BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?

Subject: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: GUEST,Delilah Bounce
Date: 05 May 04 - 06:50 PM

You Da Babe Test !

One for you hot girls!!! Check to see if you're a Bitchin' Babe...


1. In the company of other females, intercourse with men should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking
B. Taking Homer for all he's got.
C. Screwing the pooch.

2. You should make love to a man for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B. Your blood-test results
C. Eight tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm(s) so that:
A. Your partner climaxes second.
B. Your partner climaxes eighth.
C. Your partner gets left with a painful set of blue balls and no orgasm at all, and you get his
credit card and car keys.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play
B. Not the sort of thing you would agree to
C. Okay as long as you get away with his credit card and his car keys.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a man you've just had sex with
is:
A. The best part of the experience
B. The second best part of the experience
C. Downright pointless. Dump the idiot as soon as he falls asleep and find another idiot.

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Not true. She looks great.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A very conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. Ripe for the picking.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. Appetiser is to entree
B. Primer is to paint
C. False propaganda is to re-election. Both expedient and enjoyable.

Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
at the end of a relationship?
A. 'I hope we can still be friends'
B. 'You useless fuckhead! I hope you die miserably!'
C. 'Welcome to Dumpsville, population: YOU.   Oh...and I've had better, to put it mildly.'

10. A man who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs his mommy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have spent that $500 bucks on you in the first place.

EVALUATING RESULTS:


If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check under your blouse to make sure you really ARE a
woman!!


If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused.


If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, 'YOU DA BABE'

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 04 - 07:57 PM

Looks like "da man" has met his match... (shudder)

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Peace
Date: 05 May 04 - 08:00 PM

If I answer ten Cs, will I get to at least meet Little Hawk's goat?

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: CarolC
Date: 05 May 04 - 08:04 PM

They deserve each other too, LH, don't you think?

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 04 - 08:05 PM

Unquestionably. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 05 May 04 - 08:56 PM

;^P

Let the fireworks begin! It's a match made in... well... it was SO serendipitous when they met... Let's throw 'em a party, and take notes... plenty of songs for everyone here!
ttr

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Bobert
Date: 05 May 04 - 09:03 PM

Hey, I didn't even take this little quiz but just fir the record, I demand a recount...

Bobert, (alias "Not the Babe")

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 04 - 01:57 AM

I'm puzzled. Why are the Mudcat women not flocking to this thread to take the test? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: dianavan
Date: 06 May 04 - 02:09 AM

I don't want to take the test because I might discover that I'm 'Da Babe' that needs therapy. Wait a minute - I know several men who could pass as women if they only had to check under their shirt for confirmation.

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: CarolC
Date: 06 May 04 - 03:57 PM

I can't imagine why I would want to, LH. Did you take the "are you Da Man" quiz?

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:01 PM

Not exactly. I read it, and then laughed for a while.

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: GUEST,Shlio
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:18 PM

I didn't get 7 of any answer - am I normal?

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:24 PM

Shlio:

The test is smart enough to know you aren't gonna pass the physical!

A

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: GUEST,Noddy
Date: 06 May 04 - 04:29 PM

Schlio - That's odd. Maybe you are just "a Babe" but not "Da Babe".

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: GUEST,emily rain
Date: 06 May 04 - 06:41 PM

1. D: getting laid
2. D: at least three months of white-knuckled celibacy
3. D: timing? what is this thing called timing?
4. D: gritty, but what the hell
5. D: impossible; i need my beauty rest
6. D: "thank god; i was beginning to worry about you."
7. D: dangerous unless accompanied by three confirmed references, both personal and professional
8. D: rose is to rose
9. B
10.D: needs to get off his ass and pitch in

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: GUEST,Da Babe
Date: 06 May 04 - 06:53 PM

Blowjob Etiquette
for Men!

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated
to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video
you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the
top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had
been done. And additionally, do you really
WANT puke on your dick?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER
OK to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head -
I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't
feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone
with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair
from my teeth, don't tell me I've just
"wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behaviour
to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best
not to speculate about the origins of our
talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy
that we're good at it. See also rule #2
about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to
either sympathize or brag.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up
does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: GUEST,emily rain
Date: 06 May 04 - 06:55 PM

After taking this quiz, you:
A. are a little distressed by your answers
B. are a little turned on by your answers
C. KNOW you da babe, regardless of what your answers were

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: GUEST,emily rain
Date: 06 May 04 - 07:01 PM

oh! i changed my mind:

3. E: your partner climaxes first, leaving him both grateful and weak-willed, so now the party can really begin...

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: GUEST
Date: 06 May 04 - 07:32 PM

There will now be a short interlude.

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: Bobert
Date: 06 May 04 - 11:23 PM

Ahhhhhh, no comment....

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: So...Are you 'Da Babe'?
From: dianavan
Date: 07 May 04 - 01:25 AM

Guest, Da Babe - You are Da Babe! :>)