BS: The Dark Side of Hull

Subject: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 03:41 PM

Obesity? Mental Illness? Binge Drinking? It's all there in the brave new world!! See http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8122-925131,00.html.

Be afraid....and merry Xmas!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 06:49 PM

Well I read the article and it didn't mention Hull!

As a matter of fact Hull is actually well served by the health service for young people and already has drop in clinics, is proactive in dealing with drugs, sexual health and obesity - but then again Hull is also a place that people either pass through or come to by accident. Therefore one can almost assume it is seperate from the rest of the UK and perhaps the rest of the UK (or even the rest of the world) should look and learn.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 07:02 PM

hull is the best place in the werld, and everywere else is rubbish.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 07:52 PM

I couldn't find Hull in there either. Did Amos put in the right link?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 08:29 PM

Ah, forgive me lads -- I've spent too much time in bad company and my sense of humour's gone off as a result. I referred it to Hull, although the article generalizes it to the UK, because of John's repetitive chauvinism as demonstrated above. I guess I better go back to school, eh?

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 09:22 PM

I love Hull and my short time visiting there. Long may you all sing and make great MUSIC !!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 09:34 PM

My gawd...given joHn's education....and the plight of the projects....and the waiting lilst on the dole....and a stinkin dead horse they all worship....Hull could be a good working definition of Hell.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 09:45 PM

guest-i am ignoring you, you are stupif , that is why.john

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 09:50 PM

ps guest-you dont no nothing about hull, and i bet you never beeb here, ecerybody knoews that hull is best place in uk, maybe in the world for flok music, and you dont no nothing, andf , i bet you not ever even been herem, so just get lost then.john
ps=and i mnean it, just get lost, and i;n not joking now.john

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 09:53 PM

you spilled list wrong as well, stupif!

ps, i;m still ignoring you, you are stupig thats why, you vant even spieddl your namne, stupif.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 09:56 PM

anyway=this thing, is not even nothing to do with hull, so you think every bad thing in england is to do with hull/.hats your faults
there is a word, for that, but i fogot waht it is.john

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 03:39 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 03:41 AM

As can be noted, jOhn tends to leave me speechless..is it a co-incidence that he spells "Iraq" correctly?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:32 AM

Amos your sense of humour has not suffed through being in bad company, and the joke was not lost on us all. But since a lot of the UK take Hull as a joke I thought perhaps it prudent to show that actually the joke works the other way too!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:37 AM

at 3.17mudcat time JoHn from Hull rote -!, hull has the highest car crime rate in europe, highest teenage pregnancy in the UK, worst exam results in the country, but we know our folk songs!.
So it seems Amos has convinced him.- DT

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:39 AM

All things are relative and I don't want to cause any hessle - but is there a light side of Hull then ?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:55 AM

Yes but some bugger pinched the bulb!

And yes guest that was true once but is no longer the case, like I said Hull has been very proactive in tackling these issues and others could learn a lot from our example.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,the observer
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:42 AM

is there any truth is in the following line from a well known song then?

'from hell, hull & halifax, good lord deliver me'

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:49 AM

Why do you think they built the Humber Bridge - it was a humanitarian project !

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:21 AM

And don't forget the big deep fis museum.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:26 AM

big fis deep see museum.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:27 AM

cluck here =www.thedeep.co.uk

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,commentator
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:56 AM

GUEST says "but we know our folk songs". With the track record such as you describe for Hull it would appear you have much to sing about.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Beverley Barton
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 07:53 AM

The number of Hull threads that are appearing is disproportionate to the town's size. "the Deep" is impressive, but you cannot eat any of the fish in the tanks. Shame.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Colin Inglis
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 09:24 AM

As "chair" of the controlling Labour group of Hull City Council, I can confirm that it is our intention to waste all your council tax on loony left wing projects.
    So, would all the inmates of Hull please form an orderly queue and evacuate the town asap.
    Beverley looks like a nice new town for us to colonise.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50 cent
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:18 AM

But I've suffered for my art! Oh,sorry, wrong thread.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:23 AM

John:

The cafe at the Deep is looking for on-call help at 44p/hr.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM

Great people, great music, great bridge, Heck, gave the world the Watersons (is that correct? ) What more could anyone ask for ?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Bob Carver
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:36 AM

jOhn, if you take the cafe job could you get me the resaurant franchise? There's a deep fried endangered species in it for you!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:48 AM

John, Nobody spells that badly..it seems deliberate just to anoy..why is that ? Also, you are a tad rude, but Hull is nice.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 02:32 PM

Anyone who gets annoyed at jOhn's spelling is in deep trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:04 PM

John taught me to spell and Im proud of it . Oh someone just put the light bulb back. gosh the towns beautiful !!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 02:46 AM

well I've lived in 'ull and 'alifax next stop .....
as for whether it is a good or bad place those that live there are blinkered to the fact that there is anywhere else and those that escape are thankful that it was there as it shows haow wonderful the rest of the world is - even Rawtonstall has a higher class of criminal - the police there send criminals Xmas cards!

