BS: Punch line, redneck joke

Subject: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: GUEST,Uncle Bud
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 09:18 PM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

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I can't remember the last part of this Redneck story.

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: GUEST,uncle bud
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 09:20 PM

My Mistake. Hit the wrong key.

Two Rednecks sitting in bar looking out window
across the road is a pasture with sheep. One is caught in the fence with her rear in the air.

WHATS THE REST. HELP PLEASE. BUD

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 10:07 PM

"Lookee yonder, Cletus"

"Yup."

"Better clear our sked-yools."

"Yup."

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: khandu
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 10:12 PM

As a bone-fide Mississippi Redneck, I take great umbrage at that! I am incensed! Riled up! Aggervated! Pee-owed!

We do not say "sked-yools"! We say "sked-jools"!

An indignant khandu

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 10:17 PM

Ah stan' c'rectid.

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: khandu
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 10:30 PM

Upon further thought, I have reached the peak of indignation! I demand a Pubic apology! Are you not ashamed of yourselves? You, with such blather as this, grind the stereotypical Redneck deeper into the psyche of the impressionable! How do you expect Rednecks to rise above this erroneous image when you and your ilk continually propagate this twaddle? I am dismayed that this filth has carried over into the New Millennium. And people like you are the ones that do it!

We, and I do speak on the behalf of my Fellow Rednecks, we do not see sheep as sexual objects! They are quite docile and timid. This does not stir the Redneck libido at all. We like a little "spunk", a little "razzamatazz". Sheep have none of this! They are dull!

Now, goats, they have a lot of spunk and razzamatazz. They are actually quite sexy creatures.

Shame on y'all, Uncle Bud and Cluin! Repent!!

khandu

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 10:59 PM

They may not start with a lot of spunk but they sure finish with lots thanks to all y'all.

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Banjer
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 11:09 PM

I don't know about all that but I am right proud to live in a part of the country where "all y'all" is the plural of "y'all"!

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 11:55 PM

And where folk can stand up in a public forum and loudly demand a "Pubic apology".

Oh, what a time to be alive.

;D

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: rangeroger
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:31 AM

You could always come to Southeastern Idaho, home of the United States Sheep Experiment Station.

As the facility is just south of the Montana/Idaho border,I expect it is just a cover for those Montana boys with the bumper stickers on their pickups that say "So Many Sheep. So little time". I figure they keep the experiment station in Idaho to fool everybody, but we know better.

rrfromNorthIdaho

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 05:46 AM

There was a young gaucho called Bruno,
Who said ******* is one thing I do Know,
A woman is Fine, a sheep is Devine,
But a llama is numero uno.

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Banjer
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 06:36 AM

United States Sheep Experiment Station.....

Could they be experimenting with an alternative to cloning?
Or maybe getting firsthand data for some of thos sheepskin condoms?
Enquiring minds wanna know!

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Gareth
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 08:16 AM

Well, over here the punchline is :-

"How long till it's dark ?"

Gareth - Wales - Where men are men, and sheep are frightened !

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: ballpienhammer
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 09:55 AM

y'all got somethin' agin chickens?!

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Cllr
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:09 PM

Q)How does a redneck find sheep in long grass?











A)Lovely

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:15 PM

I'm not telling you what I've got against chickens.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:50 PM

Sure, Cllr. But if we're gonna transfer all the Scottish sheep jokes to Rednecks, we'll probably have to lose the "Hey MacLeod! Get offa ma ewe!" one

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Jim Krause
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 03:20 PM

An Englishman on holiday in Scotland walked into the village pub, sat down at the bar and ordered himself a pint of the local's finest. While nursing his drink, a voice at the back of the room calls out to him "Hey you, come over here. I've a story to tell you." So, the Englishman picks up his pint and goes over the the man's table.

"Look out that window laddie and tell me what do ye see?"

The Englishman looks out the window and says "I see a stone bridge accross that stream there."

"Aye. An' 'twas I who was the architect o' that bridge. An' 'twas I who directed the quarrying o' the stone. I practically built that bridge wi' me own twa hands. But do they call me Angus the Bridge Builder? No." And Angus sits silent for a moment, until the Englishman starts to get up.

Angus then grabs the Englishman by the arm and says "An' laddie, look out that window again an' tell me what ye see over there."

And the Englishman looks and says "Why it looks like the church."

"Aye," says Angus. "An' 'twas I who was the architect o' that kirk. An' 'twas I who directed the quarrying o' the stone. I practically built that kirk wi' me own twa hands. But do they call me Angus the Kirk Builder? No. But ye shag one goat...."   
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: leprechaun
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 04:19 PM

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Somebody has to know this.

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Gareth
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 06:09 PM

Sure - Leprechaun - Yes average Scots sheep can hear the sound of a Zipper at 500 yards. But buttons - now they are silent !!

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: leprechaun
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:49 AM

Thank you Gareth.

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 11:58 AM

The best place for a sheep is the edge of a cliff. It will back into you with some force!

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: GUEST,Bardford
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:44 PM

The way I heard it: An Englishman is giving a Scotsman a ride home from the pub. The car rounds a corner and the headlights reveal a sheep stuck in the fence. "Stop the car! Stop the car!" yells the Scot. He jumps out, enjoys some ovine pleasure, comes back to the car. "Right, your turn," says he to the driver. The English fellow gets out, walks over, and sticks his head in the fence.

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:52 PM

I don't think I've ever seen khandu so animated...

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 12:26 PM

I heard it as: "Montana, where men are men and sheep are nervous."

bumper sticker spotted in the San Francisco bay area back in 1968: "Hippies are living proof that Cowboys Screw Sheep"

and my favorite song in this vein:

"I Like A Moose"

and this from a stand-up comedian in a Wells Street (Chicago) bistro back in the early 60's:

"My brother studied Animal Husbandry at the University of Wisconsin...
















until they caught him at it."

CB

Subject: RE: BS: Punch line, redneck joke
From: Jeep man
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 08:19 PM

When I was young there was talk about calves and sheep beeing "Stump Broke", draw your own pictures.

Correct answer;, Man, look at that, I wish that were Cindy Crawford!

Billy Bub's reply, " I just wish it was dark. Jeep