Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support

Subject: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:04 AM

As I have mentioned on a couple of other threads, I have been having big flatmate problems lately. These are two brothers who think they can bully me because they are two young men against one middle aged woman. One of them wrote me a nasty note a few weeks ago, DEMANDING that I put my computer in my bedroom, instead of the living room. The note sounded so threatening that I did it, because I was afraid they would move it for me and do some damage. Then they refused to pay phone bills or share out the other bills fairly. It's too long to go into here but lots of other things have happened or are not acceptable, so that I don't feel at home any more. I feel like I am under siege. This may well be their intention to make me feel this way and make me leave, and at first, I wanted to dig in and refuse to let them win.

However, I have not been happy lately. I like the house - it will be hard to leave it, but at just the right time I have had an offer too good to refuse, from a lovely person in the Sydney folk scene, to share his house. This is a person that I think of very highly, and I can afford it. I think I would be silly not to grab the chance while I can, so with lots of misgivings about moving - I have so much stuff and I HATE MOVING! - I have given my notice at the agent, and will be moving on the weekend of the 23rd & 24th this month.

I will be telling the "brothers grim" about my intentions this Sunday, and I am expecting fireworks, when they realize that when I leave I will be taking MY frig, MY washing machine, MY microwave, toaster oven, jug, toaster, saucepans etc etc, which they have been taking for granted and using.

They will then have to decide whether they want to stay or go, and if they want to stay, they will have to sign another lease and commit to staying at least another six months. The real troublemaker, the more recently arrived brother, is not on the lease at the moment. I have had to do it this way in order to get my bond back. It may not suit them to have to decide in 2 weeks, and this might make them angry, too.

Because they have got angry, shouted and waved their fists around in the past when I have tried to talk to them, I am concerned that they might get angry or spiteful enough to damage some of my belongings,(hopefully not me too). I will probably inform the local police in advance too, just in case.

So I am smuggling out some important things like musical instruments, CDs, photos, important papers and other nik naks that I value. This has not proved easy, as there is nearly always someone home, so it is very cloak and dagger, and very stressful. The adrenalin is running so high, I can feel my blood pressure rising, my stomach churning and my nerves fraying. I have major problems getting to sleep most nights, being always on edge and hyper-vigilant.

Apart from myself, the most valuable thing I own is my computer, so this Saturday, when I go and visit my son and daughter-in-law and new grandson Max, I will be taking it up there to Gosford for him to mind. Once I have moved, he can bring it back down and re-connect it. But I will be offline for 2 to 3 weeks.

So this thread is partly to let you all know why I will not be on Mudcat for a while after this Friday, but also because I feel like I need all the support I can get in the next few days. Any thoughts and good vibes and virtual hugs will be very gratefully received, and will help a lot.

While I am out of touch, I am hoping Sandra or Jennie G can post here and let you know how it is going. Once it is over, I will be able to relax for the first time in a very long time, and be able to concentrate on the important things in life, like music, and fun and gardening and festivals and music and knitting and music and poetry and friends and music and food and music and music............

Jenny (nervous but hopeful)

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Sorcha
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:17 AM

Jenny, will the police in Oz do what we call a Civil Stand-by? You get an officer to go with you and stand by to prevent mayhem while you get your things. You might need this if the option is available. Good Luck and keep your chin up.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: greg stephens
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:20 AM

Well. i dont know your circumstances Jenny, but it sounds to me as if the guy you're going to move in with could be yer man for a bit of help in this case.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:25 AM

Jenny, if you have any friends who'd be willing to help you, too, besides having police there, which I think is a VERY good idea, it would be a good idea, even just for moral support. Also, do you have to tell them in advance? If it were me and possible, I don't think I'd tell them anything until the day of with the moving van there and being loaded. Best to do it all in one fell swoop rather thwn be in such a state of nerves and concern not only for your stuff but yourself and their possible retaliations.

