BS: sudden death of pet

Subject: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Peg
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:13 PM

In a very bad year where I have lost some human loved ones suddenly and horribly, I find it is very difficult at the moment to cope with the loss of my oldest and dearest animal friend, Ziggy the cat, who died suddenly on Monday morning.

I would appreciate thoughts from others who have grieved lost pets. I have lost them before, I grew up with animals, but this one had a specal bond with me. He greeted me at the door each day, slept in my bed each night, and strange as it may seem is the closest thing I have ever had to a long-term partner (and certainly the only one who I have loved and who has loved me so purely and unconditionally).

Ziggy was 16. He was a great wanderer and outdoor cat for many years, until he was hit by a car and almost lost his life five years ago. He could not move his back legs for a month, and when it happened the vets all recommended euthanasia. But after five days in intensive care and lots of prayer he recovered almost fully!   Since then I have let him outside supervised, and always made sure to live in apartments with access to a yard or a porch so he could go outside as often as possible.

His sudden death this week follows recent deterioration in his condition. In the last three weeks or so he lost weight and had trouble with his back legs failing. I took to sleeping on a mattress on the floor so he could sleep somewhere warm with me at night, because he could not jump onto the other bed or the sofa and had been sleeping in odd, cold places on the floor. I took him to the vet last Thursday and just got his blood test results the day he died. They indicated liver problems and anemia, which together might have meant lymphoma, or possibly hepatitis or other liver failng condition. Maybe it is best in the long run this happened when it did, as he may have had to face chemotherapy or other treatments. But I am so sad he died alone and feel I might have prevented it. He was missing all night (did not come sleep with me as he had been) and the next morning I could not find him anywhere in the apartment, and I knew I had not opened the front or back doors to the porches that night. I did so that morning, as usual, to let the cats out and hoping that would bring Ziggy out from wherever he was hiding. A little while later, unable to focus on much else, I headed down to the basement with some laundry. I found him on the first floor landing. It is not clear what happened. He was apparently trying to get outside. He could not bypass the plank of wood I bar the stairs with (though he used to be able to knock it over sometimes), so he slipped through the railings and either made his way down from the second floor landing, or possibly fell, although he did not appear to have been injured in that way. He was already dead, but still warm, so it must have happened soon after I opened the door. I feel fairly sure he was near the end and trying to find somewhere to die because he would never have tried to jump like that otherwise. It was not like him to fail to seek me out first thing in the morning, and I wish he had. I always tried to do the best I could for him and I feel like I failed him when he needed me.

Sorry to just rant like this but I know many Mudcatters are animal lovers and might understand. I have other cats but no one can replace this special friend of a decade and a half. They all laid with him after I cleaned and wrapped him up. I laid him one last time on his hammock on the back porch, as it was a sunny day yesterday. If it had rained as it did the day he died, I probably would have opted to have him cremated. But instead I knew what would be more suitable for him.

I have buried him in my garden so he can be outdoors always, chasing bugs and snakes and mice and birds, chewing on grass, soaking up the sunshine, sniffing at the breeze.

rest in peace, Ziggy, and I will see you again, I hope.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Arnie
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:23 PM

Peg - sorry to hear you've lost Ziggy. Unfortunately we must accept that we will usually outlive our pets, but this doesn't provide much consolation when they eventually die. I lost my terrier Sam a few years ago and I still miss him today but couldn't bring myself to buy a 'replacement' dog. Instead I now have two young cats who pester me endlessly but who I wouldn't be without. I suppose that if Ziggy lived his life to the full then that is what counts. And of course he will always live on in your thoughts.....

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Peace
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:32 PM

Sorry, Peg.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Alba
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:33 PM

Peg, it is so hard to lose our unconditional Friends and you have had to deal with so much grief and loss this Year.
Your Ziggy was so loved while He was here. I hope that the pain of parting eases soon. Sleep peacefully Ziggy.
Blessings and Light to you Peg
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:35 PM

Dear Peg:

My condolences on your loss. It seems to be a season for losses; but we keep breathing and walking around. Somehow this does not make sense but there it is.

I don't need to remind you that you & Z can still communicate. Don't forget to use that feature!

Love,

A

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 01:42 PM

Sorry to hear about your loss Peg.

Much Love fromthis side of the pond

Khatt

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: beadie
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 01:49 PM

Peg:
    My condolences . . . . . .