I thought this was going to be a thread about Daft Ada who used to live on Westcott Street - last I'd heard she'd moved to the Park Ave on the West side ( for those who dont know, for us East Hullensians that really is the dark side!)

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:02 AM

Whatever the failings of this miserable little town may be, I have heard that a world class restaurant has recently been opened there called "The Deep". Have any of you sampled it yet? How does it compare with Cerutti's?
         I am prepared to leave the safety of Cottingham and dine there, but only if the chef is first class.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50 cent
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:17 AM

Beverley,
       The chef in both establishment's is the same chap.Although for some strange reason, know only to himself, when he is cooking at The Deep he refers to himself as "the Curator"
       Nevertheless, I can confirm to you that the seafood at The Deep is simply divine! Like all good restaurants you can choose your own fish from several large glass cabinets, and have it cooked right there at your table.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:28 AM

The Whelks are local, though from across the water. Please excuse any finger-marks around the tentacles.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:43 AM

Why thank you for that 50cent. You may be a dangerously half witted rapper, but in the matter of well prepared seafood I demure to your opinion every time.
                      Love
                      Bev.

ps: please tell me that your current tour does not come anywhere near Cottingham!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 06:07 AM

Goodness! Do people actually still forage for whelks? Then EAT them? You poor dears! Times must be hard on the south bank of the river. My husband and I would send food parcels to you all but we never know which Public House to send them to.
          Be a dear and send a proper forwarding address to us.
                      Love
                      Bev.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 07:02 AM

Rest easy Bev. Me and the hood come nowhere near your patch, the shopping is rubbish!! We rapping in Glasgow, Manchester, London and our last gig is at The Marlborough Club in some place called Kingston Upon Hull. Ever heard of it? Boy we gonna rip that place up!we just got new uzi's and a whole heap of PCP.
       May take a late supper at Cerutti's, see you there?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:38 AM

Why thank you 50c. Turtle and Monkfish fondue, at shall we say nine - ish?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:50 AM

Leave Hull alone! Slag off ya own town!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:55 AM

Whelks with tentacles?

Whelks shouldn't have tentacles.

Honest.

WHERE did you say they came from?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 10:06 AM

The tentacles are an unfortunate side effect of decades of inbreeding dear Mario. Somehow, most of the "humans" in that area also have them. I shudder to think how they developed them.
         No matter, according to a much early post, that nice Mr Colin Inglis is going to transport them all to Beverley.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 11:05 AM

Yo mothers! Duncan's gun shop dont sell 9mm ammo! what we gonna do in this town now till Cerruti's opens?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 12:42 PM

Damn fine caff, Cherooty's. Had a very expensive row in there with Mrs S which resulted in two different bottles of plonk.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Les from Hull
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 07:22 PM

Hull's really dark now. But the sun cums out termorrer!

Well it has done so far...

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 04:42 AM

Lesley, I suggest you do not sit so close to jOhn. It is affecting your spelling.If I heard you correctly last night you work for the Council do you not? If so, could you have a word with that nice Mr Inglis and see when he proposes to shoo off those naughty Hull people?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 05:02 AM

Please don't all come to Beverley....??!

Also, am I the only person here who doesn't know who the mysterious Mrs Barton is?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 05:13 AM

Peter darling, how lovely to hear from you. 50cent sends you a peck on the cheek too. The poor love is currently incarcerated having emptied his uzi into Cerutti's ceiling last night. He simply cannot abide cold sea Bass.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:13 AM

Beverley Barton and 50cent? I'm still lost. Where's the bar?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:18 AM

Oh Peter, you are an old silly aren't you.I suspect all that electric banjo playing nonsense you are currently engaged in has brought about an early menopause.
   Send me a PM and I will delicately explain to you how best to relieve the symptoms.
                         Love
                         Bev xxx

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:24 AM

Oh my!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Ozzy
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:27 AM

