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BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: catspaw49 Date: 18 May 02 - 11:02 PM Sounds like the Colorful, Vitamin-Enriched, Styrofoam Bits that is often sold as breakfast cereal. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Blues=Life Date: 19 May 02 - 12:07 AM Genie, Re: " There was a news report on TV recently about how microwaving can raise the liquid's temperature well beyond 212 degrees, such that sticking a spoon into the cup can cause the liquid to explode, burning someone severely." If the liquid is water based (i.e. coffee or tea) it is impossible to heat an open cup or container to well over 212 degrees. At 212 (100 degrees C) the water boils, by which is meant it passes from a liquid to a gas. The only way to super heat water (over 212) is under pressure, i.e. in a closed container, such as a pressure cooker or a boiler. The liquid boils off steam until the pressure of the steam overides the ability of the water to turn to gas. At that point, the heat is retained by the water, until the pressure becomes so high that the boiler blows! Oops. Now, as to why McD's coffee is so damn hot. THEY claim it's because using extremely hot water extracts more flavor from the ground coffee. Although this is true, I have my doubts that this is why they do it. A friend of mine who used to manage a McD's told me it was explained to him that the coffee was 180+ so that when you walked out of the restaurant in the dead of winter, put the cup into the snow on the roof of your car to unlock the door, and then finally got it into your car to drink, it would still be hot. Who knows? But for that matter, who DOESN"T know the stuff is too damn hot? Finally (sorry about the length of this post) I like the idea of the "reasonable person" criteria in the UK. Unfortunately, the US standard is that if a misuse of the product could be reasonably forseen, then you have to engineer against the MISUSE by an idiot. Case in point, if a set of book shelves can be forseen to be pulled into the center of the room and used as a ladder to change a lightbulb, thus causing injury when the idiot comes crashing down, then you have to include something in the design to keep the idiot from misusing it. Thus the engineering concept "idiotproofing", or in the new politically correct version, "consumer proofing". Gotta love it. Blues |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Haruo Date: 19 May 02 - 12:32 AM Blues, while I agree that under normal atmospheric pressure at sea level water and other water-based liquids (like coffee, tea, salty water...) boil right around 212° (and would likely continue to do so even if I withheld my consent), still I did see the news report to which Genie refers (or another like report) and she is not misrepresenting what the report reported. The microwaved water did indeed exhibit explosive tendencies that were explained in terms of superheating. Where the inexactitude or imprecision lies I hazard not to divine. Liland |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Genie Date: 19 May 02 - 04:09 AM Thanks for the backup, Liland. Blues, I certainly don't claim to be an expert, but the report on "superheated liquids" said a cup of liquid (presumably 8 oz.) heated in a microwave over 2 minutes COULD be heated beyond boiling but something about the surface interface prevented the release of heat via bubbling until the surface was disturbed, e.g., by sticking a spoon into the cup, which would cause the liquid to explode (erupt). They demonstrated this. I've also had that kind of experience, though, fortunately, I didn't get hit with much of the liquid. (If a liquid were heated only to 212°, why would it explode when you stuck a spoon into it?) Anyway, the main point here is that the court acknowledged that MacDonalds had been serving their coffee substantially hotter than other restaurants do. (So a reasonable person might well NOT expect the coffee to be so hot that it would cause SEVERE burns if it came into contact with your skin.) Genie BTW, Sorry about that "EAT HERE/GET GAS" post. That should have been posted to a different thread. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: The Walrus Date: 19 May 02 - 04:46 AM Re: "Superheated water" from a microwave.
First point 100 deg C (212 deg F) is the bp for PURE water at 1 atmosphere pressure (add contaminants & you change the charicteristics). I'm working from a somewhat faulty memory, so I'm ready (and waiting) to be corrected by those who know better. Regards Walrus
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Penny S. Date: 19 May 02 - 05:20 AM Could the superheating be related to the supercooling phenomenon, where water is below freezing, but remains liquid, because there are no particles to serve as foci for ice to grow. Stirring would provide the opportunity for the ice to form, and the water can freeze completely and suddenly. Perhaps steam also requires centres to form, in the same way as raindrops require seeding. Penny |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Micca Date: 19 May 02 - 06:11 AM Walrus's nucleation explaination is the correct one, but also the dissolved coffee wil elevate the boiling point( cf Raoults law)where the vapour pressure is raised depending on the amount of dissolved substance. Penny, that is also correct, difficult to produce but theoretically correct, The freezing point is also depressed, depending on the amount of dissolved solid, hence "salting" iced roads to depress the freezing point of the water so it liquifys and does not re-freeze( in theory!