BS: Why are computers so infuriating?

Subject: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: GUEST,lurker
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 05:33 PM

Because they have a secret conspiracy to destroy traditional communication and reduce us to typing wrecks, unable to express emotion.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 05:37 PM

Speak for yourself Lurker, I have seen planty of emotion expressed on Mudcat.

They are infuriating because the bloody things crash and do things on their own while we technopeasants (not fully au fait on pc's) bemused and angry.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 08:25 PM

Because they are essentially two-valued logical devices in the hands of infinity-valued beings, thus driving them mad with inadequacy.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Amergin
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 08:32 PM

I have found that more often than not the problem with computers is located between the keyboard and the chair....

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 09:12 PM

because they are designed by people who majored in computer science because they were more interested in machines than in other people. Then the manuals are written by others who majored in computer science because they couldn't communicate.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Johnny in OKC
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 12:58 AM

Amergin, there's nothing wrong with ME, buddy.

Leeneia has it right.

THEN they were taken over
by Advertising Vultures who bomb you with pop-ups
so fast they cover each other up.

What ever you were working on gets buried.

They are ruining the internet.

If it weren't for Mudcat, I would have unplugged
my modem years ago.

Love, Johnny

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 03:16 AM

Every good resource that modern technology develops gets fucked up fairly quickly with chaos, obfuscation, and advertising.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 03:19 AM

(Kendall)...they crash and do things their way...hell, I had a wife like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 07:46 AM

it is do do with a failure in the interface beween the user and service provider

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 07:50 AM

are wife jokes PC or anything to do with PC's?

come to think about it all my long-term relatioships have been with women who have little interest in technology (let alone comuters) what is that telling me?

Take my wife - please. (Henny Youngman 1953)

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:01 AM

Now you all need to stop all this complaining RIGHT NOW!!!

(My computer's listening)

I LOVE my computer!

My computer is my FRIEND.

It never lets me down.

I wouldn't know what to do without my computer!

(OK, I think it's in the next room watching its favorite soap.)

But just in case...ALL HAIL COMPUTERS!!!

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Pied Piper
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:25 AM

I'm still using my trusty old Atari ST running Cubase and for MIDI stuff it's still shit hot.
As a dyslexic the computer keyboard is a godsend and as a result my spelling has improved dramatically.
Yes computers crash, but unfortunately there is no way to predict or test a program to tell if it will or will not crash. This is a mathematical reality pointed out by Alan Turing, Kurt Gödel and others.

PP

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: artbrooks
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:38 AM

Pop-ups? Never see any. No, my only gripe right now is the support people who don't speak a dialect of English that I can comprehend, and I guess that is my failing rather than their's. The hidden features in software can be challanging sometimes, I admit, but that keeps one mentally alert...you can't have too many lerts, after all.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:07 AM

FUD in the liveware. The computer is, literally, as smart as a light switch.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Strick
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:19 AM

While I'm second to no one in my admiration for the computer, I reserve the right to diparage Microsoft and their bloated, bug ridden products. If someone hadn't already posted the link to Windows RG ("real good"), I would now.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:34 AM

There I was yesterday, I had just completed a set of 30 labels for the library, so I decided to preview before printing. Then it all went black!!

The bloke on the help desk thought it probably crashed cos of the patch/upgrade/whatever it was THEY were doing behind the scenes. But there are 3000 of us in the agency & as far as I'm aware no-one else had a computer that decided to reboot ...

So I just typed them all again.

But apart from that, I couldn't exist without my office computer, & certainly not the dear old laptop I use at home. Where would I be without Mudcat?

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:46 AM

I'll let you know a secret - computers are infuriating because otherwise all us computer technicians , geeks and gurus wouldn't have job security.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:56 AM

Damn, MMario, you've went and left the cat outa the bag! You've spoilt Ye Arte & Mysterye Of Ye Secrete Science!

What will folks think when they finally learn that computers are actually the result of a pact between Geeks and Cluricans? Geeks supply the booze and the cluricans supply the answers (such as they are) and the excitement? Now the WCTU will crack down on the computers, the cluricans will get disgusted and go back the bogs, and all us folks who were on the chess club in high school will have to get manual labor jobs.

Geez! I'm gonna report you for that!

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 10:20 AM

No teeth will such report show, good fellow Rapaire, for there is no word as "clurican", and all reports on such are nounless!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 12:23 PM

Don't listen to them Precious! Pleeeeseee!..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 12:44 PM

As someone who has made computers his profession since 1973, I know the answer to the question posed by this thread. And I feel mellow enough to tell you the truth - but confidentially like, OK?

We build them this way on purpose. It's much more fun watching millions of people get frustrated. We raise their hopes with every new model or software release, when we know that these hopes will be dashed soon enough. And then we'll promise the solution with the next release. And so on.

But we've done a good job, agreed? Look at all of you. And I haven't stopped laughing since 1973. WHOOOOAAAAAHHHAAAAAHHHAAAA...