In our extended, multi-species family, we have experienced the sorrow you are going through several times in the past few years. I and my spouse usually find solace and support, first, in each other, and also from conversing with others in similar circumstaances. We have found that, by entering the phrase "Rainbow Bridge" into almost any browser, you can turn up a host of pet-loss support sites of varying degrees of interactiveness. Some offer all sorts of boards, forums, and such, while others are simply a place to meditate with images, poetry and prose thata has been posted. Nearly all of them will have a recitation of a poem entitled "Rainbow Bridge" that I still cannot get through without tearing up.

Best to you, and you will, I am sure, meet Ziggy at the Bridge . . .

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 02:03 PM

I just lost a 13 year old friend, Pudder-rangger, last month. It's tough but it's part of the price we pay as animal lovers... My condolences, Peg...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Gern
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 02:25 PM

My 17-year old is suddenly dying of kidney failure, and although we might prop him up for a few months with artificial hydration, he's getting ready to check out. I sure understand your feelings. I'm a happily married man, but I've allowed almost no living thing to get as close to me as this cat. A close pet can require profound grieving, which is sometimes hard for others to understand. But pet lovers understand it. When you're ready, start over again.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: KathWestra
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 02:42 PM

Peg, I'm so very sorry. I know how your loss of Ziggy must be tearing at your heart--just reading your post made me cry. I lost two dear old friends within ten months in the late summer of 2001 and midsummer 2002. Tossie (full name, Tosspot) was 19-1/2 and was my first-ever and much-beloved cat. Actually my first-ever pet of any kind. Losing her was wrenching. Then, 10 months later, I lost 16-1/2 year-old Misty, a lovely grey tortoise cat who had come to live with me at around age 3 or 4 when her people moved away and abandoned her. That loss was no easier than losing Tossie. Both were ill at the end, and I had intellectually prepared myself to the possibility of losing them, but nothing prepared my gut for the sucker-punch of their dying.

Ziggy was one lucky kitty to have someone who loved him so very much. You honor him in death with your grieving as you honored him in life with your care and devotion and companionship. You might want to do something special in your yard to honor Ziggy's memory. One of the things I did for Tossie was to plant spring bulbs on her grave in my side yard. That, and the little garden statues of a curled-up sleeping cat that mark her and Misty's resting places are a constant reminder of my wonderful companions.

My deep condolences.
Kathy

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 02:54 PM

The cat I'd had since my teenage years died when I was in my early 30s. It was very hard to deal with, and I was hurt and annoyed by a coworker who thought it was funny that I was upset over losing this animal.

This cat crossed the country with me many times, was a good camper, and a good companion. She got sick very quickly (kidney disease)--it was clear that she was not going to recover, and she obviously felt very bad, so I had her put to sleep. I couldn't bear to be present when she was euthanized, but at the same time, I know I should have been there.

I almost didn't see her at all after taking her in to the vet--they left a message telling me what her condition was, and it was such a heartbreaking choice that I tried to return the call to say go ahead and put her to sleep. Just as the called connected my phone suddenly died. I walked across the street to a grocery store (the vet wasn't much father than the grocery) and that phone died also. Clearly the technology within reach was responding to the matters at hand, so I stopped trying to find phones and walked over to the vet's office. I saw my sweet, unresponsive cat, said good bye, and walked home. Since I was in a tiny apartment I couldn't bury her anywhere, so afterward the vet made arrangements to bury her out on a farm where they regularly buried animals people didn't want ignominiously taken to whatever landfill the city provided for such animals.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Kim C
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 05:17 PM

Aw Peg, I'm sorry. We lost our dog Zenith about this time last year. It's very, very sad when a friend leaves us. I think, though, the joy we have in sharing our lives with our pets, is so much greater than the sorrow we feel when they pass.

Hugs to you.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Mickey191
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 05:46 PM

Peg, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is my belief that when animals sense the end is near, and they rest their body for the very last time, whether alone or with their masters- they remember all the good days. When they were new & playful & limber & loved & kissed & held. They hear the "I love yous," the "pretty kittys" the "Good dogies." the sound of their
master's beloved voice.

Rainbow bridge is a terrific place, but it might be a bit early to go there. I've always had dogs, (and with one exception) from kill shelters-which is what most of them are now. So I always took my comfort in all the additional years those dogs were granted. It is a very time to go thru. Your consolation must be in the added years Ziggy had because of your love.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Phot
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 06:05 PM

Peg, sorry to learn of your loss, we lost Clyde two weeks ago, its never easy to lose such a loving friend.
Clyde is buried in a beautiful part of Devon, and along with your Ziggy, is either chasing mice to his hearts content, or lying and lounging in front of a warm open fireside, purring his heart out and kneeding the carpet.