I am really glad that you are getting out of such a horrible situation and will be sending you lots of good thoughts, virtual hugs and thanks givings that it goes well.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Micca
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:29 AM

Jenny, go to your local Folk (or Rugby) club, ask the 3 Biggest Hairiest guys there to call in " for coffee" on the day you make the announcement and to help you move... and let the Freak brothers know you have friends, you probably wont have to say anything else.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Deckman
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:42 AM

It sounds to me like you would be very wise to not be alone there, especially when you give them the news. Could your son arrange to be there and to hang around a lot until you move? Also, could your "agent" be of assistance? Good luck, Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: kendall
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:52 AM

Keep in mind the fact that only a coward intimidates women. If you show some backbone, they may back off. But, there are two of them, so you may need help from a male friend. I wish I were there; this kind of thing brings out the "Don Quixote" in me.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 12:07 PM

I wish you were too, Cap'n!! Just show 'em yer heat and tell 'em to back off!

JennyO -- find one or more largish male friends, as mentioned above, to help with the transition.

A

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 12:11 PM

I'd talk to the cops. As Sorcha said, they may be able to offer some assistance before, during, and after the move. They may also have some very good advice on how to handle the situation.

If it were me, I'd ask the friend I'm moving in with if I could move in as soon as I told my flatmates. I'd ask my friends if they could be there for support and to help me move my stuff out of the house right before/during/after I'd told the guys. I would not give them a chance to plan anything. The official notice means you'll still pay rent for a bit, but you don't have to be physically present.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: GUEST,Take action!
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 12:23 PM

I understand that things/distances/number of mudcatters/etc etc etc are different in Australia than in the UK or USA, but come on OZ guys! (Male AND female) Where the hell are you? If this was happening in the UK there would be a queue of big brothers AND sisters at your door, and I cant think it would be any different in the US. Ok, so the fridge might be in Yorkshire for a couple of weeks and the toaster in Cheshire and you in Oxfordshire, but you would be OUT of that hell hole and looking forward to your new life!! (And probbably in a tent in a field somewhere in the English countryside attending a festival!!). JennyO, may be they are just shy and your friends,(Catters and non Catters) just need asking? Its only for a couple of weeks after all!!

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 12:30 PM

This belongs above the line with a HELP prefix, not much BS about this. IMHO.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 12:34 PM

Thankyou for all your suggestions and good thoughts. I am thinking all the time about the best things to do. I am planning for someone to be there when I tell them, and there will be quite a lot of people helping me on the day I move. It's the in between times I am concerned about. I still have to go to work, and I don't get home until a couple of hours after they do.

There is actually a fourth person living there too. When the worst brother (Eddie) moved in, he asked if his girlfriend from Indonesia could live there too. She doesn't speak English, and is just basically his slave. Now they are married. You'd think they'd want to be on their own, but I guess he thinks he is on a good thing, bludging off me. She is pretty much always there, so I can't get anything done without someone hanging around.

This is why it is no good suddenly leaving the day I tell them. I have a lot of small stuff that needs to be packed up, in the main part of the house and in the garage (we are talking about a lifetime's collection of household effects and memorabilia) and there is no way I can do that without them noticing. They'd notice stuff was disappearing straight away. It's going to be quite a challenge to get it all packed up in 2 weeks as it is. I will have to do it under their noses. There is no way out of that. So I am going to try to get friends to "drop in" as much as possible, and of course, help me pack.

Unfortunately the friends who would be most willing don't have cars and my place isn't easy to get to by public transport. They have to work during the day anyway. I only have a foam mattress to put on the floor if anyone wants to stay, but I will certainly be exploring all the possibilities. My daughter can possibly stay some nights. I feel like I need as many people around me as much as possible.

The guy I will be sharing with will be very helpful whenever he can, I am sure, but he has to work, too.

My son lives on the Central Coast, a good hour's drive away, and with the new baby, I can't be expecting him to drop in too often, but I am hoping that between them all, I won't have to spend a lot of time alone. But that still leaves some of the nights. That's when I get spooked and can't sleep. I should be sleeping now, but if I get tired enough, maybe I will get to sleep quickly before my mind starts racing.

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 12:40 PM

JennyO,
I wish I were there to help you. Meantime, get yourself and your most prized possessions out of there safely. I would not stick around after giving them the news. But I would not give them the courtesy of notice either.
If something should "happen" to your frig or dishwasher or whatever, remember they can be replaced. The loss is well worth the cost of replacing them if it means you can live safely and happily.
PM an address. A housewarming gift is in order.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 12:44 PM

I think the reason the Oz catters are not diving in yet, is that it is 2.45 am here. As I said, I should be in bed now, but I am having trouble sleeping. I'm usually a pretty late bird anyway.

