BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...

Subject: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: robomatic
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 01:17 PM

Since college I've enjoyed these kinds of verbal puzzles. The Teller sets forth a short story which is either incomprehensible or incomplete. Everyone else gets to pose questions to which the Teller can answer yes or no. They usually contain an 'aha' moment, when one person realizes the nub, the vital point of information, sometimes just a simple twist, most often grotesque, and then the original tale makes sense.
I've had a lot of fun with these tales, whether on the hiking trail or in a classroom of dangerously hyperactive high school kids who saw me as the 'sub'.

So I have a collection of them. Like a magician who must not give away the secrets of his trade, I have no intention of just 'giving' the plots away, but I'm curious to see how many other tales are out there.
The first one I ever learned is a perfect example:

1) A man goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank You' and leaves.

A very simple one goes:
2) George and Martha are lying on the floor of a locked room, dead. The floor is wet and there is broken glass all around.

Another simple one:
3) A man is in a high rise apartment. He is ALL ALONE. He walks to the window, opens it, and jumps out. Just as he clears the sill, the phone rings. AND THEN HE SCREAMS.

This one took me a case of beer with friends and a hot afternoon in the trailers at Stanford:
4) A man is in a room, dead. There are two pieces of wood in the room.

5) A man walks into a restaurant and asks for baked albatross. They bring him baked albatross. He takes a bite, tastes it, then drops dead.

6) There is a dead man in a phonebooth. <-These days one might have describe what a phone booth is.

Yeah, there's lots of dead people in the ones I know.

so how about it, am I the only person who collects these? Are there others out there?

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 01:35 PM

If he'd seen the sawdust he wouldn't have died.

Another-- man dead in a room, on the table are 53 bicycles.

There is a site somewhere that collects these.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 01:36 PM

Man leaves apartment, goes downstairs on elevator. Elevator stops on 23rd floor. After ten minutes it resumes. When he gets off he knows his wife is dead.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: GUEST,peedeecee
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 01:43 PM

Well you can't just leave us hanging! If someone would post the answer to even one of these, it might provide some insight into the type of thinking necessary to resolve them.

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: s&r
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 02:43 PM

some here

Stu

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 02:56 PM

Man walked into a bar

OUCH

It was an iron bar.

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: M'Grath of Altcar
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 03:13 PM

These used to be known (by me at least) as lateral thinking puzzles.

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 05:47 PM

To cheat - this site includes the asnwer to robomatic's first one. (Ain't google wonderful?) Scroll down.

Subject: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 06:15 PM

So many of these things (and I've seen a few of the above) require a question and answer session rather than guesswork.
e.g. #6, the man dead in a phonebooth, a little further discussion will normally get the details that he is/was a sportsman, and the phone is off the hook. This won't help much, but might jog a few memories.

#2 is probably the one to use as a give-away (as requested by guest;peedeecee) George & Martha are goldfish. The broken glass & water will explain how they died!

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 06:23 PM

For a hint at #3, see Benny Hill's What A World (last verse)

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: robomatic
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 07:10 PM

Thanks Nigel, Benny was a treasure. I still remember him in the original Italian Job, wot was the good 'un.

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 04:41 AM

A man with a pack on his back lies dead alongside a path in a field....

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 05:26 AM

A white horse walked into a bar and ordered a pint, the barman says, ' what an amazing coincidence, we've got a drink called the same as you. ' the white horse replies ' what, eric ? '

eric

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Wolfgang
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 05:39 AM

Long list (including responses)

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 05:46 AM

Unfortunate choice of thread title - you are likely to end up with lots of "A Man Walks Into A Bar..." jokes - a lot of which arealready in other threads here.

Another one, the exact wording of which I have forgotten, but is very much like this:

Every work morning, a man walks into an elevator on the ground floor in the morning on his way to work, presses the 10th floor button, gets out there, and walks up 6 more floors. In the evening, he gets into the lift on the 16th floor, presses the ground floor button, where he gets off to go home. Why does he do this every day?

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: GUEST,Hugh Jampton
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 06:02 AM

Nice one "Giok", for humorous memories of Tommy Cooper.

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 06:19 AM

GUEST Boab...The man was a parachutist

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 10:23 AM

A man drives across a bridge, after a few minutes turns around, goes back to the bridge, and jumps off to his death. Why?

A man lies naked in the desert, dead, with a half a toothpick clutched in his hand. Why?

I love these. We call them endless-yes/no-questions-and-answers puzzles.

