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BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux!
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Subject: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:01 AM So the niece is gettting married in October. Good news. in Fact great news. Which became even better when she asked me to sing at her wedding. Still good news. then she asked me to walk her down the aisle along with her father. Estatic news. Mind-bending happy news. And now she's making me wear a tux. AAARRRGGGHHHHH! 'cours she's had me wrapped around her little finger since the day I walked 25 miles each way to see her the day she was born. But she KNOWS I don't do suitcoats let alone ties. and she's making me put on a TUX!!!! Then she's moving to Japan - so I won't even be able to retaliate |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Amos Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:02 AM IF you make sure it's large enough, it won't kill you. Think of it as a variation of Creative Anachronism! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Sorcha Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:15 AM You knew you'd have to pay the piper! LOL!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: sian, west wales Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:24 AM Well, there are tuxes and tuxes. Do some research; you could be Way Cool ... siân |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:26 AM You deserve this! You shall be re-effing-SPLEN-dent! :~) And cute as all git-out! Get one that feels really, really good. Sinfully luxurious. We want pix, of course, but so do you-- for your publicity kit. Personally, I want a life-size cutout as a permanent installation in ther MudDorm Attic! So get a shot stretched out, that I can put up there on your bed, OK? ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,mmario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:37 AM it's a bloody conspiracy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Noreen Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:43 AM You could look as good as this... :0) (My tuxedo cat is perfectly happy with hers.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Wesley S Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:54 AM In a previous life I used to sell mens clothing. Here is some advice for when you go for your fitting : 1- It's not the tailors fault. Don't take it out on him. 2- They've heard all of the jokes about monkey suits and penguins. Don't go there. 3- Wear a dress shirt with a collar to the fitting. 4- Take a pair of your own socks to the fitting also. You don't want to put on the socks that everyone else uses. Trust me. 5- Have it fitted as soon as possible. Bite the bullet. Get it over with. 6- If your niece gives you an option go for a single breasted tux with a shawl or notch lapel. They look the the best on a wide varity of body shapes. 7- If they put a wide pleated belt around your waist it's a cummerbund. The pleats go up. They were designed to hold theater tickets. 8- Spring for the formal shoes. Nothing looks worse than a tux with your dress shoes. Yes - it matters. The women will notice. What's the plus side ? 9- Prepare for sex. If you can act casual as if you wear a tux all the time and don't tug at your collar like a school boy at his first dance the women will find you irresistible. They will want to touch you and take you home with them. Just try to refrain from saying "My name is Mario - M Mario". |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Leadfingers Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:55 AM Mmario - IF its only a one off , you dont need to actually BUY one ! Rent the fanciest one you can find , with either a fancy Waistcoat or a matching Cummerbund and Bow Tie , AND POST PICCIES !!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:00 AM Yeah, like Wesley said-- NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don't like cologne, put some cinnamon sticks and cloves in your pocket, wrapped lightly in gauze. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: jeffp Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:04 AM For pity's sake, MMario. It's just another form of garb. If you throw yourself into it wholeheartedly, you'll carry it off with aplomb. And like everybody else said: You had better share pictures!!!! Jeff |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:19 AM WESLEY! geesh - can't I have a little support here? okay - notes to myself - buy a dress shirt before the fitting. wait! I don't have to! I have the new one I bought for Dickens festival last year and never wore....*sigh* white dress shirt. shades of the ten years I had to wear white shirts as a cook. Hated them then, hate them now. Kim is gonna OWE me big time. What's a dress shoe? (I own 1 pair of shoes. of course I will be renting the shoe w/ the Tux.) of course rental on the tuxes - I know "experts" say buy - but since the last time I was even in a suit coat was for CelticSoul's wedding two (three?) years ago What are the chances I'll ever need to wear a tux again? Or did I skip the coat and just wear the tie for that. I don't remember. I know it was only one or the other. The last time I wore BOTH was for another wedding a couple years before that - and only because both bride and groom were friends. Jeff - there's a reason beyond cost that I wear peasant garb....