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BS: the Afterlife Test
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Subject: BS: the Afterlife Test From: *daylia* Date: 24 Apr 05 - 08:26 AM The Afterlife Test Take it and find out where you're headed - to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. Do it NOW, for who knows what tomorrow may bring? I'm glad I did. I feel much better now that I know the truth ie Your score is 43. You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive Hope to see y'all there soon, daylia |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Phil Cooper Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:15 AM I'm a 47, going to purgatory, for now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: bobad Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:17 AM Your score is 40. You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Brían Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:19 AM Hmmm. I got the same score and answer. Either great minds think alike, or there's only one answer. Your score is 43. You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive. Brían |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: John Hardly Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:21 AM 55. Many of the questions don't have an appropriate, accurate answer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Brían Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:21 AM Good for you, Phil. At least it will be warmer where I'm going. Brían |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: JeZeBeL Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:25 AM I always knew this anyway. lol Your score is 40. You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive. Jez xxx |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Mooh Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:25 AM 56, and for what it's worth, purgatory. I don't believe it since we're all goin' to heaven anyway, but the test made me think. Been to church already today, which informs me better than any afterlife test or other internet wonder. Peace, Mooh. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: GUEST,Georgiansilver Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:26 AM 63 and going to purgatory apparently......well, I never said I was a "good" Christian did I? I get it wrong often like all the others. Best wishes, Mike. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: mack/misophist Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:27 AM 43 |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Amos Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:35 AM "Your score is 49. At present, it looks like you are headed to Purgatory. Your test results indicate that you have conflicting beliefs and actions. When these beliefs and actions merge harmoniously, you will find inner peace and embark on your journey to Heaven or Hell." Weird shit, man. What happens if you lie on the test? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Azizi Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:42 AM 43 |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Clinton Hammond Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:45 AM "Your score is 34." Another who, if it existed, would be going to hell... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Bill D Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:03 PM Is there a special place in the afterlife for those of us who refuse to take tests like this? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Ebbie Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:23 PM Your score is 41. (LOL, Bill D) |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: kendall Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:30 PM Does anyone really believe this clap trap? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: DMcG Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:33 PM Whenever I saee a test like this, I am reminded of a friend who always tried to find out what he needed to say to get full marks, and then looked at the answers and decided if he really wanted to be that sort of person ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Amos Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:35 PM I' d love to see the computer tell me it caught me fibbing about my beliefs and therefore was condemning me to hell!! LOL Amazing how these ancient and absurd superstitions roll down the centuries, isn't it? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Bill D Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:49 PM "your score is 32...you will go directly to hell......wait...no, not the plug, I'll reconsid...bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........." |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: dianavan Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:51 PM At present, it looks like you are headed to Purgatory. Your test results indicate that you have conflicting beliefs and actions. When these beliefs and actions merge harmoniously, you will find inner peace and embark on your journey to Heaven or Hell. I'm a 47 but I'd rather go to hell than purgatory (I figure most of my friends will be there). I guess I'll have to give in to some of my baser instincts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Peace Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:54 PM Well, to put it briefly, I am fu#ked! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: John Hardly Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:56 PM I took the test for you, Bill D. I am typing this on the replacement keypad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: frogprince Date: 24 Apr 05 - 12:57 PM If you didn't guess, this thing is written from a deeply sarcastic angle. I scored 43 with honest answers, then went back and did it as a religious robot with nothing in my head but the echoes of pious platitudes and G.W. Bush speeches; scored 91, full speed ahead to the realms on high. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: John Hardly Date: 24 Apr 05 - 01:04 PM Just for the record, as the resident "fundamentalist" (and just possible Ebbie, coming from like background might confirm), there are no "evangelical", "fundamentalist" Christian answers possible in the test. That might be obvious, given that purgatory is a possible outcome. Still, it had few answers that even reflected how a Christian, as I know the term, would answer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Liz the Squeak Date: 24 Apr 05 - 01:06 PM 74 and heading straight for those pearly gates!!! LTS shining up that halo now.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Peace Date: 24 Apr 05 - 01:12 PM Hold the beer and watch this! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Tinker Date: 24 Apr 05 - 01:23 PM 44...and set to burn... Gee I even taught Sunday School this morning. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Amos Date: 24 Apr 05 - 01:26 PM Tinker: Did you have a hangover while teaching? That can do it sometimes..... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: GUEST Date: 24 Apr 05 - 01:38 PM 44. I'll bring the ice water. At least the music will be better. You know what they say - the devil has the best tunes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Blissfully Ignorant Date: 24 Apr 05 - 01:54 PM Your score is 26. You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive. 26? God, i'm evil... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: *Laura* Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:21 PM 34. Hell. Woop woop. You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive. So... how does being an individual make me go to hell? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: John Hardly Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:22 PM It was about uncertainty. It was about the fleeting feelings of living in a world with so little to believe in, Yet so much for which to be thankful. It was about knowing, beyond a doubt, that when I squeeze my eyes shut at night and say a final prayer for the day, that when I wake up I will still know, yes still know that, though my boxer shorts have crept up just a tiny bit in the night...I still don't have a complete wedgie. It was about knowing that, come what may, I will never, as god is my witness, buy liver and onions at a Denny's again. It was about knowing that the cat that sometimes licks his own hinder parts, will sometime, maybe later that very day, lick my hand with that tongue. It was about knowing that all the greatest literature in the world is nothing more than letters and punctuation arranged into patterns. and that, if one can find a good pattern, one can join the world of writers of fine literature. It was about knowing that "I" comes before "E" except after "C" or when sounding like "A" as in "neighbor" or "weigh". Wierd, huh? All these things I know. But I don't want to be dogmatic or anything. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: *Laura* Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:23 PM Oh sorry - I just realised. it was probably written by someone just like the Shrub so obviously if I don't conform and I think creativity is more important than religion (or whatever it was) then yes... yes I will go to hell. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Peace Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:26 PM All work and no play makes . . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Blissfully Ignorant Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:27 PM Who the hell wants to go to heaven, anyway? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Nigel Parsons Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:27 PM Your score is 59. At present, it looks like you are headed to Purgatory. Your test results indicate that you have conflicting beliefs and actions. When these beliefs and actions merge harmoniously, you will find inner peace and embark on your journey to Heaven or Hell. Oh well, where was that thread about the location of pugatives? Nigel |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Peace Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:32 PM Purgatives . . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: saulgoldie Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:39 PM 37, wooowee! Glad to see that I'll have some good company. We'll have an helluva band, I s'pect! Course I don't believe in any afterlife, so I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Nigel Parsons Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:43 PM Thank you Brucie, but I'm already s***ting myself knowing I'm not sure to go to heaven! Or to take a quote from an old panel game: Questionmaster: "If all the good girls go to heaven, where do the bad girls go?" Leslie Phillips "My Place!" ("Ding Dong!") Nigel |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Peace Date: 24 Apr 05 - 02:44 PM The Official Greeter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Ebbie Date: 24 Apr 05 - 03:20 PM "Laura", in the Bible it says that people must be like sheep, not goats. Goats analyze and then act. Sheep don't question, they just follow. John Hardly: "It was about knowing that the cat that sometimes licks his own hinder parts, will sometime, maybe later that very day, lick my hand with that tongue." Keep in mind that human bites are considered more toxic to humans than those of most other species. The human mouth - and tongue - are loaded. ;) The fundamentalist view, of course, is that since friendship stems from love and since love stems from God, there will be NO friendship in hell. Enjoy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Blissfully Ignorant Date: 24 Apr 05 - 03:22 PM They probably wouldn't let us lot in to hell anyway....they'd be afraid we might take over... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 24 Apr 05 - 03:46 PM God don't want me and the Devil is scared i'll take his job away. Guess if I ever die I will have lots of friends around the fire to play and sing with :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: John Hardly Date: 24 Apr 05 - 04:09 PM "*Laura*, in the Bible it says that people must be like sheep, not goats. Goats analyze and then act. Sheep don't question, they just follow." Actually, it's not putting too fine a point on it to say that the Bible doesn't say that we must be like sheep -- rather, it accepts that we are like sheep -- easily led astray. When God is spoken of as our Shepherd, it is to illustrate his care for those who are, by nature, lost. When Jesus is spoken of as the "Lamb of God" it is because of the sacrificial nature of his mission on earth, and to illustrate the submissive nature with which he accepted the crucificion. I will keep the advice about human bites in mind, but I might still continue to post here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Ebbie Date: 24 Apr 05 - 04:37 PM hahhah But I must reiterate the Biblical point regarding sheep and goats- remember, in Revelations where the sheep go to one side of God and the goats on the other? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: GUEST,sheep Date: 24 Apr 05 - 04:58 PM Baad baaaad baaaaaaaad people! Humans are the only ones needing a Shepherd around here. At least we always know EXACTLY which way our hooves are headed! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: John Hardly Date: 24 Apr 05 - 06:33 PM I'm not finding that passage in Revelation. I've tried every concordance I have bookmarked and can't even find the word "goat" in Revelation. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 24 Apr 05 - 06:34 PM I won't waste my time taking the silly test. I know that (if it's there, and the criteria for up-and-down assignment are really as generally publcized) I'll meetcha all (most of you) in hell. As Mark Twain said: "Heaven for climate; hell for company!" Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: GUEST,goats Date: 24 Apr 05 - 06:56 PM That's ok John. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: *Laura* Date: 24 Apr 05 - 06:58 PM Or as Terry Pratchett said: "There were several similarities between heaven and hell, Crowley noticed, you couldn't get a decent drink in either of them for a start..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: GUEST,goats Date: 24 Apr 05 - 07:00 PM Let's try that again... I kid you not! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Ebbie Date: 24 Apr 05 - 07:11 PM Hmmmmm, John Hardly. I'll have to look it up. It is possible that it was an image I formed in my youth... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Ebbie Date: 24 Apr 05 - 07:38 PM This is all I've found so far. This is not in Revelations but in Matthew: Matthew 25:32 All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. Matthew 25:33 And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: John Hardly Date: 24 Apr 05 - 07:47 PM That's good enough for me. I sure can't find my way around the Bible like I once could -- just didn't remember that kind of thing in Rev. ...and just to clarify what I said: I'd never argue that we aren't called God's "sheep" -- the only point I was "arguing" (though I was barely screaming at all) was that we aren't told to be like sheep. We are aptly described as sheep because we often do not think for ourselves, and it was also a very good contemporary picture for a caring God -- the picture of a shepherd. ...and, though I've seen very few "slasher" movies, everyone knows that goats represent the devil. I have it on the authority of Barnabas Collins. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Scoville Date: 24 Apr 05 - 07:52 PM 49 (Purgatory). How dull. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Rapparee Date: 24 Apr 05 - 09:23 PM Your score is 42. Ah, Mark Twain was right! See y'all later! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Shanghaiceltic Date: 24 Apr 05 - 10:23 PM Your score is 39. You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive. Ho hum, better get me asbestos underwear out! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: freda underhill Date: 25 Apr 05 - 03:29 AM 39 - me too, frank! lucky i don't believe in hell. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: *daylia* Date: 25 Apr 05 - 07:45 AM Not to worry folks - Hell sounds inviting! From the Test site: Hell offers the finest in arts and entertainment, creativity and emotions, foremost among them love and suffering. Hell is by far the most colorful of the celestial realms. The Realm of Hell is inhabited by myriad demon species. Upon entering the Gates of Hell, you will be greeted by a select breed of demons spawned in the River Chaos. [see the greeter pic brucie posted above hee hee] Note: we admit to having our share of tormented souls, but the fire and brimstone stereotypes are unfounded. There's lots of time prepare too. Right now I'm brushing up on the 7 Deadly Sins, C21 style (also from that same site); "Greed - An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth. Envy - A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another. Dishonesty - Violation of truth or trust; a