Happy to meet, sorry to part, happy to meet again.

Best wishes, Chris

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 08:51 PM

Sorry Peg. I have lost so many mostly because they come to me sick and undernourished. But the time they have with me is filled with good food, warm beds, sofas to scratch, and love. Darlin' Homey died at the age of seven and with no warning last year. He went out to play, came in fine, and crawled under a bed where he died. It hurt to lose him. But he had a wonderful life. Ziggy did too.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 09:38 PM

I still dream that my sunshine-gold-orange and cream cat Sunbeam has returned, tho I saw his dead body glinting in the sunshine one cold morning, on the road, several years ago. I was late to work and too shocked to think clearly.... I did not stop to remove him; he was gone when I came back. In my dreams I am so happy to see him, but I cry and feel bad all day once I wake up. He was a real little sweetie. Regrets... he gave so much more than I gave back. I feel for you, Peg.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 09:38 PM

Yep, lost a few pets myself after many years of companionship. It never gets any easier. Condolences, Peg.

My suggestion: get another pet as soon as possible. Not as a replacement, of course; each animal has it's own quirks and charms and is unique. But it will make bearing the loss easier. And there are far too many unwanted pets being put down every day, as well as too many owned by people that shouldn't have them. Be a good home to another one.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: freightdawg
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 09:42 PM

Dear Peg,

Sorry to hear of your loss. We lost our little black kitty we named Mouse to very sudden circumstances very similar to yours. I was devastated, and used much of the same words that you used. Our pets' love is unconditional, and very often I have wondered which is the superior species, us or the animal kingdom. We have a 19 year old that we have had since he was weaned from his mother. We know his passing is near, and we were looking for another animal to help us through. Just at that time a mother and little kitten showed up in our back yard and we were able to capture the kitten. She has been with us almost a year, and this summer we went to the animal shelter and adopted her a little playmate so she would leave our senior citizen alone. The three cats get along great, and though we know the loss of our eldest will be immense, we also know the love of our little ones will carry us through. It sounds like you are a wonderful pet owner, and your other kittys will help you - they have a marvelous sense of counseling us when we need it the most. And be open in the future to allowing another pet to come into your life. Many, many kind thoughts to you, and bless you for caring so much for our furry little friends. Sleep in peace, Ziggy.

Freightdawg

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: DougR
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 12:39 AM

Peg: I'm sorry for your loss. Pets become a part of us and losing them is a terrible experience. In 1999, my wife died, and two beautiful cats we had had for almost twenty years died too. I decided never again to have pets, and believed I would never remarry.

But then, last month, I married a wonderful lady who had a minature Poodle (Penny) and a minature white Schnauzer (Emma). I'm hooked again.

Give yourself some time and give your love to another pet. Theirs is a love that humans can't duplicate.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: KT
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 01:52 AM

Hi Peg.
I'm so sorry you've lost your beloved Ziggy. It sounds as though you two had a very special bond, indeed. Because of that bond, I think somehow your Ziggy was okay with the way it happened, and the fact that you weren't there.

A little over a year ago, I lost my 13 year old dog. Because of the death of another family member at the same time, I was not able to be with my dog at the time of his death and it still grieves me deeply that I wasn't. I have come to believe though, that somehow he was okay with that. I haven't been able to bring myself to get another dog yet, though I suppose Cluin's advice is good.

Try not to replay Ziggy's last hours with too many "if onlys." Focus on the knowing that he was well loved and knew it. My heart is with you.....KT

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 04:53 AM

Peg

I'm so sorry about Ziggy. I too have lost more than my fair share of loved pets. The one that hurts the most though was my lovely Whisky, who I had for a long time. I had him from when I was five years old. He died when I was 25 years old. At 20 years old he was an old man, and had been my puddy tat for 20 years. He was a grumpy old git, but at the same time he was lovely and sweet.

I was on my own with him when he died and in a way I think that was worse. My mum and dad were on hols in Canada and I woke up one morning to see him fitting on the floor. I stayed with him stroking him and petting him and trying to calm him down. I knew what was happening. He was in his final throes - there was nothing I could do. I have never ever been so hysterical over an animal before. I was unconsolable.

