BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins

Subject: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: kendall
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 08:52 AM

I met with Dr. Tufano at Johns-Hopkins on Monday just after the Getaway. He gave me good news and bad news.

The jist of what he said was, there is no sign of anything to worry about as far as a return of the cancer. (Four doctors told me originally that this was the type that doesn't spread) That's the good news.
The bad news, the voice I once had is gone, probably forever, and I have to get used to it. This is depressing to me in the extreme. I see no point in going to NOMAD, so,...damn,

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 09:01 AM

But, Kendall, now that the old voice has gone, the new voice should be perfect fir singin' the blues so tune that gitfiddle down to open G and pull out yer bottleneck... See, there *is* a silver lining in them dark clouds...

Sorry to have missed you at the Getaway. Rita asked me last year to come up and lead a blues jam but I was puttin' on a mini-festival in Leesburg this past weekend...

Ran into another Maine'r who knows of ya' but fir the life of me can't think who it was... At least this one didn't have you kilt off in no car crash, like Ani Clark had...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 09:27 AM

Kendall

Your glass is definitely not half empty - keep on singing, there are zillions of songs out there you haven't sung yet.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Janie
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 09:44 AM

So Kendall-- Now you have a different voice--but you are still the same person with the same great talents--the same sensibility and sense of humor. The same great storyteller with a great sense of timing and delivery. And you can still sing--but now it is different. The voice is different. What you can sing, how long or loud you can sing--all very different. What is not NOT different is that you are a wonderful, skillful, accomplished entertainer who has delighted audiences for many years, and can continue to do so--if you choose.

When I spoke with my mother after the Getaway she asked, "Was that story teller from Maine there? Annie gave us one of his CD's awhile back and we have really enjoyed it. He sure can tell a good story!"

You will note she said not a word about your singing. (*sorry*)

I note that you led 2 very well attended workshops at the Getaway--and you DID NOT disappoint! You CAN still entertain. And more importantly, you are a teacher and mentor to so many people--an icon.
Have you any idea how sad and disappointed many of us would have been if you had decided not to come to the Getaway because your voice wasn't "up to it?"

You are beloved by so many of us, you old curmudgeon. Now get your butt on over to NOMAD!

XXOO

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Peg
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 09:52 AM

aw, quit yer whining! Don't you sing a song about that? Five dollars please! :)

Seriously, I know this may be depressing news, but, things change. I had a friend who had a promising career as a classical singer. She got vocal nodes and could not sing for several years. When she finally got her voice back, it was very different. No more opera or classical for her. But she could still sing show tunes, etc. She adjusted, even though the realization her "old voice" was gone forever was difficult to take.

You were never known as a crooner, but as a folk singer and humorist. Carry on with what you do best. Many of us have much to learn from you...I know I already have. Lonesome Robin is now in my repertoire, thanks to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 09:55 AM

Geeze, skipper -- this is no time to feel sorry for yerself!! It's more like time to get your butt in gear and spread the Good Stuff as only you can do. And it's you, not your voice, that makes the difference!!

Chin up, sir. Look what van Ronk and Zimmerman accomplished with arguably thrid-rate voices...

A

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Allan C.
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 10:00 AM

Janie said it all so well that I have nothing to add but my thanks for all you have given us so far and my encouragement for you to carry on.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 10:04 AM

You're alive. I suppose that counts for something. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 10:04 AM

What they all said, Cap'n. I envy both your voices, from Lights along the shore to the Blue plate specials.
Think yourself lucky you never had my voice- never been any damn good, and I never let it stop me singing!

RtS
(Chutzpah no substitute for talent!)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 10:17 AM

Perhaps it is merely a doorway to something new. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 10:19 AM

Kendall, just carry on, take it easy and relax, perhaps your voice will be different from what it was, but I'm sure that you'll still be able to carry on singing for a long time yet.

