things that change your life

Subject: things that change your life
From: boab d
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 12:51 PM

I was in my Bed last night and I got to thinking, as you do, about things that I have done. Well as i was lying there I started thinking about when i worked in the Brazda refugee camp in Macedonia during the Kosovo crisis and I started to wonder how many other people had been to or worked in places that are etched in peoples memories. I dont know if this is all that important but it was at 0430 this morn
Cheers Dylan

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: annamill
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 01:16 PM

I work in NY.

I wasn't in the Trade Center this time, but I was the first time it was hit. Talk about being etched in your memory!

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: rock chick
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 01:53 PM

Nothing as drastic as you people just simply finding my love and enjoyment of music about 8 -9 years ago, know am splitting from my other half who has no interest what so ever! mind you thats quite drastic really. :o/

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Bert
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 02:01 PM

I worked in Iran during The Islamic Revolution, which was interesting.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 02:59 PM

My life turned around a point in a storm beating up the coast toward Kerkyra, the first time I was ever entrusted with the operation of a ship. We had come to a point where we absolutely had to shift our course 90 degrees to st'bd to make the approach to the channel, but the sea was so high it looked possible that doing so would broach us. When we couldn't avoid the decision any longer I took over the helm and timed the turn myself, figuring it would be unfair to load the helmsman with such possibly overwhelming consequence.

In the actual event, the ship stood the test and made it into the channel with only a couple of unnerving rolls to and fro, good thing that she was. But looking back afterwards, I was amazed to realize that I had been through a personal crisis, as wlel as a marine one, and seemed to have passed that okay as well.

Just one of those memories that informs many points in your later life, like a litmus test.

A

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: boab d
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 03:16 PM

Obviously joining the army and turning my life around completley from being a waster. Going from that to being a respected member of society. And also crossing the border going into Kosovo as an ambulance commander with my crew on the day that NATO and others liberated the place, getting stoned from the so called serbs in Skopia and seeing all the cheering from the Kosovar Albanians. Being part of all of that I can say that I was there doing that instead of sitting on my arse looking for a joint or a drink it felt like i was part of a very important world event.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: NicoleC
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 03:36 PM

I lived in LA's Koreatown during the '92 riots. I saw businesses that I shopped at destroyed and burnt to the ground, and peaceful shopkeepers turned into vigilantes. I saw mobs of people, filled with individuals who would never do such things, caught up in the frenzy. Nor were our homes safe, and we knew it. Most of us just tried to lay low and stay out of the confusion.

The next day, I saw citizens of all races get together and help clean up their neighborhoods and local businesses.

And a few days later, tourists snapping photos of themselves posing with (the very tardy) National Guard troups.

With a few days, the worst of man, the best of man, and the most absurd!

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Justa Picker
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 04:27 PM

Mudcat.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 04:49 PM

One night, I was asked to open the Lutheran Church I was going to, so that the Men's Chorus of a black Baptist church could practie for a concert. When I heard the power and felt the excitement of that old black gospel music, I had to become a part of it. Like the old "domino theory" of Richard N., my whole life was changed in ways I could never have imagined.

I think many of us can remember a particular teacher who believed in us and saw our potential, even though we couldn't. All it takes sometimes is one person believing in you. The teacher for me was my seventh grade teacher, Mrs. Playfair... honest. I felt as attractive as belly button lint, and had no confidence, but she thought I was
a wonderful young man. Got me to believing that maybe I wasn't such an idiot, after all. When I went into 8th grade, I went from school Pariah to being elected to the Student Council. Thank you, Mrs. Playfair, wherever you are..

Jerry

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 05:14 PM

Well, let's see...

Reading H.G. Wells' social novels about the British lower middle class in my late teens.

Falling in love (again and again).

Learning to play the guitar.

Living at Rolling Thunder's Camp.

Having sex with someone I loved.

Seeing an Angel and having a conversation with said Angel about life.

Reading various spiritual books.

Living with various women.

Meeting a spiritual adept of a very high sort.

Acquiring and running a business.

(All of the above, but not necessarily in that order.)

As for other people, I would figure that a great many of them have had their lives profoundly changed by (1) marriage and (2) having children. I did not choose to do those things.

- LH

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 05:16 PM

Shit! How did I ever leave hearing the music of Joan Baez, Buffy Sainte-Marie, and Bob Dylan off my list????

Those 3 absolutely changed my life.

- LH

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 05:25 PM

The most important life changing event in my life occured when I was just 6 years old and contracted polio, spent 7 months in a polio ward and another 2 yeras rehabing. During this time, my mother, visited every night and read the Bible to me and taught me to pray and thru this I came to find my Lord, Jesus Christ.

