Eggs and Sessions

Subject: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 02:42 PM

Advice required please. How does one deal with an egg in a session? Not the useful sort of egg that can be fried, boiled or poached. This type is the sort that gets shaken, most frequently out of time, and at a volume that is just sufficient to put musicians off their timing. I had thought that a 4lb lump hammer was an idea, but my good friend (who shall remain nameless) advises this is a touch on the crude side. He thought that a 1.5lb engineers ball pein hammer would suffice. Any better ideas?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 03:09 PM

nameless good friend now recommends, 1. scrammbling, 2. superglueing to the table or possibly making the unnamed egg shaker an offer he can't refuse ie. death by banjo.
many blessings on you ced2.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 03:16 PM

I have been "accompanied" by egg on a rousing version I did of James Taylor's "Close Your Eyes".

I sympathize.

The 4lb hammer sounds about right.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 05:07 PM

Yeah John but on the player not the egg.
Peace and goodwill to all, Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: RangerSteve
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 06:18 PM

Hammers are nice, but how much more satisfying would it be if you just put on a pair of heavy boots, military or engineer, and stomped on it?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Declan
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 11:19 AM

The traditional method is to hit the egg on the top hard with a tea-spoon until the shell breaks into small fragments and then use a knife to remove the top.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 11:42 AM

LOL

:@)

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 12:13 PM

I was once accompanied on "Aunt Clara" by a female chorus (the Claranettes?) with Slinkies.

Sigh.

Eggs are no worse than out-of-rhythm handclappers (by far the most common), "listeners" who bring tambourines (fer-pete's-sake) to a session, and the occasional clue-less bodhran player who thumps along merrily to a different beat.

My image is of Tom stomping over, grabbing the tambourine and breaking it across his knee, but I don't think he actually DID that. (Wanted to.)

Is education an option?

Linn

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: chip a
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 12:30 PM

Sometimes they keep the beat just fine. If not overly loud, I don't mind at all. A young spoons (wooden) player shows up at a couple of local jams. I'm always happy to see him. He's very good and tends to pull stragglers back onto the beat. I heard a clawhammer banjo picker with an egg in his right hand as he played. This guy was a good banjo picker and he made the egg work just fine.
If the egg person is off the beat though, I think the best remedy is to kill him/her and hang the body outside as a subtle warning to others.

:-),
Chip

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Noreen
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 12:33 PM

'Listener' in a session with a fried egg on his head.
ced2:       "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
'Listener': "I tried it with my shaky egg but it kept rolling off"
(Well, it is the season for cracker humour?)

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 12:36 PM

Its christmas - perhaps you could buy the owner a new (quieter) egg?? (this may not sound like it, but it is a serious thought).

Kris

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 12:39 PM

AND - another thing.....
did you know that you can buy a set of THREE shaky eggs in a tube - which gives you triple the volume!!!!!!!!!!

:@)

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: WyoWoman
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 12:40 PM

You think YOU got troubles? We have a guy who persists in bringing an entire CONGA drum to our community jams. This wouldn't be terribly awful, on certain songs and in certain ways, if he could actually, like, find the beat.

HowEVer, this is a community jam and the purpose is to encourage people to participate in music, so ... nobody tells him not to bring the damned drum. I have, however, motioned for him to be quiet a few times, or slapped loudly on my thigh (resisted urge to slap loudly on his very head) to get him to hear the beat.

I agree with Chip though that subtle egg-playing or various other rhythm instruments can be nice -- depending on the sort of music the jam is doing. And this truly is a matter of education. Hell, I took a tambourine to MY first jam a few years back -- my only previous experience with group music was rock jams and bands many years back and that was perfectly appropriate. I took a clue, however, from the group and didn't make that mistake again. Unfortunately, some people don't seem to be able to take cues from their surroundings and eliminate behaviors that don't work, don't fit or are just completely frickin' annoying.

The Lord puts these people in our jams to teach us patience, generosity and humility.

Thank you,
Sister Wyo

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dead Horse
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 02:20 PM

Arrange for a cooking pot atop a primus stove to be placed prominently within the music circle.
Attach a sign reading *Eggs to be placed in here*.
If said percussionist doesn't get the message, THEN use violence.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 08:39 PM

How about just taking him aside and diplomatically explaining the problem to him? Ask him to lower the volume and listen carefully for the beat.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 08:50 PM

I favour returning the said egg to the place from whence it came, but seeing as how we don't have a plastic chicken, your orifices will have to do.