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: GUEST,robomatic
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 03:26 PM

Wolfgang, that site is a treasure, how did you find it?
Mrzzy and others thanks for your contributions. I've been stuck with the same old puzzles for years, and a few messages later that group has more than doubled.

You rock!

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 04:24 PM

Foolestroope - he is a midget and can't reach the 16th floor button?

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 11:27 PM

A man is falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling...

And then he dies. Why?

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 12:49 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Second Joke Thread for 2004
From: Wilfried Schaum - PM
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 02:46 PM

Three black men, all naked. The middle one's penis is white.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 04:20 AM

A chimney sweep on honeymoon ?

eric

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Wolfgang
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 04:29 AM

Robomatic,

I googled with some words/combination of words from your problems. But it took about a dozen different tries until I found that site.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 01:44 PM

WYS, three coalminers. The middle one went home for lunch and a quickie.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Marion
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 03:27 AM

I also enjoy these. Here is one that I've had some good rounds with - and nobody has to die:

"A man is pushing a car with one hand. As he approaches a hotel, he realizes that he has no money."

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Helen
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 06:39 AM

Robomatic, I use them for the same reason you do - to quell hyperactive riots in classes I teach. It doesn't matter what age group or what interests or levels of ability, these problems can quiet a room in about 10 seconds. Except for the groans, of course, of the "oh, no, not these again" variety. But even the groaners join in. It does work exceptionally well as yes/no questioning in a group and I justify using them in my workplace communication classes as practice in the use of effective questioning techniques, but really it is a filler for the last 10 minutes or a rescue package for a harassed teacher - me!

My book is by Paul Sloane, called The Lateral Logician. It has maybe 300-400 problems. There is a website with many of his problems, with clues and answers.

The way to do it here is to pose the problem, ask that anyone who knows the answer stays out of the exercise, and then everyone else asks yes/no questions from the person who posed the problem and waits for the answers. Eventually enough info is compiled to start seeing possible solutions.

If you want to try it out, one of my favourites is:

The music stopped and she died.

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 06:46 AM

Marion:
Is the Hotel the one in London, or the original in Atlantic City?

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: robomatic
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 02:23 PM

Helen:

I spent a couple months as a substitute school teacher, with no background in it whatsoever. I had a class late in the school year of seniors in chemistry in the afternoon. They had NO motivations to behave, they already knew if and what colleges they were going to, I don't know chemistry, and it was the last class of the day for some of them. As they began to reenact scenes from the previous night's Seinfeld show, I hit them with a couple, starting with the man who goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water. It takes about five minutes for a crowd to figure that out, then they're hooked. I can't remember the last one of the day, but they hadn't gotten it when the bell rang, and I didn't give it away ("Save it for college!" I said). That summer I was taking someone to the movies and the ticket taker suddenly pulled the tix back and said: "Not until you tell me the answer!"

I'll look for that lateral thinking book.

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: belter
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 03:14 PM

A man is found dead with what apears to be a bullet wound. No bullet is found.

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Helen
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 07:46 PM

robomatic,

I found that even if the class was busting to get out of there not one of them would leave until the puzzle was solved. It's their niggly nature, these puzzles, they get under people's skin, like an earworm - that small part of a tune that keeps playing over and over in your head and nothing seems to get rid of it.

I bought my book on special for $2. The amount of stress-free teaching it has provided for me and the amount of fun and entertainment it has given my students - many of them young, active blokes beginning their trades course who can always think of something better to do than sitting in a classroom - I could have paid $2000 for it and still thought it was a great investment.

Try this:
One of Paul Sloane's Wally Tests

and please don't cheat and look up the answers.

   1. If a ton of coal costs $30 and a ton of coke costs $25, what will a ton of firewood come to?
   2. Removing an appendix is called an appendectomy, removing tonsils is called a tonsillectomy. What is it called when they remove a growth from your head?
   3. Why are U.S. soldiers forbidden to carry rifles any longer?
   4. What three things that you can eat can never have for breakfast?
   5. If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather?
   6. What would you call a person who did not have all his fingers on one hand?
   7. Which is greater: six dozen dozen or half a dozen dozen?
   8. What is the best way to get down from a camel?
   9. How could a man be severely injured being hit by some tomatoes?
10. Why do Chinese men eat more rice than Japanese men?

(Reprinted from Great Lateral Thinking Puzzles)

Subject: RE: BS: A Man Walks Into A Bar...
From: Helen
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 07:49 PM

Look what I just found - this thread belongs above the BS line!!