BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts

Subject: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 02:29 PM

They oughta be stopped, sez I.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 02:35 PM

Fire hazards, all of 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 02:35 PM

He is a sick man, but he's very safety conscious.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Peace
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 02:36 PM

True though. Lighting them takes all the taste out. Ask Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 02:50 PM

Where's Spaw?

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 03:00 PM

A volatile subject, indeed. Methane-ks I'll pass.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 05:52 PM

The Tokyo Shock Boys used this as part of their Street Entertainment Act in Japan. they cam out to Brisbane for the 1988 Expo and were stunned that Aussies were not at all shocked. Were surprised (shocked) to findout that this Masculine Act was a farily common Pub experience...

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 08:16 PM

The dance of the flaming arseholes was a regular event in many navy ports when matelots had imbibed large quantities of alchohol.

However if it went wrong and the unlucky flamer had to visit to visit the Sickbay the the injury was treated under the 'self inflicted' category.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: ranger1
Date: 17 Apr 04 - 10:01 PM

Me, I'm thinking that this is a male phenomenon. While I am amused by it from afar, I've NEVER felt the need to try it myself!

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: dianavan
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 11:50 AM

ranger 1 - I agree. My brothers used to light farts. I've never seen a female even attempt it. Might have something to do with the anatomy. I know that farts, in general, sound differently depending on the sex of the farter. I have had many discussions with sister/friends regarding this matter.

...and why do men think its so funny to fart in bed and trap their partner by pulling the covers over her head?

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Peace
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 12:04 PM

True, and why is it that women's farts don't smell? I once argued that with my grandmother when I was a lad. Her knuckles on my pate brought me to the realization that human females

1) do NOT fart
2) and if they do, the farts have NO odor

My grandmother has been dead for 37 years, but her lesson lives in my memory and is evidenced by these indentations just below my hairline.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 12:07 PM

Dianavan:

I don't think I have ever tried to trap a partner that way, so maybe "men" don't think it's funny. I don't think women have the necessary motivation to light farts -- they ar emissing the gross-gene.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 12:10 PM

When the methane stinks,
In your neighbourhood,
Who you gonna call
PEST GHOSTERS

When the SBD's*
Are coming really good.
Who you gonna call
PEST GHOSTERS


*SBDs = silent, but deadly's


Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 12:07 AM

Not true, Amos. Never get into a gross-out contest with a female... ANY female. You'll lose hands down.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 09:35 AM

It was all started by MacBeth the Methane of Cawdor and his side kick Will o' the Wisp, and probably set to music by Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames.
PAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP
John

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: ranger1
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 10:13 AM

No, we females aren't missing the gross-gene. We just have a little more regard for the safety of our nether regions!

By the way, Dianavan, I too, have experienced the bed-farting sheet-trapping male. Have exchanged that one for a male that does not find it amusing (and who allows the dog to sleep on the bed). Life is much nicer now.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 10:44 AM

"why is it that women's farts don't smell?"
Who are you trying to kid ? - you've obviously never tried to perform cunnilingus on a flatulent woman !

A young lady who I knew many years ago, used to tell me of some of the things that the girls used to get up to in the dormitories of the girls convent boarding school that she went to. One of them was farting into an empty soft drinks can, putting their thumb over the hole, then placing them on to the polished floor and igniting them. The whoosh of flame could send them skating the whole length of the dorm !

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: ranger1
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 10:55 AM

Which, the girls or the cans?

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 11:09 AM

Obviously none of you have been trapped by a rain or snow storm in a tent with six hunters or soldiers. In one terrible incident last fall, a group of four deer hunters here in Idaho were trapped in a small, but well built, cabin for eighteen hours. After a dinner of cabbage, beans, bratwurst and beer they apparently settled down for some serious cardplaying. Having no canary, they never noticed the change in atmosphere. Then one of them appears to have lit The Fatal Cigar.

The sole survivor, who was found in a ditch eight miles away, was taken after treatment for burns, contusions, bruises, breaks, sprains, and airsickness to St. Dismas' Hospital For The Utterly Hopeless, muttering over and over, "The Horror! A pair of deuces! The Horror!"

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Avril Betts
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 11:30 AM

I wouldn't mind being trapped by a rain or snow storm in a tent with six hunters or soldiers.

I do fart now and again - especially when I've drunk a lot - but I always blame them onto someone else - usually a fellow, they never seem to mind - I think sometimes that they're quite proud of them !

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Tweed
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 05:19 PM

Yas, but whar iz Spaw??

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 12:59 PM

The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind.
John

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: mindblaster
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 11:49 AM

Scotch is a man

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 01:07 PM

Son et lumiere!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Becca72
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 01:33 PM

My former mate was fond of farting in the grocery store...he'd let a really ripe one go and then run by me giggling and wait for me to reach that section of the aisle...which was only funny if no one thought I did it! But never been trapped under the sheets by anyone.