Peg I know what it feels like. Don't do the what ifs.... you enjoyed your cats company and let that be enough to comfort you.

I miss my one eyed, scraggy eared worn out old battle cat, the scourge of the neighbourhood and the preditor of all things furry/feathery or watery and small children and unwary men whom he seemed to dislike (most except my dad).

And since then I've lost 2 more little boy cats, due to genetic problems we didn't know they had. Theirs was heart breaking too - they died very young from blood clots on their legs, paralysing them and leaving the front half the normal cat, and the back half unable and painful. We had to do the less painless option for them as the vet could do no more for them. I miss them too. It never gets easier, but if we never had our furry friends we'd be missing out on lots of fun and comfort.

I've just taken in a little female cat I rescued - and when she settles in completely and affirms the house as her own, I'm going to go out and rescue her a little pal to keep her company.

So, don't dispare... remember the lovely cat you had and not the what ifs!

Regards

Ella

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 05:27 AM

Hugs, Peg.
-Allison

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Peg
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 11:31 PM

thanks so much, everyone for sharing your own loving memories of pets, and your kind words of consolation. Reading your stories   is moving and of course lets me know this is what people who love their animals go through. I have been through it myslef, too, with two cats who disappeared and several family dogs who died over the years. This one was closer to me and so special. I know if one of my other cats had died Ziggy would be the one to comfort me...these guys seem a bit bereaved but also figuring out the new social order of things! but I will try to give them love and companionship suitable to their own individual quirks and needs.

I hope all of you who have lost your beloved animals will find comfort in knowing they were well loved by you and loved you in return. The cure for grief is to keep loving I guess.

Blessings to you Alison, as your recent loss is so very sad and   hard to bear. I have lit a candle for you and hope your grieving will bring you to a more bearable place soon.
peg

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: AliUK
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 12:12 AM

Peg,
I learned to love cats last year and then when I did I lost the cat that I loved. My heart goes out to you. Ziggy is at peace and living the cat life somewhere else. One day you´ll be reunited as we are with all our loved ones.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 02:05 AM

Peg,
Take heart from the warm bond that you had with Ziggy - hugs from Oz, from me and my cats. We have lost animals and it hurts every time, in this house they are part of our family as much as our children are.
Hugs
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: kendall
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 09:01 AM

My deepest sympathy to you, Peg. Try to focus on all the love you two shared, and the good times you enjoyed. You are both so lucky to have found each other. I lost my favorite dog when he was only 10,that was 8 years ago, but I still can't bear to hear MR. Bojangles; the line that tells about his dog.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Partridge
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 09:20 AM

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I can understand the bond that you had, I had a pet dog who was not a very pleasant animal in a lot of ways - he was not cute but awkward and a bit ugly and he loved to roll in cow sh**. But, when I needed someone to talk to in my teens and my parents were against everything I did, he was my lifeline. It broke my heart when he died and I've never had another pet since. In hindsight I made a bad mistake, I should have allowed another animal in my life. I'm moving to the other side of the country sometime in the next few months and I fully intend to get a dog - you just have to keep loving.
love
Pat xx

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: maire-aine
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 11:55 AM

I'm so sorry. I lost my beautiful cat Danny in January, to cancer. He was at the vet hospital and they tried everything they could, but he was suffering so. I was with him when the vet put him to sleep. It was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. I still miss him, even though I love my other three cats.

Grieving is hard enough. Please don't beat yourself up about something that you couldn't control. Just cherish the good memories, and enjoy the company of your remaining furry family.

Maryanne

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: GUEST,winniemih
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 01:29 PM

Peg,
    I have grieved the loss of several special animals in my life, and have found the most comfort in the words of a wise veterinarian, Ruth B. James, who wrote "...remember that the love you have given is never lost, whether for an animal or another human being. I have come to believe that our ability to grieve, like our ability to love, is one of the things that makes us human."

