BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith

Subject: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 May 04 - 12:30 PM

Yes, it's another glorious poem by William McGonagall. Having once read through it I'm sure you will agree that you now have a burning desire to avoid the River of Leith...

THE RIVER OF LEITH
by William McGonagall

As I stood upon the Dean Bridge and viewed the beautiful scenery,
I felt fascinated and my heart was full of glee,
And I exclaimed in an ecstasy of delight,
In all my travels I never saw such a sight.

The scenery is so enchanting to look upon
That all tourists will say, "Dull care, be gone."
'Tis certainly a most lovely spot,
And once seen it can never be forgot.

Then away! away! to the River of Leith,
That springs from the land of heather and heath,
And view the gorgeous scenery on a fine summer day.
I'm sure it will drive dull care away.

The water-fall near the Bridge is most beautiful to be seen,
As it falls and shines like crystal in the sunsheen;
And the sound can be heard all day long,
While the innocent trouts sing an aquatic song.

The glen is a cool spot in the summer time.
There the people can be shaded from the sunshine
Under the spreading branches of the big trees,
And there's seats there to rest on if they please.

Then near St. Bernard's Well there's a shady bower,
Where the lovers, if they like, can spend an hour;
And while they rest there at their ease
They can make love to each other if they please.

The water of St. Bernard's Well is very nice,
But to get a drink of it one penny is the price.
I think in justice the price is rather high,
To give a penny for a drink when one feels dry.

The braes of the River Leith is most charming to be seen,
With its beautiful trees and shrubberies green,
And as the tourist gazes on the river in the valley below,
His heart with joy feels all aglow.

There the little trouts do sport and play
During the live-long summer day,
While the bee and butterfly is on the wing,
And with the singing of birds the glen doth ring.

The walk underneath the Dean Bridge is lovely to see.
And as ye view the scenery it will fill your heart with glee.
It is good for the people's health to be walking there
As they gaze on the beauties of Nature and inhale pure air.

The Dean Bridge is a very magnificent sight,
Because from the basement it is a great height.
And it seems most attractive to the eye,
And arrests the attention of strangers as they pass by.

The braes of Belgrave Crescent is lovely to see,
With its beautiful walks and green shrubbery.
'Tis health for the people that lives near by there
To walk along the bonny walks and breathe the sweet air.

Therefore all lovers of the picturesque, bo advised by me
And the beautiful scenery of the River Leith go and see,
And I am sure you will get a very great treat,
Because the River of Leith scenery cannot be beat.



(Right....what really surprises me is his passage about the "lovers"..."while they rest there at their ease
They can make love to each other if they please", but I'm sure he didn't mean it literally. I think the expression was used a little differently at that time. He was probably referring to a chaste display of affection, nothing more. Away! Away! To the River of Leith! Be still, my heaving pectorals...)

Subject: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 May 04 - 02:52 PM

Yes, it's another glorious poem by William McGonagall. Having once read through it I'm sure you will agree that you now have a burning desire to avoid the River of Leith and surrounding area at all cost...

THE RIVER OF LEITH
by William McGonagall

As I stood upon the Dean Bridge and viewed the beautiful scenery,
I felt fascinated and my heart was full of glee,
And I exclaimed in an ecstasy of delight,
In all my travels I never saw such a sight.

The scenery is so enchanting to look upon
That all tourists will say, "Dull care, be gone."
'Tis certainly a most lovely spot,
And once seen it can never be forgot.

Then away! away! to the River of Leith,
That springs from the land of heather and heath,
And view the gorgeous scenery on a fine summer day.
I'm sure it will drive dull care away.

The water-fall near the Bridge is most beautiful to be seen,
As it falls and shines like crystal in the sunsheen;
And the sound can be heard all day long,
While the innocent trouts sing an aquatic song.

The glen is a cool spot in the summer time.
There the people can be shaded from the sunshine
Under the spreading branches of the big trees,
And there's seats there to rest on if they please.

Then near St. Bernard's Well there's a shady bower,
Where the lovers, if they like, can spend an hour;
And while they rest there at their ease
They can make love to each other if they please.

The water of St. Bernard's Well is very nice,
But to get a drink of it one penny is the price.
I think in justice the price is rather high,
To give a penny for a drink when one feels dry.

The braes of the River Leith is most charming to be seen,
With its beautiful trees and shrubberies green,
And as the tourist gazes on the river in the valley below,
His heart with joy feels all aglow.

There the little trouts do sport and play
During the live-long summer day,
While the bee and butterfly is on the wing,
And with the singing of birds the glen doth ring.

The walk underneath the Dean Bridge is lovely to see.
And as ye view the scenery it will fill your heart with glee.
It is good for the people's health to be walking there
As they gaze on the beauties of Nature and inhale pure air.

The Dean Bridge is a very magnificent sight,
Because from the basement it is a great height.
And it seems most attractive to the eye,
And arrests the attention of strangers as they pass by.

The braes of Belgrave Crescent is lovely to see,
With its beautiful walks and green shrubbery.
'Tis health for the people that lives near by there
To walk along the bonny walks and breathe the sweet air.

Therefore all lovers of the picturesque, be advised by me
And the beautiful scenery of the River Leith go and see,
And I am sure you will get a very great treat,
Because the River of Leith scenery cannot be beat.



(Ri-i-i-i-i-ght! What really surprises me is his passage about the "lovers"..."while they rest there at their ease
They can make love to each other if they please", but I'm sure he didn't mean it literally. I think the expression was used a little differently at that time. He was probably referring to a chaste public display of fond affection, nothing more. Away! Away! To the River of Leith! Be still, my heaving pectorals...)