LTS

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 01:03 AM

Maybe I have just been lucky, but the egg shakers, bohdran players and other percussionists that I've met at sessions seem to be blessed with both good timing and tact. If they are playing too loud, it's probably to drown out my scratchy fiddle playing. The biggest problem I have is sitting to the left of a squeeze-box and having the bass notes drowning out the rest of the players but I don't complain about it. I just try to sit somewhere else.

Technical perfection may be admirable but can't always be achieved. How are you to learn if you are not encouraged to try and join in. Enthusiasm should be moulded, not squashed.

The world looks a better place if you don't look down your nose at it.


Doug C

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 04:33 AM

Thanks for some useful advice folks... I had to say I had contemplated returning the egg via an orifice but I am afraid that it would lead to mass fainting amongst the more squeamish. Primus & cooking pot... I like that. However there must be more still to come. Is it possible to insert superglue into the egg... didn't the CIA once devise a way of inserting something nasty via a needle that could not be felt? I believe their problem was they could not get near their intended victim (Castro), we have solved that problem thanks to the need for the egg player to get beer at regular intervals... and the egg is left unprotected!!! Anyone got a tame skewer?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: shankmac
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 04:55 AM

We have fortnightly sessions in the lounge of a local pub and the landlord thought he would give a helping hand to encourage rythmically challanged people by making up his own eggs and giving them out to everone who does not have an instrument. He used those little plastic photographic film containers filled with dried peas/lentils. 30 eggs sustaining 25 different beats makes it tricky trying to remember the second verse of any song or even why you want to continue living.

Happy sessions

Mac


P.S. Anyone out there coming to the Scottish Borders for NewYear?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dead Horse
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 05:27 AM

Scottish Borders. Presumably Scotch Eggs supplied?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 05:31 AM

DeadHorse: sod the eggs, I'll just have the Scotch!

Nigel

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: mooman
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 05:35 AM

Anybody hitting Letty's egg with a 4lb hammer will have to contend with the Wrath of Moo...

moo

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 05:36 AM

Shankmac that sounds like a classic!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 08:20 AM

knowing the aforementiond egg shaker I realised what a mistake it would be to superglue the egg to the table, he would just pick up the table with the egg and shake harder, the truth is it all started with
a christmas present of a plastic shaky tangerine, this was substituted for a real one several times so he invested in a shaky egg. Everybody loves him really, well those of us who are not sane any more.

Peace and love, Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: C-flat
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 08:29 AM

Perhaps if you bought the person in question an egg timer for xmas?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dead Horse
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 08:48 PM

Egg timer. Vitronome?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 10:46 PM

I have a shaky peach.

But when I play it, it's only done in the BEST POSSIBLE TASTE!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 11:48 PM

I have a shaky peach...AND and shaky lime! And a reasonable sense of rhythm.
Merry Christmas
JennieG

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 03:33 AM

I've just got the shakes in general this morning. I think its an instrumentcalled the DTs.
Happy christmas to all, Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 04:42 AM

Give him or her a hard-boiled egg to use instead.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 05:48 AM

shaky banana conjours up all sorts of images - I was too polite to make reference to them when my girlfriend was handed one (I can be polite!)

ced2

One crude but effective way is to record the session and demonstrate the effect to the perpetrator. Particularly if you get emphasis on the egg. It is a "holding up a mirror" wheeze.   How you get to the point of telling the person I don't know though. P'raps on the pretext of wanting the tune and replaying in session and point out you can't hear it for the sizzling egg - hopefully the others will comment. Good luck.

PS how are you on bodhrans? NOW, how are you on red ones?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: GUEST,LadyNancy
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 08:17 AM

I was subjected to the "egg'n'player" last evening. Why is it that it makes ME doubt MY rhythm...!!**??!!

Oh those people who want to take part and go out to buy a drum to bang and then proceed to bang it loudly, without rhythm, without sympathy or empathy... I guess looking at it that way, an egg is quite harmless - unless glued to a table per se.

Wait 'til I get my hands on the person or people who provided the original tangerine to this egg-shaker....

I LOVE a well-played percussion instrument - bodhran (whatever colour or size), kettle drum, snare drum, any other drum or even egg, and I admire beyond all a percussion player who can vary volume, tone, pitch etc. but I would gladly be the perpetrator of the hammer, size 12 boot, JCB, super-glue or other silencing method for the players who do not/cannot demonstrate such dexterity in playing and manners.....

