BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 09 May 03 - 11:11 AM

Peter T.,

How was "grownup" defined by those who did the study? Just curious.

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 03 - 10:16 AM

I got told off for scooting the trolleys around the supermarket a couple of weeks ago.... guess I'm in the 'still waiting' category!

I think as long as you continue to take a child-like (not childish) attitude and view of life, then growing up is optional. Sometimes it's pleasant to be innocent and expectant, rather than the battered and cynical humans we usually are.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 03 - 10:15 AM

I have always had a childish streak as well, but these days it seems to disappoint people! :>)

Another way of describing it is that you begin to see yourself as parent to the world rather than merely an effect of it, as a child is.

A

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Burke
Date: 09 May 03 - 10:07 AM

I like Amos' remark: "Obviously the term "grown-up" is a child's term, reflecting the way children look at the world. It defines those who are responsible for the events in the world, the people running the show."

I remember being eager to grow-up. I often hear children described by their parents as "13 going on 18" or the like.

What I also recall is not really feeling like I was a grown-up well beyond my college graduation & being self supporting. I think I probably hit a sense of it in my mid 20's, about the time I bought a set of dishes for myself instead of using my parents' incomplete old ones. But I'll admit to currently reading a book with the title "How to be an Adult" and getting some very good insight in the very first chapter. Obviously I would not have bought it if I didn't have a sense of not quite being there.

So to change the question a little. When did you become a grownup? Or are you still waiting?

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Tig
Date: 09 May 03 - 10:06 AM

Remember - Growing old is inevitable
          Growing UP is optional

Personally I think everyone classes in BOTH groups sometimes. I've known 5 year olds who are more grown up than some adults at times!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:58 AM

A child is by nature a liability in day to day operations, meaning that they require support. They make up for it and are actually treasures and joys. But it is the nature of things that they take more than they contribute, generally.

Sure, some people relish having victims in order to show how generous and strong they are. I wasn't addressing the question of charity cases or disabled people. The disabled people I have known who were true adults managed to make themselves productive and contributing anyway. They cared to add value to the business of llife.

There are plenty of opportunities in the world to demonstrate compassion and the other virtues you mention without adding to the list, I would suggest. It is not "adult" in my view to go about becoming destitute or broken, in order to provide others an opportunity for generosity.

A.

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: *daylia*
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:49 AM

Amos, while I agree with most of what you said, I wonder about this --

" The minimum degree, probably, is not being a liability to the community you participate in."

Are children or disabled-but-fully-grown people really 'liabilities' to the community? That depends on the attitude of the one making the judgement, I suppose.

People who are not physically/financially self-supporting could be seen as liabilities, or as vital living opportunities through which the rest of the community can express and develop such qualities as compassion, love, responsibility, generosity and service. I don't think this is a really a liability, but an asset to any community!

daylia

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Midchuck
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:48 AM

61 1/2 and still waiting to find out.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:22 AM

Obviously the term "grown-up" is a child's term, reflecting the way children look at the world. It defines those who are responsible for the events in the world, the people running the show.

Adulthood legally is defined by physical age. But functionally, it begins when you genuinely become responsible for your own condition -- physically and socially. That means you are acting as a conscious and responsible member of a community in some degree. The minimum degree, probably, is not being a liability to the community you participate in. Like all such values, it is a continuum, not a black and white division -- some people are more responsible in some areas than others, and most grow in responsibility throughout their lives. But the critical change point is the assumption of responsibility -- meaning owning the decisions, predicting the consequences, and stepping up to the situations of your own life.



A

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: MMario
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:02 AM

objection withdrawn.

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Forum Lurker
Date: 09 May 03 - 08:58 AM

I would agree with Art, understanding that self-supporting means the ability and willingness, not necessarily the act, to satisfy MMario's point.

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: MMario
Date: 09 May 03 - 08:50 AM

Art -

you're saying that a spouse who (hopefully with the consent and support of their partner) stays at home to raise a family is automatically not an adult?

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 May 03 - 08:47 AM

Here's a start:

1. self-supporting
2. able to think for themselves (whether you agree with their opinions or not)
3. able to make decisions and follow through on them
4. understand and observe the rights of others

Subject: RE: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: MMario
Date: 09 May 03 - 08:44 AM

I'm not sure; most people I know are just children in full sized bodies.

Subject: BS: When do you become a grownup? (Study)
From: Peter T.
Date: 09 May 03 - 08:42 AM

I see a new study says that most Americans think someone is grownup when they reach 26. Personally, I think people are grownup when they stop growing up vertically, which is about 18. The real question is: when does someone become an adult? The sad truth is that, in my life, I have met only one or two people who qualify as adults. All the rest are children in grownup bodies. What would your criteria be?
yours, Peter T.