I do have a lot of folkie friends in Sydney who I think will help. I have already started to ask them this week. There aren't many mudcatters, though. Sandra is already offering, and I'm sure there will be others. If a Sydney catter sees this and can help in any way, let me know.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 01:18 PM

Sorry, JennyO, forgot about the time difference, I am SURE they will come through for you in one way or annother. Good luck and sleep safe.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: *daylia*
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 01:19 PM

Jenny, I am so sorry to hear about this. You have some wonderful practical advice above which I don't think I can add to except to say DON'T HESITATE to call the police if they threaten either you or your belongings in any way. And don't be afraid to ask for physical help and support. Most people -- even relative strangers -- are only too happy to be of service to a deserving person who is really in need. What goes around comes around. Just trust your instincts and use your good judgement.

It's easier to handle situations like this with a clear head. A clear head is one effect of getting enough sleep. I just recieved my Mastery in two forms of Reiki natural healing.   Reiki always puts me right to sleep when I practice on myself, if I am really tired. I am offering to send you some Reiki energy right now if you'd like. But you need to give permission first, so let me know ok?

I've also got a couple other new and easy little "tricks" which might help you to relax, empower that strong and dynamic woman that you are, and manifest your prayers/intentions for a better place to live. If you want, I'll PM you with the links and the info.

I only wish I lived closer so I could give you some physical, instead of just "moral" support! Hang in there, and know that everything will work out in "divine right order" as long as you keep acting with integrity and stay true to yourself.

Love and blessings -- daylia

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 01:34 PM

If they ask why boxes of stuff are going out of the house tell em its going to the OP shop.   My guess is they aren't the sharpest tacks in the box oh and I'd do a moonlight flit.

Good luck

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: NicoleC
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 01:46 PM

Jenny, I second (or 4th or 5th) the motion not to tell them ahead of time. They have shown you no courtesy, so there is no reason to show them any. Cancel the lease and on the day you are going to move out have your friends show up and help you pack -- stick it all on a rental truck and LEAVE. And as the truck is leaving, mention to them that the lease expires in 3 days and they had better find another place to live. If the utilities are in your name cancel them, too, for the Day After. If you've got a cell phone, cancel the telephone service.

If you can pick a day or time when as few as possible of them will be home, so much the better. Bullies like to run in packs, and if they aren't all there is may temper their behavior. If that's not possible, I advocate an early start (like 7am) so everything gets packed up and nothing gets left behind, because you aren't going to want to go back for any reason.

There is absolutely NO reason to risk yourself, your property or your mental health doing anything for these moochers!

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 02:07 PM

Nicole summed it up.....All I'd add is , Do It Now or ASAP. Like Sinsull said, if you lose a bit in the process, it's okay. Just go do it, with a lot of folks helping, and do it all at once.....In other words, Get the hell out as soon as you can!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 02:16 PM

This will be my last post before I go to bed, and thankyou all for your thoughts and helpful suggestions.

I wish I could do it all on one day, but the amount of little fiddly stuff that has to be packed makes it physically impossible, even for an army of people. I am not giving them 2 weeks notice out of consideration for them, but because I have to start making stuff disappear some time, and I need the 2 weeks to do it in. They certainly are not very bright, but when all the books disappear off the bookshelves and most of the crockery and cookware disappears out of the kitchen, even they will realize something is up, and if I am obviously packing up and haven't told them, it might make them angrier. These are my thoughts, anyway.

I will have somebody there when I tell them, and when I see how they react, it will give me a better idea of how much I need to worry. As for the police, I could make a lot of trouble for these guys if I wanted to, but I don't see any need to resort to that at this point. If I did it now, I would really have more to worry about, and if I waited till after I was gone, it wouldn't really be necessary - it would just be revenge, and I'm not into that sort of thing. I believe people have their own karma, and they will get what they deserve, without any help from me.

Off to bed now to sleep, perchance to dream.........

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 02:18 PM

Nicole makes very good sense if that is at all possible. Do as much 'preliminary' packing as possible INSIDE your bedroom quietly, and move small valubles to a safe place.

One thing you 'might' do is get a camera and take snapshots of the areas of house and garage where your stuff is stored...just in case you need to remember/document what is there....sometimes YOU don't miss things until much later. (I lost some valuble books in a similar circumstance once)

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 02:19 PM

Exactly, Nicole and Spaw!

