BS: Father's Day memory

Subject: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 02:23 PM

Since the 'Cat was out of comission yesterday, I couldn't post this. Missed my dad more than EVER yesterday. He died over four years ago and he was pretty ill. I was a daddy's girl!

I used to sit and watch him do everything when I was little, paint the house, woodworking, build walls etc. I watched my mom too, but his jobs were far more interesting I thought. I used to sit in the bathroom and watch him shave. He used shave cream and a razor and to this day I can show anyone how he did it. We had to demonstrate doing something in speech class in high school one day. I hadn't prepared anything, but I was called on. After momentarily freaking out, I went to the front of the class and immitated my dad shaving!

Also, he sang me to sleep at night singing Leadbelly's Good Night Irene. Starting me down this long, slippery slope of folksinging!

Miss you, dad.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Wesley S
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 02:36 PM

Thanks for the memory Walking Eagle.

I remember when I was dating my dad gave me two good pieces of advise. Always make sure your date gets in the front door and always make sure you have enough money to afford the two most expensive dinners in the resturant that you take a date to. Even if you have to call ahead.

He taught me a lot of other things too but those always pop into my head. I never got to see him "at work" because of security clearances { he was in aerospace } - but I've always regreted that I never acted on my urge to get a Martin guitar kit and build it with him. He was a whiz at woodwork. One of my proudest possesions is a chest of drawers he made back when he was in junior high school.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 03:12 PM

When I was five years old I had my tonsils out, and staying in the hospital at that age is frightening. Of course, mom and dad were there when I came out of the ether and held me when I threw up (yes, ether -- it was a long time ago). Finally, after a couple of either centuries or days, they took me home.

Two weeks later, my father, a carpenter, was fatally injured at work. He lingered in the hospital a couple of days before dying. At the time I was 5, my brothers 4 and 2, and my sister 3 months to the day.

I don't have Father's Day memories.

What I do have is what we learned about him from my mother, who lived another 31 years. Apparently he single-handedly won WWII, invented penicillin, flew the world nonstop in a glider, and beat everything Pecos Bill, Stormalong, Feibold Feiboldson, and Paul Bunyan ever even thought of doing. Of course, he was a modest man and let others take the credit for everything he did.

His wife was modest, too. She had no real accomplishments (she said) apart from raising four kids. Without a husband. Without much income. And managed to get them all through their BAs, saw one get an MS, and another do all but complete a graduate degree. To have three sons go off to war at the same time, and all three come back intact. To put up with three sons and a daughter. And to do all of this while painting the house, fixing the car, and strangling three wildcats and two rattlesnakes.

I don't have memories of Father's Day. I do have some memories of a big man, and more of a very capable woman. Moreover, I have their genes and I have, I hope, done them proud.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 03:20 PM

Thanks for a wonderful memory W.E..........Awhile back we were talking of railroads and I posted the following about my Dad, a railroad man to the very core. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him even these 30 years later............

My Dad was an engineman on the Pennsylvania Railroad for the whole of his adult working life. He started out of high school on the section gang and went into engine service a couple of years later. He was in a Railway Batallion during WWII and came back to the Pennsy as soon as it was over. The PRR was early in converting to Diesels but Dad fired the last of the steamers. Advancement on the roads was based on seniority and although he had qualified as an engineer he stayed as a fireman for many years until he could hold a regular slot on the board. So when the last of M1's and K4's made their final runs on the PanHandle Division, Dad fired those engines. I remember years later in about 1962 when the last of the steamers were cut up for scrap in the Columbus Yards, it was about as close as I ever came to seeing him cry at that point in my life. He was an engineer for the rest of his life and even with the Diesels, an engineer still had a reputation of some sort and the Ol' Man was known as a "smooth rider"....a term used by those in the caboose to describe a good engineer who could stop and start, take in or run out slack as needed, without disturbing their rest or their pinochle game.

Railroaders back then were still a special breed who loved what they did. 30 years later, one of the most poignant memories I have of my Dad is from a time when he was quite ill within only a few weeks of his death. He had me take him to the Yards so he could pick up some things out of his locker. We cleaned it out and packed up his "Grip" for the final time. But on the way out we sort of had to "detour" through an engine shop and though I protested, he went that way. Walking through the shops, we stopped at an idling GP9 and he slowly started to climb to the cab. Again, I protested that this was way too much effort that he shouldn't be wasting, but he looked down at me and said, "Just one last time." So we climbed up and sat in the cab for awhile as his hands touched the throttle, air brakes,dynamic brake, and all of those things that had been his world for so many years..........and if I was ever closer to him, I don't know when it would have been.

