BS: St Paticks Day

Subject: BS: St Paticks Day
From: snake19
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 02:34 AM

Happy St Patricks day

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: GUEST,Willy McBoyne
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 02:49 AM

Fuck St Paddies Day. Who cares about it?

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: GUEST,Willy McBoyne
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 02:56 AM

Ireland. A nation of fucking degenerates- and they are proud of the fact! What can you do about them? Still, if there is a Parade in your area, praise the Lord, pass the ammo, and find a secure rooftop position that overlooks the parade.

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: mooman
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 03:48 AM

La Fhéile Pádraig sona daoibh!

(especially to Willy)

Peace

moo

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 03:57 AM

Whose Willy?

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: mooman
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 04:04 AM

McBoyne's willy jOhn!

All the best to you!

moo

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 04:10 AM

I don't know, and I don't care, who cares about St Paddies day, all I know is, it is St. Patricks day and three of us posted at exactly the same time to three different threads. Could this be a sign I ask you?

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 04:45 AM

I just got this in an e-mail from a friend in the States...figured I'd pass it on, since it made me grin..Happy St P's Day!

Three Irishmen and three Englishmen are travelling by train to a football
match in London. At the station, the three English each buy a ticket and watch as
the three Irish buy just one ticket between them.


"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?," asks one of
the English.

"Watch and learn," answers one of the Irish. They all board the train. The
English take their respective seats but all three Irish cram into a toilet and
close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed the conductor arrives to collect the
tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens
just a crack and a

single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.


The English are mightily impressed by this, so after the game, they decide to
copy the Irish on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip...
To their astonishment, the Irish don't buy a ticket at all!!


"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed English.


"Watch and learn..." says one Paddy. When they board the train the three
Irish cram into a toilet and soon after the three English pile into another
nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterwards, one of the Irish leaves the toilet and sneaks across to
the toilet where the English are hiding. He knocks on the door and says,
"Ticket please..."

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 06:14 AM

Ach, Willy McBoyne, you remind me of the auld days when that Isaac McKittery character walked among us, god rest his soul. Things were never the same after he ran off to that hussy in Austrailia.

Have a good one, drown the shamrock, and hope that the sun shines.

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 09:54 AM

Got these in the mail today -

                                                A Little Celtic Humor

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little so and so, O'Conner," says Sean, "he couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight,"

===============================================

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf,"

=========================================

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin'to tell ya."

"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. "There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."

"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."

Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. "Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, no Brenda.. no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee."

=========================================

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father.."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that darn gun...'"

===========================================
AND THE BEST FOR LAST.

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk
just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: RangerSteve
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 09:18 PM

The holiday means nothing to me, but corned beef sells for about half price on starting on the 16th, so I got a big slab and cooked it, along with some colcannon (sp?), which recipe was featured on the Today Show, so thanks to the Irish, I had a very good dinner.

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: LadyJean
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 10:51 PM

Mrs. OGrady went to the doctor and complained, "My husband's got no sex drive. I'm raring to go, but he ain't interested."
"Well," said the doctor, "Why not try Viagra?"
"He won't take the stuff," says Mrs. OGrady.
"Well there's an easy solution to that," says the doctor, "Just put a couple of drops in his coffee. He'll be none the wiser."
A couple of weeks later, Mrs. OGrady is back in the office. "How did the Viagra work?" the doctor asks.
"Oh doctor, it was terrible!" Says Mrs. OGrady. "I put it in his coffee, and he drank it right down. Next thing I know he's got me up on the table, and his pants are down and he's going at it like when we were first married."
"Was he too rough?" the doctor asked.
"No," Mrs. Ogrady said. "The bests sex I ever had in my life. But I'll never be able to show my face in that Starbucks again!"

Father Riley was hearing confessions.
A young woman stopped in, made her confession. After the father absolved her, he said. "Your voice doesn't sound familiar, are you new in town?"
The young woman said, "I'm an acrobat at the fair."
"I'd love to see your routine," says Father Riley.
"I can show you in the churchyard," the young woman said.
So, they went out, and she did her routine for the priest, backflips, hand springs the whole deal.
Two women were on their way to confession when they saw the young woman doing her routine in the churchyard.
"Mother of God!" says one, "Will you look at what the father's giving for pennance!"
"Oh Lord!" says her friend. "And me wearing my dirty old bloomers!"

Not enough good Irish music today. A friend complained that her local station played the London Derriere all day. I would have enjoyed hearing some Chieftains. Oh Well!

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Joe_F
Date: 17 Mar 04 - 11:46 PM

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I've become a prostitute."
"You've become WHAT?"
"A prostitute, Father."
"God be praised! I thought at first you said a Protestant."

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 12:08 AM

On this day I always manage to ask the most important question of all.

Especially if I am standing in my local watering hole (where I usually have to ask it as loudly as possible).

And that question is:

"Does your mother know you're Irish?

slainte,

Tiocfaidh ar la

CB

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 11:18 AM

What is the difference between a St Patrick's Day parade and a Nazi rally? Not a lot. Both celebrate racial identity. Both harken back to a mythical past. Both are racially exclusive. Both are products of 19th Century nationalism.

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Crane Driver
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 04:23 PM

St Patrick, of course, was a Welshman. He was born in the parish of Branwen, near Neath. The Irish merely captured him, and took him with them on the Swansea - Cork ferry. In revenge, he made them dress up in silly green pixie outfits and make total fools of themselves in public. They still haven't placated him.

A trick for St Patrick

Take with you, in two small bottles,
a) a tablespoonful of milk
b) a tablespoonful of lemon juice

Mix the two and pour carefully into the centre of your victim's pint of Guinness. There will be no sign of this until the drinker drains the glass, and discovers a small rubbery blob of congealed milk with yellow-green streaks in it.

Watch his face.

St Patrick will be proud of you.

Andrew

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 Mar 04 - 06:29 PM

Last time I checked my history text, St Pat was a Roman...

Over here his 'day' is nothing more than a money grub, from the beer companies to the bars, down to the musicians...   but it's an excuse for a party... and any excuse will do...

Had me some fun yesterday, and made me a bucket of cash!

Subject: RE: BS: St Paticks Day
From: Big Mick
Date: 19 Mar 04 - 08:11 AM

Clinton, he was Roman only in the same way as most of Europe was, in that he was part of the Roman Empire. I agree that he was likely Welsh.

As to the flamers and trollers, I am sorry for your Irish envy. But don't worry, it will pass as you grow up ..... or maybe it won't and you will just be the same sad and pathetic lumps that you are now. I have an idea, why don't you learn to play an instrument. There you go, it will fill up your days, and empty your wallets.

Mick