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: open mike
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 01:57 PM

sorry to hear about Ziggy.
I needed the vet to help my old old
kitty put an end to her suffering
just yesterday. I had tried to
bring myself to do it for several
weeks now, but i knew that there
was little joy and much suffering
in her life, and that balance was
not in her favor. I took advice
from this thread and put daffodils
near her grave which will be a
reminded each spring of my dear
Lucy cat. she was 17 years old.
last summer a miracle kitty showed
up in my house. She looks like she
could be lucy's daughter, same grey
coloring and surprisingly she found
her way here as quite a small kitten,
and learned from the older cat how to
get in the cat door, use the cat box,
etc. LUcy was a good teacher, and now
Moki is here to carry on the duties of
a good cat--lap warmer, mouse eater,
purring in the sunny spot on the rug,
etc. I hope you will enjoy the cats
in your life and allow them to comfort
you in your loss.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Peg
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 04:35 PM

Sorry to hear of your dear kitty open mike; I know you must be feeling raw right now. This last few days has seemed surreal; I keep expecting Ziggy to try and sneak out the front door as he always did when I was leaving or arriving.

When I buried Ziggy I planted several different kinds of spring bulbs: Angelique tulips, Salome daffodils, blue allium, blue stardrift, and some other blue flower I cannot remember the name of. I also put an oval of stones on the spot. When the flowers come up in spring I will make a more permanent stone circle there. I want to plant a blue sea holly there, too; since it is an unusual blue-grey flower colored like him...

I only rent the plot from the garden society, but some people have had their same plots for twenty years, so as long as I am in Boston I will have this place for my Ziggy. I had always meant to bring him there for a visit but had not gotten around to it since I got the plot a year and a half ago. I know he would have loved it. Once he has begun to return to the earth, his spirit will be everywhere. I wrapped him in a cotton tablecloth, an old brocaded white one. I have no idea how long this will take to decay, or Ziggy, but I am guessing five years is a reasonable estimate. He loved growing things so I like to think he would enjoy being part of this growing process for my garden.

I wish the law allowed us to do this for our human loved ones, i.e. bury them "naturally."

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:42 PM

Thanks for letting us know about Ziggy, Peg. And thanks to all the others as well.

Our old lady cat, Tilly, had an operation a few weeks ago, and though she's feeling better now, we know it's just a matter of time, and probably not that much time.

But then when you let a cat into your life, you know all along it's going to be that way. Which is also true of everyone and everything. It's worth it though.

Here's a song I wrote about Tilly.

Well, here you are once more,
And here we are together.
We thought you'd gone for ever,
And we didn't like the thought.
You've never been away before,
You've not been on your own.
And we couldn't help but wonder,
Would we ever bring you home
But, here you are once more,
And here we are together.
We thought you'd gone for ever,
It's so good to have you home.

When first you came to stay
You weren't the least excited
We weren't too sure you liked it,
But you liked it in your way.
You always were a bit reserved,
Your feelings you would hide
You didn't care to purr out loud
But you always purred inside.
And as the time went by
We settled down together
As if you'd been here for ever
As the years went sliding by.

You'd lie there in the dark
Rest your head upon my shoulder,
But we all of us grow older,
Though you never seemed to change.
But change must come to all of us,
There's nowhere we can hide.
And we know some day it's coming,
The thought can't be denied.
And I took you to a stranger,
And I'd no way of explaining.
And I left you there, complaining -
And I came on back alone.

But, here you are once more,
And here we are together.
We thought you'd gone for ever,
And we didn't like the thought.
You'd never been away before,
You'd not been on your own.
And we couldn't help but wonder,
Would we ever bring you home
But, here you are once more,
And here we are together.
We thought you'd gone for ever,
It's so good to have you home.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Peg
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:45 PM

that's beautiful McGrath. I am sure every day with Tilly has been and will be special, especially since you are aware of how precious she is...

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: kendall
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 08:16 AM

Here is a poem that a friend of mine wrote. It's one of my very favorites, and it always chokes me up.


Yellow Dog

You keep your lofty abstract God.
Myself, I choose a child of Pan,
An ordinary yellow dog
Who does for love what mortals can,
Who stretches out her mortal frame
Determinedly, although she's lame
For one more walk beside her man.

Whose ashes grace the forest way
We roamed together yesterday.
And to the wilder god I pray:
Give her soul some woods to run,
A stick to fetch, a patch of sun.
And near her, Pan, preserve a place
For me, come from a lesser race .

© 1994 W. B. Leavenworth



__________________________________

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 10:26 AM

Kendall:

Hell, I like that!


A

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: kendall
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 04:26 PM

I'm proud to say that the author is a friend of mine. It really is a great piece of work.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: GUEST,Ely
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 08:51 PM

When I was in college, we went through a bad period during which we lost our old dog to cancer, our cat was going downhill, and we lost a rescued dog to a botched heartworm treatment.

