BS: And I name this child.....What????

Subject: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 02:37 AM

Just saw this and if Jade and I get round to having sprogs then I have some untried names.....

Japan gets set for the Buttocks generation
By Colin Joyce in Tokyo
(Filed: 27/07/2004)


Japanese parents have been given government permission to name their children "Buttocks" or "Prostitute" if they wish after a bizarre row over expanding the list of officially acceptable names.

Japan's system of writing, which has evolved from ancient Chinese script, was simplified after the Second World War when the government abolished thousands of characters.

In recent years, however, the authorities in Tokyo have been under pressure to reinstate obscure and archaic characters so that more interesting and original names can be created.

Traditional ones such as Hanako, a girl's name meaning "Flower Child", and Manabu, a boy's name meaning "Studious", have fallen out of favour.

As a result, the justice ministry proposed an additional 578 characters for names, but included dozens that most parents might view as poor taste, such as "Piles", "Vagina" and "Slur".

A language review panel working for the ministry had initially decided that it was not its place to make moral judgments on characters - instead leaving it up to parents to exercise their own common sense.

But this week, the ministry said public pressure had forced it to withdraw nine of the most controversial characters, including "Rape", "Excrement" and "Cancer".

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 04:00 AM

Wow the mind boggles. To think that someone with the potential of Martin Gibson could be born there now and end up with such a name. It would be difficult to accept. Be Blessed.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: GUEST,Excrement Piles
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 04:07 AM

I agree, you should not give your children silly names!

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 04:49 AM

My friends, Ghengis McCann, Teresa Greeen, and Wayne Kerr agree.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: GUEST,weerover
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 04:52 AM

Also Pete Moss, Pete Moore, Pete Burns and Juan Kerr.

wr.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 09:12 AM

Hey, my given name translates from the Hebrew as "Who Is Like God".

Well, of course I knew I was....

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: GUEST,Fly-fornication Jones
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 09:25 AM

There's nothing wrong with the old names.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: el ted
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 09:37 AM

hey, my given name translates as "hung like a horse and goes like train, satisfaction guaranteed"

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: GUEST,mack/misophist
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 09:42 AM

Dear Rapaire:

You forgot the question mark.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 09:55 AM

Reminds me of the story of the the twin babies, adopted at birth to different families. One going to a Jordanian couple who named their adoptive son, Amaal; the other being adopted by a Latina family who named their son Juan.

Years later the natural mother traveled many miles to visit the Latina family and check on the progress of her son. When the boy's adoptive parents asked if she was going to also visit her other son, she replied, "No, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amaal."

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 10:11 AM

Mike borrowed that from a famous play -- "Amahl and the Night Soil"....

A

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 12:15 PM

...that there can even BE an official government panel which decides what names/characters are 'allowed' tell me something about that culture.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Kim C
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 12:42 PM

"Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 01:04 PM

France also used to have an approved names list, I remember hearing about a woman who named her children after mythological characters, and was refused child benefit.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: GUEST,Richard
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 01:20 PM

I believe there was a French girl called "Sanctity". Why would they call her that

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Metchosin
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 02:42 PM

Maybe she really did have four.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Metchosin
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 02:45 PM

er, five perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Metchosin
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 02:47 PM

s'all right, I really, really do have trouble with numbers, even in English.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: MARINER
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 03:14 PM

Thre's a young lad living not far from me, the son of a musician, who carries the first name Latido! (LA-TI-DO)Geddit?

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: GUEST,Blackcatter
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 03:38 PM

As screwed up as the US is, I can't imagine a living in a place that would even care what I named my kids.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 04:33 PM

David and Victoria Beckham called their first child "Brooklyn" because he was conceived there. Imagine the problem if he had been conceived in Wales say at....Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
He would fail all exams due to time taken to write his own name.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 04:33 PM

Sanctity could be one of the ecclesiastical names that were popular in Britain about 200 years ago, particularly if the family is Catholic. Examples from the UK, circa 1820 include Chastity, Grace, Charity, Hope, Faith.... Catholic names include Constanzia, Assumpta, Conceptiona, Virgine, get the drift?

Beats the heck out of Chardonnay, Chelsee, Sharalee, Britnee and Courtnee that seem to be all the rage now.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Megan L
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 04:45 PM

dont know the spelling but Welsh friend called her children eifen and serise, told her never to brin them to Glasgow where mothers call the children in from the street she couldnt understand why i said nextone would be called diaster

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 06:27 PM

In my case, there is no question about it.



My wife's cousin in Cork is named Assumpta.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 08:53 PM

About now, I expect Hrothgar to turn up with his recitation of the famous Aussie poem about The Naming of McGinnis....

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 10:46 PM

Well, let's see:

Moon Unit. Dweezle. Free. River Phoenix. Shall I continue?

Of course, there were also:

Young Man Afraid Of His Horses. Crazy Horse. Red Cloud. White Man Runs Him. Gall. Iron Eyes Cody. And others.

Dana Stabenow writes of an Alaskan harbormaster (white) who was so taken with the ways of the American Indians that he fasted and named himself for the first thing that happened to him when he came out of his fast; he ended up with name "Shitting Seagull." Fictional, but I find it utterly believable.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 12:03 AM

All right, seeing as Hrothgar doesn't seem to be around right now, here it is:

A BUSH CHRISTENING - A.B. "Banjo" Paterson

On the outer Barcoo where the churches are few,
        And men of religion are scanty,
On a road never cross'd 'cept by folk that are lost,
        One Michael Magee had a shanty.