My second most life changing experience was being hired by a drug rehab program in the early 70's to teach GED in the Richmond, Va. jail where there was a thearputic community set up in one of the cell blocks. I also taught at a halfway house in the middle of one of Richmond's toughest ghettoes where I was the only white kid around. I was assigned to the half way house every other weekend and spend from Friday morning to Monday night there as Staff on Duty. That 3 year emersion into the black community was something I would not trade for anything.

Bobert

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 07:20 PM

Don't recall exactly where I was or when it happened, but
DIVERTICULOSUS and COLON problems really changed my life,
not to mention diminishing eye sight, arthritis and a
few other things...

Subject: RE: Things that changed your life
From: boab d
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 07:33 PM

I missed out learning to play the guitar and reading books. The later because i never read a book until i was 21 and doing a bit of martial arts when my sensi said try this. So off i went with 1984 and that was me hooked on reading and now I'm 30 I'must have read thousands and still manage around 3 a week. My best friend Barry was the only person to threaten me physically with a baseball bat due to the fact that i was taking drugs. He is the only man who would have gotten away with it at the time but it showed that he was a true friend who was looking out for me as well as our friendship and I trully admire the man as he was looking out for both me and us. Even now he is my best friend after knowing him for 25 years.
Cheers to Barry the Fat man.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: smallpiper
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 07:52 PM

Talking to an angel and not listening properly!

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 08:06 PM

You'd have to be a real rockhead to not listen properly when an Angel is speaking to you, but I suppose anything is possible... :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 08:28 PM

Don't have to look far for evidence for that one, LH!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: mg
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 03:11 AM

I think some angels are obvious and some are more subtle. But I will answer what I thought the question was..which is what things change your life..like inventions...I still think Xerox machines are magic. I think polarfleece can change the world by keeping people warm out of old pop bottles..and you keep the people warm you don't have to burn as much fuel...I think plastics are magic...I had a garbage bag today that was so strong it could have been a shelter for a family in an earthquake disaster...glass is magic..I think we'll be seeing a lot more decentralized farming and gardening in the future and more greenhouses and more water treatment on site..I am waiting to hear more about Ginger/Segeway..I think they have only told us part of the story..there wouldn't be that much fuss about a walking scooter unless there was more to come...wind power..could use some here when it about blows the roof off..coconut oil..read up on its health benefits...sunshine...the list goes on...birth control has changed the world and will continue to do so...hemp production will change a whole lot of things for the better I think...I'd phase out tobacco subsidies and get some hemp growing...they have solar candles..you just leave them out in the sun and bring them in the house at night...skylights...we have most of what we need...mg

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: mack/misophist
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 09:42 AM

Changed? No, but a few things gave my life a direction and focus that is, perhaps, a little different. Like spending almost 6 years of my early childhood in Japan; in off base civilian housing, associating mostly with Japanese. Like spending 4 months in the late 50's at the guest of a Pakistani Air Force captain's family, near Karachi. Very few Americans have seen real poverty. I think it's important. Stuff like that.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 09:54 AM

The ability to get a legal abortion (though I had to fly to New York to get it, as it was the only state with legalized abortion at the time) made a huge difference in my life as a teenager. Had I been forced to have a child then (as opposed to my last 20s, when I started my family) I wouldn't be who I am, nor would I have the children I have now.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 10:06 AM

Listening to your childs screams, and begging you to kill her because of pain..

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 10:53 AM

I forgot to mention the week I spent in Cuba, among the most extraordinarily wonderful people. That immensely changed my life for the better. I would never even consider supporting any hostile action against Cuba after that experience.

Mary - Right on. Actually, it's ALL magic. People just don't realize that after they get used to it and take it for granted.

- LH

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 11:44 AM

Learnig to stick up for myself against an abusive partner...(I left him)

Finding like minded people

Loving and allowing myself to be loved

My Cat

Music....playing with all types of musicians

Travel

Good friends

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 12:13 PM

A stupid, simple moment:
After weeks of disputes with my employer over commissions, I asked for a sit down meeting to settle my cost formula once and for all. He had without warning deducted for three "new" cost charges and planned more.
As we sat down in the conference room, he said "We don't really have anything to talk about. I decide things here." It was as if a light switch went on. He was right. We had nothing to discuss. I resigned on the spot. I had not gone to work that day planning to quit but I walked out unemployed and absolutely certain of my next steps. I sold my apartment, moved to Maine, found work here, just bought my first house...all because he had nothing to discuss with me.
It was all so obvious and simple in that one moment. The funnhy part is that he was so angry about my walking out that his hands shook and he couldn't read my resignation letter without laying it flat on the table. He still owes me over $1000 in commissions - a small price for freedom.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: boab d
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 08:09 PM

I thought that when I posed this question it would give an insite to poeple who had been at, or had did things in a recognised state ie. being in the twin towers, Iran ,Kosovo or where ever I never thought that it would lead to people with being out side the wat that the question was intended to be, This is better by far as this is now about the people who have changed there lives around by being strong within them selves without having did something that has been on TV or the news.
Good on yae all for it and keep them coming

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 08:39 PM

SINSULL - Good for you. Good move. Your ex-boss sounds like the boss in the comic "Dilbert". Those guys can't believe it when they fail to exercise absolute control over the poor wretches who work for them.