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Janie
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 02:23 PM

Nothing to add to the good advice all ready given. But here is a
(((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))!

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 02:32 PM

Good for you, J. It would be easy at this point to sink to their level. Do what you know is fair and right. You will have to live with yourself later. Keep us posted. Meanwhile you will be kept in a safe place in my prayers and thoughts.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Alba
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 02:46 PM

Hi Jenny. My thoughts are with you.
Best of wishes and {{{{empowering Hugs}}}}} coming your way.
May this all be in the past for you soon.
JD

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 03:13 PM

To summarize what I have gleaned above, not to claim originality:

You and sinsull are on to something here, to be taken into consideration with previous observations about bullies. You have to let them know how it is, so do it with quiet dignity. Not wanting to live there in their presence does not need to feel like cowardice or flight. Make adequate preparations for protection of property and person, knowing that property is at risk and but that only threats against person are likely. Let the cops (and leasing agent) know in advance of disclosure what your situation is, and perhaps let them know about the disclosure date. (Is it possible to have an off duty cop on stand by for disclosure evening, to make a polite appearance only if necessary? Perhaps that note about the computer will serve as independent evidence of your true situation.) Then hopefully leave the possessions there even though you are gone? Photographed, catalogued, and spirited out as feasible.

If these guys know that the cops and the leasing agent are expecting trouble from them, and your small army takes out the most prized possessions on disclosure day, you should be entirely safe and your possessions should be reasonably safe.

So sorry about scum. Good times are coming. (In my opinion you should impose on your son as much as possible here, btw.)

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 03:24 PM

Sorry to hear about your situtation Jenny. Sending you lots of hugs and love and positive energy from over here in London.

Take care

Blessings

Khatt

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: NicoleC
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 03:27 PM

Jenny, you must do what you think is right at this point, but I don't see it as revenge. They are clearly taking advantage of the idea that they are expecting you to be so much politer than they. Typical of bullies. When it comes to the utilities and such -- if they are in your name you are going to be responsible for the bills. Do you honestly expect them to suddenly start paying them?

All I am saying is don't let your desire and inclination to be a responsible and fair person allow them to make you more of a victim by using it against you. They are using you to the point you are being chased out of your home; there is no need to make it easier for them. Protect yourself so this nightmare goes away and you can make a clean break and get it all behind you.

I had to move out of one place under similar circumstances -- my housemates always had "friends" over who stole anything that wasn't nailed down. You'd be surprised how quickly a motivated crew can get a place packed up! In this case, my housemates really weren't the issue, so I left rent to the end of the month.

Whatever you decide to do, be happy about it -- you are going to go to a much better situation very soon!

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Amergin
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 03:29 PM

I'm with Spaw and Nicole...these wankers do not deserve that much notice...Jenny, if I were there now I'd go help you out...but as I'm still here...I'll give you what support I can give you....

On a side note I cannot wait to meet you when I go down under...

take care.

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Cattail
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 03:32 PM

I can't add anything to what others here have already said.

I am happy though that you are making the move, hard though it is
for you, to a much better life and environment.

Many, many, many, best wishes to you, I hope all goes well.

Cattail 0~

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Helen
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:11 PM

Hi Jenny,

I don't know what I can do from here in Newcastle. I work on Tuesdays, Wednesdays & Thursdays this week and next week, and the week after that I work on Mondays as well - although only in the early morning.

I'll PM you with my phone number and e-mail (in case you can access a computer). I wish my tough-looking, clever-talking male friend with lots of (good) motorcyclist friends still lived in Sydney but he moved to Quirindi. He is good value just on looks alone in these circumstances.

I strongly emphasis what NicoleC has said: "don't let your desire and inclination to be a responsible and fair person allow them to make you more of a victim by using it against you". Having been viciously bullied by my boss a couple of years ago and only just starting to feel back to normal again emotionally and physically I know that the hardest thing for a genuinely nice person to do is to admit that some people don't deserve common respect. Work out the timing and logistics for maximum benefit to you and to safeguard yourself and your property.

You may find that they will react differently to the news of you moving out. They may be celebrating their victory and not thinking about the loss of access to your freebie appliances. If that is the case, do the deed during their euphoric stage, as far as possible.