Now this Mike was the dad of a ten-year-old lad,
        Plump, healthy, and stoutly conditioned;
He was strong as the best, but poor Mike had no rest
        For the youngster had never been christened,

And his wife used to cry, "If the darlin' should die
        Saint Peter would not recognise him."
But by luck he survived till a preacher arrived,
        Who agreed straightaway to baptise him.

Now the artful young rogue, while they held their collogue,
        With his ear to the keyhole was listenin',
And he muttered in fright while his features turned white,
        "What the divil and all is this christenin'?"

He was none of your dolts, he had seen them brand colts,
        And it seemed to his small understanding,
If the man in the frock made him one of the flock,
        It must mean something very like branding.

So away with a rush he set off for the bush,
        While the tears in his eyelids they glistened-
"'Tis outrageous," says he, "to brand youngsters like me,
        I'll be dashed if I'll stop to be christened!"

Like a young native dog he ran into a log,
        And his father with language uncivil,
Never heeding the "praste" cried aloud in his haste,
        "Come out and be christened, you divil!"

But he lay there as snug as a bug in a rug,
        And his parents in vain might reprove him,
Till his reverence spoke (he was fond of a joke)
        "I've a notion," says he, "that'll move him."

"Poke a stick up the log, give the spalpeen a prog;
        Poke him aisy-don't hurt him or maim him,
'Tis not long that he'll stand, I've the water at hand,
        As he rushes out this end I'll name him.

"Here he comes, and for shame! ye've forgotten the name-
        Is it Patsy or Michael or Dinnis?"
Here the youngster ran out, and the priest gave a shout-
        "Take your chance, anyhow, wid 'Maginnis'!"

As the howling young cub ran away to the scrub
        Where he knew that pursuit would be risky,
The priest, as he fled, flung a flask at his head
        That was labelled "Maginnis's Whisky!"

And Maginnis Magee has been made a J.P.,
        And the one thing he hates more than sin is
To be asked by the folk who have heard of the joke,
        How he came to be christened "Maginnis"!

The Bulletin, 16 December 1893.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Flash Company
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 07:36 AM

This probably should be a new thread, but Arthur Askey used to do a son called The Christening which began:-

At our church last Sunday morn,
Hush are you listening, we had a christening,
Little pink kid all small brand new
And it was some christening too!

Can't remember all the rest, anyone know it?

FC

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 08:11 AM

Thanks JennyO, for allowing the rest of the world to see one of the classics of Aussie Literature.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 04:44 PM

is that Michael Rapaire?

i Did Know a Harry Savage in high school
(and there was a Harry Dick in Lethbridge)

even my friend Graham Bell said it took a while to forgive
his parents.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Rasener
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 05:02 PM

So if you have a son, then you should call him Willy.
If he has a big yun then Willy Connelly

Likewise if you have a daughter then you should call it Fanny
If she has a big yun then Fanny Connelly


get the drift - has anybody got a warped sense of humour, and if so what can you come up with?

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Blackcatter
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 06:12 PM

There was a kid in my high school called Jesus Vasquez. His nickname was Zeus, but few knew it since, being in the south most of his friends would say to him: "Hey Zeus!"

There was another guy who's name was Cleveland Gary. He went on to play as a tailback for the Los Angeles Rams. I've always thought it was odd that he was named after two rust-belt cities.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Celtaddict
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 08:34 PM

I went to school with John Potts (or Johnny), named by his father, Clay Potts. We also had Cyclone Covey.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 10:58 PM

Merry Christmas went to the public high school during my time.

And my mother knew a girl name Pellegra. The girl's mother thought it a pretty name for a girl.

My last name isn't Rapaire; but I'm in the Profiles. If you're going to send money I'll provide an address. If you're going to send a supeona or a bill, I'll send a false address.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Flash Company
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 09:26 AM

My last place of employ had two staff members called Norman Bates (Everyone always said'How's your Mum' when he answered the 'phone)
and Don Caddick (No comment necessary!)

FC

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Padre
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 10:11 AM

In the eighth grade, we had a student transfer in during the year. Her name was Fonda Peters. The raging hormone brigade (just about every 13 year-old boy in the school)went wild at that name. Her father was transferred the next year.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 11:21 AM

El Ted - hey, my given name translates as "hung like a horse and goes like train, satisfaction guaranteed"

Like a horse in the knacker's yard attached to a hook.

Runs like a train on our privatised rail network - infrequently, always late and often breaks down.

Satisfies everyone that he's a stupid pillock.

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: mooman
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 11:35 AM

As Giok mentioned for France, Belgium also has an "approved names" list. I don't think it is as permissive as the Japanese one although I have occasionally (OK, every day!) called some Belgian drivers by their Japanese-equivalent names.

Peace

moo

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 12:07 PM

I was once working at an office, and two customers stopped by to pick up some medicine. One guy told me that the other guy had just become a dad. I gushed and said nice things, then asked, "And what did you name the baby?" The new dad said, "Titus Elijah." To which I laughed and asked, "You're joking, aren't you?" The first guy shook his head and said, "No."

I've put my foot in my mouth many, many times, but now I just prepare for unusual names and am never shocked.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 12:37 PM

"We want to christen our son Upton Charles."
"You do? You know when he's a teenager everyone will call him Up Chuck, don't you?"

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: Fergie
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 04:08 PM

A musician friend of mine named John Cleere at his wedding said that if he had a son he would call him Lauden after Lauden Wainwright III and if he had a daughter he would call her Crystal after Crystal Gayle. It took a little while for the guests to get the joke

And then there was the couple named Eileen Over and Ulick McGee. (maybe you have to be Irish to get the last one)
Ferg

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 10:32 PM

So where's Ben Dover? He says his name is his profession you know.

Subject: RE: BS: And I name this child.....What????
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 09:04 PM

I reckon this says it all......

Cheers
JennieG