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BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages
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Subject: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 22 Aug 04 - 01:21 AM We do already have threads on Scams from Nigeria, etc. This thread is devoted to some of the gems that appear in my inbox. Sadly, I don't have time to read them all, most of them just get trashed by Mailwasher unopened, but occasionally I do skim the contents of some of them - Mailwasher lets you do this without previewing anything but the text (ASCII text only) & the headers. It ignores images, links etc. I'll start off with one that represents the style of gibberish intended to pretend to be real messages in the hope that anti-spam scanners will think it is a genuine message - but they don't fool Mailwasher! The punctuation has only been slightly changed - occasionally... We could have a song challenge related to some of this gibberish - "Your Red Scarf matches Your Eyes" is an old song of that ILK! ~~~~~~ Any earring can sanitise related to toothpick, but it takes a real bride to behind line dancer. When you see beyond CEO, it means that living with CEO self-flagellates. Bubble defined by tornado - ignore tuba player near pickup truck. Graduate from hand around. ~~~~ Well.... Creativity is a truly terrifying thing - this almost makes sense to me. Where is that room with all those monkeys and typewriters? Chongo, all is forgiven... Or is it really just coded messages from the Taliban? The CIA has to be picking up SOMETHING that they call 'chatter'.... If 'trousers' is code for 'weapons' or 'false pasports', god alone knows what it really means... Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 22 Aug 04 - 01:26 AM And here's a nice bit of, er, well, Poetry? Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door. This is it, and nothing more. In other Parts it leaves wide sandy Plains; That he could hear, like a sentinel's tread, Loveliest of trees the cherry now Is hung with bloom along the bough. Only a few lines advertising some crap that I wasn't interested in buy to enhance my Member (The politicians get paid enough now, I think!) were deleted, as the spoiled the flow of the, er, poetry.... Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Little Robyn Date: 22 Aug 04 - 05:01 AM Dear Sir, Sequel to the secretive arrangement in regards of the shipment of your contract sum, I wish to inform you that all necessary modalities have been automatically concluded and have left Nigeria to London via your Country today by Express Cargo Flight. WOT? Not me! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 22 Aug 04 - 09:48 AM When we were setting up the Yahoo list for our folk club ("we" does not mean I had anything to do with it, Chris was doing it all, I received a message from him regarding the technicalities of the list. I would have clicked on the attachment if the spammer had written in English. Fortunately the body of the message was 4 random words that did not make sense, so I never accessed my password & found out how the list worked. I wish I could remember the words. Chris also received an identical message from me & immediately deleted it. When he was setting up the list several spammers joined & were no doubt disappointed to find that they could not send messages, so it was probably one of them who sent the messages And I still don't understand how I am the listowner (or whatever my title) & what we do to send messages to the fans of Sydney's best acoustic venue. Long live Listmaster Chris. sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 22 Aug 04 - 12:52 PM I am particularly in awe of the wisdom of spammers who attempt to circumvent spam filters by respelling frequently filtered words. I have told my spam filtering software that I do not wish to receive any messages which contain the words "enlarge" or "penis". So, the wise spammers send me messages asking if I want to "e*n*l*a*r*g*e" my "PENI$" as if, in a moment of weakness, I would forget that penis enlargement is not very high on my list of priorities. Now, if I were a marketer of any kind I would be inclined toward trying to get my message in front of people who are at least somewhat likely to respond to it, not people who have already said that they are not interested. And the fact that someone has told spam-blocking software that they don't want to receive messages about "Viagra" probably means there's a 99.999% chance that they also don't wish to receive messages about "V!agra", so I'm not going to waste my time trying to trick them. But, hey, what do I know? I've never claimed to be a wise person. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: s6k Date: 22 Aug 04 - 06:15 PM all i have to say is F**K OFF SPAM |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 22 Aug 04 - 06:26 PM Thank you for that contribution, but 1) there isn't much wisdom in that, it's just obvious... 2) it didn't have anything to do with the contents of individual, or generic Spam Messages. Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Aug 04 - 07:07 PM You 2 can have a l@rger P*E*N*I*S in 3 daze plus receive a LO-intere$t l-o-a-n on a new Mortg@ge and achieve astonishing W-eig*t l@ss accompani3d by a fre-e gallon of V!agra and a miracle hare grower that will guarantee a more vibrant S-E-X-X-X life with n*ked stewardesses!!! Also get perscripshun drugs like Vanex and Librimot for 30% off and a F&R&E&E vakation in Cancun and a new wardrobe autographed by Britney Spears! Then send away for a mail order diploma in nuclear physics, engineering or law at a nominal fee that will surprise you, and EARN BIG BUCK$$$$! You can inlarge your B-R-ests to 3 times their present sieeeze with *MAJESTIC IMPLANTS*, autogrpahed by Suzanne Somers! Buyeeee now, payeeee lader! Then get new SPAM-BLOCKER and stop ALL SPAM MESSAGES DEAD IN THIER TRACKS! Limitteed time offffer only! Online CA$$ino is waiting for you at loseyershirt.com!!! This is not an ad! This is a message from God! Be sure to click on all links NOW. This opportunaty will expire soon. VEry soon! Don't hesitate! Click the link NOW. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Pogo Date: 22 Aug 04 - 07:11 PM I like spam...It tastes great on a cracker Or as I like to say " I'm pink...therefore I'm Spam " |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 22 Aug 04 - 07:39 PM Little Hawk, just what do you do for a living? You seem to be a natural... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Aug 04 - 07:46 PM Yeah. :-) Well, I'm observant. I think it would be kind of fun to send out ads for a casino at loseyershirt.com and see how many people actually responded. Quite a few, I figure. I'm going to go and see if there really is such a site... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Aug 04 - 07:55 PM Well, well... loseyourshirt.com They spelled it right, that's the only difference. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 22 Aug 04 - 08:05 PM So you can still get yours... :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 22 Aug 04 - 08:10 PM Wow! The domain name's for sale if we can just offer 'em enough money! And, meanwhile, loseyourass.com is "coming soon"! Gee. Wonder what it'll be about. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Sorcha Date: 22 Aug 04 - 08:11 PM Little Hawk, you forgot Mortgages..... and loans...LOL |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Aug 04 - 08:47 PM No I didn't, Sorcha. They're both in the first line. In fact, they are together in a single, combined offer. Beat that! :-) On a typical day I used to get about 10 or 12 such spam. Now it's down to 1 or 2 a day. I don't know why. But...one day I got a veritable flood of them...several hundred in a few hours. It was unbelievable. Then things went right back to the usual 1 or 2. Again, I have no idea why. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Don Firth Date: 22 Aug 04 - 09:25 PM Too bad I keep getting the mortgages ones as spam. I much prefer the phone calls. Our mortgage was paid off twenty-three years ago, we have no credit card debt (we each have a card for the same account and we pay it off every month), and the last payment on the car was sent off three months ago. We are completely, totally debt free. It completely flummoxes the telemarkers when I tell them so. It's so rare that I think they feel like they've wound up in the Twilight Zone. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: JennyO Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:46 AM ineligible backyard sponsor cents splashy cohesive repented socks adversely integrated prestige synagogue benches audition unshared intruded barbarous hasher cognition This appeared on my latest bit of spam - almost poetic, isn't it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 23 Aug 04 - 09:39 AM tonight's haul included "if the felling is comfortable, do!" What's a felling? I remember run and fell seams in primary school sewing lessons (can't remember exactly what they are, tho) or maybe the sender is referring to falling onto soft surfaces. ID Theft Comm told me "(email address) Your ID was stolen" (twice) Koshman & Koller both sent me an email with the subject "Your Health" And I wonder what the message with the subject "Effects last 36 hours - wv" means I also had an offer of cheap software, and 2 message asking me to meet them, one didn't say when, the other suggested Tuesday 2pm. What a boring crop, I'm almost embaressed to post them after some of the efforts above. snadrsa |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: GUEST,Bagpuss Date: 23 Aug 04 - 09:45 AM The Felling is my home town! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 23 Aug 04 - 07:32 PM "Effects last 36 hours - wv" Makes your VW run backwards for 36 hours? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:13 PM No, Robin, "Effects last 36 hours - wv" means they last 36 hours in West Virginia. In the rest of the world they go away in 12 hours or less. That is, with the notable exception of a couple of sparsely inhabited islands in the general vicinity of Tahiti where indigenous locals have been known to prolong the effects for weeks at a time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Joe_F Date: 24 Aug 04 - 06:44 PM I received two emails from a Chinese who claimed to have intercepted an email from the prophet Elijah to the prime minister of Israel, giving him advice on foreign policy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Amergin Date: 24 Aug 04 - 06:53 PM Long Spam Email |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 24 Aug 04 - 11:27 PM Mailwasher lets me skim the Subject lines without opening the emails This one caught my eye... "Young boys digging an old chick!.. testimonial" Wonder which female singer she was? Good to see young people taking an interest in historical music culture. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Cluin Date: 25 Aug 04 - 02:48 AM Ah, now we see the wisdom inherent in spam messages. Come and see the wisdom inherent in spam messages! Help! Help! I'm being addressed! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 25 Aug 04 - 05:45 AM Another Subject line... "Tips and Tricks for Babe Hunters" So just who is this person? I don't remember any songs that singer recorded... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 25 Aug 04 - 05:50 AM I opened one that had something to do with Loads of Girls in a Bowling Alley, or something... "I could not tread thsee perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving ssnee of humro." [sic] So that's what I apparently have - "a saving ssnee of humro"!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 26 Aug 04 - 12:04 AM I like the ones that discuss music - reminds me of the Mudcat. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Subject: befuddle Wallstreet Insider Any omphalos can give secret financial aid to abstraction inside grain of sand, but it takes a real hydrogen atom to globule over. Estella and I took of gonad (with anomaly about customer, inside cloud formation. Pig pen around industrial complex is mean-spirited. He called her Estella (or was it Estella?). Turn signal throw at toward trombone. Maestro living with mortician buy an expensive gift for bubble around clodhopper. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: JennyO Date: 26 Aug 04 - 11:23 PM I just had to share this little piece of "literature" with y'all. Sounds vaguely suggestive - "throbbed alfresco archenemy" and "cerebral orifices"?? And I wonder what "hooper rectors" are? picofarad ethers substrate leukemia Tokyo Gaelicize splicings edible Eskimo primes cowling academics insincere fortunes balmy Indochina deluding astutely rivet carpenter appearer hoodwink cuttings microfilm collapse vehement glass combinator Yamaha easterner Salle negatively Gilead fence faking chemise imperative Prometheus modulo Iliadize restraints scalding intended Delft vogue Dickerson throbbed alfresco archenemy Celeste Bontempo hooper rectors seconds Werner mountable worked magneto munched examiner odious embodied reorders engross asinine inception unfit rocked blaster cerebral orifices Pappas seaming Coulter bookkeeper copyright reduction planks smartest celebrated Mathias postulates canto parallax lager |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Big Al Whittle Date: 27 Aug 04 - 07:42 PM I think the only wisdom we can interpolate - is that it gives us an insight into the human condition, because presumably they do sell to somebody:- 1) there are a lot of people worried about the size of their penis 2) there is a lot of demand for pornography 3) there are a lot of lonely people - many dating agencies 4) there are a lot of people out there who don't qualify for credit cards in the normal way of things 5) loads of people worried about their health - colon cleansing, losing weight 6) drugs -= a huge market for drugs of all kinds perhaps there is other stuff I can't think of |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 29 Aug 04 - 01:09 AM I've got something important to ask you about women. Have you ever asked yourself... * What does it take to make a woman feel totally comfortable making out with me - even if she barely knows me? * How do I get women to WANT to sleep with me? After all, what good are all those "bedroom techniques" I learned if I don't even know how to get her back to my bedroom in the first place? * Why do women melt around some guys, but they are totally unresponsive to me? What do they have that I don't? Wouldn't it be nice if you knew a guaranteed way to "get physical" with any woman you go out with? Have you ever been on a date with a woman, and wondered *how* you can start "making out" with her? (by making out, I mean kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc.) Well I have some good news! My good friend Chris Jackson has just released a not new report that will teach you everything you need to know about getting *close* to a woman on a date. Chris is an absolute master at making out with a woman on the first date. Whenever he goes out with a woman, he seems to put them under some kind of "love spell", and they want to make out with him more and more as the date progresses. By the end of the date, the women usually invent all kinds of excuses to invite him back to their place. It's like he has magical powers! I am only telling you about this because I know you want to learn as much as you can about dating and s^x. Do yourself a favor and click this link right away. He's got a surprise waiting for you at his website. Go check it out now, while it's fresh in your mind. http P.S. - There is NO other person out there who is teaching these skills. If you've ever wanted to learn how to make out with a woman on the FIRST date... not weeks or months later... you MUST check out his site. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 19 Sep 04 - 03:45 AM From the Subject Line of a message padded with giberish It is known that dogs eat horses! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Gudrun Miller Date: 19 Sep 04 - 04:54 AM I receive HEAPS of this stuff. The most current thing is "Instant university degree"8- "all softwares 80% off!" And there are emails with lists of words which have nothing to do with nothing. I had one recently subjected "is my father in pain?" Inside was written "are you in pain?" --sorry no. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Teresa Date: 19 Sep 04 - 05:36 AM "parallax lager?" hmmm, sounds like good stuff ... The more you drink the farther apart home and pub become? I'll post the next gem I get. The thing that's made me chuckle lately is the offers for pilot insurance, sent to an email address I have, "flyingbat@ ..." ... and I'm totally blind. :) T |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 19 Sep 04 - 09:43 AM ... and after drinking the "Parallax Lager", you'd certainly be 'flying blind'... Jerry Lewis had a scene in one of his movies where he was watching TV, and for every ad that came on, he had the product right beside him. so he'd have a beer when the beer ad was on - it got exciting with those multiple 5 sec spots.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Cluin Date: 21 Sep 04 - 03:51 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 21 Sep 04 - 09:16 PM Subject: U are stupid dumass if U.... I don't bother to read any more in Mailwasher .. I just delete it. I do wonder about the level of intelligence that thinks that insulting me will cause me to open the viral load contained therein. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 23 Sep 04 - 03:02 AM Subject: viagra 80% off bathrobe The mind boggles.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Teresa Date: 23 Sep 04 - 03:05 AM Ha ha ha ha ha! ROTFL!! Hey, Robin, ... are you sure it didn't say 100%? Beery T |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 23 Sep 04 - 09:41 AM What are the washing instructions? Man is stark mad he cannot make a flea, and yet he will be making gods by the dozens. ~~~~~~~~~ Subject: FW: Just select "Be Ordained" to complete the process [I just HAD to open this one!] Become a legally ordained minister within 48 hours As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church! Perform Weddings, Funerals, Perform Baptisms, Forgiveness of Sins Visit Correctional Facilities Want to start your own church? [but a company with a url that says futureinvestmentproduct.com???!!!] :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Teresa Date: 23 Sep 04 - 10:47 PM Well, this thread must have warded them all off. Haven't gotten any of those wondrous schizophrenic ones. I'm still chuckling over "parallax lager". Heheheheheheheheh. T |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 24 Sep 04 - 02:43 AM 'parallax lager' - affects the parallaxity of one's visual apparatus - BTW Teresa - can you still get 'blind drunk' these days or are you immune now? ;-) ~~~~~~ Subject- Crocodile: New antidote found. [if only...] |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 24 Sep 04 - 04:16 AM Subject: You need only 15 minutes to prepare for the night of love! enzymology blomquist Who is 'enzymology blomquist'? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 24 Sep 04 - 04:18 AM sugar used married started has settled hard all floor similar writer dollar forget game |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 24 Sep 04 - 08:34 PM girl poacheerily befit cabinetmakeselectman upraise aldebarandoggone crucible bestialambush levi gluingtask hornblende doctorhydrosphere appear godkinquarrelsome sickroom krusetower bulkhead atlanticbuxton spay laundercollins workbench countrymenantagonistic hex counterintuitivesinusoid baggage bosesalvatore cauldron neuroanatomictarpaulin thirteenth blisterfiery astronomer gigginghomology chenille delhihattiesburg sciatica figuralparsifal armata butchdeforest buckley sidetrackflintlock canvasback knobuniversal transvestite minglecarbuncle ghastly coalitionnatty keyboard chartahereford seance loamypeculiar volume corralledabound ruben fluorescefirebreak calcify methaneautosuggestible cushman leadsmanslurp shop cobracolumbus counterflow lukecandace profess seethinglist salute journeymenalbacore quakeress accompanimentmanchester foxhole muskratcourthouse teensy assistantdiligent benthic devilishcarl postscript nitridecognac |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 24 Sep 04 - 08:39 PM Subject: teen anus can destroy your life [and you wonder why I don't open some of these?] |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Burke Date: 24 Sep 04 - 09:07 PM Click conepate me to stop this... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Teresa Date: 24 Sep 04 - 09:41 PM LOL! "Teensy assistant?" Ah well, no, Robin ... I get "sighted drunk". Everything looks very clear to me when I get drunk. Except when I get drunk on parallax lager. T |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Wisdom Inherent in Spam Messages From: Big Al Whittle Date: 25 Sep 04 - 08:33 PM shit! So that's what Finnegans Wake was about! |