The rails were close at hand for people to see and hear and feel and they grew with us. For those who long for older and simpler times, the sound, feel, and the smell of a great steamer are all that is needed to trigger visions of a different life in a different world, far removed from this current time and place. And today as on many other days, I miss my Dad......W.J. "Unk" Patterson, Engineman, Pennsylvania Railroad. I'm sorry too he never knew my kids and sorrier still that they will never know him.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 04:30 PM

These are great memories guys! Your kids can get to know their relatives if you tell them the stories. Family stories are some of the best history anyone can pass on to their progeny. Granted, it is a bit slanted, but who cares? Please folks, if you don't learn anything else from this thread, become the family story teller. Even the bad times. I'm starting to write down things like that. Particularly Cherokee legends from one side of the family and home WWII stories from the German side of the family. How they were persecuted and had their phones tapped, and their workplace infiltrated.

Keep the memories coming folks, but most of all, tell them to your relatives.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Deckman
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 04:34 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 07:27 PM

Heave!

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 07:37 PM

Great thread! I am so grateful my dad is still here to talk to...his stories may be oft-repeated these days, but they are precious to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Ely
Date: 16 Jun 03 - 11:15 PM

Catspaw49, my mother's grandfather worked for the Pennsylvania Railroad for years; somewhere, we have the tickets he got for FDR's funeral train.

My dad is still very much alive and we're great friends. He used to put my brother and I to sleep at night by telling us gruesome stories; Ulysses and the Cyclops, Hinckley, Minnesota, forest fire (then he read us "the Hound of the Baskervilles"). He sang to us at bedtime and on car trips ("Jesse James", "Captain Kidd", "Joe Hill", "Goober Peas", "Just Before the Battle, Mother", "Bonnie Blue Flag", "John Brown's Body", "Battle Hymn of the Republic", "Abdul Al-Bubul Amir", and "Old Chisholm Trail" with personalized verses). Taught me to paddle a canoe, drive stick, and test an electric fence with the BACK of my hand.

Both of my parents are fun, but Dad was always the more spontaneous one. One day when he was visiting me at college in central Iowa, I took him to a park outside of town to show him a plaque that marked a section of the old Mormon Trail. He read it, thought about it for a moment, and then said, "Hey, let's go to Nauvoo and see the temple site." So, we drove over two hours to Nauvoo, Illinois, to see where there had once been a Mormon temple.

Another time, Dad developed an obsession with Larry Penn's song about Kate Shelley. We spent hours--HOURS--in an underpopulated area east of Ames, Iowa, trying to find Honey Creek. The only Honey Creek we found was a four-foot-wide stream that didn't look as if it had EVER had a trestle over it. Finally, we gave up and headed south to visit my friends in Missouri on the way home. One of said friends' father lived in Boone, Iowa, and when we told him of our adventure, he offered, "That's funny, I think there's a Kate Shelley Memorial Bridge near where my dad lives . . . " I made Dad promise not to do any more research based solely on musical references.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: GUEST,bbc at work
Date: 17 Jun 03 - 12:01 PM

My dad is still alive & I try to tell him, regularly, how much he means to me. He set me an example of responsibility, love, & commitment. He & my mom have seen me through good times & bad & have been generous w/ help & self-controlled w/ advice. One of the things I see in myself that I believe is a reflection of my dad is the ability to be an appreciative, supportive audience member. I can picture, in my mind, the look of delight on his face & his enthusiastic applause & I know that I share that commitment to support others.

I love you, Dad!

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Jun 03 - 12:18 PM

In Oz we have Father's Day in September, but as it happens, today would have been my dad's birthday. He was a lot older than my mum, and he died in 1982.

We had our differences, but there are two things that I really owe to him - musical ability and a sense of humour. That sense of humour has got me through some tough times over the years, and the music? Well without that, life would be pretty dull, and I wouldn't be posting here on Mudcat!

So here's a thought for you, dad.

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Ironmule
Date: 17 Jun 03 - 03:14 PM

When WesleyS had gone off to Fort Worth, I came from Oregon, back to Florida for a while, and worked along side Dad in the machine shop he ran after leaving Honeywell Aerospace. What I saw there as an adult, was a reinforcment of everything he'd taught me as a boy.

Do your best work whether anyone will ever see it or not. Take pride in the skills you aquire.

Don't try to be fast, speed will come with repetition as you do it good. (turned out to be good guitar playing advice by the way)

You can't do bad work fast enough to get ahead. If you're good enough, you'll stand out from the crowd and they'll bring you more work than you can do, and they'll pay you well for it.


Titanium is a contrary metal to work with, and he got a job once to make ten extrusion dies of T. The customer sent 100 blanks for the ten dies and told him he might have to send for more. It turned out to be a "Learning Experience". I think it was his 99th try that finally was an acceptable die. With additional material sent, he finally got 10 good extrusion dies built, and charged the agreed upon price, though much weekend overtime was put in. He didn't complain, whine, or quit, and in the end, the skills he aquired with Titanium led to a lot of commissions coming to the machine shop.