*grin* Of course - My sister's idea at first was that I should be in full ren-garb for the ceremony (I nixed that in the bud) HOpefully the rental place will be able to fit me. I've got the legs of a dwarf and the arms of an orangutang. (Seriously - finding "off the rack" stuff with a SHORT enough inseam or LONG enough sleeve is a major pain for me. That's *IF* I can find the waist or neck size needed in the first place. Shoes I can always fudge by going up a size or two to get the width I need.) [whinge mode on] But I don' wanna wear a tie! Bow ties are Dorkie! The shoes pinch my toes. Not to mention it'll be HOT! {whinge mode off] |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:20 AM SEX!!! More sex!!! ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:24 AM sex? with WHO? probably the only women of my generation attending will be my sisters! |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Bill D Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:29 AM know what you mean, Mario...I wore one ONCE...for the wedding of my best friend....though it was his wife's family that wanted the excess formality. He and I and the best man staged a couple of wicked pictures before the ceremony to ease the pain. *grin*.....anyway, just think of it as another temporary costume in your repertoire and play it for all it's worth! (Like, show up with some weird hat and swear you're gonna wear it for the ceremony...until the last minute..) we DO want pics!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Micca Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:29 AM MMario, ever thought of renting a Kilt and accoutrements?, here are some reasons for 1 you dont have the problem of trousers versus jacket fitting!! 2 and ANYONE can look GREAT in a KIlt, it was DESIGNED for "non-standard" shaped people!! 3 you have a handy knife doen thr sock for anyone that takes the piss |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:29 AM Who cares what generation?!?!?!? ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: CarolC Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:32 AM And you looked great in that suit at CS' wedding, MMario. You'll look smashing in a tux. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:39 AM WYWIWYG - old fashioned New England upbringing, remember? By the time I worked through my guilt feelings.....oh never mind. Micca - kilt I'd have no problem with. heck - it would give me the excuse to buy one. (considering the number of people that have tried to talk me into it in the past 22 years I know I'll eventually break down and get a kilt.) But I'd want the great kilt, not the modern one, and they probaby wouldn't let me do that even if. But they want all the males in the wedding party in tuxes. I still think it's a conspiracy. I'm really just whinging for forms sake - glad to have a place to do it because I would by preference escort her wearing one of my comfy mudcat t-shirts - and even I know that would be a bit much. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Amos Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:44 AM Aww, Leo, ya KNOW yer gonna look spiffy!! Relish the moment!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:45 AM Re: Upbringing. Consult Kendall. :~) Or jacqui. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 11:58 AM it's nothing about how I'll LOOK - it's about how I'll FEEL. I want comfort. Ties, collars, shoes, and multiple layers of clothing just ain't not comfortable no-how! |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 05 - 12:03 PM Buck up, man! I once OWNED my own tux. Wore it for a Halloween at the library where I was then working. Worked like a champ -- the ladies who were over 65 just went nuts over me! Of course, I also have a gold-headed ebony cane to complete the outfit. Now, when you say "tux" do you mean formal or informal dress? Personally, I think that you'd probably want to wear full formal dress -- including the small sword. A hint: get a clip-on bow tie. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: SINSULL Date: 18 Jul 05 - 12:13 PM Yum Yum MMario in a tux! Orson Wells in a tux caused the same reaction. Enjoy the new look and take lots of pictures. SINS |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: CarolC Date: 18 Jul 05 - 12:15 PM I suspect that while you're watching your beloved niece get married (trying to hold back the tears), you won't even notice how your clothes feel. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Metchosin Date: 18 Jul 05 - 12:28 PM Aha! Thanks for the idea Micca. Our youngest daughter is getting married this coming weekend and dear hubby still hasn't got a good pair of slacks or even a suit, for that matter. A kilt would be be perfect, I think he is entitled to wear at least 4 different tartans and he has fine legs. With a daughter named Ceilidh, it would be very appropriate. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Dave Swan Date: 18 Jul 05 - 12:33 PM Yeah, and don't think about all the other poor fools who have left their flop sweat and panic vibes behind in the same rented suit of clothes. How's that? A true pal won't talk you out of feeling bad, he'll tell you that you are truly screwed and will commiserate with you, then buy you a beer. I owe you a beer. But....I still wannna see pictures. Cheers, D |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Metchosin Date: 18 Jul 05 - 12:34 PM And congratulations and do not feel alone MMario. My husband is of similar size, although the wedding is less formal. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 12:40 PM well - maybe I can do this and help convince a friends daughter to wear a tux and stand up as her Dad's best man at his wedding. I don't even feel like a hypocrite doing that because I've always liked the look of a woman in a tux. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Wesley S Date: 18 Jul 05 - 01:07 PM My best man was a woman. She found a tux jacket at a resale shop that fit her and put it with a black skirt and looked smashing. Our maid of honor was 8.5 months pregnant too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Bunnahabhain Date: 18 Jul 05 - 01:11 PM The WHOLE point of a Tux, or any other formal jacket-and-waistcoat combination, is so at some point in the evening, as the temperature drops, you gallantly offer your jacket to the lady next to you in the fabulous, sexy, but not warm outfit, preferably just before she says she's cold. Or at least it works that way in Scotland, with kilt jackets. You're not somewhere warm, are you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Jul 05 - 01:34 PM BTW< I'm not fooled at all, Mmario-- I think you are actually bragging about all this, as well you should. Nyah-nyah! ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 05 - 01:49 PM Full court clothes! Complete with decorations! |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Skivee Date: 18 Jul 05 - 01:59 PM The tux with kilt look could work well for you. and BTW, I think dress shoes have a skirt of clothe around the bottom. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Jul 05 - 02:00 PM Just in case the message didn't get through loud and clear already, I wonder if I should re-word that? Naw. . . SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Pauline L Date: 18 Jul 05 - 02:13 PM Just think of it as a Renaissance costume and concentrate on your niece. She asked you to walk her down the aisle along with her brother, so she must feel that you're really special. I'm looking forward to the photos. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Don Firth Date: 18 Jul 05 - 02:19 PM Okay. This calls for emergency levels of creativity. There is a woman here on the periphery of the folk scene who, some years back, invited a bunch of the crew to a party that she said was going to be "white tie." She wanted to put on a bash that verged on the elegant for a change. But little did she reckon with the general smart-ass nature of the people she was dealing with. Well, I had a white clip-on tie (don't remember where I got it—probably a gift) so I wore that with a very loud sport shirt. But I was sartorially far outdone by others. For example, Walt Roberson arrived wearing a white tie. But no shirt. Bare to the waist, except for the tie. Gary Case and Dick Gibbons (the fellow who wrote Sully's Pail) arrived carrying a railroad tie that they had painted white. And then things started getting really bad! You say "Then she's moving to Japan - so I won't even be able to retaliate." Well, you could teach yourself to waddle like a penguin, and then at the wedding. . . . Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 02:25 PM nah - I'm not gonna do anything deliberate to spoil things for her. Like I said - I walked 25 miles each way to see her the day she was born - and she's gotton more precious to me since. Just REALLY don't wanna wear a tux! (didn't even want to wear a suit - but was willing to do it cuz it was her - but I was planning to skip the tie) |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell Date: 18 Jul 05 - 02:45 PM If you're renting formal shoes, make damned sure they fit comfortably. Get them a size larger than what you usually wear if need be. There aren't many more miserable ways to spend several hours than wearing shoes that try to squeeze all the bones in your feet into half the space they usually take up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 05 - 02:50 PM I have to wear a tux in October. I'm going to wear business-type loafers that fit and are well broken in -- I been around too damned long to put up with uncomfortable shoes. MMario, may I suggest either hiking boots or moccasins? Or a nice pair of comfortable sneakers? |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Don Firth Date: 18 Jul 05 - 04:14 PM Ah, the sacrifices we make. . . . Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Wesley S Date: 18 Jul 05 - 04:39 PM "didn't even want to wear a suit - but was willing to do it cuz it was her" A tux IS a suit - it's just a black suit. And if you're strong enough to sing in front of people you're strong enough to wear a tie. You can do it !! We're rooting for you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Tannywheeler Date: 18 Jul 05 - 05:01 PM I'm a Calvin Trillin fan. He once wrote a prose piece about his tux. He bought one for his high school grad. events. Having managed over the years to control his weight, he's only had to have it slightly alterred 2 or 3 times. He wore it for college formal stuff, his wedding, some New Year's Eve parties, etc. He was writing on the occasion of finding out from his tailor that it just needed cleaning and hem repair, or something small like that, to wear to his daughter's wedding. He worked out the amortization--what it had cost him, divided by how many times he'd used it--and it came to .25 per wearing. Thank you for being the kinda guy who would NOT tease his niece at such a time. Lotta stress, she's aiming for as close to perfection as she can come for the event. Tells you she thinks you fit that bill. Not a good time for a joke. Tw |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST Date: 18 Jul 05 - 06:59 PM A tux for a wedding? A morning suit and ascot surely. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 18 Jul 05 - 07:11 PM I see what you mean MMario But if Pavarotti can do it so can you! Though I think something like this might be better... |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: MMario Date: 18 Jul 05 - 09:29 PM Guest - it will be a late afternoon wedding - morning suits aren't appropriate after noon. (According to Miss Manners) McGrath - muu-muu's are so passe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 05 - 09:48 PM How about a cutaway, waistcoat, boiled shirt, white tie, and lederhosen? But I'm with those who recommend a full formal kilt, complete with sporran, dirk, and scean dubh. You can use the formal Stuart (Stewart) plaid for the dressy occassion.. (You should be okay as long as you're not in Scotland.) Pipes, like most deadly weapons, would probably not be welcome. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 05 - 09:54 PM Come to think of it, there ARE other options! |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Peace Date: 18 Jul 05 - 09:56 PM The one in the upper left. Gotta be that one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 18 Jul 05 - 09:59 PM I sew clothes. Make sure the clothes fit, and you will be comfortable. Bertie Wooster used to dance all night in formal clothes. The others are right - you will be So Sexy in your tux. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:04 PM Yeah, I thought so too. The one in the upper left. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: bobad Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:10 PM Yeah but do the shoes go with the skirt ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Amos Date: 18 Jul 05 - 10:58 PM You guys are electing to make MMario dress up like an evzone???? This is going too far! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Rapparee Date: 19 Jul 05 - 09:11 AM No, like a Greek. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: LilyFestre Date: 19 Jul 05 - 06:21 PM For some reason I'm hearing ZZ Top....Every girls crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man! As for the girls, are you kidding me? You in a tux AND singing? They are going to be lining up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MmmmmmHmmmmmmm! :) Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: SINSULL Date: 20 Jul 05 - 08:52 AM Big men with beards look very elegant in a tux. I still want pictures. SINS |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,Curious Date: 20 Jul 05 - 04:17 PM I guess the ladies will want to know your shoe size too. Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink - Know what I mean ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: GUEST,MMario Date: 20 Jul 05 - 04:25 PM well, I'll tell you curious - they wouldn't have to guess my shoe size if I had agreed to wear my ren-garb to the wedding. I don't believe the BS you ladies are slinging *grin* But feel free to keep trying to re-assure me. leenia - How can one possibly be comfortable in a shirt, vest, and suitcoat - even before you add the tie? that's a layer more then I normally wear OUTSIDE! |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: LilyFestre Date: 20 Jul 05 - 04:45 PM *looking over at WYSIWYG* HMPH...he thinks we are BSing him!!!!!!!!! Mmario....are we gonna have to tie you up and beat some sense into you at the MudGathering? Hmmmmmm? WYSIWYG tells me there is a pole in the stairwell...a perfect little dungeon.... *wink* LOL Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Don Firth Date: 20 Jul 05 - 04:45 PM Seriously, I would vote for one that Rapaire posted (boink!). That's downright elegant, and it avoids the penguin look! Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Rapparee Date: 20 Jul 05 - 05:01 PM And a knife in your sock gives it a renfaire aire. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: Homeless Date: 20 Jul 05 - 06:41 PM Y'know MMario, if I were you, I'd be seriously considering wearing a tux to the FSGW this year. |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: M.Ted Date: 20 Jul 05 - 09:00 PM My advice is to buy a tux on the internet--there are a bunch of places, Discount Tuxedos , Cheap Tux, Fine Tuxedos, etc and you will be amazed to find that you can get one for about the same, or even *cheaper*than renting--the tux I got was a Neil Allyn, which is what you get when you rent, and came with a shirt, cummerbund, tie, studs, -- but you can get anything, including the Italian designer numbers, for much, much less than you would believe- they fit me over the phone(which, bizarre as it seems, was perfect--they need only sleeve length, chest size, and waist--you can get the pants finished at a dry cleaners for five or ten bucks. The places that sell on the net are really uniform dealers, mostly in and around NYC--the jokes about looking like a waiter are true, a tux is really just a waiters black suit, and waiters don't pay men's store prices for them, why should you? If you wonder why should you own rather than rent(other than that you pay the same whether you rent or buy)?Because next time someone wants you in a tux, you'll have one. The pants come with these little adjustment tabs so that they fit as well next year as this year-- When you have a tux you use it--I've MC'd several special events in it, and wore it when I was an extra in a movie--so the investment has been payed back several times over already, and it still looks great! If it helps you any, think of it as a costume-- |
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Subject: RE: BS: AAAARGH! I gotta wear a tux! From: DMcG Date: 21 Jul 05 - 05:54 AM The dress shoes point is an interesting one. I own some dress shoes, but cannot for the life of me see what makes them particularly different from other shoes I might wear to the office. I only know they are dress shoes because they were labelled that way when I got them. |