Ootek was cremated and scattered in the Rocky Mountains (it didn't seem right to make a spitz spend eternity in the heat of the Gulf Coast). Razz's ashes are in a little box in the den; we thought about burying her but we'd hate to move and leave her behind. When Finn didn't make it, we couldn't afford to have him cremated, too, so we let the vet send him off for mass cremation. I don't even have a picture of him because my parents were hoping to take one when he was healthier and looked better. I've never forgiven myself for letting him go like that. He was such a nice dog and so badly neglected all his life that it just seems unpardonable that we don't have anything at all left of him.

I work for a vet and there are a lot of animals who don't get the love they need. I'm glad Ziggy had someone who valued him so much.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 14 May 04 - 06:37 PM

I thought I'd open this thread up again.

A couple of posts ago, from November, there's a song about our cat Tilly - well, today we had to take her to the vet for the last time.

Thanks Peg, for what you said there. I think Tilly's last few months with us were a good time for her, and she was able to lie out in the sunshine once more the last few days - but this week she was clearly going downhill, and there wasn't anything else to do.   

She's buried down at the bottom of the garden now. Our other cats know something is up, especially her younger sister Tabitha.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 May 04 - 06:56 PM

I missed this one due to the sudden appearance of a grandson.

Sorry, Peg, for your loss. I hope you are doing better now. I miss so many of my past companions.

McGrath, sorry to hear of Tilly's passing, too. It's just so sad when they have to go.

Love and sympathy,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 May 04 - 09:14 PM

McGrath, I'm glad you had her for so many more months. I love your song. Her spirit no doubt is happily flitting about!

You know, science has the opinion that only the 'higher' animals (specifically humans) understand the concept of death. 'Tain't true.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Amergin
Date: 15 May 04 - 01:26 AM

sorry to hear about your loss, Kevin...it is always so painful to lose a member of the family...and yes the others will always know...we have a basset hound that for the longest time would never want to go bye bye in the car....because we took a friend of hers (basically an adopted sister, a dachsund, they adopted each other) to the vet and never brought her back...

The basset now will go in the car happily....but it was alot of work bringing her to that point.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 15 May 04 - 02:13 AM

Condolences Peg, we have four lovely cats and I dread to think what we will do when any of them passes on.

My wife Jade also loved guinea pigs which are short lived and she was quite distraught when they died. However as a memorial we buried them under some trees and vines we planted in our small garden. Mo' is under the fig tree and Micky is under a grape vine. We have had some wonderful fruit off those two plants and we then reminded that they are there.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 15 May 04 - 09:18 AM

Foolish and Marmalade were brother cats from the same litter. When I expressed a desire for a kitten, a woodstove or carpet customer showed up at the shop with these two little balls of fur in a box. The black one had hauled himself to the top of the box and was screaming at the top of his lungs. The orange one was in a corner trying to absorb everything. Of course I couldn't decide and gathered both into the family. I originally named them Off The Couch and You, Too, but the names that stuck were Foolish and Marmalade. This was back in 1977 or '78 and I was going through a rough time with a then husband and the situation was made a lot worse when I extricated myself from that husband and situation.

Foolish and Marmalade were with me through sooo much going on in my life at the time and also were the only continuitity in my life as I divorced my first husband of 10 years, dealt with the problems he left me, found a new place to live, a new job, got the driver's license the ex-husband kept sabataging me at, a bit later there was another move (not planned) from Maine to New Hampshire and another new job.

Then, by accident, I met Curmudgeon who brought more music into my life in more ways than one.

After awhile the cats and I packed up and moved to his home in the middle of the woods in Nottingham. And he discovered (and coped with) that if anything ever happened where I had to make a choice between Foolish and Tom, well, I'd have to do some serious thinking. After all, he'd been with me (even after Tom and I had been married for 10 years) through more things than Tom had.

Foolish ruled the roost. He was MY cat because he demanded it, relegating his brother to second fiddle, but only because 'Lades was shyer and less demanding. Foolish could hear when my car turned onto Priest Road 1.2 miles down the hill. Foolish yelled at me if I didn't get into my scheduled bath on time -- he curled up next to the tub and told me about his day. He slept curled up tight against me like mis-sized spoons with my arm around him. (Poor Marmalade had to sleep behind my knees or on my hip.)