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 12:48 PM

I am taking my valium now..

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 12:50 PM

Ah, Amos...not exactly.

Now I have to report you, too.

(And the worst part of it all is that a clurican drinks. Oh, lordy, do they drink!)

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 01:12 PM

"Leprechauns sternly declare that cluricauns are none of their own. But some suspect they are really leprechauns on a spree, who, in the sobering morning, deny this double nature. "


There you go -- Rapaire has outsmarted me with an obscure Irish reference. Drunken leprechauns!! Who'lda thunk. But ya learn something every day here on the Cat!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Rasener
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 01:16 PM

El greko
I thought your proffession was music?

The answer is:-

The computers are not infuriating, they are just simple loyal servants who do exactly what you ask them to do.
The beauty of the computer is that you can blame them for everything that goes wrong, kick them, hate them, swear at them, but they never answer back. Not like the missus then!!!!!!

What you need to do is pray to them every morning, go down on your knees and kiss them. Make sure you dont have the power turned on, no plugs in their sockets, monitor on, printer not connected etc etc.Give the keyboard a drink or even a biscuit or piece of toast. Let the fan suck all the dust up just like a vacuum cleaner, make sure you don't have up to date virus software etc etc etc etc

They will do anything you ask of them :-) A bit like the missus then :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:05 AM

I do believe I'd rather be your computer than your missus..;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 06:17 AM

I used to know a computer troubleshooter who LOVED Microsoft......
He drove a Beemer.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 08:56 AM

He drove a Beemer and he loved Microsoft? Isn't that the classic definition of a double looser?

I used to tell people that the computer was possessed because daemons dwelt therein, but they didn't believe me. However, it was and is quite true and any Unix geek will affirm what I've said. (Well, maybe they won't, just so they can be difficult, but it is true.)

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:05 AM

of course it's true! Which is why frequently the boxes will work perfectly when a tech is there - but not when the user is alone. the daemons KNOW that the techs are onto them!

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:11 AM

We of the Song Challenge Mystery Clique have long since been there and done that!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:15 AM

Absolutely true. In fact, we often raised the daemons, sometimes more than once a day. I still remember the invocations and sacrifices, the so-called "flow chart" energy diagrams, the atheame, the pentacle, and all of it. Then I went over to the Dark Side and now I'm in management.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 03:56 AM

Rapaire, would you really say that someone who was in perpetual well-paid employment, and drove a 7-series BMW (when he wasn't working) was a loser?
Or is 'looser' a deliberate spelling. He WAS pretty relaxed about the future....

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 12:27 PM

Q. "would you really say that someone who was in perpetual well-paid employment, and drove a 7-series BMW (when he wasn't working) was a loser?"

A. Quite possibly. Maybe he has no one to love. Maybe he beats his dog. Maybe he doesn't like music. Maybe he has pierced his bellybutton in a pathetic attempt to get sex. There are a thousand ways such a person could be a loser.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Mark Clark
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 03:51 PM

Since El Greko has joined the computing profession only recently—many years after I myself took up the trade—it's understandable that he got the wrong misunderstanding [sic]. The problem is that most of you were not intended to have access to a computer in the first place. When ENIAC was first turned on in 1945, John von Neumann is said to have opined that “If ten such computers could be built, they could perform all the calculations that mankind would ever need.” Keep in mind that ENIAC, while 200 ft. long, was slightly less powerful than your wristwatch.

The idea that everyone ought to have one of these blasted things was instigated by a bunch of anti-social geeks known as phone phreaks. They were building devices to rip off the phone company and when they realized that the components to assemble an inexpensive digital computer were already on the market, they couldn't resist the challenge. This group became known as hackers. Computers were (quite rightly <g>) the domain of highly-trained engineers and access was carefully limited by giant corporations and major universities. The hackers, in the best traditions of the counter culture, thought everyone ought to have access to a computer.

You are a victim of the counter culture.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: tartan babe
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 04:41 PM

hee hee!
you guys need to be using mac's
So much easier for the layman/woman to use!

:-p
TB

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 04:48 PM

Computers aren't infuriating. They're GREAT! And computer geeks are some of the best people.

MMario, not so much job security these days. At least not in the US. Most of the good jobs seem to be emigrating to India.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 10:47 PM

Sorry, I spelled it wrong. Correctly spelled, it's luser.

Subject: RE: BS: Why are computers so infuriating?
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 09:57 AM

Amergin has given the right answer. With a little digital mathemathics you can handle some problems yourself.
A computer is a machine which sometimes breaks down and has to be mended (same with cars, radios &c.).
Handling a modern library system without it nowadays seems impossible (30 years ago I worked with card catalogues - oh my God!)
When computers are infected with worms and virusses it is not their guilt, but of some sick hacker brains.
And remember: no PC, no web - no web, no Mudcat!

Wilfried