BS: What did Jesus really look like?

Subject: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: GUEST,Howie Mandell
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 02:02 PM

According to the pictures rendered in today's New York Times, maybe he looked just like me.

Check it out. I'm the one on the right.

Howie Mandell

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: InOBU
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 02:49 PM

Actually Jesus looked a lot like me, but she was Black. Cheers Larry

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 03:33 PM

What did he look like is interesting enough - I imagine if he was walking around in Jerusalem he'd probably look like one of the locals. A Yemeni Jew maybe, or a Palestinian Arab.

But the more relevant question might be "what does he look like?", amd the answer would be, like everyone.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 03:41 PM

Ask a Darwinist.

Apparently "God made man in his own image"
But, "Christ appeared in fashion as a man"

So clearly there was some mutation between these two times :P)

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 03:42 PM

As I said in another thread, he probably didn't look like what's up in every church. The most goyisha looking Jew ever. He probably looked like my Uncle Seymour scarving down a pastrami sandwich at the Carnegie Deli.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: dianavan
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 04:04 PM

He looked like any mother's son.

d

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Peace
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 04:04 PM

Where the hell have you people been. He looks like Mel Gibson!

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 04:36 PM

http://www.angelfire.com/md2/customviolins/antichrist.gif

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Amergin
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 04:40 PM

he bears a remarkable likeness to myself....

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 05:01 PM

The early Christians, if one is to believe the earliest paintings extant of Jesus, believed he was clean shaven.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 05:13 PM

So Howie, you're saying he does (did) look like a Canadian?

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 05:25 PM

"Where the hell have you people been. He looks like Mel Gibson!"

Who doesn't have the part in that film, I gather.

The clean shaven picture reflects the fact that the people who drew them were clean shaven. The same way in the Ethiopian church they drew him as black, and in Europe they painted him looking like he came fromthere.

It was only later that people got hung up on the fanciful notion that he actually must have looked like the pictures they'd been making. Probably quite a lot later. When painters in the Middle Ages drew the Roman soldiers in modern day armour, that didn't mean they thought the Romans dressed like that, they were trying get the meaning of what was happening across.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Peace
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 06:34 PM

Mel Gibson's father?

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: lady penelope
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 06:37 PM

Well according to the original clicky, Jesus looks like the the New York Times web site.............

The truth is, WE'LL NEVER KNOW..................Get over it.


TTFN Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: mack/misophist
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 06:51 PM

A few years back, some anthros did a study based on what his neighbors are known to have looked like. They decided he was short, a little squatty, kind of dark complected, with curly black hair (maybe with reddish highlights), and a broad nose. Sorry, Tar Heel, he sounds like a black man to me. Hope I didn't ruin your day.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 10:23 PM

Yeah, Mack, I read that too. Apparently some folks think he might also have been a hunchback.

But ya know, whatever he looked like, Jesus has a penis. It's hard to circumsize someone who doesn't.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 09:35 AM

Unfortunately "female circumcision" is in fact prevalent in some parts of the world.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: *daylia*
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 12:26 PM

Well, how about asking him? ("Seek and ye shall find", after all).

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 12:41 PM

Do you mean "Him" or "him"?

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: *daylia*
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 01:20 PM

Well, we could also ask if H/he prefers to be capitalized.   

(H/he'll probably say not to worry, as long as we don't capitalize ON H/him).

But why oh WHY did I have to notice for the first time in my life that "Jesus" rhymes with "penis"? This might prove to be VERY bad for my immortal Soul .... like, thanks a LOT eh?

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 01:29 PM

Daylia, if it's any help (or even if it isn't) I would point out that Venus rhymes with "penis"--which is all well and good--but that Jesus is not really a good rhyme because the preceding accented syllable is wrong. Yes, I suppose in a song or poem one could get by with that as a rhyme, but it wouldn't really be satisfactory. Your soul is saved now.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: *daylia*
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 01:53 PM

*whew* bless you Dave I'm forever in your debt!

(Now daylia, if you'll just quit priding yourself on being a BAD poet, you'll be ok!)

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: rock chick
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 02:15 PM

He looks like everyone, everywhere.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 02:24 PM

"Female circumsion" isn't circumsion in the traditional meaning of the word -- cutting away the foreskin.

January 1 used to be the Feast of the Circumsion, but the Catholic Church changed it to something else. I understand that several churches in Europe have Jesus of Nazareth's foreskin in their reliquaries.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 02:59 PM

He looked just like His dad.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: *daylia*
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 03:56 PM

Rapaire, are you serious?????

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Sournote
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 04:30 PM

Rapaire is right. A favorite anthem for this feast, at least in Anglican churches, was "O Sacred Head, Now Wounded."

