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punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
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Subject: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,mick/punch the horse Date: 03 Jul 02 - 06:14 AM What a weekend eh!! us playing on our own turf at the Hull Durty Nellies, Nellies at bev.singaround sunday and Roger, Maggies and Les's new venture at the sun in bev. on sun. Hope every one turns up,we start at nine this Friday night. Mick (not a member of Oakleys purple helmet golden rain team) |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Sir Roger de Beverley Date: 03 Jul 02 - 11:34 AM Yes, go and see Mick and the lads - a guaranteed good time for all. R |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Linda Kelly Date: 03 Jul 02 - 01:00 PM Sorry I won't be there on Friday but see ya Sunday -Mick I heard that you were Oakley's stunt double and were ready at the drop of a puce helmet to perch on his handlebars dispaying your many acrobatic talents whilst cycling over the Humber Bridge -is this not the case? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 03 Jul 02 - 05:28 PM I have just seen Mr Punch the Horse (Mick) a couple of hours ago, he has got a busy weekend, he is also doing a gig in Lincolnshire, i cant remember wich pub though.If anybody doesnt know were Durty Nellies is, it is on High Street in Hull, very near to the Argos Superstore. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Oaklet Date: 03 Jul 02 - 05:56 PM Skipjack is proving unusually wistful and difficult to pin down after his soujourn in the States. As a precaution, I thought it appropriate to launch the Moist Helmets Canoe Display Team at a fundraiser in South Ferriby tonight. (Sorry, South Ferriby UK - I know that this is an international forum) It went OK, perhaps not a spectacle, I accept that; but being a solitary venture, however lucrative, it is hard work in a ploughed field. No-one saw the urinary finale as it was below the gunwhale and now my arms ache like hell. Les, Maggie and Rog; have a good 'un. Only the cycling and Wooton (sorry Wooton UK) prevent my attendance. Perhaps my friend John in Hull can be persuaded to write a review. Assuming of course, that he is not doing anything more pressing on Sunday night. Whadya think John ol' buddy? Darn!! that drivel detector is consistent, if not sensitive. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 03 Jul 02 - 06:43 PM hello akley, I wish i knew you was doing a canoe diplay thing tonight, i might have gone, I went to work but shop was reall quiet so i have gone home to drink some bear and look at madcat, i will be hapy to write a review, just tell me what to put and no problum.i just read youre message again, was you canooing in a field? i think you are a bit crazy! |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Banjo-Flower Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:48 PM I wish I had a keyboard like yours John its brilliant Gerry |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Oaklet Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:50 PM John in Hull, It is important that you express what you feel in your own words. And realise that your own voice will veberate here much more.... reverberantly, (bugger that drivel detector) if you issue forth, freely and without influence from the likes of me or anyone. Review the LMR gig please on Sunday night! And yes it was a field, but not a ploughed field but a set-aside field (it sure felt like a ploughed field though). I will defend against allegations of craziness, but will admit to a little benign eccentricity, occasionally when pressed. Have to go now; I am darning a hole in my black leather hangglider in time for the morning rush. Lobsters. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Oaklet Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:58 PM Banjo-Flower, I don't know whether it's his honesty or his keyboard that has given me so much pleasure over the months. I suspect the former, what about you? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Banjo-Flower Date: 03 Jul 02 - 08:09 PM Oakley,perhaps we could discuss it at Wootton on sunday Gerry |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,mick/punchthehorse Date: 04 Jul 02 - 02:54 AM Linda, I have a great admiration for Brother Oakleys many and varied skills/talents.But a chap has his code. Oakley's posturing and buck leppin' with his new found vocation of exposing himself on the Humber Bridge, leaves me slightly bemused. I have tried and better tried to urge him to do something constructive with his spare time,like reforming with me "The Red Eyed Formation Drinking Team",with maybe a little light "Dwyle Flonking" on the side. I feel, given time,and applying hinself to pastimes such as these he will forget the mummery of his past exploits with the purple helmet brigade. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Skipjack K8 Date: 04 Jul 02 - 07:34 AM Gerry, will make Wootton later on, but will be there. Playing with the family band at a Christening in Cambridge earlier on. Oakley, I have warned you before about starting dangerous sports without drink. Whilst you were choking your biceps with lactic acid, I mounted a raid on the Brocklesby Hunt with my wrinkled retainer, played your Purple Helmets Theme Tune twice, without so much as a royalty, or even publisher's permission, and was assisted home gone midnight. John, where can I get some bear? I'm not sure it's too PC to consume body parts of endangered species, but as a writer's catalyst, it sure beats opium. I salute you, sir. Skipjack |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,Oakley with sore arms Date: 04 Jul 02 - 09:20 AM Skip, I have received reports of the Goxhill session via the Humberside Police Strategic Whistle Division. 