disposition to defraud, deceive, or betray. Malice - A desire to harm others or to see others suffer; extreme ill will, spite, or hatred. Oppression - Arbitrary, cruel, and unjust exercise of power or authority; subjugation by cruelty. Intolerance - Refusal to recognize and respect differences in opinions or beliefs. Conformity - Unquestioning adherence to a set of socially accepted thoughts, beliefs, and behavior." |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: *daylia* Date: 25 Apr 05 - 09:14 AM Oh yes, with all due respect to Moses, I wanted to get some feedback on the new and improved 10 Commandments taken from the Test site: "Here are the Ten Commandments for the new age of the planet Earth, in no particular order, because they are all important. We believe that the first draft of the Ten Commandments was too negatively worded, therefore we have given equal weight to both prohibitive and motivational commandments in this latest edition. The "Shalt Nots" Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not lie. Thou shalt not hate. Thou shalt not oppress. The "Shalls" Thou shall love. Thou shall create. Thou shall seek knowledge. Thou shall have courage. Thou shall know thyself." I like 'em! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Amos Date: 25 Apr 05 - 09:27 AM Me too! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Don Firth Date: 25 Apr 05 - 03:04 PM 46. Purgatory. Actually, I was hoping for 42, the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. It is said that W. C. Fields was pretty indifferent (if not downright hostile) to religion. While on his death-bed, a friend came to visit and found him thumbing through a copy of the Bible. "I'm a bit surprised, Bill," said the friend. "I didn't think you believed in that sort of thing. What are you doing?" Said Fields, "I'm looking for loopholes." Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: beardedbruce Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:24 PM I guess there is no point in being balanced..... "Your score is 50. At present, it looks like you are headed to Purgatory. Your test results indicate that you have conflicting beliefs and actions. When these beliefs and actions merge harmoniously, you will find inner peace and embark on your journey to Heaven or Hell. " |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: GUEST,georgiansilver Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:30 PM Goats to the left of me, sheep to the right and I guess. "I'm stuck in the middle with you". Oh God I love you! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Peace Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:31 PM So, for THIS you went to university? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: GUEST,georgiansilver. Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:56 PM I guess so!! I love you all. I love everyone....Oh am I so to be pitied? I love you all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Donuel Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:25 PM I did not take the test but the title of this thread made me think that the after life for a born again Christian would be an after birth. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Lin in Kansas Date: 25 Apr 05 - 11:11 PM Don, My score was 42, but it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I guess the secret died with Douglas Adams, eh? See ya there! Lin |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Lin in Kansas Date: 25 Apr 05 - 11:12 PM Whoops! Forgot to add that I'm also "slightly neurotic and somewhat enlightened" according to their psychology test, and am "Unholier than Thou," thank goodness! Fun site. Thanks daylia. Lin |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: dianavan Date: 26 Apr 05 - 01:01 AM The holier than thou test says: Your score is 51. You are remarkably average, and therefore are neither Holy nor Unholy compared to other humans. Play it cool, and you may be able to sneak through the gates unnoticed. Thats about right, I'd say. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: dianavan Date: 26 Apr 05 - 01:05 AM The neurosis pwychology test says: Your score is 42. You are slightly neurotic, and fairly enlightened as well. Hmmmmm.........? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Blissfully Ignorant Date: 26 Apr 05 - 01:20 PM Your score is 38. You seem to be completely sane to us. Congratulations on being an enlightened individual! THat's the neurotic test...I passed the unholier than thou, too. I'm unholier than thou!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Davetnova Date: 26 Apr 05 - 01:36 PM Ebbie - Re.- Cats and tongues? Does this mean never share a joint after oral sex? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Ebbie Date: 26 Apr 05 - 01:42 PM If everyone eats garlic, no one is offended. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Raggytash Date: 26 Apr 05 - 03:29 PM Looks like I'll have a lot of people to talk to down there (score 40), I did it a second time (just for devilment) and scored a moderately decent 99 |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: *daylia* Date: 27 Apr 05 - 10:48 AM Apparently I'm "slightly neurotic but fairly enlightened" as well (maybe it's from taking too many tests like these!) I'm also neither holey nor unholey. HA! What do they know... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the Afterlife Test From: Firecat Date: 27 Apr 05 - 04:21 PM Your score is 57. At present, it looks like you are headed to Purgatory. Your test results indicate that you have conflicting beliefs and actions. When these beliefs and actions merge harmoniously, you will find inner peace and embark on your journey to Heaven or Hell. Yeah right! |