Bloody nearly cracked a rib laughing at that one Mrs B.Oh! I have! Sorry I missed Cerutti@s last night love but I could not find Hull. Was it shut or summat? 50cent is right tho love, The Deep is one hell of a restaurant! They even let me bite the heads off my own fish!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:45 AM

ozzy, you are a silly billy too! Are you feeling a little menopausal as well? Hull was open, but 50cent and the hood shot out most of the streetlights so you probarbly drove straight passed us.
       You had a lucky escape petal, the Sea Bass was cold! Can you believe it?
         Love to all at your end.
                bev
ps: could you send us £100,000 to bail out Mr 50cent?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Ozzy
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:51 AM

No way Mrs B! I ain't bailing out any folkie! Hull Prison is too good for him!
       oh, by the way, I have put my luggage in the red room in the west wing of your gaff, just off to do a bit of shopping in thr prospect centre. Walter is dozing so no need for you to rush back. What fish do you want for tea?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:01 AM

You have the place to yourself this weekend darling. I have been invited over to the south bank by Cottingham WI. They want me to judge their fruitcake contest.
       Please do not eat the Guinea pigs, they are not ready yet.
                  Love and kisses,
                     Bev.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:22 AM

May I recommend the Whelks au natural avec sod-all? A perfect accompaniment is a chilled bottle of Tizer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:24 AM

Bloody hell, anybody reading this threda who doesn't kno us is gonna think every one from hull is a nutter....well, i suppose that is close to the truth!!! *grin*

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:07 AM

You might try David's and my winkles. They're filling, satisfyingly salty, and easily swallowed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:09 AM

ooohhhh Matron!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:46 AM

whoa mothers! the cops let me go, they say i am the least dangerous dude in the whole town so i go free.
Beverley i found some long haired stammering burglar type dude in your red room, but chill honey, i blew him away with my uzi!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:51 AM

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman and rested. Ten God created WHELKS - since then - neither God nor Man nor Woman has rested.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:53 AM

Oh no! That was my house guest, a Mr Osbourne who is over from America.Stay in dear, I will be home shortly and we can sort out the mess together.
       I have cancelled my south bank excursion, the cakes all contained some sort of fish, and the locals make Hullensians look positively human!
       Please tell me the Guinea Pigs are alright! That uzi of yours is awfully loud and may have frightened them!
               Love and kisses on the bottom
                      Bev xxx

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Les from Hull
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:55 AM

Mrs Barton

I was not doing spelling, I was doing dialect - perhaps not refined enough for your cultured Cottingham ears. And I ought to point out that I am no longer employed by Hull City Council (being the retiring sort that I am), so I can say what I like about Hull.

It's a great place.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:57 AM

Darling Les. NOBODY WORKS for the council, you all just turn up and take the money.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 12:47 PM

This thread is putting f*uc*k*in' years on me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:08 AM

Mick dear, the years have been kind to you as you well know. If it wasn't for the current Mr Barton I would sweep you off your feet and spirit you away to my lovely home in Cottingham, and you would never have to sing for pennies on street corners again!
       I have had a naughty thought MIck, the red room is free. Mr Osbourne is currently in hospital so you could move in as my "butler". Walter would never know! What say you to that darling.
       The police incidentally have been most kind in the unfortunate incident of Mr Osbounes shooting. After several sherries in my drawing room, I convinced sergaent Dean that Ozzy had simply crashed his motorcycle into a tree, so 50cent is still at large on his folkie hunt.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Ozzy
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:15 AM

Shooting? motorbike? Butler? I thought it was just a bad hangover.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Colin Inglis
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:20 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Colin Inglis
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:28 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Pat Doyle Party President
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 06:27 AM

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
Colin Inglis, having failed in his duty, has been deported along all the inmates of Hull to a purpose built shanty town to be knowm as MOLESCROFT.
       jOhn from Hull is believed to be living in an underground cellar somewhere. But it is only a matter of time before our bloodhounds track him down, his strong curry odour will give him away!
      
    therefore I see no doubt in any more Hull based threads, and so I respectfully suggest to our brothers in arms at mudcat that they DELETE THEM ALL!
                      Yours,
          Acting leader of Molescroft Communist Party
                      Brother Pat Doyle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 06:33 AM

Thank you Councillor Doyle for your sterling work in closing Hull down. Pray tell though, is The Deep restaurant to remain open?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Colin Inglis
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 06:53 AM