I was lucky enough to hear the late Stan Hugill in the early 60s when he still had full power in his singing voice - wow - he'd have been heard over a full gale. A few years later his voice had diminished considerably, but it was probably from this point onwards that most people heard him. He still had so much to contribute, as singer, speaker, writer, painter etc right up to his death.

I'm lucky enough that my voice is still basically intact (although I'm sure that I couldn't hit a top tenor B these days) but I will be sad when it really starts to go. Still about 45 years ago it was sad to lose my treble voice - it was at least another 5 years before I really came to terms with the new one.

Hang in there - once you've been a singer and learnt the skills, you'll always have that edge.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 10:35 AM

Kendall, please allow me ask to cast your mind back a bit.
What did you do around puberty when your voice changed?
Lament the loss of your Vienna choir-boy soprano?
Curse the anatomical design that gave you a deeper adult baritone?
Nah.
I'll bet you went out and sang and spoke with your different voice.
Of course, I'm just guessing here....
Looking forward to your next CD.


Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Homeless
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 11:04 AM

Fuck it, kendall. Forget about singing, concentrate on sailing.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Alba
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 11:55 AM

Kendall if you think you aren't going to Nomad...THINK AGAIN...or this here wild Woman will come down from the Backwoods of Maine and take you screaming and kicking to the Nomad!!! So what ya gonna do about that eh?
I am so glad to hear the good news you received.
I am also sure that you have many many more songs in you, maybe the voice will be different but you are and always will be a wonderful Musician with a whole load of knowledge to share. Don't be mean with it..:>)
maybe look at it as a new direction...YOU CAN DO IT...damn it you beat the disease didn't you!
Thinking of you, with the Pickup keys at the ready:>)
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: GUEST,bbc at work
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 12:08 PM

Kendall, I hope you're listening. People don't want to lose you. Don't get stubborn on us. Use what you have; it will be plenty! I've made my reservation for NOMAD & expect to see you there!

best,

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: kendall
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 12:14 PM

You all just don't understand. It's not a matter of having a different voice, it's a matter of having almost NO voice. But, I sure do appreciate the support you all give.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Janie
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 12:49 PM

Ah Kendall,

Probably we don't understand. And you are entitled to hurt and grieve--it is a very real loss, and the news that it is more or less permanent must be heartbreaking. But I wonder, do you wish you had not gone to the Getaway? I hope not, because YOU would have been so sorely missed.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 01:05 PM

Janie and Peg have said it all but please don't take up show tunes.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 01:41 PM

Seamus:

The aul stud's attention was probably not on singing at the time -- more likely on caterwauling of a different sort altogether!

Skipper, looks like I spoke hastily as usual. Sorry -- we're rooting for ya and please get someone to film this forthcoming abduction by Alba. I want pictures.

And negatives!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: GUEST,Big Mick in Toronto
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 02:09 PM

Jesus Keeeriste, you old bastard, your voice wasn't that good to begin with. I got to tell you that if I wanted those kinds of voices, I listened to Marum and Fielding!!! But when I wanted to learn something about how to turn a phrase, and interpret a lyric, and get a laugh along the way, I put yours on. Cut the shit, you ain't quittin', you are just retoolin'.

The thought of not seeing you at these gatherings, or not having your wit and wisdom is too much to contemplate, my friend.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: DonMeixner
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 02:14 PM

Kendall,

I have learned to play guitar again twice now. I am not the guitarist I was after the first injury and I am not the guitarist I became before the second injury. But I still play and still sing.

There is a new voice there to be used. Find it and tell me a new story about fishing off the sunklen ledges or sing a new song about the pines on Little Island.

Don

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: DougR
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 02:21 PM

I can understand why you are depressed over the news, Kendall, but as so many others have already urged you to do ...keep telling the stories and singing the songs!