In this sort of diemaking, plus or minus a ten thousandth of an inch was sloppy work. Having him look over my shoulder at work was always nervewracking, but a muttered "Good Job" would make my day. ;^)

Jeff Smith

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: GUEST,Ron Olesko
Date: 17 Jun 03 - 03:30 PM

My dad passed away in 1994. I have so many memories of him, and luckily they are all good.

He worked a variety of jobs in his life, leaving his home in Pennsylvania in the early '30s to come to NYC. He worked for years as a cook in a Restaurant that was owned by the uncle of attorney Roy Cohn.   Dad had some not so nice memories of having to deliver food to Cohn during the McCarthy era.

He had a very dry sense of humor. He used to sit in the living room reading the newspaper for what seemed like hours, occasionally glancing at the TV. I remember once Debby Boone was on the TV singing "You Light Up My Life". Dad looked over the paper to glance at Debby. Her father, Pat Boone was doing TV commercials for milk around the time. He recognized her as Pat Boone's daughter and muttered "how much milk can one person drink" and went back to the reading the paper.   I guess you had to be there at the time, but his deadpan one liner still cracks me up. He had the delivery!

Ron

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jun 03 - 04:41 PM

My dad went off to live at the diametrically opposite point of the planet 20 or 30 years ago. Didn't see him go and have never missed him for a moment. There's a much better relationship between my daughter and me, but if she later retains any memories I hope she won't attach them to "Father's Day" which is a commercial gimmick of the commercial west.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: GUEST,Ron Olesko
Date: 17 Jun 03 - 04:50 PM

Guest - does that mean the east is non-commercial??????

Lighten up. It is so easy to knock "commercial". Sharing memories is truly a non-commercial idea in case you haven't noticed.

I am sorry that you had issues with your father.

Ron

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Jun 03 - 05:54 PM

It was August 1972 when I was in between my junior and senior year in high school. My dad was on vacation and had had a great week. Mom, Dad and I had spent lunchtimes up to our elbows in BLT sandwiches made with Mom's homemade bread, toasted, crisp bacon and tomatoes from our garden which I remember as the most perfect that ever existed or probably ever will. I came home with my mom from swimming to find my dad on the floor, and that was it.

I don't remember that much about him. Not specific details, anyway. I remember when I was little I spent late Sunday mornings on his lap 'reading' the comics, with the sun streaming through the big French windows. I remember 'helping' him do woodwork in his shop in the basement. I remember him teaching me to eat tomatoes straight off the vine as if they were apples and I remember how he showed me to plant seeds. Once, I went fishing with him and I caught two big (well I thought they were big) carp. One went back in the creek and the other one didn't make it. My dad buried it under a small tree and said it would help the tree grow. I remember my dad going in that very same creek with the riding lawnmower when he got out just a little too far on an overhanging bit of ground. He and the lawnmower were fine, but he lost his trust Zippo lighter. I found it a few years later while swimming. It still worked.

I guess I can still remember a few things after all. The main thing was that he loved me and I knew it, even when I was a teenager and got into arguments with him over damned near everything.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 03:21 PM

My dad was far from perfect. He and mom quarreled a lot. After many years I realised that he never wanted to be the bad guy to his children. My mom had to do that work, which wasn't fair to her at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: Jimmy C
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 03:31 PM

I have many happy memories of my dad, every day and especially on Fathers' day. He was responsible for instilling the love of music in my siblings and I, he was also a wonderful singer, so much so that the neighbours would open their windows just to listen to him. He would sing while shaving and/or making dinner on a Sunday, I can clearly recollect him singing " Nut Brown Maiden, Castle of Dromore, Carrigdun, The West's Awake and many many others. He visited me in Canada years ago and was quite proud when he was able to catch me playing and singing in a folk club. He was a whiz at history and general knowledge and his penmanship was exquisite. His greatest talent was mathematics, he could add, multiply, subtract ,divide vast amounts of figures in his head and was always correct, of course being a bookie he had lots of practice. He never once raised his hand against any of us kids but he was strict when necessary. I am named after him and though he died back in 1979 I still miss him dearly. My eyes are tearing up as I write this. Gotta go.

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:24 AM

My Father's Day memory is poignant to me because it was last Sunday, which was also my birthday. My son and grandchildren came over with hugs and kisses, gifts, cards, jokes and wine. My son gave me a Father's Day card in spite of my having told him over the years not to bother with this commercial gimmick. However, the lyric enclosed in it was far from the usual treacle, but a declaration of love that brought me to tears. When I'm dead that card will be found carefully preserved among my effects. I'm very glad that my son ignored my years of strictures about Father's day. I wouldn't have missed this one for all the world. Burl

Subject: RE: BS: Father's Day memory
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jun 03 - 10:28 AM

Ron, you're right. Russia, China, Japan etc have all been invaded with American-style values now, and I don't suppose Iraq, Afghanistan etc will be far behind.

Don't be sorry on my account, as the relationship with my dad troubles me not one bit. The point I was making was that there are surely better things to hang our memories on than artificial constructs like so-called father's day.