BS: World's Worst Poetry

Subject: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 07:54 PM

The time has come for this, I think. Here's the first entry:

To Lucida,
On Seeing Thy Name Graven

(by Rimshot)

Oh, Lucida, when I chance to look
Into the bottomless pit which is thine eyes
I fell to swoon, my wits foorsook
My hand to forehead prest, my bosom cries
My bosom cries for love

Oh, Lucida, could I tell the world
What sweet and sensive secrets dost thou entrove
Like Nelson's sails my soul would spring unfurled
My heart would find its port and never rove
And never rove my dove

Oh, Lucida, but I cannot show
For my condition do still I have most grave
Thy heaving heart my touch shall never know
For fate to me none of God's salve didst gave
God's salve didst gave from 'bove

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:05 PM

Little Hawk:

You are such a worthless slimeball shit-artist. What is this, another of your goddamned schemes to undermine whatever wisp of aesthetic sense has managed to survive the various crushing, Orc-like rampages of bad taste in the world? Join forces with a sea of evil, and by becoming, end it? Is that your scheme, Bunky? No, I know what it really is. It is protective camouflage!! You're afraid Americans will come to Canada in droves if the November elections turns bad. So you are engaging in a little reverse-salting, sprinkling the airwaves with small samples of desperate ugliness from Canafda in order to forestall the multitude of political refugees who will be discouraged and deflected by the belief that Canada has no sense of beauty whatsoever. Eh?

Beauty, eh? Well, we know what you're up to, dude, so take off!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:17 PM

THIS world's worst poetry? or are we talking VOGON poetry? (to the clueless, see "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.")

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:29 PM

That's a pretty compelling theory, Amos, but I think the above poem was written by an American...as far as I know. So take off, eh! You flippin' hoser! I shall respond with a poem freshly composed this very eve by mois in defence of the Great White North.

Where Men of Iron Are Bold (by Little Hawk)

All hail the Savage Northern Waste!
Where Men of Iron are bold
Where muskeg rules and snowdrift chaste
Doth glister in the cold

No man shall penetrate its vast
Compelling mystery
With vagrant sigh on shivered mast
Like scarecrow dangleth he

Yea in these vales, on icen trails
The eskimo doth rule
The bittern bites, there white on white
Whereon the sled dog drools

The wolfen howl its shiver sends
The northern lights regale
The wandering soul uneasy bends
Upon the blustering trail

And here and there some vague repose
Emblazoned in the mass
Attests to frozen, reddened nose
Now still and hard as glass

For none but bravest pass this way
Upon these frozen fields
And them now silent speak their lay
As finally they yield

Yes! Hail the Savage Northern Waste!
Where Men of Iron are bold
Where muskeg rules and snowdrift chaste
Doth glister in the cold

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:29 PM

"You are such a worthless slimeball shit-artist."

Hey, he is NOT worthless!

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:30 PM

I stuck up for you, Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:38 PM

Your check is in the mail, brucie.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:45 PM

Little Hawk:

As the Canadian who promoted this thread, you must take responsibility for this terrible downward trail you have started p[people on with your Vehement Pursuit of Mediocrity disguised in spandex spirituality with rhinestones of reverence glistening on the creases.

It is a wicked course on which to steer those who have learned to trust you for tips on Truth and Beauty, and to give them instead an inside track to Death and Destruction.

Think on it well, Little Hawk.

A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:46 PM

"With vagrant sigh on shivered mast
Like scarecrow dangleth he"

Yeah. Try THAT in 55 below zero.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:47 PM

Hey, LH, did Amos say a good thing or a bad thing?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:48 PM

Gad! I'm beginning to think you're serious, Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: GUEST,peedeecee
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:49 PM

Brucie, I have a feeling that if your dangle isn't dangling at 55º below zero, that its stiffness is only from the cold. Sorry!

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:51 PM

My ex tell you that?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:52 PM

Are you suggesting I dump all further interest in: William Shatner, William McGonagall, Julia Moore, bad poetry, the WWF, squirrels, and...um...anything else come to mind?

(Have we discussed the possibility that Shatner is a reincarnate of McGonagall yet?)

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 08:58 PM

Look, "an inside track to Death and Destruction" is a bit more than I can manage. Talk to Bush and Cheney about that. I'm simply offering an inside track to artistic incompetence and unintentional humour in the field of the arts.