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: KathWestra
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 02:44 PM

Kendall,
You'd better be at NOMAD! It won't be worth that long drive from DC if you're not there to give us a hug at the other end. And what everybody else said, too. You are loved and what you have to offer is valuable and needed. Now keep sharing it, pretty please. Let US decide if it's worth listening to. XO Kathy

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Tinker
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 02:49 PM

Kendall Morse it's too damn far for me to go up to Maine and whoop your butt, but I sure as heck will do it here. I've got footage of you two years ago (doing things you'd rather forget) and footage from this year. You need to start paying more attention to how that audience is recieving you in the here and now. Your timing and dry delivery are so damn perfect that you can watch the people around you start to tense with anticipation as you tell the story.

I taped you and Mick during the Sr. Primative story and you are a key part of what makes the story and the footage sucessful. You are training a new generation of tale tellers ( God Bless us all). And you are more than "earning your keep" at folk functions. It's a very rare talent. One that is harder to find than singers, don't you dare take your toys and go hide. You need to accept the new mantle of Emeritis Mentor and Master and let us keep loving you.

Love you even when I want to slap you,

Kathy

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 03:38 PM

Kendall,

Like Bill Clinton "I feel your pain". Albeit I'm a lot more serious about it than Bill ever was.

An old mentor of mine once said there are four ways to respond when you get bad news. 1. Let it roll over you like a bulldozer and flatten you to the ground. 2. Pretend it isn't there (this is the psychotic response). 3. Fight against it with all your might. 4. Take it as it is and make it yours by making as much lemonade from the lemon as you can.

I remain constantly amazed by Nan, the country western singer from the Getaway. Due to some accident, Nan became incapable of playing guitar right-handed. So she worked really hard and learned to play left-handed. I don't know how good a guitarist she used to be, but today she accompanies herself very well. She also likes to watch people hand her their right-handed guitar when she hasn't brought hers (Alaska Mike fell for that one this week).

So mope around awhile, you are suffering a loss I wish on no singer. And when you've cried enough (inside your head I would guess), decide what you want to do about this bad news.

You might want to seek a second opinion and ask them precisely what they think you could do if you worked on it. Are you stuck with what you have or are there ways to improve it.

I love you, you old salt.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: lamarca
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 03:47 PM

Look, Kendall - KathW, George and I can't be your stunt doubles for the rest of your gigs, so you'll just have to trade on your good looks, excellent guitar picking and fantastic storytelling abilities. Tell stories, do instrumental numbers, take it easy with your voice, let a mike (that's mike, not Mick) do the work and keep entertaining folks the way you have been for all these years past.

One thing I noticed when you came down for your concert this past spring - your voice sounded fine when you were just hangin' out and swapping songs and stories with us friends in the living room, but it got strained and gravelly when you got on stage. A guy with your years of experience ought not have "performance anxiety"...especially when you've satisfied so many customers... (I'd better quit before I dig myself into too deep a gutter...)

Come to NOMAD, Kendall, hang out, tell a couple Maine Bum stories in the Hobo workshop - we love you, and want you there!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 03:48 PM

So? You're alive, aintcha?

My wife had a excellent voice (or so she says). Then surgery for thyroid cancer left her, at 17, with one functioning vocal cord and scarred throat. Her voice is low and husky (and she was once rejected for a job because her voice was too sexy) and she can't yell. Of course, she can peel the paint off a barn with what she says, but that's another story.

Anyway, she still sings, and she don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks.

Sing. Sing to please yourself, if no one else. Those who don't like it can go piss up a rope...or send 'em out to Idaho to see me.

And yeah, you better go to NOMAD.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 04:38 PM

When my stepmother was a fairly young woman, she had a stroke. She couldn't speak at all for about a year, and lost most of the use of her right hand. So.... she learned to write with her left hand.

Her handwriting is beautiful, and now she won't shut up. :-)

Doctors don't know everything. I think they are sometimes grim because they don't want anyone to be disappointed.

When a door closes, look for a window. If you can't find a window, get an axe and cut your own damn door. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: kendall
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 04:44 PM

Lamarca, believe me, I do not suffer from "performance anxiety" Way too much experience behind me. I'm scheduled for a song workshop, but without a voice, what the hell am I supposed to do?

