BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.

Subject: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: GUEST,Wilfred Ames
Date: 28 Jul 05 - 09:57 AM

Are you upset about something? I mean REALLY upset! Most people are. I'm upset about many things. I'm upset about the depletion of the ozone layer. I'm upset about intrusive advertisting and vulgar rap music. I'm upset about people who cut me off in traffic. I'm upset about the obscene salaries paid to professional sports people. I'm upset about my wife's penchant for harping on and on about my old shirts. I'm upset about the neighbour's dog! Boy, am I ever upset about that filthy mutt! OOOOO! I'm upset about Vladimir Putin! He should be defenestrated. I'm upset about North Korea, Somalia, Togo, and South Ferriby. I'm upset about spam and I'm upset about anonymous Guests on Mudcat! I'm upset about Max and I'm upset about thread name changes by Joe Offer! ARRRGHHH! I am so upset.

I bet you feel this way too, don't you?

Well, here's what you can do about it. Start a petition. Yes, you heard me. Do it now. Start an internet petition and you will feel much better about the whole thing. You can either do a collective petition about ALL the things that upset you...Or....you can do multiple petitions...the scattergun effect.

I recommend the latter. Flood the internet with petitions against all the stuff you are upset about, and you will soon feel much better. You will establish contact with others who are upset by the same stuff, thus gaining the comfort of knowing you are not alone.

You can also make money doing this. When people get really upset, they can be persuaded to contribute money toward eradicating whatever it is they are upset about...and YOU can collect that money! Yes, indeedy. After all, you NEED money in order to have the time and wherewithall to administrate the petition process, tabulate the responses, and submit them to the proper authorities and the press, isn't that right? It takes mucho dollars to do that, right?

And you need a salary to support yourself while administering, right? A substantial salary. If you have, say, 50 or so petitions going at once, you can make a bloody fortune getting people upset about stuff!

So, do what I do. Get upset. Let others know about it. Cash in.

You can thank me for this by sending $5 to Box 99, Podunk, Iowa, USA.

Thank you very much!

- Wilfred Ames

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: John Hardly
Date: 28 Jul 05 - 10:06 AM

LOL!

How about an internet petition to stop internet petitions?

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 28 Jul 05 - 10:56 AM

You gave yourself away, Wilfred. You failed to specify a ZIP code for Podunk! Ha!

The true Podunk is in New Jersey!

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 05 - 12:18 PM

Talk about a depressing name for a place...

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 28 Jul 05 - 12:31 PM

I once had a plaice named Dover ... or was that a sole?

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: Peace
Date: 28 Jul 05 - 01:04 PM

New rock song out: "Hake, haddock and sole."

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: open mike
Date: 28 Jul 05 - 02:56 PM

hook, line and sinker??

better to be pissed of than to be pissed on...

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Jul 05 - 03:52 PM

New Jersey? Nope!

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 11:04 AM

"DO THIS!"

Remember those Groucho Marx glasses---the ones with the mustache attached--and the big nose???

Whenever I used to get upset, especially when stuck in traffic jams in Chicago, I'd take those glasses out of my glove comapartment AND PUT THEM ON. Nobody seeing me could stay upset for long. And I certainly mellowed out pretty quick too!

I suggest this good tranquilizer to you all!!

Love,

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: The Beast of Farlington
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 11:48 AM

Personall, if people upset me, I just eat them.

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 11:49 AM

An elegant solution. Are you a tiger or some other form of large predator?

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 11:50 AM

Beast,

That was in very bad taste.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: The Beast of Farlington
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 11:53 AM

Little Hawk

I shall leave that to your imagination

Art

Perhaps, but a little seasoning often cures that problem

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 05 - 12:20 PM

Well, beast, as a small winged predator to a probably much larger one I wish to say: "Bon appetit!"

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 30 Jul 05 - 12:01 PM

Be sure to check out the Johnny Depp film DEAD MAN. They out-do the Donner Party.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jul 05 - 02:43 PM

But do the Donner party outdo the South Americans in 'Alive'....?

I entertained a whole heap of people last night by singing 'Downtown' very loudly in the car, with the windows open, sitting in a traffic jam for an hour. Well *I* found it entertaining!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Are you upset about something? Do this.
From: GUEST,The Beast of Farlington
Date: 30 Jul 05 - 03:44 PM

The Beast won't rise to the bait.....so to speak. Hur,hur,hur!