Just wait till bloody John Prescott hears about this! How am I supposed to keep sixteen thousand lazy council clerks occupied in a little hole like Molescroft. You could at least have budgeted for sixteen thousand colouring books for us Doyle!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 09:47 AM

Hmmmmm, I wonder if we are about to see a new rash of threads appear, hosted by jOhn of Molescroft.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:22 AM

It should be jOhn from Molescroft, not jOhn of Molescroft. I bet he does not spell Molescroft correctly either.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:25 AM

OMG....not Molescroft, PLEEEEEEEEASE........? Now Cherry Burton, that's the place for them.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:31 AM

Hello Peter dear, how is your tummy? Did Aunty Beverley's flatulence remedy work for you? Has your new youth project/pop combo got a name yet?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:39 AM

ps: if you are following my remedy correctly, you can remove the raw ginger from your rectum this evening.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50 cent
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 11:59 AM

found him!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 12:15 PM

Always look on the bright side of life.....

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 03:17 AM

Don't forget darlings you can see my goodself and 50cent in person, at the Adelphi on thursday evening of this week, where we will be entertained by The Harri Watts Band.
      The dress code is "casual but poggy" apparently.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 04:04 AM

All better now, thanks Bev.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 05:18 AM

Dear Bev, have you never been to the Adelphi club before? It's rather swanky! As for dress sence, i'm sure that is what you have been told but the dress code is actually evening wear, that little black number would be perfect...

*grin*

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 05:24 AM

"Swanky" and "Hull" are two words that simply do not go together my dear! I was rather hoping that councillor Doyle would have levelled Hull by now, but I understand T'brothers are on strike and will not demolish another building until they receive danger money because everywhere is simply plastered in old curry!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 07:00 AM

The Adelphi....??? SWANKY.....????????? What sort of places have you been hanging about in, S'fire? Skanky would be a more accurate description.

I do worry about the youth of today.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 07:16 AM

Hehehe, you should know my humour by now Pete...

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Pat Doyle : fuhrer
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 09:13 AM

IMPORTANT NOTICE
   The brothers (after huge amounts of overtime) have finally established The People's republic of Molescroft.All ex-Hullensians therein must obey the following rules when mingling with the locals in Beverley:-
      a)Always wear a silly hat,must be tweed!
      b)trousers WILL be brown corduroy
      c) DO NOT stick your finger in your ear when singing!!! The locals use this as a mating call!
      d)do not walk four abreast on the pavement.
      e) PAY for things in shops.Robbery is frowned upon in these parts.
      f) NO LADA'S TO BE PARKED IN THE SATURDAY MARKET.
      G) HARP LESSONS ARE COMPULSORY. the harp teacher will be a mr jOhn shuttlecock. I will furnish you with his home address shortly.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 10:47 AM

I think i'm missin something....(please, no sugestions as to what tho!)

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Ozzy
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 11:38 AM

Where did all these bloody holes in me chest come from? Have I missed something?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 12:04 PM

Walter did it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 08:39 AM

I think you've taken too much medication Ozzy...

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 10:00 AM

Ozzy is as clean as a whistle love. He is not used to the gorgeous clean fresh air that we have here in Cottingham, which simply makes the darling's head spin.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 02:41 AM

colin inglish-you are a big load of shit, you waste our tax money on stupif things, lkie that stupid modern art thing in town, i heard it cost quater of a miilon quid!
big load of shit.

pat doyle-why cant i park my Lada in Beberley then?, [you are stupid as well.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 03:47 AM

Take heart jOhn darling. I have secured you a Beverley passport, you need never trouble yourself with what's left of Hull anymore. Once we have jet washed you until you are curry free, I will take you on a guided tour of this cosmopolitan little jewel of a town.
      You will be temporarily billeted with an old ex-guitarist (he needs your rent money) in Molescroft until your new Nissen hut is erected.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:37 AM

He will never get one, he would not pass the speellling test.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:47 AM

Hey, who saw our illustrious Chief of Police make a complete tit of himself on national television last night...?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:50 AM

Dave Westwood is some relative of mine, not sure exactly waht, i think hes my mams cousin or something.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:52 AM

Peter dear, I am preparing the red room for him as we speak. He was well and truly Paxo,d! But we will need semi - competent police for the new state of Molescroft so we are hiding him until we need him for traffic control.Have you seen the handcart jams in grovehill nowadays? Shocking!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:56 AM

Ay, Paxoed!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 05:10 AM

Gentlemen, how kind of you to let a lady take post no 100.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 05:16 AM