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Wolfgang
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 05:52 PM

With so many foreskins of Jesus preserved, in a couple of years we should be able to clone him and then we know the answer to the title question.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: GUEST,bid andy
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 06:14 PM

your all wrong he looked like brian glover and i think he was from barnsley as well

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 06:42 PM

Well he certainly sounds like Brian Glover to me, though reception's not great in this house. As for what he looked like, well I've always thought Bin Laden has a serene and saintly mien about him.... Of course, I realise there's no comparison. Appearances can be very deceptive.

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 07:09 PM

Hey, I thought everybody knew He looked like the guy on the Zigzag package...

Zigzag has a Website of its own, too - http://www.zigzag.com

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Hand-Pulled Boy
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 07:56 PM

The thing is that he's due back soon and should feature exclusively on the front of 'Hello' magazine, and, providing that they don't touch up his picture you'll find that he looks just like John Wayne.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Feb 04 - 09:54 PM

why ask when you have Google to SHOW you?

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: dianavan
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 01:52 AM

Joe - The zig zag man has an odd moustache. Jesus wouldn't twirl his moustache, would he? ...and the zig zag man has a funny twinkle in his eye. Jesus wouldn't endorse such a product, would he?

Peter K - Are you insinuating that Jesus or Osama is a rough beast?            :>) Hey, come to think of it, there is a resemblance.

d

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Dave Masterson
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 03:35 AM

I'm not really bothered about what Jesus looked like (or when he was really born, or this, or that)- it's what he did that's the important thing.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 04:01 AM

At one time He looked like seven pounds of incontinent dough, and later on He looked like someone dying slowly.
He was frightening when He lost his rag, though. All the merchants ran away from Him.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 04:16 AM

An interesting question that can only be answered by someone who has seen him or someone with an imagination. I'm going with the imagination since I haven't seen him.

Jesus had these huge black eyes that could look into your soul and know what you were thinking before your thought even came to you.
Jesus had red hair and a little red honey mop under his chin. No other hair besides on his head and pubic area would grow.
Jesus had fingers and toes all exactly the same size.
Jesus neither looked like Mary, nor Joseph, therefore giving the neighbors much stimulating gossip as to who could be the father.
Jesus had the power to create in the minds of anyone that looked upon him, to create an image of him that was nothing but pure beauty and life.
Jesus was an illusion.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:03 AM

.. he wears a kilt.. eats tacos.. and can speak Malay.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: InOBU
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:27 AM

Yasser Arafat? - Larry

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 09:01 AM

The abbey of Charroux, the abbey church of Coulombs (diocese of Chartes), St. John Lateran (Rome), Santiago de Campostella, Cathedral Puy En Velay, churches in Metz, Besancon, Calcata, Hildesheim, and, last but not least, the city of Antwerp.

According to a painting of St. Catherine of Siena, she was married to Jesus who put his foreskin on her finger as a wedding ring. And a 17th century theologian when Jesus ascended in the heaven his foreskin did too, and became the rings of Saturn.

Ain'tcha glad to learn all this? Ain'tcha gladder than the RC church has de-emphasized relics? Ain'tcha glad you're not Catherine of Siena?

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Big John
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 05:38 PM

Like it or lump it he probably looked like a cross between Asama and Saddam.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Kim C
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 05:56 PM

Does it really matter what Jesus LOOKED like?

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:01 PM

Looks like a fairy story to me.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:07 PM

I think it matters what he looks like.

He absolutely is never portrayed looking like a Jew.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:26 PM

Whatever "a Jew" looks like.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:35 PM

Whoopie Goldberg

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: GUEST,sorefingers
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:47 PM

There's a documentary about this one. They claim he looked like a Jewish person with a broad skull - similar to those found in burial sites of the period - and stated that these people would have looked like modern people of Israel.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 07:55 PM

Jesus looks like Max Von Sydow, Jeff Hunter, Ted Neely, Robert Powell, Willem Dafoe, Jim Caviezel, Christian Bale, Chris Sarandon, Franco Nero, Lothaire Bluteau, Desi Arnaz Giles, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:14 PM

Dave Ostereich

Jews have definitive features that help me recognize others of my faith. I have often found this interesting as Judiasm is not a race, per se, but there are traits I will not deny that Jews do have. Most Jews know this and we can be in a room full of people and spot other Jews usually quite quickly. In no way am I ashamed of this or embarrassed by this. There is a common gene between us. I have even heard of Jewish only diseases much the same as there have been diseases of other races such as sickle cell anemia. I don't think there is any other religion or faith that has physical traits amonst it's people.

I see none of those in how Jesus is portrayed. He is the most gentile looking Jew I have ever seen in every church portrayl.

Subject: RE: BS: What did Jesus really look like?
From: GUEST,sweet potato
Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:17 PM

So he was circumsized, right? Must have looked like David Bromberg!