BS: Edwina's diary

Subject: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Edwina
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 02:19 AM

Hi catters

I know my revelations in the paper about my slight indescretion with John will come as a shock to many of you who thought I only had eyes for the fat bastard but you must remember I had to do something to promote my career. It has taken a long time for MCFat to receive his world wide reputation through his non attendance at Beverley and I just want to forwarn catters before the rest of my diary appears in the paper that any confessions I make about my relationship with said fat bastard are true. Anyone who saw him in those trousers at Otley I am sure can understand why I am finally breaking my silence about my relationship with John.

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,John
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 02:34 AM

How could you Edwina?

Not only do you disclose to the Nation what happened when I was supposed to be with Maggie but now you confess to going to Otley and having a relationship with a man in trousers - I will be black balled!!!!

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Maggie
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 02:37 AM

Johnnnn!

If this lady was for turning - this confession by your strumpet would make one turn - do you think John Prescott might be interested in enhancing his career?

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 02:41 AM

McFat - when you said you had never been with a woman I didnt know that excluded your antics nuns and politicians! I will have to reconsider my non attendance at Beverley in support of you!

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 03:01 AM

hEllo, guest john was not me, it was a diferent onw, i dont know what this is all about anyway, who is edwina and why would we want to know about her dairy? is it anything to do with Oaklet 9he is a dairy farmer in barton)?

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 05:01 AM

It's all about John Major having a Currie(wonder if she was hot?) Whereas Edwina obviously likes cold fish!
BJ

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 05:52 AM

Was the Japanese ambassador also involved?

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Li So Much
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 05:56 AM

I deny hawl involvement wi dis rady

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 06:33 AM

I thought a threesome with John, Maggie and Eggwina would be really fun to watch.

Tarzan.

on EtV computer

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 08:28 AM

Well it hasn't changed my good opinion of Edwina, but it's certainly improved my opinion of John Major.
Didn't know he had it in him!!
[Readers may change the last word to suit themselves]
Failte.....Giok

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Sarah
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 09:03 AM

The FINAL egg, I mean nail, in the coffin of the Tory party.

I think Dunkin Donut should disband the whole sorry crew.

The news made my day anyhow!

Cheers Sarah

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 11:57 AM

Did she drop him because he did not count - even as chancellor? So he became an ex-"check HER"
grey power rules!

Subject: RE: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Edwina
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 12:10 PM

actually friends I dropped him during the salmonella crisis - I was too eggshausted to deal with all the eggscitement of an eggstramarital dingdong

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 01:20 PM

Did Eggwina ever meet Bill Clinton?

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: C-flat
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 01:26 PM

Well it won't make me buy Edwinas book but it does put the grey man of British politics in a slightly different shade! The only other interesting thing about Mr. Major was that he ran away from the circus to become an accountant!

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 01:33 PM

The interesting thing about Major has always been the way he suddenlt emerged from politically nowhere and was fast-tracked to pole position in the Tory party by Maggie.

I always rather assumed that it was because he knew where the bodies were buried, or something like that - but maybe there's another explanation.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 05:45 PM

Heard it on the news just before I tuned in to the Mudcat. Had to laugh out loud when they seriously said it might have changed the face of British politics if the affair had become public knowledge before 1990 as John Major wouldn't have been acceptable as Maggie's successor! B...s! As far as I've gathered from news reports over the years, extramarital affairs have been what the Tory male politicians were best at - not politics.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Mr Happy
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 06:02 PM

edweena, was she egging him on?

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 06:07 PM

So hens eggs were not the only eggs that could have got Edwina in trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: The Walrus
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 06:48 PM

Much has been made in the media about the affair and Major's "Back to Basics" campaign with all the "scandals" that followed it <1>.
The basic difference between Major/Currie affair and all the others that haunted the Late Thatcher/Major era was that J & E had the sense to be discreet - unusual in a politician at best and rarer than hen's teeth in a Tory of that period.

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 07:05 PM

Maybe it was just that nobody expected it of wee John? (And it isn't as though he was anybody in those days, same as Edwina.)
BTW, according to the BBC news, Lady Archer has spoken of her 'surprise' at the 'temporary lapse in John Major's taste'. A case of the pot calling the kettle black, for sure!