Anyway=I just been to the butchers [Dixons, on Chants Ave] to get some lamb chops for me dinner, I ask butcher, 2 how much are them lamb chops?,
he says " £7.23 A kilo"!
I says "how much is that in proper money"?,
he says dunno, we have to use kilos now, because of eorope law!
bloody stupif foreign money laws, this is Hull, not bloody Euro Land!

anyway, they was 4 quid for 6.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 05:18 AM

That is seven pounds four shillings and seven pence for two pounds and three ounces sweety.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 05:22 AM

oh, thanks Beberley, are you a butcher?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 06:46 AM

We do not do manual labour in Cottingham!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 08:13 AM

Clearly, she's a mathematician, then! Certainly not a European.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 08:34 AM

Beverley is 45years old and remembers well proper english weights and measures. At Cerutti's she always pays her bill in guineas.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Ozzy
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 08:35 AM

i remember them! i bit the head off one once.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 09:58 AM

The best guineas can be purchased in Ireland.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:06 AM

You can also get a good head there.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:10 AM

Obtuse as ever eh slaphead! see you this evening at adelphi. This Karl chap, is it Merry's son? Or the chap who writes for the flatmates?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:25 AM

The latter my good lady, he is the chap who sometimes plays at SBT, voltkswagen caravanette and an ugly dog with a knitted multi-coloured coat and black eye.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:37 AM

Thank you David. I need to know about the unsavoury characters I will be mixing with tonight, YuK! Poor old jOhn from Hull went to SBT last night, only to find it empty. When does this session resume?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:41 AM

I believe it will be 7 January 2004 - we can confirm tonight.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 10:42 AM

Have you noticed we are gradually drifting into the brighter side of Hull.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Beverley Barton
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 03:50 AM

SPRING BANK TAVERN 7TH JAN.in what used to be 'ull.
   
   David, we will be there.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 05 Jan 04 - 11:18 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Ozzy
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 05:41 AM

I don't think I can make it.Anyone want to buy a quad bike?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 01:24 AM

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Bobjack
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 07:52 AM

The flatmates and Shindigg are both playing at the Polar Bear thurs. 8/1/04.
   Check their website:- www.shindigg.co.uk

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jan 04 - 12:13 PM

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 05:16 AM

Can someone explain to me again, why on completing the wonderful journey through the Deep, exploring sea life in all its many forms, examining the aquatic environment and how we must preserve it for the future, we get to the restaurant and are presented wit te overwhelming smell of haddock and chips? Do the fish wake up each morning and do a body count?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,The Vogan High Command
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 05:32 AM

Earthlings,


Due to overrunning engineering works elsewhere (a crashed crane outside Clapham Junction Station), it will be neccessary to postpone construction of the Sol bypass section of the new Andromeda - Crab Nebula Hyperspace Freeway for at least 3 Vogan Weeks (which is equal to approximately 15.178925 years of your earth years). Due to our indestructable constructor fleet being badly corroded by emamations of curry vapour from your town of Hull and our electronic systems crashing because of the reception of spurious 9's (and also the fact that none of your folk clubs have offered to book me for a poetry evening) we will be leaving this area of space for the time being.

We will be back.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,50cent
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 06:11 AM

Linda dear, you have missed the point. The Deep is NOT an Aquarium, it is a RESTAURANT. The large glass tanks are merely there to keep the seafood fresh prior to consumption.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Bobjack
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 06:58 AM

Check out "feb mudcat gathering" it is only about 80 miles north of you lot.Guisborough, february 14th.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Bassic
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 07:20 AM

I have it on good authority that it will be worth the trip to "The Globe" on the 14th. Its just "round the corner" from Whitby.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Sweetfia
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 08:43 AM

Yo Bassic are you going to Guisborough on the 14th? I think you should you!

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Ozzy
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:34 AM

can i come? my quad bike is fixed now, could one of you dude's in guisborough put me and kelly up for a few days?

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jan 04 - 11:54 AM

hrllo, i just looked at shindiggs website, its cack, just a photo of some band pepole , and i clicked loads of stuff, and nowt happened, waste of clicks, cack.john

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: GUEST,Shindigg
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 05:00 AM

No it is not cack!Anyway what do you expect for five quid! Our mum made it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Dark Side of Hull
From: Bobjack
Date: 09 Jan 04 - 10:25 AM

Did anyone go to see shindigg last night?They kick arse in a most delightful way.