Punch the Horse May Thread

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 31 May 03 - 09:05 AM

S'fire. Stop getting sunburnt on your belly! It's not good for you at all you know. You'll end up with a withered & wrinkly belly while the rest of you is still young & vibrant.Oh & never have any kids either 'cos they have the same effect.
I have just been sent home from work 'cos I have a poorly knee, my knees have always looked poorly which is why no-one ever sees them, but this knee feels poorly & I'm wandering about like some arthritic duck. But this unfortunate occurence means that we shall be attending the Sun sess on sun. SP do you want a lift? We will be going early though 'cos we want to eat prior to the proceedings. PTH we thoroughly enjoyed! hearing you in Nellies on Thurs, we also thoroughly enjoyed SP's company, lots of bear9hoi (is that right?) & lots of vodka. They sell Black Death in Durty Nellies, good innit!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 31 May 03 - 06:50 AM

Yo,Raggy.

I will be going to the bay next Friday -teatime ish - meet up with you for sume bear and song mayhap? Only staying the one night, alas.

What hostelry wil you be gracing with your presence?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 30 May 03 - 06:55 PM

No.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 30 May 03 - 05:57 PM

is that Arthur Mo,Arthur Crown or Arthur Nower?

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 03 - 04:27 PM

And why?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 30 May 03 - 02:00 PM

where is he?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 May 03 - 12:06 PM

Who is Arthur?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:45 AM

Lord bless us and save us Axeman!!!!!

This thread has put more years on me than I care to mention, what with all this swanking and posing about the size of your hampton.

Now you have the temerity to tell me (and the world) that you do not recognise your own guitar playing? And Horror of Horrors!! the voice -awful rendition or no- of the coooooooooooooolist singer around,the fellow you have accompanied for nearly five years!!!!!!

You should have been drubbing the royallties out of the man,not raising your eyebrows at my performance!!

For the love of Arthur,get a grip man!!!.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:25 AM

Did he win?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:05 AM

Who? Frankie?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 30 May 03 - 10:04 AM

I want to be his wife!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 May 03 - 09:37 AM

Anyone having a bet today? I reckon Mr Dettori will win the 3.15 at Newmarket on Barolo.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 30 May 03 - 08:33 AM

i have an sunburnt belly,and it looks really ridiulous, jst thort i would tell ya!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 May 03 - 06:59 AM

I was in there last week at lunchtime when a particularly awful rendition of The Fields of Athenry came on. I cringed at Chris, the gaffer, and he smiled back and confirmed that this was indeed Punch The Horse! Oh well....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 30 May 03 - 06:33 AM

Fringe Festival = unofficial and usually free bit.

I may be attending the Bhouys session (probably but the sky might fall on my head - you never know!)

Please Note Bhouys and Girls of Punch The Horse we (K & C and me) were in Durty Nellies for most of yesterday quaffing and otherwise enjoying worsels, and were you aware that the said pub play a lot of your music (every other track in fact) are you getting royalties??????

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 May 03 - 05:43 AM

This is getting silly....reckon it's time for the June edition...?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 30 May 03 - 05:29 AM

What is a 'Fringe' festival?

Thankyou for that Smallpiper...i wasn't too sure on what the nicest way to say what i wanted was... SP AND KJ are you attending deanies sess. on sun? I will be sat in the corner equiped with a revision guide!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 30 May 03 - 02:20 AM

Hi Bill Shatner I liked the one with the tribbles. Now tribble raising would be more interesting than horse-raising. By the way I have got a life in fact several lives & enjoy each one to the full.....so there.Pete I don't think this prize-giving for No.300 is fair 'cos you have to be at your computer waiting for 299 instead of carousing the afternoon away like smallpiper, my darling husband & us! did yesterday. By the way did you know that the last bus back to Barton on a weekday is 21.25!!! Had a great laugh SP, must do it again.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:46 PM

Hello SM the forum Lurker - I really enjoyed your company today and so did KJ. I hope that we may meet again after your time in the Roman provence
xx

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:41 PM

Dear Bill
Our darling little Sweetfire is under age so I would be very very very carefull of being suggestive in any way, shape or form. Tend to your steak and be quiet.

Darling Sweetfire

There is Pete the Deanies session on sunday and after that I'm sure Roger is having a sesh before the Beverley Fringe Festival kicks off (of which the Beverley and East yorks festival is mearly a side how). Ho Hum.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 29 May 03 - 04:34 PM

We don't need no steenking horse raisers. All the 'osses round here are high enough already, thanks to Oakley's Patent Horse Elevators, available in quantity at your local discount hardware store. Some people misleading call them bricks.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 29 May 03 - 12:43 PM

You're on the right track, Sweetfire. Interesting name. Do you submit photos? Maybe we could get together and compare notes on equine breeding. I'll see what's coming up on my itinerary for next year in the UK. Ah well, off to the back porch. There's a steak I have to attend to...

Bill

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 May 03 - 12:33 PM

Well actually Bill, i already do 'raise' horses.....so now what do you suggest i do...???