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: greg stephens
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 07:12 PM

Not in the Clinton or David Mellor class, but not bad, not bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 07:20 PM

Tune in to >a href=http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/radioscotland/media/radioscotland.ram?survey>Currie for a phone-in on the affair going on right now.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 05:58 AM

I'm waiting for Anne Wiidecombe to admit to having Peter Mandelson's love child...
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 06:12 AM

Bet John didn't suck her toes!

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 11:38 AM

It hought sex was an impeachable offense?

Our Republicans, anyway, seem to believe it.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 12:25 PM

Perhaps the unkindest remark about this that I've seen was in a piece by Yvonne Roberts in today's Observer,, summing up what these revelations will mean for Edwina Currie: Her reward, apart from the cash, will be to be marked down in contemporary times as the woman who shagged a political sheep.

Ouch!

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Mr Red
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 01:06 PM

I think Eggwina has been misquoted - surely she was referring to Sam 'n Ella
Yes that affair!
well you can't make a book sell without breaking eggs!

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 11:29 AM

I heard a quote, I think it was from John Major's sister - "Thank god it wasn't Anne Widdecombe".

John in Hull - are you sure that this Oaklet in Barton (who you seem to have some sort of attraction to) isn't actually bovine ? Does she have a tail, large udders, more than 2 nipples and say mooooo ?

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 01:09 PM

Come now does Edwina Currie really expect anyone to believe someone actually found her attractive?!!

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Edwina
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 03:43 PM

Chaps and chapesses I have to say that I was very hurt by the remarks John made about our relationship ( no not John from Hull though if I had known his passion for bovines I might have put my wellies on) I think the problem was he(JM) 'came too quickly' into power - it might have been Stephanie Powers but coming quickly was certainly part of it - ! - or maybe it was Maggie's street name You know these iron maidens - when they are not head banging they are sheep sh------! Anyway back to basics it certainly was ( back of a rusty old mini I seem to remember!

I just thought you might like to know Clinton was wonderful ( I have kept my dress in case anyone needs proof) Come to think of it I wondered why he offered me the cigar afterwards! Talk about burning the evidence!

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 04:59 PM

Eggwina was quite an attractive woman in those days.
Failte.....Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 05:02 PM

Certainly more attractive than Mrs Duck...

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Cobble
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 05:19 PM

At least when John told Norma he would'nt be home tonight, he was going for a curry he was telling the truth.

Cuddly Cobble.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:57 PM

Mrs Duck,

You're hardly in a great position to judge the physical attractiveness of other women, are you?

Let the people decide:

Edwina Currie or Mrs Duck

Hmmm, I wonder where my vote goes...

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Edwina
Date: 01 Oct 02 - 02:48 AM


Mrs Duck - do not rise to the man's insults - lets face it the best of us have had to suffer the gibes of the press - and I have always been partial to duck a la orange (how about it? - it would make a great new part to my diary) curried duck - now there's a thought!

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 01 Oct 02 - 05:04 AM

We know this guest of old - he's our old aquaintance the "Mouse with a small penis" - his own description of himself. I'm sure that Eggwina wouldn't have found any use for him at all !

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 01 Oct 02 - 11:30 AM

One day, a few years ago, my then-wife, Sue, had been working all day in the garden (without any gloves on), before realizing she needed to get round to the school sharpish to pick the kids up. No time to wash her hands. Who should be hanging around the school gates but Eggwina, on the stump (oo-er) and pressing the flesh (oo-er again). Sue approaches, all unsuspecting, to find this strange woman desperate to shake her hand. It's difficult to imagine who was the more horrified -- Sue when she realized it was Eggwina, or Eggwina when she saw the state of the hand that she was about to envelop in her own dainty paw!

BJ

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 01 Oct 02 - 05:27 PM

Not that it's only tories that moralise at us, but rememebr Major and back to basics? Single mothers, travellers and all the other groups he and that bunch jibed at. Remember the lectures from party conferences about moral standards?