As a female, I only pass gas when I'm alone in the safety of my own home...having said that, I was in bed one night and the urge came upon me. My 4 month old kitten was sitting behind me (up by my back, out of firing range) when the event occurred and he spun around quick as anything and attacked my rear end. It was so funny that I just had to laugh, unfortunately we all know what happens when you laugh really hard when you're gassy...

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: fat B****rd
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 02:39 PM

I've occaasionally pondered the fact that at the start of a new and hopefully steamy relationship lads and lasses will perform all sorts of physical "acts" upon each others private parts but go out of the room to break wind.
I believe it was J.P.Donleavy who coined the phrase "farting terms" to indicate a steady involvement.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: jeffp
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 02:53 PM

One time I was in the fabric shop with Bonnie when she let out a particularly smelly fart. (Gallbladder surgery will increase the frequency and odor of farts.) I told her, "Geez, everybody is going to blame me for that one!" I thought she'd never stop laughing.

She told that story for months.

Jeff

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 03:08 PM

"... bed-farting sheet-trapping male". That is just tooooo sick. It must be as rare as it is perverse. Since Ranger1 said it happened to her, I won't say I don't believe it. Otherwise, I wouldn't.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: jacqui.c
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 03:14 PM

Sorry gnu - I can attest to having suffered one of those too in earlier days.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 04:08 PM

I 'left' one by the CDs in Woolworths one afternoon... the face of the woman who turned the corner next was a picture...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 05:34 PM

Our new dog has a great line in malodorous farts, she managed to fill the bedroom last night. Yeeeeeeeeuuuuuuch.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Mingulay
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 06:17 PM

Our two late and lamented dogs were lying in front of the fire asleep and in line astern. Dog 1 farted very loudly for a small poodle and carried on sleeping. Dog 2 lfted his head, growled and went back to sleep.

Let sleeping dogs...........

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: JennieG
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 04:05 AM

Told to me recently:
Little old lady, during silent prayers in church one day, leaned over and whispered to her husband:
"I farted - it's silent, but a real stinker - do you think anyone will notice?"
He answered: "I think it's time you had the batteries on your hearing aid checked!"

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 04:24 AM

Oh WHY did I open this thread........

..& Mindblaster..."Scotch is a man"...uh?

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 04:41 AM

A guy did this at college and he got blowback, and suffered internal burning. Apparently the important thing is to keep your underpants on.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 09:39 AM

I know a college "frat boy" (now 60+) who told fond tales of Blue Blazers. I never understood the attraction.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Jul 06 - 01:07 PM

It's the sheer flaming cheek of it. Hairy bums are not good for this either...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Jul 06 - 09:43 AM

I went to the doctors complaining about my chronic flatulence. He went to the corner of the room and came back with a big steel hook on a long pole.

Frightened the life out of me.

"What are you going to do with that?" I asked.

"Open the windows," he replied "it stinks in here"

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 04:05 AM

Apparently the important thing is to keep your underpants on.
When an old friend, an experienced sergeant major, was a recruit they used to light their farts after taps in their beds. They stopped this entertainment when the first pyjama was in flames and the poor guy had to be brought to sick station with a burned arse.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: NH Dave
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 05:35 AM

Gnu, it isn't so unique. A friend of mine who was an officer and a gentleman by act of Congress had a perverse sense of humor. Their bedroom was under a slanted ceiling, and his trick was to get into a pseudo philosophic conversation and then mention in passing, "You know, I bet I could spit up to the ceiling, and it would stick."

His wife, knowing where this could end up, would dive under the covers, for protection.

Then he cut the fart!

And they stayed married.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Louie Roy
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 10:10 AM

Women only do bastard farts

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Louie Roy
Date: 28 Jul 06 - 10:49 AM

Another reason when Henry Ford died and went to heaven and met Saint Peter at the gate and Saint Peter asked him what he did on earth and Henry said he made things better than God and Saint Peter said God Made a women and Henry said yes but he got the Exhaust to close to the intake

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 05:18 AM

What's a bastard fart? Is that one that they do and then don't claim?

Limpit does that... even when she's made the windows rattle and you've seen the cheeks of her arse flap, she still disowns it.

She frightened the cat yesterday.... and he was 4 feet away!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Louie Roy
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 10:41 AM

No Liz that's a little Stinker without a POP

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 12:08 PM

Ah.. the good old 'silent & violent' or 'SBD' (silent but deadly) much loved of 'cruisers' and elevator users.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 12:34 PM

You've brought that child up in the tradition Liz, is Paul teaching her to snore?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Pest Ghosters who light farts
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Jul 06 - 07:20 PM

She learnt that all by herself....

LTS