I'll think about who I know down there and how I can help.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
Helen

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Deckman
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:21 PM

Jenny ... Upon reflection I realized that I do know one fellow down in your neck of the woods, as we say up here. But upon further reflection, I also realize that he would rather help the two brothers than any woman! (actually, that's why he left America 20 years ago and is still down there). So, no help from me but I am thinking about you! CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 06:24 PM

Best of luck to ya Jenny!

Would that me and my mates were close enough to help... we've made difficult moves in record time before... all we need is a big enough truck, and enough cardboard boxes, and ZOOM!

We once got a woman friend out of a hostile home while he was at work one day... and I mean, we cleaned the place OUT! Washer, dryer, dishwasher, plus a ton of baby stuff and half the food... Mind you there were probably 6 or 8 of us...

I hope it goes as well as it can!

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: *daylia*
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 07:03 PM

Clinton -- so you ARE a knight in shining armour after all! My heart be still!

What you described sounds like a great idea for all strong young male enterpreneurs -- "Who ya gonna call? Jerk-BUSTERS!"

Unfortunately, you'd probably find you had very few days off though ...

daylia

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 07:09 PM

I'm no knight...

I -wanted- to take the light bulbs...

And then when Herself talked me out of that ("It was petty", she said...) I wanted to superglue the lightbulbs in...

I'm too ventictive to be a knight...

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 07:15 PM

I'd also like to side with whoever it was above that suggested that the BS prefix be removed from this thread and replaced with a "help" prefix...

It might not be music, but it certainly is NOT bs!

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: *daylia*
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 07:15 PM

Oh well. Superglueing the lights in sounds a lot better than pounding his lights out. I still say you're a knight!

So, how many knights does it take to steal a lightbulb anyway? (Jenny's asleep, so she won't mind the drift I hope ...)

Subject: RE: BS: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: kendall
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 07:59 PM

I dont know what the rules are there, but in many US states, if they have created a hostile environment where you dont feel safe, they can not hold you to a lease. In effect, they are forcing you to move. By all means, get the police in on this.

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 08:29 PM

I think it is a different "they", in this case. Love Clintons plan -- a new use for Superglue. You could superglue all the toilet seats in the up position while you're at it!! :>)


A

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: MAG
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 10:29 PM

I know it's a joke, but vandalism doesn't help. It makes you look like the jerk.

I can only second/thrid/fourth what NocoleC and others   have said. A dozen friends can move a LOTTA stuff in one day, and a Uhaul, medium size, holds a LOTTA stacked boxes. It's worth buying the professional ones as they will then be all the same size and shape, stacking more neatly. You are collecting boxes, yes?

I see no reason you couldn't haul everything out of the garage and say you are freeing up the space.

By all means have more than one witness whenever you have to interact with these people. For moral support, for documenting purposes.

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: MAG
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 10:31 PM

PS: I'm reading between the lines here and guessing these wankers get high. I assure you, people on coke or meth can get extremely violent. Take no chances.

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Helen
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:13 PM

Prawn heads in hollow curtain rods!! Yes!! Aussie revenge at its finest.

Helen

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:36 PM

Hi I'm back. I managed to get 5 hours sleep - not quite enough but not too bad. I actually fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, partly due to the late hour, but also due, I'm sure, to some help from Daylia. Whatever you did, it worked a treat, Daylia. I even woke up this morning having a pleasant dream about the house I grew up in, only it was in present time. The new people in it were very welcoming and said I could stay in it any time. Significant, eh?

I now have all my drums and instruments, photos, special objects and a few other things smuggled out to my car (locked) and covered over. Only Riana (the little Indonesian wife) is here, and she went up the road to the shops on foot, so I got the last of those things in the car just now. After I finish work this afternoon, I will be taking these things to my new place, where I've been invited for dinner and a bouzouki lesson. Does that give any of you OZ catters a clue who he is? He's very well known in the Sydney folk scene and he used to sing in a duo (so did I not long ago, but that's another long dreary story). Naemanson and Charley Noble would definitely know him too.

My folk club is on tomorrow night, and some of the people coming are willing to help me. I will find out then how many of their friends they have managed to round up. It's possible I might have a posse of the Sydney Morris Men on moving day - a sight to make even the biggest bully quail :-)

BTW, Sydney cats, I need lots of smallish cardboard boxes!