Just goes to prove a point that was often made at the time about Cut-throats, crooks and conmen. (Show of hands lyrics) Hypocrites the lot of them. Lest we forget!!(I don't think NL is any better either-but I wish they wouldn't moralise at the rest of us)

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Oct 02 - 08:38 PM

So, Major was standing to attention then?
Have relations been Normalised since?

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: fat B****rd
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 06:48 AM

Dear Guest Edwina, Madame, in reply to yours of the 28th. TROUSERS... OTLEY...if you breathe a word about me making you wear my trapeze artists clothes then......I shall be extemely cross..so there.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 07:17 AM

Dear Guest Edwina,
Is there any truth in the rumour that your famous statement about salmonella in eggs was made to cover up the fact that you were passing on a rare veneral strain of the infection to all your many lovers ?

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 01:43 PM

Dear Edwina, were you very jealous when Virginia Bottomley appeared on the scene?(She might be the next kiss and tell!)

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 03:06 PM

Virginia Bottomley! Now there's a woman I really fancied.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: oombanjo
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 03:43 PM

Is that both, Verginia? and Bottomley?

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Snuffy
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 05:27 PM

Did you know that "I'm an evil tory bigot" is an anagram of Virginia Bottomley?

Any anagrams for Eggwina?

WassaiL! V

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Ireland
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 06:27 PM

On an interview on tv Edwina Currie when asked : As you said, John Major said he is ashamed about it all. Are you? No was the reply, which went on--   

To encourage this Brixton boy to have the self-confidence and the self-esteem to try for the Prime Minister's job and the leadership of the Tory Party and to get it and convince Margaret Thatcher that he should have it.

So to become a prime minister the key is to sh-g Edwina Currie, no wonder the tories are in trouble, no-one got the nerve to tackle her.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 03 Oct 02 - 04:35 AM

I always said the Tories were f*cked

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Oaklet
Date: 03 Oct 02 - 08:34 AM

Dave Bryant, how did you know about my extra nipples?

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Oct 02 - 09:20 AM

no-one got the nerve to
tackle her.
very funny ***BG*** LOL

but should we forget it is diverting attention from the Blair/Iraq debacle.

So what politician is she in bed with now? - given her predeliction for PM's (despite HRT)

It is also selling books.

Call me a cynic and we'd both be right.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: GUEST,Ireland
Date: 03 Oct 02 - 10:02 AM

If Bush fails in Iraq, send in Edwina, whoever she does not sh-g to death she'll bore to death. I suspose reading her book will make people lose the will to live. See she has some use.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Sarah the flute
Date: 03 Oct 02 - 10:08 AM

I'm sure there's a joke here somewhere about "hard cheese" (ref to Listeria and soft cheeses that she covered along with eggs) but I'm too tired at the end of a long day to think of anything witty.

Good publicity for the Tories and Mr Dunking Smith

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 03 Oct 02 - 11:34 AM

Mr Red - I don't understand your comment "Despite HRT".

"Essex Girl" is on HRT and is more than living up to her name !

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Mr Red
Date: 04 Oct 02 - 08:34 AM

Sarah the Flute
Shooting the Bries?

Dave Bryant
actually I was wrong it should have been PMT - Prime Ministerial Tension (eventually)

Essex Girl? be thankful - I lived through three formulations of HRT (vicariously I hasten to add) and it was not a pleasant experience - Think repair job, not new model; think glands kicking back in on their own and double dose on that progesterone; think PMS/PMT and most of all - DUCK. Now think yourself lucky - it doesn't work in all cases nor all prescriptions without some side-effects. Smoking may have been a factor (I just fumed), unfortunate choice of parents maybe but cornucopia? - not in all cases.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Oct 02 - 10:04 AM

Any songs yet? Some new verses to Vindaloo might do I suppose, but that's not a song I enjoy.

Mind, I don't suppose too much enjoyment can have been involved anyway, so perhaps it'd be appropriate.

Back to bunk-ups.

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Mr Red
Date: 05 Oct 02 - 06:21 AM

bun cups - is that a Kippling cake for afters?

Subject: RE: BS: Edwina's diary
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 05 Oct 02 - 08:54 AM

Kippling? Is that like coupling, only you do it ruddy 'ard?

BJ