BS: Who needs help with squeaking?

Subject: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 04:11 AM

I'm most disturbed and distressed by these threads that want to get rid of squeaks. What is wrong with a few squeaks now and then? It's innocent, makes me happy and no-one gets hurt (except those with delicate ears and the odd passing bat) and scores a lot in Scrabble.

Bring back the squeaks!

Liz the SQUEAK

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 05:07 AM

Hear hear Liz!
Well that's you, me, Limpit, and Manitas [allegedly].
Anybody else want to join?
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Gervase
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:00 AM

Who needs help with squeaking? Ask Les Barker!

(Sorry Liz; I'll get me coat...)

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:13 AM

Actually, I think they all want help with NOT squeaking...

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 06:23 AM

Promise I won't squeak until I'm squoken to....


runs away giggling maniacally.


The old ones are best.

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Aug 04 - 08:46 AM

Liz, Liz, Liz...

You are totally misinterpreting the squeak removers' motives. The goal is not to remove all squeaks. The goal is to remove all squeaks except Liz's squeak. It is the fervent desire of all Mudcatters that you, dear Liz, have an absolute monopoly on squeakiness. Just imagine a world in which anyone who wants to hear a squeak has to come knock on your door and beg you to squeak for them. You'll be able to charge huge sums of money for your squeaking services. You'll be able to quit your job. You'll be able to send Limpit off to an exclusive private boarding school in Switzerland.

We're already making good headway with the bedsprings. As soon as all the squeaky bedsprings have been eliminated we'll start on the rocking chairs and door hinges. Then, the biggest challenge of all, we'll put all our efforts toward eliminating novice fiddlers. When our work is done, we'll give ya a ring.

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 06:54 AM

And since we're all working to help you get rich by having the monopoly, by eliminating squeaks, the you will remember your friends won't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 08:40 AM

Hmm, sending Limpit off to Switzerland eh. Where's me oil can?
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Billy the Bus
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 09:21 AM

Liz don't talk to me about Scrabble - Once upon a time I was married to to the Lovely Linda. We were having a scrubb-up in the bath when she said "Wouldn't Jonquil be a great word for Scrabble?"

Within the hour, after we diried off, she laid down the tiles on the Scrabble Board - on a TRIPLE WORD that LINKED!!!!! Try and work out the score... Needless to say we have been unmarried for a couple of decades.. not my choice...

I've only played Scrabble a couple of times since...

Luzzer - Sam

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 10:03 AM

Liz - why don't you copyright your squeak - then all these fiddlers and people who do things to make the bed squeak will have to pay you royalties.

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 10:14 AM

Let's see, assuming that none of the letters in "jonquil" were already on the board but all came from her rack and that no "blanks" were used, that's 23 points for the word, triple word score makes it 69, plus 50 points for using all seven letters = 119. Plus there'd probably be one double letter score in there for a few more points and there'd be the additional score for whatever word was "hooked" onto. Should score around 130 depending on the variables. Very impressive. But "squeaky" would yield the same score, and "quixotic" (base word value 27) would yield more.

By the way, my favorite Scrabble trick is to spell "xi" going one way and "xu" going the other while placing the "x" on a triple letter spot. A quick 50 points. Yes, both words are legal.

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 11:04 AM

I think we need an online soundclip of Liz's squeak.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 12:00 PM

. . . . . now if I turn the volume right down on my recorder and stand about 500 yards away, then get Les Barker to recite one of his poems (over a loud-hailer for his own sake) - I might be able to manage that.

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 05:30 PM

It's acutally on a record of Les's... A Cardi and Bloke. For the same track in 'Guide Cats for the blind', they turned the treble right down and the bass right up, so you get a lot of hiss and no squeak.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Who needs help with squeaking?
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Aug 04 - 05:47 PM

And then there's my back . . . knees . . . left shoulder. . . .

Don Firth