To answer some of your posts, the agent knows all the gory details, and has been very helpful. I even showed her the nasty notes, which I have kept. I will show them to the police too. When the bond comes back, I can have it all put in my account and just give them what I think is their share of it, less their share of the bills. I will be cancelling the phone and my name on the electricity and gas accounts just after I move out. I already have call control on the phone, so they have only been able to make local calls ever since we had the blow-up about the phone. I have my mobile phone, so I will always be contactable.

Helen, thanks for the PM. What you said here about the possibility that they might initially be happy I am going - that has crossed my mind. I agree that it would be good to do a lot while they are in a euphoric state, if that is the case. Unfortunately most of the activity will have to be on weekends, due to that little thing called work. Most of my friends suffer from that affliction, too. I have made a note of your numbers. I am actually printing out some of the info I need 'cos I realize after Friday I won't be able to access anything on the computer. I'm not sure how you can help either from up there, but I will keep in contact. I'll PM you my numbers.

Amergin, I hope I get a chance to meet you one day too when you come to Oz. Keep in contact.

Daylia, thanks for what you have done for me. I have also bookmarked those websites and printed out the relevant stuff.

In fact, on Friday, I think I will print out this whole thread. It makes me feel so much better just reading it. After that Sandra can tell me about it.

Clinton, I like the way you think. I still think you're a knight... Actually you hit on one of the many gross things I've had to live with. Trouble is, if I superglued the toilet seat up, it would take them a few days to discover it. Its normal state seems to be up here. Down might be better (grin). Either way I pity poor Riana, having to use it too. Maybe another tried and true method, like prawns in the curtain rods? Nah, that's no good - I need to get my bond back. Well it's fun thinking about it, anyway.

I keep thinking of a saying I heard once - "The best revenge is to survive". I don't know who said it, but it's what I'm focussing on.

Now I'm off to get a money order to send Nicole for the Mudcat Cookbook, to be sent to my new address, of course. Sorry it's taken so long to send it, Nicole, but it's hard to keep everything humming along in this kind of situation. I am looking forward to it very much.

I'll come back to this thread in about 10 hours, just before I go to bed. Thank you very much everybody. As I said to Sinsull, I'm so glad I started this thread. I knew I came to the right place for support.

Love, Jenny

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:42 PM

" most of the activity will have to be on weekends, due to that little thing called work"

Any boss worth his salt would empathise and grant a day off I'm sure...

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: bbc
Date: 05 Aug 03 - 11:54 PM

Hi, Jenny,

This whole things stinks; I'm so sorry you need to go through it! It sounds as if you are thinking, though, & getting some good advice. Even if most of us can't be there in person to help you out, you know that your Mudcat family cares. Those who are clear-headed enough can even think of some things that we, the embroiled ones, aren't up to. Breathe deeply during that time when you're away from the Internet &, if possible, check in from a library or a friend's house. The 2 weeks I was off the Internet was hard for me. You'll be in my thoughts & prayers, dear. And it sounds as if things can only improve!

love,

Barbara

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Helen
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:27 AM

Jenny,

That's the beauty of prawns in the curtain rods. It takes a few days for the smell to truly set in, so you would probably get the bond back before then.

Just joking!!

Prawns in the hubcaps of their cars might work better?

Then again, the invasion of the Morris Dancers could be the best revenge of all. Scary! *g*

Helen

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Hrothgar
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:33 AM

You're a week too early for me, Jen. I'll be coming down to Maitland for the Ball on 30 August, and I could really ruin that weekend helping you.

Peace.

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 05:55 AM

Add me to the "wish I was there" list. My thoughts and prayers will be.

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Helen
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 08:54 AM

So Hrothgar, you are travelling to the place of my birth. A pilgrimage, perhaps?? *g*

Helen

Subject: RE: Help: A difficult move-JennyO needs support
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Aug 03 - 09:39 AM

This is what I love about Mudcat - it's a community of folks who care & have so many useful ideas.

I'll be helping Jenny as much as I can, but I'm one of the workers without a car, tho I will be taking a day off the Friday before the big move. I can't give her any help on the Saturday as my folk club meets that night.

For some time we have been planning & trying to work out a likely crew (the Morris men was an inspired idea). I hate confronting anyone & admire Jenny's strength & the way she has stayed in such an uncomfortable situation.
   

sandra