BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism

Subject: BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism
From: Cruiser
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 01:49 AM

My son, a Calculus student, forwarded this E-mail to me tonight.

Mathematicians at Risk of Losing Civil Liberties

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as unknowns" but we have determined they belong to a Common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
every triangle"; Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
Wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is
intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the
potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex"

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they
continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."

Subject: RE: BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism
From: Ethereal Purple
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 10:29 AM

lol

Subject: RE: BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 11:05 AM

I done hid the Wes Ginny Slide Rule real good until this one blows over....

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism
From: Mr Red
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 06:06 AM

Are we saying that when it comes to numbers he makes a # of it?

Subject: RE: BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:08 PM

Variable bodied wisdom! But it all doesn't add up does it? They try to divide and conquer the radicals, while intellect compasses infinity as fruitful and multiplies... but the powers that B- on your report card are a sub set of the average mean... Naturally, the standard deviation will interpolate tangentally as the bisection of our civil-liberties becomes half again it's diminishing returns... recalibrating micrometers for the half nots, while the square roots accumulate derivatives of percentages, and factor in the uncertanty of counter intuitive logic... replacing the real numbers with imaginary integers and quadratic deductions... and are the chalk of the town... the rest of us line up for a new plane of existence squarely within the circle of life with cubed vegetables and curious minds...

Subject: RE: BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 12:24 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism
From: mack/misophist
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 12:23 PM

gribble

Subject: RE: BS: Weapons Of Math Instruction: Bushism
From: longtimejoe
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM

...but what´s naught any more¿