'Twas a nice do by all accounts. My Moist Helmet display was judged to be confusing and irrelevant by the South Ferribians, who didn't understand and later drove me out of the village brandishing cudgels and torches whilst shouting curses, not knowing how much I admire multi-tasking in any form. I am undeterred, Greg but I will seek you counsel next time. Thanks for playing the tune, it must have been a highlight of the evening. I will be at Wooton on Sunday (at least in body) after giving me arse a right good pounding on the 164. I look forward to seeing you and Gerry. John's ursine imbibing should be the subject of a tune. I am on the case, but any thoughts about a title? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,Raggytash Date: 04 Jul 02 - 12:09 PM Mick, Once again I'm going to miss it, Cleckheaton Festival this weekend and we're stewarding. However if you keep us posted we will get there one day Raggy |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Linda Kelly Date: 04 Jul 02 - 03:11 PM I haven't flonked a dwyle for many a good year -is it still compulsory? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Les from Hull Date: 04 Jul 02 - 03:58 PM Unfortunately, I'll be at the Kingston. One of these days, mate, one of these days... |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 04 Jul 02 - 04:36 PM mick-whats dwyle flonking? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse Date: 05 Jul 02 - 05:01 AM Linda, Unfortunatly it is not compulsary anymore ( oh for those balmy/barmy days of my youth when we met of a sunday afternoon with a selection of the finest company to indulge in a little light Dwyle Flonking ) I am pleased that there is some one out there that remembers what it was all about,i am also suprised that there has not been any more enquires or anecdotes about said subject. John, I am delighted that you have enquired about this ( maybe young Oakley can gain inspiration from this epistle) The ancient sport of "Dwyle Flonking" said to have been played by Richard the Third, involves a lot of heavy drinking.The rules of the game are fairly simple and have a very distant relation to cricket. The game is played by two teams of 11 and, like cricket, one team bats and the other fields The Dwyle A rag, soaked in warm beer or cider folded around a wooden stick. The Flonker, He/she positioned at the centre of the circle, will flick the Dwyle at the opposing team. A back flick can catch the opposition unawares. A feint can cause the circle to break resulting in a point to the flonking side. ) The fielding team forms a circle, holding hands and rotating quickly round a bucket containing the Dwyle soaking in warm beer or cider. The batting team sends in the first Flonker. He or she picks up the Dwyle and hops in the opposite direction to the defending circle. The flonker then has two attempts at flinging the wet rag at the opposing team. A body hit =1 point, a head hit = 2 points. The referee will decide whether or not a shot has been a hit and will keep tally of the score accordingly. If the Flonker should miss with both his/her shots, then the penalty or pot pot situation comes into play. On the referees signal the Flonker must try to drink a potty full of beer(usually the potty will have two well hardened walls pork sausages in it for the sake of realism) before the defending team can pass the Dwyle along a straight line from one end of the team to the other. Two points are awarded to the successful team. Each flonker has a turn and then the teams reverse roles and play begins again. The team with the most points wins the match. However,there are penalty points for spillage (1) vomiting (2) wetting oneself (3) following through (10) the "treble up "(disqualification and hosing down ) Note: there has always been an argument about belching and farting,my understanding has always been that these are quite acceptable so long as none of the above result because of this. Before anyone starts throwing up there hands in horror, and defending there own areas rules,these are the rules as played around Hull as I remember them, even then there is the "skint version" were the rules are altered slightly when a pint can be substituted for the potty. Great sport!!! just yet another of our dying traditions,maybe we should have a revival? (volunteers one step forward)
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,Oakley, needing the toilet Date: 05 Jul 02 - 05:43 AM You've gotta hand it to yer man, Mick. Apparently it's tonight, it's free and starts at 9. Durty Nellies also serves a great pint of Bear. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,groupy Date: 06 Jul 02 - 06:18 AM Caught this great band last night for the first time.only because the name intrigued me. It is great to see musicians playing for the audiance on their feet and enjoying!!! themselves.This has restored my faith in proper live music, as apposed to the kareoke type that has become so prelevant of late. The explanation on dwyle flonking is great!! I thought this was a wind up, but there lead singer assured me this was not.This band is a must to see. I will definatley be going to their next gig.I was told that there is a singaround at nellies (every one welcome whatever your musical tastes, or you can play sing or not) in beverley this sunday were a couple if not all of p the h appear on a regular monthly basis.Hope to see you there.