- LH

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 09:10 PM

Her name was Margie....possibly the stongest minded woman I ever knew. She was always ready for a good time or an argument and with her I had both. She corresponded with well known people in a variety of fields and was herself a world class pianist, although she never let you know that. Anyone listening to her with any training at all knew it though.

She could push me harder and farther and into thinking patterns and thoughts that I didn't think were possible. She challenged virtually every thought I had during the short time I knew her and would make me back down if I couldn't debate it with her successfully. When I did, she gave way with good grace. She was known to be alternately both a serious minded woman and a complete "character." Her practical jokes were legendary among her many friends.

Mainly though, she exuded a love and a spirit and a zest for living I have rarely encountered in anyone else. She loved her husband, her son, her parents, her friends, and life in general, with unadulterated passion and she made those around her want to share in the passion as well. She fought a serious cancer for almost 4 years and when visitors came to see her, they were the ones who walked away feeling better! Her son came to see her in the hospital the weekend before she died and she gave him a nasty lecture on missing days in college to come home. When he left she told him, as she told all, "I'll be okay again in a few days....This is just a little setback."

When she died a piece of me died too and I knew I would probably never encounter another human being like her. It changed my life. Her name was Margery A. Patterson, she was my mother, and she died 35 years ago....today.

Spaw

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Deda
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 10:22 PM

Well, Spaw, I can totally empathize with that one. When my mom died in 1987, I went into a period of mourning that went on for years. She had a great heart and a great mind.

But the "change my life" incident that came to mind for me, aside from the indescribable gift and honor of being a mother, happened during that period of mourning. I was a late-life undergrad, taking Latin classes among other things, and I had agreed to tutor a woman who was really struggling with it. I walked up to the campus in a mood of bleak, black misery, pretty much wishing I could die. Then I started tutoring this woman, who was in her 50s and had never taken a foreign language before -- but she was going for her BA and needed to meet this requirement. Within less than ten minutes of beginning to tutor her I felt great. I was laughing and having a good time. She was also having a good time, and feeling much more hopeful. At that point I decided to be a Latin teacher. That was some thirteen years ago, and I still get a big lift from teaching Latin, especially one-on-one (I tutor college students privately). It's a weird thing to love doing, and I took an office job last year thinking I needed to earn more money. But it was a lousy fit, and I was wretched at it, and unhappy. They took pity on me and fired me in September, and now I'm tutoring again.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Nov 02 - 10:29 PM

Deda,
Haven't forgotten my promise. Look for some treasures to arrive in late December, early January.
Mary

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Charley Noble
Date: 17 Nov 02 - 10:19 AM

Amoebas and Me

I was sitting in the hospital waiting room for my follow-up physical at Camp Darvey in Livornio, northern Italy, in the summer of 1967. I and a number of other Peace Corps volunteers from East Africa were scheduled to be examined to determine whether we could be more suitably deployed to a war in Southeast Asia. I was 25 and my draft board back in Maine was aware that if I continued for another year teaching geography in Ethiopia I would inevitably become 26, a major coming of age at that time in our nation's history. However, there was a problem for my draft board, one unrelated to the merit of my current service which they had summarily dismissed six months before. I had somehow managed to contract Amoebic Dysentery and was still undergoing treatment.

I was duly ushered into another room, provided a cup and small flat stick and was instructed to produce a stool specimen which I was willing and able to do. Then there was more waiting, while they analyzed the results. Finally I was called into a doctor's office and the young man there smiled and told me I was perfectly healthy, which was a surprise to me given that I had confirmed my amoebas' vitality with the Peace Corps medical people before leaving Addis Abeba. I showed him their medical report and he decided to take another look. This time he came back looking sad and said that my amoebas could well be chronic and he would defer me for another six months.

Now I still don't know if he actually found any amoebas in the sample but I am grateful that he was willing to take a second look. And I'd love to thank him but I haven't got a clue what his name is.

The subsequent events added the comic relief that is important to recovery after stressful episodes. I reunited with my other Peace Corps Volunteers and while we were waiting for bus transport back to the barracks, this big American car pulls up and the lady inside asks us if we want a lift back to the base and we all piled in. As she drove along she told us how pleased she was that young American boys like us were volunteering for the service, and we lost little time in dissuading her from that illusion. Well, she got all huffy and the next thing we knew we were delivered to the military police barracks where the gentlemen there were told by the Commandant's wife to take proper care of us, which they promised to do. After she spun off they delivered us back to the barracks where we'd spent the previous night. TheMP's did look somewhat embarrassed and so were some of the other folks in the barracks whom we'd been singing protests songs with the previous night. Anyway, the barracks crew snook us out that night for a compensatory night on the town, and years later I must confess that I still get occasional flashes of bar scenes and that restaurant where we were delivered an octopus nestled on top of the pasta in a pool of tomato sauce.