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Penny S. Date: 19 May 02 - 07:29 AM Looking at the times of posts, I can't believe I didn't see Walrus's. Notice how I skirted round the subject without using the word nucleation, which I was trying frantically to recall. The supercooling I have seen occasionally on first using a new ice cube tray, in one or two places, but never been able to reproduce. Penny |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Blues=Life Date: 19 May 02 - 08:05 AM Is this a smart bunch of people or what? Thanks all for the physics lesson, and for showing me once again why I majored in Biology. LOL Now when you get around to combustion of wood in fireplaces, let me know. That's something I do happen to know about. Microwaves? Nah. Blues |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Genie Date: 19 May 02 - 02:09 PM Yeah, I thank y'all for the physics refresher (and extension) course, too! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Haruo Date: 19 May 02 - 02:30 PM Ditto. The Walrus did a better job than the newscasters of explaining it, perhaps because he was not afraid to say "nucleation" (which in TV journalism might suggest a danger of Atomic Warfare in one's microwave oven). Liland |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: fat B****rd Date: 19 May 02 - 03:04 PM Duh, I used to work for a company whose weekly pay packets told you to check the amount inside before you opened the packet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Melani Date: 20 May 02 - 02:43 PM My personal favorite is my stove lighter which says "Do not use near fire or flame." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Mark Cohen Date: 21 May 02 - 05:25 AM I've always been fond of the Micro$oft mantra: DO NOT MAKE ILLEGAL COPIES OF THIS DISK Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Genie Date: 21 May 02 - 02:14 PM Well, it's not exactly a "warning" or "announcement, but I people ofetn say [and sometimes print], in the context of religion or codes of conduct, an admonition to "refrain from lying, cheating, stealing, ... and immorality." Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Burke Date: 21 May 02 - 05:53 PM I found another page with more details about the McDonald's Coffee. Go here. It mentions that the car was not moving and that the sweatpants the woman was wearing held the coffee against her skin. I haven't found, but thought I'd read elsewhere, that in addition to the very high temperature; the lids fit very tightly & it is difficult to remove them to add the cream & sugar. I've never understood why people can think it strange to put coffee between ones legs. If you're in a stationary car a natural place to try to hold the cup still is right there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Genie Date: 18 Jun 02 - 12:07 AM Tonight I "took a shortcut" on my way home from a gig. In other words, I got lost. At one point, after driving down a long back road, I found myself facing a parking lot on my right and a road to my left, with a sign saying: DEAD END Immediately under those words -- on a smaller sign posted on top of the larger sign-- were the words: NO TURNAROUND I'm still musing as to what we lost drivers were being instructed to do-- and I have this vision in my head of a huge array of abandoned cars in front of those two signs! Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: SharonA Date: 18 Jun 02 - 01:14 PM Saw a sign on Sunday, attached to a gate in a chain-link fence surrounding a military facility. The gate was locked, and there were a couple of logs clearly visible that were pushed up against the gate on the inside so that the gate could not be opened without moving them. The sign said, in huge letters, "GATE CLOSED". Yup. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST,Nerd Date: 18 Jun 02 - 03:37 PM There's a pair of signs on Route 70 in NJ which are amusing. The first is a NJ Transit billboard that says: "Oops! You just missed the Train! Make a U turn for the Atlantic City Line." About 100 feet down the road is a sign that says (you guessed it) No U Turns. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Coyote Breath Date: 18 Jun 02 - 05:58 PM Here in New Haven, Missouri, our dead-end signs say: "Street not Through" I first saw that and wondered if I should wait... I once saw this notice on a fence around some lovely woods: "Tresspassers will be violated". And my Canadian produced Crest toothpaste (regular paste) sez: pate ordinaire. Bringing an image to mind that I'd best not dwell on:) CB |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Coyote Breath Date: 18 Jun 02 - 06:00 PM Oh yeah. When a kid in Milwaukee we never got to go and see my grandma 'cause the streetcar had a sign that said: "Information given gladly but no visiting please" CB |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Genie Date: 18 Jun 02 - 11:39 PM Actually, I goofed a little in my post about the two signs. Together, they read: ROAD CLOSED* -- NO TURNAROUND not "Dead End"* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Genie Date: 05 Jul 02 - 05:22 PM This morning on a local TV chat show it was announced that "Hair for Kathy Marshall and Helen Raftis [is] provided by G-Best of Portland." What would the poor girls do if they lost their sponsor? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST Date: 05 Jul 02 - 08:47 PM A local steakhouse with a western theme has restrooms labeled HEIFERS and STEERS. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 05 Jul 02 - 09:34 PM Steers, eh? No bulls allowed? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Bill D Date: 05 Jul 02 - 10:49 PM well, I'm almost afraid to do this...but here is the mother-lode of silly warnings etc....which is a subset of this page on things people said in various stupid ways ......which is a subset of The RinkWorks where silliness in awesome amounts abounds! "All Hope Abandon....etc..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST,Sonja Date: 06 Jul 02 - 01:27 AM LMFAO, Bill! ~SWO! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Bill D Date: 06 Jul 02 - 10:17 PM you didn't say whether you learned **TRUTH** there, Sonja |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Genie Date: 08 Jul 02 - 02:55 AM I saw one in Seattle recently that puzzled me. It said SIDEWALK CLOSED Now, I understand the first part and the last part, but the middle doesn't fit. Since another option would have been to go onto the sidewalk that was perpendicular to the one that was closed, and since returning to the crosswalk would involve walking in the street into who-knows-what traffic, I wondered why someone felt it necessary to tell us where to go, as it were. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST Date: 08 Nov 02 - 12:53 AM john from hull has announced ther are too many BS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: weerover Date: 08 Nov 02 - 01:39 AM Local supermarket (Asda, now part of Walmart) has a chilled cabinet section with a sign indicating "Healthy pork". Never have found where they keep the unhealthy stuff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: mooman Date: 08 Nov 02 - 11:00 AM These signs result from linguistic difficulties and are humourous rather than ridiculous! I have seen the list quite a few times in different fora (e.g. translators' sites) but apparently they are or were real signs: In a Tokyo hotel Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such things please do not read notis. In a Bucharest hotel lobby The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Belgrade hotel elevator To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a Yugoslavian hotel The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In a Japanese hotel You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Austrian ski resort Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. On menu in a Polish restaurant Salad a firm?s own make; Limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people?s fashion. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop Ladies may have a fit upstairs. In a Rhodes tailor shop Order your summers suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation. A sign posted in Germany?s Black Forest It is strictly forbidden on our camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. In a Zurich hotel Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for that purpose. In a Rome laundry Ladies, leave your clothe here and spend the afternoon having a good time. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand Would you like to ride on your own ass? Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan Stop - drive sideways. In a Buddhist temple in Bangkok It is forbidden to enter a woman even foreigner dressed as man. In a Tokyo bar Special cocktail for ladies with nuts. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office We take your luggage and send them in all directions. In a Roman doctor?s office Specialist in women and other diseases. mooman |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: fenman Date: 08 Nov 02 - 12:15 PM Alas...now gone for ever, since it had to be replaced so many times, on a straight road across rural Lincolnshire UK, a few miles northwest of Boston........ NEW YORK PLEASE DRIVE CAREFULLY |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: EBarnacle1 Date: 08 Nov 02 - 12:15 PM One of my favorites has always been a sign posted next to the local ice skating pond that, even in Summer says "no ice skating today." This sign stays up all year long. I believe we are making a big mistake in allowing all these warnings and protections to be posted. The advantage of the "reasonable person" criterion is that if a person is too much of a fool to take reasonable care, they may injure themselves and possibly not breed. Ultimately, the whole human race would benefit. Mickey D's should get a medal, not a lawsuit, for encouraging us to do stupid things and improve the race. Coffee be damned, how can you expect anyone to make good tea with water at only 180F? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Schantieman Date: 08 Nov 02 - 01:01 PM IMHO, anything that takes McD's down a peg or five is good news for the world. They typify, for me, the attitude of many people - and companies - today that they can take what they like from the our limited resources without a thought for the future. End of lecture. That's better! On the other hand - some people! Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Troll Date: 08 Nov 02 - 01:43 PM Re: The braile on the automatic teller machine, Many legally blind persons use a taxi to take them to the bank so they can take care of banking business. In the light of this information, the braile doesn't seem so strange. troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: KateG Date: 08 Nov 02 - 01:58 PM Scalding coffee is a deliberate act on the part of McD's -- they don't want you to realize that the grounds have been in use for over a week, and all you're getting is superheated brown water. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST,Bill Date: 08 Nov 02 - 04:07 PM I went to a funeral several weeks ago at the local crematorium I couldn't help laughing when I saw a notice by the entrance EXTINGUISH CIGARETTES HERE THIS IS A NO SMOKING BUILDING They obviously hadn't looked at the chimney Bill(the sound) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Mr Red Date: 08 Nov 02 - 06:51 PM Mc Donalds use coffee beans? WASSGOINONTHEN? are they moving up market? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: RangerSteve Date: 08 Nov 02 - 07:10 PM Another reason for braille on drive-up ATM's is so the manufacturer doesn't have to make two separate keyboards, one for drive-up and another for walk-up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST,Chicken Charlie Date: 08 Nov 02 - 07:59 PM Whether "Just Say No to Drugs" in itself is ridiculous or not can be argued, I suppose, but whether you think it helps or doesn't, I have always felt that the perforated rubber mat that keeps people from flushing ciggie butts et al down public urinals is an EXTREMELY (wrong thread, sorry) weird place to put that admonition. Did some psychiatrist determine that people are more open to suggestion when urinating, or did some marketing guru in the pay of a urinal-mat maker decide that he could up sales by killing two birds with one piece of rubber? Bizarre. CC |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: SINSULL Date: 08 Nov 02 - 11:21 PM I have carefully avoided drinking the ink in my printer refills thanks to the label warning. BUT finally understand why a teaspoon of instant coffee turns microwave boiled water into a volcano. Damn! I could have sued. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Genie Date: 09 Nov 02 - 02:45 AM LMAO, Mooman! Thanks for posting those. Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Sibelius Date: 09 Nov 02 - 06:05 AM There's a notice frequently seen on petrol pumps (in the UK at least -guess they'd be gas pumps 'over there') which says: "SWITCH OFF ALL MOBILE PHONES" Well, don't own one myself, but hang on for a few years while I run round switching off everyone else's... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Mr Happy Date: 06 Aug 03 - 07:23 AM A man who had in March ordered a Credit Card was surprised to received a bill for his unused card stating that he owed £0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following month the credit card company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn't send them £0.00 by return of post. He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they'd take care of it. The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card figuring that if there were purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been cancelled. He called the credit card company who apologised for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a bill for £0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to the credit card company only the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out. The next month he got a bill for £0.00 stating that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt. Finally giving in, he thought he would play the company at their own game and mailed them a cheque for £0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the credit card company nothing at all. A week later, the man's bank called him asking him what he was doing writing a cheque for £0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank replied that the £0.00 cheque had caused their cheque processing software to fail. The bank could not now process ANY cheques from ANY of their customers that day because the cheque for £0.00 was causing the computer to crash. The following month the man received a letter from the credit card company claiming that his cheque had bounced and that he now owed them £0.00 and unless he sent a cheque by return of post they would be taking steps to recover the debt. True! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Rapparee Date: 06 Aug 03 - 08:18 AM There was a wood router that contained a warning that it was not to be used for medical or dental procedures. And in a public toilet a warning appeared against drinking the water in the toilet bowls. Many exist. It makes you wonder, though. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST,cittern Date: 07 Aug 03 - 02:12 PM I seem to remember a sign on a rural post office saying: "Please do not lean bicycles, cars or camels against this window" Imagine that .... a rural post office. Best regards John Robinson http://www.JulieEllison.co.uk |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Ghirotondo Date: 07 Aug 03 - 07:04 PM There was a signpost on a T intersection near Siena, Italy, with an arrow pointing to the left saying "ALL DIRECTIONS" and the other, pointing to the right, saying "OTHER DIRECTIONS". You'll never know... you could find yourself in the twilight zone! Ghiro |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: GUEST,dept. of CYWAP Date: 07 Aug 03 - 07:40 PM This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp.Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user- serviceable parts inside.Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all.Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog.Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type.Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors.No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume.Your mileage may vary.Batteries not included. Proceed with caution. Not a floatation device. No deposit -- no return. If swallowed, induce vomiting. Do not exit - alarm will sound. Use only in well ventilated area. May contain some violent content. Comprised of 100% natural ingredients. Void where prohibited. (urinate in public) The mind is subject to change without notice. No lifeguard on duty -- surf at your own risk. Contents may exhibit some settling during shipment. Some assembly required. (Visual C for everything else) Contents under pressure (Then again, aren't we all!) We are computer professionals, do not try this at home. Ingredients within Federal guidelines pertaining to bug parts and fecal matter. Inappropriate use of firearms may result in injury or death. (e.g., armed robbery) Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while using this product. Concealed damage should be reported to the carrier immediately. Machine wash separately in cold water with mild detergent. If you have mailed your payment, disregard this notice. For entertainment purposes only -- please, no wagering. A late fee will be assessed if not paid by due date. Unplug before cleaning, inserting or removing parts. Seek the advice of a medical professional before use. Close cover before striking! (We enjoy violence) Warranty of merchantability or fitness is limited. May not support the weight of a full grown adult. To avoid injury point muzzle in a safe direction. Assemble in strict accordance with instructions. Caution - risk of electric shock - do not open. You must wear protective headgear and eye wear. Not a significant source of dietary fiber. Discontinue use if advised by a physician. Keep hands and feet from beneath device. Rated PG - parental guidance suggested. Minors must be accompanied by a parent. Grandparents must be accompanied by a minor. Discontinue use if irritation results. Allow unit to cool before relamping. No user serviceable parts inside. Do not leave children unattended. Warning -- lifeguard not on duty. Intentional misuse can be fatal. No shirt, no shoes - no problem! Look both ways before crossing. Motorized vehicles prohibited. Stand clear -- moving parts. Caffeine free - low sodium. No smoking within 100 feet. Yield to oncoming traffic. May complicate pregnancy. (But then again, so does sex!) Shake well before using. No sanding required. Watch your step. No pets allowed. Do not discard. Post no bills. No loitering. Use no hooks. Dry clean only. As is, where is. This is not an exit. Buckle up for safety. For external use only. No salesman will call! Enter at your own risk. $700 fine for littering. Handicapped parking only. Checkout time is 12:00 noon. Do not invert while driving. Read warning on back of unit. Made with pride in the U.S.A. Do not puncture or incinerate. Substitutions are not allowed. Do not use near fire or flame. No entry -- severe tire damage. Avoid exposure to laser radiation. Please use before expiration date. Free admission to children under 12. See back of receipt for terms of sale. Avoid breathing dust by pre-moistening. Reformatted to fit your viewing screen. Do not exit aircraft while airborne. (Duh!) You must be a licensed driver to participate. This vehicle stops at all railroad crossings. Violators will be prosecuted. (and visa-versa) May be used only by law enforcement personnel. Product complies with FCC Part 15 regulations. Attention: A garder hors de portee des enfants. Some settling may have occurred during shipment. Keep off the grass. (it is a controlled substance) Not liable for incidental or consequential damages. Senior citizens must show picture I.D. to be served. May result in premature delivery and low birth weight. Failure to complete form may result in severe penalties. Quitting smoking greatly reduces hazardous health risks. You may have other rights which vary from state to state. Remove foil before use. (presumably from a condom package) 10% real fruit juice (and presumably 90% industrial solvents) Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Filing a statement containing false information is considered fraud. Normal operation of safety device may result in injury or death. Report all UFO and black helicopter sightings to H. Ross Perot. This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Had it been an actual alert you would have heard bloodcurdling screams! Always remember this valuable maxim: No warning label -- or any piece of legislation, for that matter -- can elevate the I.Q. of the label reader, nor can it minimize any inherent risks! This supersedes all previous notices. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements From: Amos Date: 07 Aug 03 - 08:18 PM Thank god something finally superseded them!! A |
