Amusing One-Liners

Subject: Amusing One-Liners
From: Arbuthnot
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:19 PM

There's a line in a Blind Lemon Jefferson song that really breaks me up - "I asked my baby for fifty cents, she said there ain't a John in the yard".
For the benefit of most GB readers, the implication is that the singer's girlfriend is a whore, who cannot supply the fifty cents because she has no customers.
I'm wondering how many other songs have an amusing line with such a condensed meaning?

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:44 PM

Rolling Stones, "Honky Tonk Women".

"She blew my nose, and then she blew my mind".

Murray

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: Leadfingers
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:56 PM

A real Grabber line from Robb Johnson's 'Dont Say Goodbye' isnt at all humerous but knocked me sideways== When they're sweeping up bits of the night that got broken and washing the moon away.

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: GUEST,reggie miles
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 08:55 AM

I couldn't help myself and included, "Gave you my ring and you gave me the finger", to finish off the last verse of one of my new compositions, "Another Lover".

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: Turlough
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 09:31 AM

Hm, maybe M.John Hurt:

"His stick of candy don't melt away
It just gets better, so the ladies say"

I think it's really cool that a guy who could have been my grandfather sings stuff like this...

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 09:54 AM

Richard Goldman's song 'The Good Years':

"The only good years that we had, were the tyres on the car"

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: Mudlark
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 12:37 PM

One of my favorite blues lines, wish I could remember who sang it:

I hear the telephone ringing...sounds like a looong DIStance call...

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 12:58 PM

Bob Dylan:

"they asked for some collateral, and I pulled down my pants"

"I saw you makin' love to him...you forgot to close the garage door"

"you think he loves you for your money, but I know what he really loves you for...it's your brand new leopard skin pillbox hat!"

"the sweet, pretty things are in bed now, of course, the city fathers, they're trying to endorse the reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse...but the town has no need to be nervous"

- LH

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: CraigS
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 04:14 PM

Hey, this is getting good!

That was Muddy Waters with the long distance call - but how about

I kissed her lips, she crossed her legs and broke my glasses (Bill Zorn)?

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: Dharmabum
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 08:20 PM

I met a pretty little gypsy girl
In a fortune tellin' place,
You know she read my mind
Then slapped me 'cross my face.

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: GUEST,Himself
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 10:15 PM

I liked the phrase from Vin Garbut
       "It's hard to be joyful and jobless as well
\       It's hard to see heaven when you're going through hell"
                              Robin

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: s&r
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 04:57 AM

The Bovril's with the gravy and the Marmite's with the jam (McGrath of Harlow)

That sums it all up...

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 05:25 AM

From one of Mike Harding's monologues in which some falls from the top of Blackpool Tower and lands in an Icecream Cart:

The Icecream man, was an Italian
And he sold no more icecream that day.

Not really a one liner I guess.

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 11:21 AM

Father Rapers!! I mean Father rapers sittin' there beside me on the group W bench!!
Arlo Guthrie.

Giok

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: harpgirl
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 01:35 PM

..."I need a little sugar in my bowl...I need a little hot dog in my roll"...

Subject: RE: Amusing One-Liners
From: Barbara
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 02:59 PM

This is more than one line, but check out the whole song,
Wonderful double entendres. .I Want My Money Back sung by Saffire.


You got me in hot water and hung me out to dry
You took me to the cleaners, you rinsed me in the fire
Your fast spinning action and wrinkle free lies
Left a bleached out lovin' that's no longer my size

Blessings,
Barbara