What joy!

Charley Noble, who lived to tell the tale

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Nov 02 - 03:27 PM

Looking into the eyes of someone who professed to love me and seeing nothing but contempt and betrayal. Mind you, he had one hand round my throat and the other upside my head at the time.... and all because he didn't agree on the amount of money I owed him... after all, I'm a girl and we all know women can't count.....

Being dumped from a great height despite all physical and verbal assurances that all was OK, then finding out the other woman had moved in a week before.

Finding out that I'm not going mad and there really IS a problem with my health.....


Meeting someone and knowing instantly that that person is going to be a best friend. In my case it's happened a couple of times, both at work, a bloke and another girl. He's one of natures' last gentlemen, and she's has so much in common with me it's unbelievable.

LTS

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: GUEST,bbc at work
Date: 18 Nov 02 - 12:21 PM

Becoming a Christian, living in South Korea for a year, having children, weathering an 8-year divorce that I didn't choose, Mudcat. Life throws a lot at us that we don't choose, but we always choose how we respond. I like the person my experiences have made me!

best,

bbc

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 18 Nov 02 - 02:50 PM

The man that I was married to for a number of years was not affectionate at all and was definately not interested in making love. I was at a dance two years ago and I met a man, who very gently took me in his arms and kissed me. It was the sweetest kiss. Eventually, I left my unhappy home, moved away and started a new life. I later found out that my husband was indeed a very affectionate man... just not with me. My life is so much better now, my children are happy and yes, once in a blue moon I still get a kiss from the man who "woke' me up!

LL

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Nov 02 - 10:56 PM

I have posted a couple of times before about taking two trips to Mississippi in 1964, for civil rights rights marches and such....but the 'moment' that prepared me for that was several years earlier, during the Little Rock school crisis....I was watching TV when they showed film of an elderly black man being harassed..(pushing, kicking...etc.) His 'offense' was walking too close to the school and getting noticed by a group of white students!

That image is still with me..

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 02 - 11:21 PM

Frankly, Mudcat has changed me too. I have never had so much useful contact with such a variety of people, and it has increased my tolerance for those who think differently than I do and opened me up to whole new possibilities. Thanks to all of you for that.

If you get offended by something someone says (and everybody does) you've just got to hang in there and find out more about what's really going on with them. At least that's what I've found, in virtually every case like that which I've encountered.

- LH

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 19 Nov 02 - 12:35 AM

Reading Quentin Crisp's books "The Naked Civil Servant" and "How to Become a Virgin". I realized (in a sort of blinding flash) that I could stop beating myself up for not being ambitious, and that there can be a LOT of fun in living the life of an under achiever.

Mudcat...It's helped me learn SO much about human behaviour (mine as well as others') that I can hardly believe it.

Cheers

Rick

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Trevor
Date: 19 Nov 02 - 09:37 AM

Spending a month in Scotland when I was sixteen beiing supervised by the hardest man I ever met - an ex-SAS sergeant. He introduced me to the outdoors, showed me how to identify flowers, signs of fauna and encouraged a fascination with the world that has informed the rest of my life.

Sailing a boat in a storm off Corsica, knowing for absolute certain that I was going to die (literally, not just as a figure of speech or a bit of hyperbole to add flourish to a story). I didn't.

Realising too late that I was losing my best friend and a big chunk of my kids.

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 02 - 10:26 AM

Spaw:

You still got it, man.


Now I think I know a bit better where ya got it from!! :>)

Thanks for that one.

A

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 02 - 11:29 AM

Exactly what I was thinking...

- LH

Subject: RE: things that change your life
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Nov 02 - 12:06 PM

Spaw,

I don't know you but I have to say that was perhaps one of the most touching things I have ever read. I was reading the posts and thinking of my Mom. How she insisted (in a nice way) that music had to be a part of my life at a very young age. How true it has been. It has been not only my greatest joy but my best friend through so many times. Helped me through things I thought I'd never survive. It's the great escape from reality for me either playing or listening.

A fellow once asked me how Id managed to make so many friends over the years. I had to think about it but not for long. My long term friends have all been met through sharing a song in some manner.

Like you I have the greatest admiration for my Mom. It hasn't been that long since we lost her. She was fortunate to live a long full life and my thoughts of her are warm and happy ones always brought on by a melody of something she played or something she'd always request I do. It was a great gift she gave me and one she understood all of her life. We should all be so blessed.

Touched