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Les from Hull Date: 06 Jul 02 - 10:42 AM Sure, Maggie and I'll be there, Sunday. I gave myself the night off from the Kingston (our usual Friday session) as Maggie wasn't coming out to play (work, not ill). So at last I got to see Mick and the lads in action. A splendid night. I even got a part-time job as Pete's guitar tech, as Pete has been to break an occassional string. Might I also mention (again) the chance to see Mags and me and Rog live and in person in the Sun (Beverley) in the evening. We'll try to be as entertaining in our own way as those equine pugalists. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 06 Jul 02 - 11:09 PM unfiortunatly i coiuldnot go to see pinch the horse on frifay, i had to go to werk because Mustafa's wife had a baby on friday night.It lookss like i missed a good night. Thanks for ecksplaining flye donking mick, it sounds a lot more eziting than cricket, maybe we should organise a mathch, maybe Hull catters versis the rest of the UK or something, we could play it in Peerson Park or that new stadium that the council are bilding, or maybe yorksire v linconshire, but there is not many of them, we could get on tv. when you said flye donking i didnt know it was a game, I Thought it was pulling funny faces with a tiolet seat round your neck, I know there is a name for thids but i dobnt know what it is.Excuse any bad spellings, (I am drinking sume chhep wine from Jacksons, (El Vino Medditeranno), don't buy any it is shite, it makes you pull funny faces.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 07 Jul 02 - 03:53 AM That wine was definetely shit, but luckily I just found some beer at the back of my fidge, but it tastes of bananas (I can't remember how yoo spell bananas but you know what i mean), I think I kept my bananas tooo close to my beer and the taste escaped and got into my beer, so just think on , and bear it in mind etc.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 07 Jul 02 - 04:05 AM (Dont put your bananas neer your beer).john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,mick /punch the horse Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:06 AM after yesterdays gig in bourne pete dean is now looking for a job in a skiffle band!! He actualy managed to finish the last set with two strings on his guitar,so a permanant guitar tech with punch the horse is not without it's atractions les.The only other person i have seen who can change a string as fast as him was Buddy Guy. john, I think you are confusing "Dwyle flonking" with "Gurning". Hope mustafas wife is o.k dont let her near the bananas and cheap wine, a lethal combination with all that curry, and definatly exclude her from the team, under rule four (section 2 clause 7b)of the "dwyle flunkers" manual (international version) Thanks groupy for nice press, please say hello if you see us at "Nellies" |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Oaklet Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:10 AM I have annointed my sensitive bits with vaseline in preparation for Nellies. See you later. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:11 AM Ey Up Mick the horse puncher, I'm hopping to get to Nellys later, though I might go on the bus, I am feeeling ratherb pissed at the minit, Aye that was it (Gurning) thats the werd I was lucking for.see ya later.johhn |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:15 AM Ey up aklkley you w posted while i was typing, hows it going mate? have you seen that Skipjack bloke ( Gary ) recently)? are ye's going to nellyies? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Oaklet Date: 07 Jul 02 - 06:14 AM Hi John, I'm fine thanks. I will be at Nelly's later and plan to meet up with Gary later later this evening. Just try to get some rest now. Sleep tight, John. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Skipjack K8 Date: 07 Jul 02 - 04:51 PM Could you try and spell bananas one more time, please, John? Gary |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 07 Jul 02 - 06:32 PM I think it is bannanas, or is it banannas. I mean them yellow things that mokeys eat anyway.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Oaklet Date: 07 Jul 02 - 07:21 PM If I added anything meaningful, you'd swear it was John writing. Instead: I have a sore arse, a wistful countenance and memories of abuse from drivers on the 164. And a bloated gut. So that'll do. This is Oakley, South Ferriby, (UK) Goodnight. (Oh, and by the way, Wooton was good too).
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,The Deanmeister Date: 08 Jul 02 - 06:08 AM The above conversation has me completely flumoxed. So this is what you all get up to in the early hours of the morning???!!! Thanks for the review, Groupie. Did you get to Nellies yesterday? A little flumoxed as to who you are... Incidentally, is that how you spell Flumoxed? Or is it flummoxed? Help....at least I can spell bananas. I will have to keep my eye on you lot. Later Dudes. Pete the Axeman. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: Linda Kelly Date: 08 Jul 02 - 06:46 AM Mick - your explanation of Dwyle Flonking is surely the definitive version. Marvellous and you were in fine voice yesterday -not even put off by the sight of Oakley's legs, which is more than can be said for the rest of us! |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse Date: 08 Jul 02 - 09:50 AM Thanks for that confidence booster linda. The sight of brother Oakleys legs was slightly of putting, but as the saying goes, anything that would shock mick mcgarry would turn thousands grey.