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 04:56 PM

Hell, Kendall, tell 'em what the problem is. If they can't understand that, you don't want anything to do with 'em anyway.

Then teach the workshop. Man, you've got the experience to teach it, but RIGHT NOW your voice (you say) is gone. So share the experience.

And IS your voice gone? Or is it that when you sing you hear yourself in your head and you say, "That ain't me!" Or you hear a recording and you say, "I sound like, like, Elton John! (or worse)." You're hearing current self against your old self, and things change.

How do you know that your singing voice is gone for good anyway? That's why I say that RIGHT NOW your voice is, according to you, gone.

Can you talk? Then teach the class.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 05:27 PM

Kendalldarlin'...remember how this community helped you before? Well, here's some more of the good thoughts, healing energy, lit candles, soulful prayers, and whathaveyou to help you through this next bit of challenge. Wallow a little bit and take the time to grieve, but as others have said, you are still breathing and you are KENDALL MORSE, a beloved icon and friend and we'd love it if you'd keep on sharing with us and others in any way and as you are able.

BTW, be sure to go outside each day and swallow some sunshine. Just throw your head back, open wide, and swaller it down! I know it can be hard to find sunshine up thah-uh, but do the best you can to find it in that frozen northland.:-) Just a few *gulps* can be helpful, for real!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Dharmabum
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 05:54 PM

Well Kendall,I suppose I could blow some smoke up yer ass, & tell you ya gotta think positive thoughts & everything's gonna be alright.
But we both know that ain't how you're feeling right now.

So,get pissed off,get mad,kick a hole in the f**king wall! Do whatever you gotta do,feel whatever you gotta feel,for as long as it takes!
It's the only way to get on to the next step,whatever that may be.

I guess I went through the whole spectrum of emotions when I came to the realization that my M.S. had taken me from a pretty good guitar picker,to a fairly moderate strummer.
Sometimes I'm still pretty pissed about it,but I've also discovered that playing the mandolin seems to be very coducive to a weak left arm.Go figure.

Make the most of what you've got left,& when life throws lemons at you..............Duck!


DB.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 06:11 PM

Kendall, I understand. Same as Darma said. Depending on how much you want to know and work on.......talk to Alice and get info from the Wake Forest Speech center. Keep asking questions and making contacts with people that might be able to help. There is probably some knowledge that can help, whether it is strengthening muscles or whatever. I'm not qualified to know, nor am I in touch with people who know these things. I would start with Alice and with speech therapists.

Keep us informed......since I've lost my ability to sing, even to hum, I'm interested in anything you learn.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 06:16 PM

Kendall, can you laugh?

That's got healing power! Lots of it!

I'm not trying to "buck you up" or say "git right back on that horse." So don't take it wrong. I know how sad my wife gets sometimes, even now, years and years and years and years later, and I'm sure glad she won't be reading that!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Jeri
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 07:28 PM

I think I'm with Dharmabum.
You lost something, or a big part of something, that was very important to you. Your voice may not be the quality of yours that I and others care about most, but right now, it's what you care about most. Once you've pursued every possible course of action that might help, there's no reason not to grieve. In the meantime, there's no reason not to get frustrated and mad.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 07:31 PM

so, Kendall, forgive my directness... you want ideas, or you want us to just agree with you how depressing it is? We can do that, but it's harder work than coming up with ideas, if you get my drift.

We KNOW how that news has hit you, and any one of us would drive for days to push the magic button that makes it all better!!

There's really little to say, except what my 'ol Daddy used to tell us kids when something went wrong..."It'll feel better when it quits hurtin'.."

There's a place for you, even if it ain't the place you had planned....and you never know just how things will go.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: kendall
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 07:34 PM

If it was just the voice thing, I might be able to deal with it, but, there is something else that I can't share. Guess I need to wallow for a while.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 07:42 PM

Django Reinhardt never grew back those fingers he lost in the fire, and he didn't play the same way either.