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 May 04 - 02:55 PM

Sorry, I misread that as 'the BRAS of Leith' - surely they're worth seeing?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 04 - 02:59 PM

You, sir, are a miscreant and a public offender. You have no right to wreak such havoc on our poor innocent eyes and minds. It is uncalled for, undeserved, cruel and excessive, sadistic and malicious abuse of the reading public.

You and your babble-headed hero should be taken out and shot or locked up on a lonely moor with only dried Spanish moss to eat and a cold wind to rhyme with. I spit in your direction. Pttshthth!

A

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 May 04 - 03:07 PM

So...I take it this means that your dull care has not been driven away?

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Wolfgang
Date: 19 May 04 - 04:55 PM

Why do you use the BS tag instead of Lyr add?

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 May 04 - 04:56 PM

Ummmm...well...I'm not sure.

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 19 May 04 - 06:05 PM

Having read it, I'd vote for the river of Lethe, as an antidote.

Kitty

But I fear the Braes of Belgrave Crescent will haunt me, nonetheless.

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 19 May 04 - 06:08 PM

And we have thread duplication, which Joe or a clone probably ought to remedy.

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 04 - 06:20 PM

This is disgusting and an offense against decent minds. You should be excommunicated for this travesty; you and your hero should be taken out and hung from a lamppost. Pttpttuui!

A

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 19 May 04 - 07:26 PM

Well I doubt that this Most Awfulest of Rhymmings is spoken (chanted, rather don't you think? and never SUNG!) upon the banks of the river Leith!?!

There once was a busker named Keith
Sang this song of the fair river Leith
He vanished one day
And I sadly must say
His torso was was found in a heath.

(apologies to Edward Gory)

CB

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 May 04 - 08:02 PM

Amos, you really need to get a job. Either that or a good therapist. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 04 - 08:22 PM

Let me get this straight, George. You spend your free time deliberately looking for the worst possible poetry in the world and even subscribing to sites which agree to email you the worst poetry in the world, poetry so bad that it cannot even amuse, will never inspire, cannot enlighten, adds to ugliness in the world rather than beauty, does not uplift, makes a mockery of aesthetics and promotes mediocrity of the worst sort.

Then you use more of your free time placing this poetry on a broadcast forum so that all these people whom you have convinced should be in a friendly relationship with you will expose themselves to this literary sewage. Predictably, having had my aesthetic sensibiulities raped and abraded, I register a protest.

And you have the uncompromising effrontery to imply that I am the one who needs therapy???

Sir, you are sociopathic! Go to, go to!

A

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: GUEST,Billy
Date: 20 May 04 - 03:33 AM

Little Hawk, I would be wrong to claim that McGonigal was a great poet but I must correct your assumption that Leith and The Water of Leith are the same thing.
Leith (as of the Leith poleith) is the dockland town to the north of Edinburgh.
The Water of Leith is a stream that meanders through Edinburgh to meet the North Sea at Leith.
Dean Village is an area of greater Edinburgh half a mile or so northwest of the west end of Princes Street (the castle is on Princes St). modern map here
Telfer's bridge over the Water of Leith at Dean Village is where McGonigal's poem is set. Old map and pics of Dean Bridge and St. Bernard's Well

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Hrothgar
Date: 20 May 04 - 05:42 AM

Is he just leading us up the socio path?

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Davetnova
Date: 20 May 04 - 06:22 AM

Having been born in Leith I would like to point out that the Dean Bridge referred to by McGonagall is not in fact in Leith ( an exceptionally nice place) but several miles upriver on the Water of Leith in a place called Stockbridge.

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 May 04 - 09:02 AM

I am not implying it, Amos. I am stating it bluntly and in no uncertain terms. Far be it from me to merely imply. You may, however, infer from what I have said whatever you wish to infer, but don't accuse me of implying anything! :-)

I find McGonagall fascinating, because he obviously took himself so dead seriously and went all over the place torturing people with his "poetry". I think this is damnably funny and I wish I could have witnessed it in person and applauded vigorously...or thrown tomatoes. Hmmm...maybe I was there in a previous life?

Or...Good God!....could it be that I WAS William McGonagall in a previous life????? Ack! This is a disturbing thought. If so, I am a far better poet now.

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 20 May 04 - 11:51 AM

One of my favorite McGonagall poems is The Tay Bridge Disaster.   The late John Laurie made a superb recording as "The Great McGonagall".

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 20 May 04 - 07:04 PM

Until LH started this thread, and the previous one about unjustly aspersed canine culpability, I had been happily ignorant of McGonagall poems apart from the Tay Bridge Disaster, which is probably the one for which he is most famous. The tragedy was caused by inept engineering, but the inept poetry compounded the disaster.

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: GUEST,darkriver (no cookie)
Date: 20 May 04 - 09:07 PM

Kitty,

I like your comment. Reminds me of one critic speaking about the Tay Bridge Disaster poem: "in his hands grammar and syntax themselves sicken and die, and add to the litter of corpses."

Doesn't get any better than that.

Doug

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: GUEST,Clint Keller
Date: 21 May 04 - 01:05 AM

I am told that the Leith police dismisseth us, but it has been referred to only obliquely here...

clint

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 21 May 04 - 02:33 AM

I pointed out that the Leith police dismisseth us, in an addition to the other "More good reasons" thread... for some mysterious reason the posts before mine have disappeared from that thread, so it now appears that I started the other thread!

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: GUEST,Clint Keller
Date: 21 May 04 - 12:45 PM

Oh. Thorry.

cliint

Subject: RE: BS: More good reasons not to visit Leith
From: GUEST,Billy
Date: 21 May 04 - 05:43 PM

Herga, when I posted after you and Davetnova it was still on this thread. Somehow those three posts disassociated themselves from the original thread and took on a life of their own.