'm not going to argue about McG's self-awareness or otherwise; it's wrong of me to shatter such wonderful illusions! I'm indebted to the Great Man for searng upon my brain tha nema of the man who invented--and I kid you not--lithography: Alois Senerfelder.

Guest: I can't claim any credit for "delusions of adequacy", I pinched it myself. "I wish I'd said that." "You will, Oscar, you will!"

Steve