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,Oakley with an arse like a baboon's Date: 08 Jul 02 - 10:28 AM I was also put off my stroke by the appearance of my legs. They went down much better in Wooton however, so I suppose it is a north/south thing. Incidentally, I became a little unsteady later in the evening, and my good friend John (Cara's guitarist) bundled me, the legs and my trusty bicycle into the back of his landrover and emptied me onto the pavement outside my house. Bless him! Abiding memory from Nellies? Using Dobbo's pint to locate the puncture in my inner tube, thinking it was mine. What an understanding man he is. Hope to provide a full formation display of purple in August. What do you say, Skip? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse Date: 08 Jul 02 - 11:36 AM oakley. rumour has it that cara is playing at holy trinity in hull this coming saterday. Is this true? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull From: GUEST,Oakley with a vivid backside Date: 08 Jul 02 - 11:40 AM Yes. Await the launch of new thread entitled "Cara at Holy Trinity Church Hull UK" very soon. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Skipjack K8 Date: 08 Jul 02 - 04:53 PM Gazooks, you've inspired me. It's time the Purple Helmets pulled on the flavoured mackintoshes, and thundered like pistons into Beverley, but without being sick, this time, huh? August 4th, or whatever, we'll be there, bare, fair and square for the bibulous ride-past. Sorry I didn't make Wooton, people, as the present Mrs S was expiring at home, but I debuted as an organ virgin at the Catholic cathedral in Cambridge, playing stuff for a fambly Christening. I served 'em up Planxty Irwin for starters, whilst they shuffled in, Morning Has Broken for the choral stuff, Lord of the Dance on buttons and bows, then the grand finale of Ashokan Farewell. The trouble was that my crowd all buggered off after the ointment bit, unbeknownst to me, and I was busy giving Jay Ungar's finest to a churchfull of God-botherers waiting to kick off the 3.45pm mass. Laugh? I nearly put some Euros in the collection! One other thing is worth the mention. My lovely sons wanted to join in the playing, so I let them pull the organ stops out. The sign said "on no account use No 16 Basson". The boy waited for the final verse, but out that mother came. The spire nearly ended up in the font, and I declare siesmologists are poring over a graph showing techtonic shift in the Gog Magogs. Skipjack |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 08 Jul 02 - 06:23 PM Wicks's own brand drain-testing kits produce brown smoke. B&Q; red. It well be a spectactular smoke-fest but they burn for about 6 minutes on my test-rig. Those Red Arrows (who flew over my house last Saturday without permission) will be weeping into their Airtex singlets for months when they get a whiff of this. I kept the spirit of the 164 alive on Sunday Gary, though I missed the company of my accomplice. If anyone suggests that playing the organ is acceptable behaviour, just say no, and shop him to the the Special Whistles Division of the Humberside constabulary. Might see you tomorrow. Salut! |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 08 Jul 02 - 06:49 PM I am thick. Thus, I have just realised that The Deanmeister/Pete the Axeman (multiple personality disorder, Peter?) is one of my tallest friends. And has been so for over 18 months. (A friend that is, not the tall bit (although I suspect that he has been tall for ages)). Anyway, hello Peter! this is one hell of a way to idle away those precious insomniac hours huh? Always refer matters of spelling to John in Hull, who can be relied upon. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:01 PM Tanks for the plig akley, dont forget to keep your bannnanas away from your bear. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:02 PM (they will make it taste funny).john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:25 PM Along with "never buy your underpants from a car boot sale", your advice will be my personal mantra for ages. Now get some sleep, John in Hull. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:31 PM By the way, you are very welcome for the plig. But what in the name of all-that's-holy is a plig? I have to lie down now and try to forget. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:46 PM sorry, I ment plog (not plig).joihn |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: harpmaker Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:57 PM Idiots--Its "PLUG",-'y know, like him out the "Beano", who looks like **** out of punch the horse |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 08 Jul 02 - 08:04 PM That's right harpmaker, my keebord is no good, i keep meaning to take it back to the ship. PS Why is OAkley always telling me to go t sleep? I f I go to sllep now I wont get to sleep, i need to have a few bears first) Another PS, see you temorrer.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: harpmaker Date: 08 Jul 02 - 08:08 PM look foreward to it! |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,Oakley with fading bruises Date: 09 Jul 02 - 04:54 AM Harpmaker, thanks for the spanner on Sunday. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST Date: 09 Jul 02 - 05:22 AM Something more than a keyboard is loose in this thread. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,Oakley Date: 09 Jul 02 - 09:21 AM Don't worry guest, John will be safely aboard his ship now, dreaming of his bears, hamsters and banana-flavoured beers. And puzzling about Dwyle Flonking, purple helmets, land canoes, the Red Arrows, cycling and my awful legs. All in all, a very satisfying thread, completely unaffected by drift, and drivel-free. I think that this is the reason I drop in occasionally. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 09 Jul 02 - 07:55 PM Helooo , tonight I went To t ap £ Spile In Hull, and coming back I got a Pizza and sume chips,, I put the chips on top off my pizza and I was eeating them when a Bad Person came up to me and try to nick my chipps, he said" Give me some chips" I said 2 no, piss off, but he tryied to nick my chipps anyway so I punched his face and he fell down, at the time, i felt a bit gilty and run away, but when I got home I think it was his fault and I should have punch him more, you should not nick other peepoles chips. PS. if you see anything in the paper about this pleese do not tell them it was me that punch him, but you should not pinch peeoples chips.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,The Deanmeister Date: 10 Jul 02 - 07:38 AM Good day chaps. Mr. Harpmaker, I do hope were not suggesting that I look like Plug from the Beano.....!! This thread must be kept high up the list. Was gonna say something intellectual to brother Oakley, but frankly I can't be arsed. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 10 Jul 02 - 03:46 PM Peter, there is no point trying to engage me in intellectual pursuits, because last night I was subject to a horrific street crime. Some footpad in a cowboy hat, brandishing a hamster and a Portuguese dictionary launched an savage and unprovoked and attack (well, relatively unprovoked attack), leaving me black - eyed, verbally abused and starving. I have given the police a full description of the assailant, including what he muttered whilst giving me a good seeing - to (a long rant about banana-flavoured bears; but they said it could have been almost anyone in Hull, and needed something more positive to progress their enquiry. I am now a statistic of this troubled world. Oh woe.
