BS: Hebonics

Subject: BS: Hebonics
From: sixtieschick
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 02:28 AM

Hebonics

The New York City Board of Education has officially declared Jewish English -- now dubbed "Hebonics" -- as a second language. According to Howard Schollman, linguistics professor at Brooklyn College and renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish.

Prof. Schollman explains, "In Hebonics, the response to any question is usually another question -- plus a complaint that is implied or stated.

Thus 'How are you?' may be answered, 'So how should I
be, with my aches and pains?'"

Schollman says that Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with "sh" or "shm" at the beginning: "Mountains, shmountains. Get away with this hiking. You want a nosebleed?"

Another Hebonics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: "It's beautiful, that dress."

Schollman says one also sees the Hebonics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as
"He's slow as a turtle," could be:
"Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks."

Schollman provided the following examples from his recently released best-selling textbook, "Switched-On Hebonics:"

Question: "What time is it?"
English answer: "Sorry, I don't know."
Hebonic answer: "What am I, a clock?"

Remark: "I hope things turn out okay."
English response: "Thanks."
Hebonic response: "I should be so lucky!"

Remark: "Hurry up. Dinner's ready."
English response: "Be right there."
Hebonic response: "Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the 'hurry' business? Is there a fire?"

Remark: "I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time."
English response: "Glad you like it."
Hebonic response: "So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties I gave you?"

Remark: "Sarah and I are engaged."
English response: "Congratulations!"
Hebonic response: "She could stand to gain a few pounds."

Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?"
English answer: "Just say when."
Hebonic answer: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?"

To the guest of honor at a birthday party:
English remark: "Happy Birthday."
Hebonic remark: "A year smarter you should become."

Remark: "A beautiful day."
English response: "Sure is."
Hebonic response: "So the sun is out; what else is new?"

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 02:48 AM

Heh. And a bit like Yoda sounds it.

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: freda underhill
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 03:07 AM

So what is this? A linguistics forum?

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: sixtieschick
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 03:11 AM

Linguistis shmistics. You want that I should explain to you what it's about? Better you should call your mother and ask her. She hasn't heard from you lately, and why is that?

Miriam

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Azizi
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 08:20 AM

I don't know no Hebonics.

But that's cool & the gang. I don't know Ebonics either.

It bes like that sometime.

Catch you later, with ya bad self.

I'm outta here!


LOL!

Azizi

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 09:14 AM

The sentence structure sounds like German, with sarcasm. It's mainly the verb at the end of the sentence, I think. That would be the Yiddish influence....

And freda, linguistics, particularly etymology do come up a fair bit. Normally as a song origin thread, and people start looking at the language, especially any words that stand out as unusual, as clues to where and when the songs comes from.

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: freda underhill
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 09:40 AM

irony, Bunnahabhain!

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: artbrooks
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 09:47 AM

With influences like Mudcat, we should know from grammar, then?

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 10:16 AM

Irony shmirony. You want I should give you irony, freda?

I have this big metal gate outside my house. It's very irony.

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: GUEST,Azizi
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 11:32 AM

That was a good one, JennyO!

You get five 'Brownie points' for play on words.

Keep'em comin!

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: GUEST,Azizi
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 11:36 AM

Of cause sixtieschick should get 'mad' {lots of} Brownie points for starting this ball rolling...

And Freda should get some for her irony

and so on and so on...

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 03:12 PM

gads! Some of those neighborhoods are gonna sound real interesting when HEbonics and Ebonics get mixed together!

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 03:32 PM

I am English Ma'am! Irony and sarcasm run in equal parts in my blood, as does the illegitimate lines of a number of Kings. If I cannot use either I shall ignore the pair of them, and the Devil may have any who disagree.

I remain, ma'am, Your obiedient servant,

Bunnahabhain.

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Azizi
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 03:59 PM

Bunnahabhain, I got this image of "lines of numbers" running in equal parts through your bloodstream while chanting double time military cadances:

Sound off! 1-2
Sound! off! 3-4
Sound off! 1-2-3-4
1234 1-2-3-4

****

But I had some trouble figuring out what would make those lines of numbers illegitimate.

And I'm not quite sure if those lines of numbers I selected are 'equal' or not. Since 2 is more than 1 and 4 is more than any of those numbers, I guess they're not really equal...

But then again, maybe it depends on how you look at it.

I guess that's true for everything.

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 04:03 PM

Illegitimate kings is a step up from illegitimate cattle theives, which is what my ancestors were. Apparently. I can quite believe it...

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 04:08 PM

O, where is Leo Rosten when you really need him?

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 07:35 PM

Leo Rosten? In here. Not enough of him, but some.

But why "Hebonics"? At the very least it should be "Hebronics", except that "Yinglish" is a better word already, and already in wide use.

I suppose it supposed to be a rather heavy handed play on words with the term "Ebonics".

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 08:21 PM

I see it exactly that way, a play on "Ebonics".

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: sixtieschick
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 08:31 PM

You betcha. Hebonics is derived from Ebonics. And both are derived from Sanskrit, fer sure.

Miriam, descended from cantors, pushcart peddlers and Jewish coal miners

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: bobad
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 09:00 PM

The education of H*Y*M*A*N K*A*P*L*A*N love that book.

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 10:00 PM

You go, Bubeleh!

Chanteyboychik

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: Kaleea
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 03:07 AM

Geez, it reminds me of the great commedians I saw on TV when I was a little girl, like Alan King, Jack Benny, Uncle Miltie, Sid Cesar, Carl Reiner, Phil Silvers, etc. etc.. & one of the funniest songs I ever heard--if done with the correct vocal inflection & rolling of the eyes as Eddie Cantor sang, "Making Whoopie."
But what of this "new" stuff Troy is doing called "Hick Hop?"

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: PoppaGator
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 03:32 PM

What am I ~ chopped liver?

Too bad Martin Gibson recently up and quit; this is one of those rare instances where he might well have made a positive and hilarious contribution to "BS."

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: GUEST,McGrath of Harlow
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 05:55 PM

Don't tempt fate...

Hyman Kaplan is OK, but the Joys of Yiddish, that's something else.

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 07:48 PM

Hebonics! Just shows that some in the academy are educated beyond their ability to think simply. Most of his examples could have come straight from the Joys of Yiddish, if they didn't actually. At least Leo Rosten, who by the way is long gone, didn't take himself seriously. This sounds like some of those new syndromes that medicine has invented. Insomnia is now called Sleep interruption syndrome, and there is a syndrome which is a long phrase which merely means shyness. Give me a Break! Sheesh.

Subject: RE: BS: Hebonics
From: sixtieschick
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 11:15 PM

Hebonics shmonics! You think that we should take this stuff seriously? Better we should take Dubbya's language as a joke. There is no Howard Schollman listed on the Brooklyn College website and there are quite a few joke websites featuring the above Hebonics riff. So, maybe drink some Manischewitz and lighten up a little?

Miriam