And I bet he felt pretty pissed off about that too. But...

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 07:56 PM

"...but, there is something else that I can't share..."

oh...ok. Tsk....do what you need to.

Murphy's Law # 237.41 "Whatever hits the fan is not distributed equally"

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: LadyJean
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 10:44 PM

I love John Roberts and Tony Barrand, but they aren't a pair of Pavarottis.
Edith Piaf became a legend with a truly lousy voice.

Having said all this, Have you talked to a voice teacher? an expert in the field. I think Pete Seeger had some problems with is voice, and saw a coach. I know because a friend of mine saw the same coach, after being injured in a fire.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Kim C
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 10:50 PM

Love you Kendall. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 11:24 PM

{{{{{{{{{Kendall}}}}}}}}

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: harpgirl
Date: 22 Oct 03 - 11:44 PM

...oh dear...too much bad news for me this week...now something has happened to one of your dear friends, I guess! I'm sorry Kendall...harpgirl

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 04:50 AM

Kendall - just to elaborate on my last statement in my previous posting - although several other people have said almost the same thing. I can think of many singers with good voices, but who haven't (and probably never will have) that special imagination and skill to get that little bit extra out of a song which makes it a magical experience. I've never heard you sing, but from reading many of your postings and other ones about you, I know that you have it. I often think that Mike Heron summed it up in the Hedgehog Song:

Oh you know all the words,
And you sung all the notes,
But you never quite learned the song

You have "learned" many songs - and that will always come over.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: gnu
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 04:59 AM

Keep 'er firm to the weather Cappy. You'll make shore, sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 08:16 AM

Look Kendall, I don't know what your other problems are so if you need to wallow around for awhile I guess I understand. But the voice bit? Dharma, Mary, and quite a few others have covered that for you.   Geeziz man, your voice NOW is probably better than mine anyway!!! The thing really is, you have a lot of other talents so use them with whatever voice you have left.

Think about Art Thieme. I know Art would love to have back all the things that have been taken from him, but there is a lot of Art that he still shares and I am always glad to warm myself in what he has to offer.

Health problems and age limit us all and the realization of just how much we have lost is hard to take. Your entire mental image of yourself is suddenly out of kilter. That is one helluva' an adjustment......I know that from personal experience. Doo what you have to do to make it because a part of who you were is still there and it's now your job to make the most of it in whatever way you can.

Plus, I can still kick your saggy old ass I think......so get over it. If you feel like you've been eat by a bear and shit over a cliff, it's okay......Just don't let the fall kill you.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 08:24 AM

Kendall - you can be more impressive with a one or two line joke then many performers I've seen who spend half an hour or more on stage. YOu are entitled to your loss, your frustrations, and your wallowing - but PLEASE don't withdraw what you have from the rest of us...

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: kendall
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:09 AM

Like they say, if you are looking for sympathy, it's in the dictionary between shit and syphillis. Believe me, I am not looking for sympathy. There are others who have lost a lot more than I. Harpgirl, it is not the loss of a friend, even that I could deal with.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 09:18 AM

Good thing you're not looking for sympathy, Kendall, 'cause you're not getting any that I can see. Support, care, love, lots of stuff, but there seems to be a shortage of sympathy and no pity at all.

I won't guess at the other problem, because there are so many possibilities. But it looks to me like everyone wants you to stick around, doing what you do, because of who you are and what you have, and mostly because they like you.o

I've found myself singing "Mary Ellen Carter" when things look rocky, at least in my head.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall and Johns-Hopkins
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Oct 03 - 10:59 AM

Kendall-

I find myself thinking of Utah Phillips who was thinking a few years back of giving up performing after arthritis began affecting his fingers and he felt he could no longer play guitar well enough. I think it was Kate Wolf who brought him back to reality by gently reminding him that it was not his guitar playing that people were that interested in.

Stay the course,
Charley Noble