How are we to know Truth and Beauty if we do not study their antitheses in order to draw comparisons?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:11 PM

"Disguised in spandex spirituality with rhinestones of reverence glistening on the creases." is hardly the proposition of a serious mind -- more likely a disordered one.   So I wouldn't worry too much... proceed with your spiritual snuff game, I am sure you can gather more and more followers as you invent new twists to pitch, such as the Reincarnation Of McGonagle variation. Get them excited about the cheesy, the cheap, the unconscionably tacky and the tasteless. Hurray for tastelessness!! It is SO cool!


A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:17 PM

Behold the Raging Manticore (by Little Hawk)

Behold the raging manticore, most terrible to see
Upon a beach or beyond reach, ensconced in yonder tree
He bristles like a ballyhoo, he hoots and scrapes and snores
At passersby who shriek and shy and faint upon the floor

His fur is coarse and matted, his eyes are small and mean
His feet are brightly spatted, with colors red and green
He does not read the paper, he does not stir his tea
But roars aloud, affrighting crowds, from top of yonder tree

No hunter dares pursue him, no politican either
No birder dares to view him, or penitent mouth-breather
He terrifies the migrant swan, her feathers twitch in haste
As flying by, across the sky, she turns as white as paste

Let's hope the raging manticore, his pleasures to pursue
Comes down from yonder tree and leaves our harbours, says "Adieu!"
Then all will rest more easily, to know that he has gone
To distant lands such as Japan...or maybe Avalon

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:22 PM

It's not easy to write truly good poetry. Not easy at all. Nor is it easy to write a truly good screenplay...and that explains what one is confronted with at the movie theatre most of the time, I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: mack/misophist
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:35 PM

Now I understand why Robery W Service chose to retire to the Riviera. He heard about LH and was afraid he'd be blamed.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:38 PM

LOL! Thank you, thank you. I didn't know he had retired to the Riviera. He certainly had a flare for dramatic poetry.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:38 PM

Writing good poetry's not easy,
As Amos said, "It's cheesy."
Making it mean
So it reaches your keen
Sense of scansion and the sleazy.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:39 PM

No applause necessary. I'm a pote. I note.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:44 PM

A puissant pillock named Pyle
Who was known to be venal and vile
Once mounted a swine
And at quick double-time
Proceeded to pork it in style

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:51 PM

Oh Death, where is thy sting-a-ling-a-ling
Or grave, thy victory?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:51 PM

Not bad enough. IMO, it doesn't deserve to be on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 09:53 PM

My post was for LH. IMO, yours, Rap, has a home here.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 10:23 PM

Yes, mine scans too well. Sorry about that.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Lighter
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 10:40 PM

I was instructed in high school that Robert Service and Edgar Guest were the "world's worst poets."

On the other hand, Ronald Reagan's former physician appeared on TV a couple of months ago to say that the late President

         was a great poet [sic] too. He memorized "The Shooting
         of Dan McGrew." He dearly loved that poem. I remember we
         would...often discuss who was the greatest English poet,
         and I would argue for Kipling and he would argue for      
         Service. He loved poetry.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 10:53 PM

Manticore: a mythical monster having the head of man (with horns) and the body of a lion and the tail of a scorpion
www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn

Little Hawk:

Your piece on the unruly manticore was truly original and entertaining. As you can see there is a very fine line between the great and the ridiculous!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 10:54 PM

Do you like Kipling?

Don't know. I've never Kippled.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 04 - 10:54 PM

Service understood his audience. What he wrote may not have been poetry to please the art critic, but it certainly worked.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 12:09 AM

You can sing of the Spanish Angels
And the Death of Little Nell
You can glamorize your Julia Moore,
The Poetess from Hell!
You can carp and whine and bitch and moan
When McGonagle's raised again;
But there's none will scar you to the bone
As when Little Hawk holds the pen.

This Canuck herbivore strange and meek
With locks like a river of brown
And a threaded tap into Heaven's seat
Where the effluvia can drip down;
He will tell you of actors with balding heads,
Or sing of the Manticore;
And the words that chill the strongest home-wife
Are "Little Hawk's at the door!"

So prepare to give over your hope for truth
And your quest for Beauty yet!
For the legions of Mediocre Hell
Are what you are going to get;
And ask not for wisdom, or insight fair,
For the banal, the trite are your lot
Succumb to the draw of the lowest and worse
When Little Hawk calls the shot.