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: harpmaker Date: 10 Jul 02 - 04:02 PM Oakley, think nothing of it, you can borrow my spanner anytime! John, I think he was wrong trying to pinch your "sume chips"! And ohh------Hi Pete mate!! Hope you are well!! From your good mate Shukko-xx. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Skipjack K8 Date: 10 Jul 02 - 05:12 PM I'd lay off the bear for a while, John; it seems to make you irritable. Gary |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Banjo-Flower Date: 10 Jul 02 - 05:56 PM Punch the Chip-pincher what a fantastic name for a band (much better than Punch the Horse do'nt you think) Gerry Ducking and running for cover |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,The Deanmiester Date: 11 Jul 02 - 07:02 AM Mr Shuttleworth, you did not answer my question about Plug...! Calling me your good mate will not get you off the hook. And brother Oakley, did your assailant escape on a savaged Kawasaki 750 with no fairing, stickers all over the tank, and a gold sprayed engine block? We may be victims of the same Hamster brandisher. What is the world coming too?? I hear a vicious rumour that the equine pugilists are performing at a place called Withernsea on Friday. This is a worrying development in our career, gentlemen. If we're not back by Sunday, will some of you kindly order a saerch and rescue expedition? Please bring vaseline and field dressings. And salad dressing might be a good idea. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,The Deanmeister Date: 11 Jul 02 - 07:05 AM Make that search and rescue. Though saerch and rescue might be more fun. Oh and please bring bannnnanas. One can never have too many. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST Date: 11 Jul 02 - 07:41 AM Bannnnas and vaseline, Peter? On a trip to the seaside? Involving four grown men in a camper van? Good heavens! Our reputation will be in tatters if this ever gets out. By the way, I know why the manufacturer of your strings has a stammer - it's the pressure of the extended shift pattern they have to operate when they get wind of a forthcoming gig involving Pete "scissorhands" Dean. Honestly, it's like playing with the Who sometimes. I don't recall my assailant speeding off up Chanterlands Avenue on a stolen motorbike, but there was a Lada parked nearby. With a strangely - configured keyboard on the front seat, marked "return to the ship". I think he is either a matelot or an alien. It's start, anyway. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse Date: 11 Jul 02 - 10:37 AM banjoflower, no |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,Pete "Townsend" Deanmeister Date: 11 Jul 02 - 10:43 AM Bannnnanas, Dave. Get it right. And you made no mention of the salad dressing. I had particularly interesteing plans for that. One wonders where this thread is going to lead....However I am going to be astride my throbbing machine, as I have no intention of spending the evining in the Punchmobile. One night in your van in deepest Lincolnshire was quite enough for me. Can you help me? What is a Matelot? I am obviously an inferior illiterate peasant. And how does one join the Moist Helmet Display Team? I have a friend of a mate who is interested in canoeing in ploughed fields. He also plays the Harpsichord in a Kurdish Jazz band. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse Date: 11 Jul 02 - 10:51 AM banjoflower, no |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,Oakley Date: 11 Jul 02 - 10:55 AM Banjo Flower, For God's sake don't rattle Mick - that's my job. You see, he was Curmudgeonly enough on Sunday, and I'd hate to see him become monosyllabic or repetitive in his posts. Hiya Mick! How's it going? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse Date: 11 Jul 02 - 12:52 PM Oakley, it isnt. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 11 Jul 02 - 02:00 PM Banjo Flower, look what you've done. I'll now have to soothe him in Withernsea, and probably again in Goodmanham on Saturday. If he repeats his last post, we can all watch out. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Banjo-Flower Date: 11 Jul 02 - 02:11 PM And i bet he soaks his dwyle in bear (cos he comes from 'ull) Gerry |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,mick/punchthehorse Date: 11 Jul 02 - 02:21 PM oakley, it isnt. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Linda Kelly Date: 11 Jul 02 - 04:28 PM Soothing him in Withernsea -does that involve some sort of ointment? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Dorrie Date: 11 Jul 02 - 06:21 PM GUEST,mick/punchthehorse why dont you join and then you wont have to be a guest anymore? john in hull did you really punch some one in the face for trying to pinch your chips? i'll have to be careful with you living down my street now!!! dorrie |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 11 Jul 02 - 07:31 PM Skiipjacck (Gary)-I not get iiritated about my bear, but if sombody nick your'e chiops I think tou ewould doo the same thond, (I am am very easy going and usuallly never make any truble, but if any peeple try to nick my chips then obviussly i get pissed off, I think you wood do the samer thoing as well, I herd a saying " an english mans home is his chips" or something, If any Mudcat peeplo read this and worried, i happy tp share my chiops with you, but other peepol can piss off or get punch in the face.