LadyNancy

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Allan Dennehy
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 06:42 AM

Hardboil the bastard! No, not the egg, just the idjit who'se shakin it.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 06:59 AM

Shaky eggs, or "performers" with no ear/rythmn/voice - in this case it's all the same, a person completely oblivious that their contribution is not wanted nor is it appreciated.

In the case that I refer to (& JennyO knows it), I have contemplated a piece of 4x4 thumped repeatedly on the offending head.

sandra (who sings along with the chorus cos she knows she can't hold a tune on her own)

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 02:42 PM

4x4 what? Timber, Bright Drawn Mild Steel, Concrete( if this was reinforced?).... nice thought but have you actually tried out this remedy? I have visions of a high rate of success but it could be a touch messy.
On another note (or lack of it in the case of a shaken egg) where did the shaking eggs originate... they weren't an Australian revenge for rabbits were they?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 07:42 PM

it was probably something similar to the way bohdrans used to be advertised, ' want to join a session and play Irish music, then get a bohdran and join in ', just like that. No musical knowledge whatsoever
required. They are most likely secretly manufactured by anti folk music people or as we know them cuntry and western people.
Cheers, Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Dec 02 - 06:53 AM

I didn't know that 4x4 could come in any other material - thanks foor the ideas. Seriously but, I don't think any type/weight of 4x4 would be noticed on that offending head.

I know nothing about shaky eggs, except several good groups I know use them on occasion (use them well & properly, that is)

I think the Akubra is the Australian revenge against the rabbit - many rabbit skins go into making the felt used in these hats.

sandra

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: leprechaun
Date: 29 Dec 02 - 03:15 AM

If that egg is more than six months old, the hammer idea might need some reconsideration.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 30 Dec 02 - 10:14 PM

I've got a shakey lemon.

Sal

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 10:54 AM

Sandra, just spent the last 5 days in close proximity to that person - aaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhh!!!!!

Seeya

Jenny

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 04:04 AM

Even a good percussist can be a pain in the A if you want to vary the tempo - the point being that the percussion tends to define the tempo - so while they think they are accompanying, sometimes they end up in the driving seat

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 06:17 AM

Recently my absolute favourite singer/songwriter was nearly crossed off my list of friends when he picked up a drum & joined a very loud pair of musos (hurdy-gurdy & pipes) in a very confined, echoey space!! I had to leave the room & if Jenny does carry out her plan of booking the pair, I might take a sickie that night. No doubt it will be a great evening cos they are fantastic musos, but ...!!

I hope you're feeling better now, JennyO

sandra

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 08:43 AM

I must admit that I prefer shaky egg players to bad but enthusiastic bodhran players - but then Essex Girl usually has several (shaky eggs) with her.

One of the most amusing sights that I've seen was a fellow who played a red coloured one. He held it in his hand with his fingers wrapped round it and just the pointed end sticking out. The action was a forward and back movement in his lap. He had a far-away look on his face and we were all wondering if he'd reach ejaculation !

I suppose one solution would be to spray paint some real eggs and discreetly substitute them for the plastic ones. The player would then try so hard to get some sound out of them that they would probably break them - even if they didn't they'd make wonderful scrambled egg afterwards !

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Naemanson
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 12:19 PM

What is your solution for the fiddle or guitar that's out of tune but is still playing along? You did say this was a session. That means, to me, that you want people to play along. By playing in a session you are opening yourself to musicians of all instrument qualities and musical abilities. So you should suck it up and move on.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 04:28 PM

Person with big hammer needed! Banjomad will direct!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 04:31 PM

Large Hammer needed...banjomad will supply directions.. my head is still rattling

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dipsodeb
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 07:31 PM

I think shaky eggs can be perfectly fine,as can all percussion instruments they often add life to a tune. Of course this is only true, if played well.
I often feel that some folkies are too far up their rears, in terms of always sounding so perfect and often forget that everyone starts somewhere and often it's with a percussion instrument. What happened to encouraging people?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Hrothgar
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 03:18 AM

Who was that, Sandra?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: GUEST,Davetnova
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 04:36 AM

Like whiskey and guiness the complex and convoluted rythyms introduced to folk music from the world music scene by the shaky egg are an aquired taste, requiring a sophisticated musical palate. Education is the key.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 05:16 AM

Shaky eggs have turned me into a criminal, I confess I stole THE shaky egg from the person who plays it in our sunday afternoon session
when he accidently left it behind, Ifully intended to return the following week but I forgot, he/she turned up with another one anyway.
Guilt now prevents me from owning up.
The say cofession is good for the soul, I think I will live the rest of my life wracked with guilt and shame/
Humbly, Dave