I know there is a festival in Beverly at the end of this month, but is there something happening in Bev in June? If so what?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 29 May 03 - 12:26 PM

A mutual friend directed me to this forum and suggested that I read this thread. Well, I plowed my way through a fair bit of it. All I can say is you people are seriously in need of something to do. I suggest raising horses. For God's sake GET A LIFE before it's too late!!!

And check out my TekWar series. It's great. So is my recent autobiography...it's called "Get A Life". Like I said...

Your friend,

Bill Shatner

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 May 03 - 12:22 PM

well, it was dark...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 11:20 AM

And Raggy takes the prize!!!! But as he's not here on Sunday (are ya?) he'll have to wait till Festival for it.

And S'fire, don't tell me you've met him already...???

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:35 AM

Incidently pete...is this twin the good one or the bad one outta the family? Cos i don't think beverly could handle a naughtier version of you....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:31 AM

Here you go 300 it is

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:30 AM

My Mum wonders that too and I'm forty e...........................!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:13 AM

...well when ever i am this site my mum always wonders why i close the door...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:57 AM

Looking back on this, it's a good job I know what we're on about. This is starting to look pornographic!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:55 AM

And who's gonna be the winner for a second spot prize on Sunday....?

I believe I have been treated to the Muff myself, but as I'm usually a bit tiddly at Sessions, I suspect I wouldn't have appreciated it fully. Perhaps Maggie may treat me to a repeat on Sunday? I shall stay sober in order to keep My Enormous Penis in good order.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:19 AM

Pete ........that might make 350 !!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:18 AM

Haven't we all sampled Maggies Beautiful muff? I know I have and jolly good is was too!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 08:54 AM

Little problem at Goxhill.....?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 29 May 03 - 08:50 AM

I am sure that regular attendees of the Sunday Session have already experienced Maggie's Beautiful Muff!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 29 May 03 - 07:03 AM

Oh Pete, are you absolutely sure it's ready for public scrutiny? Wouldn't it be best just to keep it between ourselves for a while longer?

You wouldn't want to risk public ridicule by premature exposure...

♥ Noreen

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 May 03 - 06:31 AM

What he took them outside and soundly thrashed them???????

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 29 May 03 - 06:17 AM

You may be right Raggy, only the most delicate & precise instruments should be used for the pruning process & of course one has to be careful that one does not damage too many brain cells. Hormone rooting powder could be of use but Pete probably has too many hormones floating round his body anyway!
I must admit smallpiper I did take Petes announcement in it's literal sense. As a theme for a song it has its merits but I think it may well clash with the Yugoslavian female shot-putters chorus 'My Beautiful Moustache'. As for Oakley I think he is rather preoccupied with his plumbing. By the way Smallpiper the little problem at Goxhill was superbly handled by Greg who used diversionary techniques!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:50 AM

Sadly I cannot contest this one, however I believe pruning should only be carried out by the gentle application of Molars Grips and incisors anyway. The type of pruning you describe KJ would lead to permanent damage

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:40 AM

No KJ you've got it wrong (well okay you've got it right but not in Pete's case). It's next years UK entry for the Eurovision song contest! Working along the lines that if Fr Ted and Fr Dougle can do it with "My Lovely Horse" then "My enormous penis" should be a wow right accross europe.

Sometimes the borer between this reality and other realities becomes just a little bit fuzzy especially in Pete's case and I'm not even going to mention Oakly!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:21 AM

PS. If aforementioned enormous penis is to be used for rutting purposes it must be strengthened by the judicious use of elastomeric polymer modified binders. Do you really think we'll reach 300?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:12 AM

My dear Pete I really don't think airing an enormous penis is a good idea. Enormous peni flourish best when they are kept in dark moist conditions & given a regular mulching with added tackifier.Having reached the correct proportions the penis should then be maintained by rigorous pruning. Of course proper pruning techniques should be employed, many enormous peni have been weakened or deformed by incorrect pruning techniques.The skilled pruner first removes all dead, broken, diseased or problem areas by cutting them at the point of origin. Removal of this material opens the canopy sufficiently so that no further pruning is necessary.
Enormous peni can also be trained to develop the required shape but that is for another day. I repeat DO NOT AIR this wonderful organ it will only cause major damage & may result in irreversible withering!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 04:42 AM

I think this sunday may see the first public airing of "My Enormous Penis", should anybody be interested.

There, that ought to do it, Raggy.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 04:18 AM

The Gay Cavalier thing did't seem to take off, Raggy. Nice try though!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 28 May 03 - 09:07 PM

heloo, i will go as well on sunday if i wake up, i havent been for ages, i think i only ben twice since they mooved it from neillies.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 May 03 - 05:10 PM

A Rutter is also an awld name for a collection of sea charts. They have an impressive collection in Hull Uni Library called Rutters of the German Sea. Yawn!

Oh please don't tell me they've made it to Goxhill again!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 28 May 03 - 03:07 PM

Help!!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 28 May 03 - 03:02 PM

Goxhill tonight with resident familial accordion and fiddle combo. See you there.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 28 May 03 - 02:02 PM

Of course Maggie and I will attend Sunday's combined Session and Prizegiving.