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 11 Jul 02 - 08:04 PM Mick, John has illustrated yet another advantage of becoming a Mudcat member. Not only can you abandon writing "Mick/punchthehorse" at the beginning of each message (which until I can soothe you, is more verbose than the content of your posts) you can also nick John's chips without fear of being punched unconscious. I agree with Dorrie and think you should plunge into the drivel pool, regardless of the state of your underwear. I will post "New member, right in the middle of Hull" to celebrate. What do you say oh curmudgeonly one? More than three syllables would be a sign that you are becoming calmer and less needy of my ointment and my soothing hands. PS Tell Peter what a matelot is. I ain't talking to him for mentioning our night in my van on a forum visited by literally tens of people. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 11 Jul 02 - 08:16 PM Heelo Dorrie_ I didnt see you message, dont worry, i would not punch your face (or your horse!), you are a good person , and local, and a proper mudcatter.PS it was good yo see yoo in Beverley, I hope you had a good berfday.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: ossonflags Date: 12 Jul 02 - 09:31 AM Oakley, As you can see I have acted one yours and Dorries advice and plunged kicking and squealing into the drivel pool. The job is done,there will be no need for the soothing hands and ointment as you suggest and no doubt meant kindly. Bye the bye,could you bring with you tonight the ear dewaxing candles if you have any left, I am slightly bunged up in one ear. There will be a small prize for the first one to correctly identify the origin and meaning of my mudcat name. peter, matelot, pronounced matelow, is simply the french name for a sailor (you have led a sheltered life)the ranks in the royal navy and mercantile marine, such as bosun's mate, gunner's mate,first mate etc. are derived from this. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Skipjack K8 Date: 12 Jul 02 - 10:23 AM John, don't entertain for a nanosecond the concept that I was impugning your ability to analyse a situation. Oakley was obviously calorifically challenged, and the blighter got off lightly. I'd mix up me films and me metaphors, have stuck two chips up his nose, doused him in vinegar, and enjoyed his liver with a fine chianti. It was a prima facae case of common theft, and if it wasn't for decent-minded people like you, villains like that would be costing us dearly living the life of Reilly in Hedon Road holiday camp. Gary |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,The deanmeister Date: 12 Jul 02 - 11:32 AM Thanks ossonflags. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Dorrie Date: 12 Jul 02 - 12:34 PM thanx for saying i was a good person john and i'm proud to be a 'proper mudcatter' my birthday was good thanx for asking |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Les from Hull Date: 12 Jul 02 - 01:59 PM Ossonflags - I imagine that your nickname if uttered in 'ull would refer the listener to a horse on the pavement. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: harpmaker Date: 12 Jul 02 - 03:18 PM Very good Les!! Ossonflags?-has it got anything to do with VERY LARGE PANTS? Recording studio up and running at ours now BTW. John, has Mally recovered from sulking yet? If not, buy him 'sume chips' from me! and what is a thond, John?? And finaly, to the 'Beano Brigade', happy giging over the weekend! Bye for now, yours, Eggslice. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 12 Jul 02 - 03:41 PM Hi John, I saw our friend Mandolin Malcom, in The Tap last night, I think he has recovered from his little tantrum, but he was quite distressed that the Tap had run out of his favourite beer, he was moaning to Theresa, so she told him to "stop bloody moaning and have something else to drink"! PS.Blind Lemons are playing at The Tap every Thursday from now. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: harpmaker Date: 12 Jul 02 - 04:19 PM Me, (on guitar/mandola), Andy, (on mandolin), and Pete, (guitar), where absolutely awsome during the Beverley folk festival, (Dandy in fact!) Just fancied sharing that! Johnny. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST Date: 12 Jul 02 - 04:46 PM harpmaster i wholly agree with you having been a witness to the event |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 12 Jul 02 - 05:16 PM who are you GUEST? are you local? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Banjo-Flower Date: 13 Jul 02 - 04:51 AM Careful John or he'll pinch your chips |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: harpmaker Date: 13 Jul 02 - 06:35 AM Click Here and follow the link to view Punch the Horse. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 14 Jul 02 - 02:50 PM Did Les win the small prize for gessing Micks name? I dont know what the prize is, but it could be an ant or a spider or something.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Les from Hull Date: 14 Jul 02 - 05:06 PM Yes John, I saw Mick on Sunday and he had to 'fess up. I didn't have the full story though. Mick's dad had told him that ossonflags was a warning that a creature of an equine nature had succeeded in travessing over to the part of the carriageway normally reserved for pedestrians. So the cry would probably be 'eyup ossonflags', proving that, once again, 'ullferk can get an important message over with a paucity of verbiage. I'm hoping for better than an ant or a spider though. I shall probably hold out for a cockroach at least. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 14 Jul 02 - 11:11 PM Helllo o Les, I think today you use to many posh werds, and i do'nt kmow what you are on about.Today I went to Tip and Spale, I just jot back now) there was one mudcat person there calleed ramblin rose, we stayed for a long time, then we went to somebody hoose called martin, and play some music and staying there till 3 .30 am, in the morning, they smoke some drugs 9(dope) and sayid to me £have soine)" so i haid some, and just fall asleeep,, I saw one girl there called hidy, she is really nice, i was talking too her, and i see her next week, i looking forward to it ( she is reallly nice), dhe can playing piano. so i see her next weelk.john PS.there was another girl there that was nice, she was tall and a long dress and glasses.johhn |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,The Deanmeister Date: 15 Jul 02 - 06:10 AM Glad to see the thread is still alive and kicking. Made it back from Withernsea without the aid of vaseline or salad dressing. Shukko, would love to pop round to have a fiddle wiv your recording gear. May even pick the bicycle while I'm there!! Gimme a tinkle and let me know when's convenient? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: ossonflags Date: 15 Jul 02 - 11:22 AM John, I fear you are picking up some bad habits,it must be all this exposure to brother Oakley, take it from me he can get to you that way if you let him. Les did guess the meaning of ossonflags,well near enough anyway.It is a very old saying peculiar to Hull.I have travelled in many lands foreign and otherwise, and have never heard it uttered any were else other than in Hull. It is horse on the pavement.This can be taken literaly or more freely as a warning, such as in your case, john, if one of your chum's had been in the vicinity when the foul cutpurse tried to sieze your chips,he could have shouted out ossonflags!!!!! and you would have been able to avert the catastrophy with consumate ease. Likewise in the future, if said cutpurse comes near your bear,dregs,newlady,hat,dwyle,keyboard,curry,mandolin,car,chappattis,naan bread,bananas,crap wine,portuguese dictionary, hamster etc.etc.etc. you will now know how to react,always assuming, of course, that you always have a willing and patient chum who knows the code, to follow you around for the rest of your life to avert any such assults by bandits known and unknown.Maybe Oakley would vollunteer to be said chum. The small prize mentioned will be a small bulb of garlic. This to be presented to Les at the next nellies gathering (dress optional) |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: harpmaker Date: 15 Jul 02 - 07:51 PM OK Pete, mate. Ohh, missed you last night at the 'Oddiees'though! Anyhow, Andy made up for it- The bugger man! The Tasmanians kept us well entertained with their music. Chow for now, Johnny------not in the Beano.Hmmmm!!! |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Noreen Date: 15 Jul 02 - 09:18 PM What with equine pugilists and ursine imbibing (John's Best Bitter Bear for a title?) I find myself made all of a flutter by this thread... I must get to Hull by fair means or foul! Will any of the aforementioned activities have a place at the Hull Shanty Festival? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 16 Jul 02 - 02:29 AM Noreen, I have just blushed hotly and now have to lie down again. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 16 Jul 02 - 02:47 AM noreen- you should go to huul, we have got a deep , 9best one in the wrolrd).john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,The Deanmeister Date: 16 Jul 02 - 05:52 AM Oakley, you appear to have a new fanclub member. And yes Noreen, I suspect there may be a good deal of the above ocurring at Shanty time. Bring your own Hamster. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,Oakley hard at it as usual Date: 16 Jul 02 - 06:13 AM In the "Cara at Holy Trinity Church Hull (UK) thread, Linda Kelly wrote "Hull have spent serious money in advertising costs for celebrating the Deep as the finest aquarium in the land -What a waste of money- when all that was needed was a national advertising campaign using John from Hull's inimitable expression 'WE GOY A BIG FIS DEEP SEE MUSEUM' -they would be flocking in their thousands!!!!" I added that Johnny Depp, as his surname is the same as a certain submarinum (as translated by John in Hull's keyboard) should be engaged to spearhead the campaign. Now, if I recall, didn't Johnny Depp play Peter Dean in the film Peter Scissorhands? Or have I been completely phased by my invitation to impregnate Noreen? Keep this to yourselves, but last night I dreamed about Ossonflaggs, and am worried that I might have to increase the dosage. Again. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Noreen Date: 16 Jul 02 - 08:21 AM Oh, Oakley my dear, I do apologise but I fear you have taken the wrong end of the stick (?!).... I was merely enquiring whether you would look after my offspring while I am singing with the Shellbacks, since you appear to be such a fine and upstanding citizen. (Phew- got out of that one... the lovely Skipjack would never forgive me...) |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,Oakley hard at it Date: 16 Jul 02 - 08:45 AM Order and peace has now been restored. Thanks Noreen. The apology is all mine. How I could have twisted your innocent plea for baby-sitting services, into something as wanton as that, I'll never know. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Skipjack K8 Date: 16 Jul 02 - 09:17 AM Skipjack is pleased! Gary |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: ossonflags Date: 16 Jul 02 - 10:16 AM oakley, many thanks for the dream, was I good? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,Oakley flat out Date: 16 Jul 02 - 10:58 AM Ossonflags, there is always a downside of asking me to elaborate upon anything. But here goes. In my dream, you were throwing small explosive charges from an island in the middle of an urban lake, killing wildlife - particularly the sea anemones that inhabited the lake in large numbers. Around the outside was a throng of angry onlookers, all baying for your blood. They urged me to row to the island, where I had to dispatch you with a sharpened wooden pole. I had to do it, but it took ages to get to you because the island was covered in a tangle of office furniture. When I finally stabbed you, you beamed with pleasure, as it was some kind of test. The onlookers started to cheer in support of me and what I had acheived. God in heaven only knows what that was all about. I hope you aren't too disturbed or traumatised by it. But watch your back during the Punch the Horse gig at the Hope and Anchor South Ferriby UK on the 27th July, particularly if I have my sharpened pole with me. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: GUEST,Oakley almost spent Date: 16 Jul 02 - 11:05 AM Skipjack, I am very pleased that you are pleased. I think that we shall pleasure each other in the Sloop this evening. I am looking forward to it. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Linda Kelly Date: 16 Jul 02 - 01:27 PM I am hoping the delightful Noreen will be my guest during Hull Shanty Festival -I will be delighted, protective clothing willing, to introduce her to Oakley et al. With any luck I may also be able to introduce her to John From Hull to prove he is not a pigment of her imagination (as he would put it himself). |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 16 Jul 02 - 01:41 PM I am glad I am not alone in thinking that Noreen is delightful, Linda. Why don't you get your people to liase with my people and Gary's people (and of course, John's people) to diarise a power lunch in Hull. Or alternatively, a bit of a soaking in a bear house. Keep us informed. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Noreen Date: 16 Jul 02 - 02:11 PM Linda, how remiss of me; did I not reply to accept your offer of accommodation?? So sorry, my dear- but you know how it is, so many offers of one sort or another to deal with... What form of protective clothing should I bring, and is this requirement due to the house or the guests? Perhaps the rubber gear would also be useful for visiting John's oft-mentioned DeppO? I have actually met joHn when he was from Hull rather than in Hull, but not his hamster; perhaps the hamster could be included in the power lunch? (Calm down John, I meant as one of the guests.) There may be a small window... |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 16 Jul 02 - 04:22 PM Linda-i have seen nOreen beforr, S(She was in wales, playing a key bored (and singing as well), I think I saw here somwhere else as well but i dont know yet.I think we should have a meeting (a big piss up) and sing and music and eat food, I lik to eat pizzas) .If you don't want to see the deeep , you can see harpmakers fish pond, i have just seen it, it is really nice , he has got 4 gold fish. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 16 Jul 02 - 06:56 PM The power lunch is a must, now I know that Harpmaker has four goldfish. References to this and diarising was to make the Americans (who post in the night) feel more comfortable. I have just been to the Sloop in Barton and been reminded of why I bothered to learn to play the violin in the first place. I am a bit pissed, so I'll go now before I start to drivel. Goodnight. |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: harpmaker Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:09 PM 5 |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:17 PM That's what he thinks! (I like goldfish) :-) |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:21 PM Harpmaker, I have gone to bed, happy, sore and musically satiated thanks to the Sloop Inn in Barton on Humber. The second place I played in my return to music 5 years ago. One year for each of your fish. See you soon. I have to sleep.... |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:27 PM Jesus, streetfighter John now eats Goldfish! I have to lie down and try to forget this. It might get in the way of successful social interraction with my peers. There is only so much that a feller can take. Can you ever leave The Mudcat Cafe? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:28 PM Oakley, try not to drivel on your keyboerd, (you might brake it) a good way to clean bits of pizza and nuts and stuff out your computer is =turn it upside down and hit it , but hold it over youre bin or all the bits will get on youre flooor and make a mess.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Oaklet Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:32 PM Oh God....Perhaps it will all be ok in the morning.... I can smell marzipan....I think that cornflakes look a bit like people...... |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 16 Jul 02 - 07:40 PM I keap meening to go to THe slooop, Gary gave me directions ages ago, but I don't know wether my heap of shit Lada will get there, (it is only 5 yrears old , but seems to get more rusty ebery day)! Maybe I will buy a pushbike, then I can drink beeer as well.john |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Noreen Date: 16 Jul 02 - 11:02 PM jOhn, I'm glad our meetings were as memorable for you as they were for me... we met first in the beer tent at Windy Bottom (come to think of it, that could also be a pigment of the imagination). Was it after you saw me playing key bored that you fell into the river? :0) nOreen |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 17 Jul 02 - 12:34 AM See Part 2 (this thread is getting too long for the old people with computers).PS I think I have met everybody in this thread, has anybody else met every body? |
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Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK) From: Noreen Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:37 AM Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)This thread is closed, because it got too long and some people may have trouble loading it. |
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