Aloyisius Gawaine de la Benitié
A Wind From the Old Island
New York, 1907

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 07:38 AM

Check if Shatners middle name is now "Topaz"

Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 09:36 AM

Someone else wrote this. I found it.

    She's a tiger and a bunny,
    A rascal and a lout.
    In hiding when it's sunny,
    A cat who likes to pout.
    She's timid and she's sulky,
    A swaggering fluffy chump.
    She's trickier than Loki,
    Or else she's just a clump.
    Her hair is soft and silky
    Her eye is green and glows
    Her undercoat is milky
    She's got a terra-cotta nose.
    My friends think she's a treasure,
    But they're a bunch of fools;
    Since once she takes your measure,
    She sits on you, and drools.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 10:00 AM

Oh Rap, that's no way to talk about your lady friend..... I'm sure she doesn't drool that much!

I wish I was a little bug, with whiskers on my tummy.
I'd climb inside a honey pot and make my tummy gummy.

Or, if you prefer...

Oh frendled gruntbugly, thy micturations are to me....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 10:46 AM

A glomming in the nonsense glitter a holier than thou...
His meaningless aggogling titter, behold his sacred cow
With judgements flailing all aboot, detatched from heartfelt meaning
The fun he makes, makes loving mute... behold! and languish leaning

LH... Mediocrity is in the eye of the beholder... And IMHO... I think you are afraid of caring, because you've been hurt. I know I am...

Still trying to be a truly caring indiviual, ttr

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 12:33 PM

I think anyone who says Service was one of the world's worst poets is too much like an old acquaintance of mine who said no music was worthwhile except opera. I don't think Rapaire's last submission, the cat poem, is at all bad either. Anyone who thinks a poem can't be rough, rowdy fun, lead to a joke punchline, or be a little silly, if it is really expressive and decently written, just has their shirt stuffed a little too tight.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 12:39 PM

Are you suggesting I dump all further interest in: William Shatner, William McGonagall, Julia Moore, bad poetry, the WWF, squirrels, and...um...anything else come to mind?

Well, just that much, for now. I don't want you to trouble yourself.

A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 12:43 PM

I think it's kind of cool that this thread has now attracted some really quite good poetry. Amos's contribution is, as usual, excellent. Rapaire's borrowed poem about the cat is also excellent. I have know cats who, once they liked you, would sit on you and drool.

TTR - Sir, you are quite correct in your supposition. Embodied life is a hard and perilous journey at times. I find your poetry hard to understand, but I get a glimmer or two from it.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Chris Green
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 12:48 PM

This page is a must for anyone interested in truly rancid rhyming!

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 03:31 PM

Palinode
by Ern Malley

There are ribald interventions
Like spurious seals upon
A Chinese landscape-roll
Or tangents to the rainbow.
We have known these declensions,
Have winked when Hyperion
Was transmuted to a troll.
We dubbed it a sideshow.

Now we find, too late
That these distractions were clues
To a transposed version
Of our too rigid state.
It is an ancient forgotten ruse
And a natural diversion.
Wiser now, but dissident,

I snap off your wrist
Like a stalk that entangles
And make my adieu.
Remember, in any event,
I was a haphazard amorist
Caught on the unlikely angles
Of an awkward arrangement. Weren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 06:04 PM

The park pond sparkles, grey and white.
In places it is mucky.
It isn't really all that deep,
Just halfway up the ducky.

I particularly like the images this conjours up, a stretch of water, glittering in the light, yet, not an artificial or unlikely blue, but a composite of grey cloud and white sunlight, a slight hint of muddiness about it's fringe, the impression of weed undulating in the current, grasping and reaching in the waves.