When he was 15 he developed seizures and was on meds for over 8 months. We never found out what the cause was, but the vet treated symptoms and we made the best of it, sometimes having to change the bedclothes in the middle of the night when he lost bladder contol after a seizure. We worked hard to keep him fed despite his lack of appetite.

But we came home one night from The Press Room and found he had nibbled a hole in the bottom of the food bag and had enjoyed snaking out kibble with his paw, piece by piece. And when he was boarded at the vet shortly before our annual Mother's Day weekend folk gathering, he watched attentively out the window on the drive while I held him in my lap.

He died peacefully a week later, in a nest on the floor close to the bed at about 3 in the morning and was buried in our Black Cat Memorial Garden behind the daylilies with a large leaf of catnip on top of him and a piece of native rock shot through with garnets as his marker.

Marmalade lived another year, finally coming into his own as top cat. His attitude was "I've played second fiddle for 16 years; now it's MY turn" and it was. But he developed an inoperable tumor on his jaw and the vet and I decided to just not let him come out of the anesthesia. And the Black Cat Memorial Garden added an orange cat. I'm really glad Marmalade had his special year.

We've had any number of cats and they're all special (well, except maybe the little ferals who refuse to bond to "The Giants"), but some ARE more special than others.

I was at a party not long ago regaling some new friends with Foolish and Marmalade stories when my friend who was hosting the party came in and said to the others, "You realize these cats have been dead for 10 years . . .)

Robert Waller wrote a book of essays in which he wrote about a significant cat. He wrote, "He was young when I was young and old when I was middle aged." THAT'S when I sat down and cried for Foolish and for myself. Foolish died in 1993. There isn't a day I don't think of him.

We've shared our home with Blackstone, Brandy, Calliope, Peppersass, Inquiry, Sabine, Griffin, Mortimer and the two ferals, Creamsicle and Banjo, since. All except Mort, Sabine and the two ferals have passed on. They were all special, too, and much loved but I guess they just hadn't shared quite so much with me as Foolish and Marmalade.

Excuse me, I've gotta go hug Mort and Sabine.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Spot
Date: 15 May 04 - 02:09 PM

Peg..so sorry to hear of your loss.I know just how you are feeling, I lost my 16yr old yorker a month ago..it is still horrible....!!!These guys at Mudcat helped me.................

             Regards to all .. Spot

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 04 - 03:14 PM

It wasn't quite as altruistic as it may sound - I got as much from him as I gave him- but nearly two years ago I went to the local humane society and told them that I was looking for an old dog who needed a happy ending.

A couple of days later they got one in, a 13 year old Pomeranian that wss devastated at losing his home. (The only thing I know about it is that when the son went off to college, the parents brought the dog to the shelter.) I named him Darby. I'd had him four days when I knew he had accepted me- I was at the computer (on Mudcat!) when he turned his head and methodically licked one of my fingers. (He was the least licking and scratching dog I have ever known.)

But he wasn't sure yet that I was going to keep him and for the first month he was the best behaved dog I've ever seen. After that, he still came when I called but said something like, Yes, yes, I'm coming. But first, I have to check this out...

He had a heart condition so for almost all of his time with me, he was on heart medicine. His condition worsened gradually. Eventually there came a time when I needed to go 'south' for a couple of months and some friends of mine whom he knew were willing to take him until I came back but I was sure he wouldn't survive another two months and there was no way I was going to let him feel abandoned again.

So one night I told him, If you have to 'go', you have my permission to go now, because I can't take you with me.

The next morning he ate breakfast- and after that refused food; he never ate again. He died peacefully four days later. I had him a year and one month.

I want to get another dog, another old one- there are a lot of them out there who need love to the end- but I'm not quite ready to go through it again, just not quite yet.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Rasener
Date: 15 May 04 - 06:13 PM

Our rabbit just died. Am I sad.
No becuase it was the kids pet.
Did they look after it.
No
Did they cry.
No
No more animals means moper freedom and a lot more time.
No more vets bills

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 May 04 - 07:01 PM

The Villan- Stay happy. I have never believed that all people should have the care of animals entrusted to them. Just like some people should not have children.

Subject: RE: BS: sudden death of pet
From: GUEST,Al
Date: 15 May 04 - 08:10 PM

Our cat Widgit died a few weeks ago. She was age 10, and seemed fine and healthy in the morning. When we came home from work, she was curled up dead on the floor. No signs of distress. It certainly is a reminder that death is just around the corner. We miss her very much. Here is a quote we found that seemed to capture our feelings:

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890