Then that bloody duck comes along and spoils it.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 06:36 PM

Very good. Now I long to hear the rest of it. What further transpired with the ducky?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 08:12 PM

This is a beautiful line about love:

I'll treat you like milk, I'll do nothing but spoil you



Look, I know you wanna chill wit a player

But all you got to do is keep it real wit a player

Just answer your phone whenever I call

Cause I'm riding on chrome whenever I ball

I like them short and tall but not too thick

I just walk in the spot and take my pick

I need a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets

That know how to cook cause [I] like to eat

Spaghetti, shrimp and steak and I'll adore you

I'll treat you like milk, I'll do nothing but spoil you



I know your friends wanna holla cause I got them dollars

Push the Maybach Monday, tuesday Impala

I switch whips like kicks I'm a balla (I'm a balla)

And if I get your phone number I'm a call ya (I'm a call ya)

And we can meet up the next day and chill

But I'm always on the road baby girl, that's how I live

I got bills to pay,

I got moves to make

But when my plane touch down, pick me up at 8:00, don't be late

We don't have to be in love (love)

We can just be friends!

I will be right there, beginning to the end!

I can bring my girls (girls),

you can bring your friends (friends)

We can both have fun, don't want this stuff to end!



They say love is pain and pain is love

I know ya Momma mad cause you talk to a thug

You think you know my type but you ain't got no clue

About - what a [perjorative]like me do

I like to stack my bread and flip my chips

And I can change ya life if ya get wit Flip

I take private jets to Vagas, man

It's twenty bread each pick cause

I'm major man

We can cruise the world in a Bently Azure

But don't worry, the chauffer open the door

You couldn't ask for more cause we got it all (we got it all)

Cause you my baby girl right?, right?

We don't have to be in love (love)

We don't have to be in love (love)



Uhhhhhhh

Yeeah

Ohh, ohh, ohh, oh baby

Lil' Flipper (Lil' Flipper)

Ooh baby My girl Lea (my girl Lea) hit it


L'il Flip

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 08:39 PM

Heric:

You and LH have a lot in common, you should get on well.

A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 08:41 PM

Did translating that to Russian and back help any?

It - a beautiful line about love:

I ðàññìîòðþ you am similar to milk, I shall make, only spoil you



Sight, I know, that you want to cool wit the player

But everything, that you have received to make - hold it real wit the player

Only answer your phone every time when I call

The reason on which I go on õðîìå every time when I ñâèâàþ in a ball

I like their short and high, but not too thick

I only go in a stain (place) and I take mine to choose

I need in lady in streets, but the addict in sheets

It knows how to prepare for the reason [which I] I like to eat

Spaghetti, the shrimp and áèôøòåêñ and I shall adore you

I ðàññìîòðþ you am similar to milk, I shall make, only spoil you



I know, that your friends want to call to the reason, I have received their dollars

Put forward (Push) Maybach Monday, on Tuesday Èìïàëà

I switch whips is similar to kicks, I am balla (I - balla)

And if I receive your telephone number, I - inquiry ya (I - inquiry ya)

And we can meet next day and a cold

But I am always on the road girl of the child, it - how I live

I have forced accounts (bills) to pay,

I have forced steps to do(make)

But when my plane lands, selects me at 8:00, to not be late

We should not be in love (love)

We can be friends only!

I shall be there and then, beginning up to the end!

I can bring to my girls (girl),

You can bring to your friends (friends)

We can have both an entertainment, do not want, that this material has stopped!



They speak, that love - a pain, and a pain - love

I know ya Mum the mad reason, you speak with the bandit

You think, that you know, that my type, but you no key is received

Î - that [perjorative] it is similar to me do(make)

I like to put(fold) my bread and to click my chips

And I can change (to replace) ya a life if ya receive Click of wit

I take private(individual) jet planes to Vagas, to the person (man)

It - twenty bread, everyone chooses the reason

I am the main person (man)

We can cruise the world in Bently Blue

But do not worry, æàðîâíÿ opens a door

You could not ask about a lot of the reason, we have received it all (we have received all this)

Will cause you my right of the girl of the child?, the right?

We should not be in love (love)

We should not be in love (love)



Uhhhhhhh

Yeeah

Ohh, ohh, ohh, about the child

Poured ' the Fin (Poured ' the Fin)

Oh the child my girl Leja (my girl Leja) amazes it


L'il Click

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 10:02 PM

I don't think William McGonagall would have approved of that last one.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 04 - 10:22 PM

I am certain that Julia Moore wouldn't have approved.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 01:21 AM

Hell, I don't even approve, and I'm a flip-floppin' liberal wuss!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 05:31 AM

It seems to me Bob Dylan is getting a pretty easy ride off this thread. Lest we forget the masterpiece on the cover of Another Side.

Pretentious moi?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 08:58 AM

Oh, go away. I am not going to waste my time being provoked by that.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 09:04 AM

Did anyone hear that Bob Dylan and Bill Shatner were interrupted by a band of marauding squirrels while they were flagrante delicto with Penny Rutledge at a WWF match?

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 09:06 AM

That Scottish poet and Julia Moore teamed up to write a poem about it. It's under the pseudonym "Moore McGonagall".

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 09:07 AM

That's a complex situation. I would be at a loss as to what to do about it. Best to just stay clear and let it resolve itself. Go in afterward and rescue any survivors.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 12:27 PM

The clowns of time are laughing
As the River Dee flows down
And the water disappears beneath the soil
While my love stands gently smiling
On the colder side of town
Knowing well that they are fighting about Oil.

Far away from ancient Aberdeen
Where the Queen can keep you safe
And the wild dogs learn to hear the tempers boil
She is waiting, she is waiting,
While the freight trains all depart
Heading for the front of a battle built on oil.


When the Ugly One comes calling
And the waters have dried up
And your magic clock runs down into the soil.
Will your own love still be calling?
As the temperature starts falling,
And the nightshades win the battle over oil.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 12:44 PM

Boy, that has got to be the worst poem on this thread...

A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 06:45 PM

God bless Mommy -- I know that's right
Wasn't it fun in the bath tonight?


FILTH from AA Milne, poet of porn!

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 07:09 PM

Hmm. Amos, I think that is on the verge of being a darned good song lyric if one slightly changes just a few of the words. I'm serious. I'd like to rewrite it and sing it, maybe. I like it.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 04 - 09:46 PM

Little Hawk, split the royalties with me and you can do what you like with it!! LOL!! It does not surprise me that the worst poem I've written in twenty years should turn out to be commercially viable!! LOL!

A

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 06:30 PM

Amos, my copy of Sailing Alone arrived today so I can use that to ease my mind out of this gutter poetry.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 09:53 PM

wow, this all sucks

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: 42
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:08 PM

How about this gem from the woebegone pen of the Sweet Songstress of Saskatchewan?

Oh calf, that gambolled by my door
Who made me rich who now am poor,
That licked my hand with milk bespread,
Oh calf, calf, art dead, art dead?

Oh calf, I sit and languish, calf,
With somber face, I cannot laugh,
Can I forget thy playful bunts?
Oh calf, calf, that loved me once?

With mildewed optics, deathlike, still,
My nights are damp, my days are chill,
I weep again with doleful sniff,
Oh calf, calf, so dead, so stiff.

        -- Sarah Binks

j

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:21 PM

Another thing Canada has done!

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Peace
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:37 PM

You are right about this one, BB.

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 06:31 AM

This thread and a McGonigall link resulted in my being banned on 2 internet poetry sites...

When I posted a McGonicall poem on each of the two sites, the excuberant and overflowing praise for the "poems" continued for weeks until I let the cat out of the bag. ( I told each site that the other had a McGonigall poem known for being the worst poetry on Earth.)

My initial intent to show the ridiculous praise people make for schock was proved and rewarded. :)

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: beardedbruce
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 06:38 AM

Donuel,

Thank you for the quotes around the term "poems".    (*bg*)

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 06:44 AM

How come MOAB hasn't got dragged into this thread? It has many efforts worthy of a place here....

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: 42
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 07:21 AM

I think it's the 'bunts' - 'once' pairing that makes the Binks poem one of the worst!

although 'warrior' - 'bore ya" is a pretty laughable rhyme as well. (why does 'rhyme' not look correct this morning?)
j

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: beardedbruce
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 07:26 AM

well, it is too warm here for "rime"...

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: 42
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 07:39 AM

Not where I'm sitting it's not! -2 and sunny at the moment but heading for 4 and snow....and I have two outdoor gigs tomorrow...gotta love those maple syrup festivals!

j

Subject: RE: BS: World's Worst Poetry
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 09:26 AM

White bread and mayonaise
and 'Public Relations' by E. Bernaise
became food and bibles for ol' Joseph Goebbles
so people would not have to think.

Instinct and dirty desires
fuel the sleazy TV fires
of shocking abhorent naked titties while think tanks endlessly repeat their ditties
the rotting corpses lose their stink.

The Republican religious rivival
has no Congressional rival
as reported on FOX whats gored is our ox
and the Nazis were rinky dink.