BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!

Subject: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 03:54 PM

It's true. He can. He can sing like Pavarotti. He never quavers and always stays right on pitch. He has a deep, full, resonant baritone voice. This shocking news may come as a revelation to many here, and it was only revealed recently by a disgruntled Hispanic servant, Carlotta De Arroyo, who quit the Young employ after being ask to stand in for a pinata at a recent Young family party.

Neil has tried for years to conceal his true voice from his audience. Why? Because the music business basically doesn't want people who can sing normally. They want people with gravelly voices (like Rod Stewart or Kim Carnes), blaringly histrionic voices (like Whitney Houston), distorted voices (like Joplin), basically ANY weird-sounding voice that does not sing pure on the note and sustain it properly.

Why? Because they want people who sound different and people who won't cause jealousy in other people who can't sing! Oh yeah! Figure that.

Well, Neil had to struggle to develop that quavering falsetto, lemme tell ya! Rumours are that he even parted with a certain body part or two in the effort to achieve it, but that is totally untrue, because in private he still sings like Pavarotti.

The cool thing is, you now have hundreds of thousands of Neil wannabees who try to make their voices sound just as quavery and creaky and falsetto as Neil's. This has been good for throat specialists everywhere.

Now that the truth is out, Neil is in danger of losing much of his fan base. That's how fickle the public is. One thing for sure, we are not going to hear Neil singing in his real baritone in concert. No sir. Far too much at stake for that, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Janie
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 03:58 PM

Hrrrumpf!!!!!!!!!

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: number 6
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 04:07 PM

who said he couldn't?

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: GUEST,Sylvester Killworthy
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 04:10 PM

As a founding member of the Neil Young Fan Club in Akron, Ohio, I wish to register a strong protest about this insulting thread! Neil's voice is in no way a baritone or anything like that. This Carlotta de Arroyo is a provocateur, a gold-digger, a troublemaker. She lies like a rug. She should be deported.

As for Little Hawk, he should have his feathers plucked and be served up at Colonel Sanders'!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 05:04 PM

Neil's ability musically has never been in question. THe fact that he is a 5 star Space Admiral is the real thing. Watching him perform is especially entertaining as I can never tell if he is playing that Les Paul or attempting to fuck it.

Spaw
CEO
Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: John Hardly
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 05:21 PM

I particularly like "Cracklin' Rosie".

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 06:50 PM

LMAO.....damn near choked John,,,,,,,,

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: GUEST,Sidewinder.
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 06:52 PM

I used to go to school with a Neil Young, many years ago, and he sounded like a canary chewing a wasp -could this be the same one?

Regards.

Sidewinder.

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 09:38 PM

Damn, what the hell gives in this place this week. We got more violators of the "Evacuate kidneys and bowels before reading this post" rule than we have had in a very long time!!! John ..... what gives son? You know better'n that. I am running out of underwear.

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 09:40 PM

That's HIM! But that isn't his real voice. He was trying to make it in music, so he adopted a "stage voice". The rest is history.

Sylvester, you are a certified fruitcake. You owe Ms de Arroyo an apology. It is my earnest wish that you should be assaulted in an alleyway by deviant emperor penguins and then tossed into a pit of famished shrews.

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 10:27 PM

thought we might see 'Spaw surface on this one. Haven't heard a lot from the centre lately.

A friend of mine interviewed Neil not long ago. Not about music, about Model trains, one of Neil's hobbies. Said he was a really down to earth guy.

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 10:47 PM

Yes, I was afraid the NYCFTTS had been closed down, but it hasn't. That's good news for those of us who are sliding down the slippery slope to inane incoherency and dyspeptic dotage.

I figure Neil is a great guy. I sure liked most of his albums.

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 11:56 PM

I have to admit that I like a lot of his stuff too. If I'm feeling far too good and need to come down I throw on Ambulance Blues from On The Beach.

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 09:09 AM

"Weld" should be a compulsory purchase for all folkies!

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 11:25 AM

"Weld"? What is that?

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 11:36 AM

A double album of Neil and Crazy Horse LIVE!!! 20 minute versions of 'like a hurricane,' 'cortez the killer' etc etc. Fab!
                     Even strawberries get it!

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 11:58 AM

Whoo-hoo! Gotta get that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: kirstenanderberg
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 01:03 PM

Neil Young is one of the best singers of that era. He is on pitch, he is not that weird falsetto thing bands like Kansas Foreigner boston rush and stix have going on with male vocalists...Neil is actually a beautiful vocalist. A large part of singing is inflection, and ability to move people, he does that well. He also can do impecable harmony as proven in all of his bands...the man IS a singer as well as an amazing musician on other instruments and a stellar songwriter.

I always wanted to figure out some way to remake "A man needs a maid" to be a wife needs a maid...or a woman needs a maid or a maid needs a maid..."

I have found you can substitute the word "Republican" for "Southern Man" to update that song!

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 01:14 PM

Well said, Kirsten. I agree that Neil's use of inflection is great. And he certainly has the ability to move people.

So maybe... "A woman needs a...butler?"

"James! Peel me a grape." "Yes, Ma'am."

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 03:26 PM

Hey, fuck Neil and the crazy horse he rode in on! The lad is terminally screwed and has been known to have had unlawful deciduous knowledge of a Les Paul. Were it not for Dr. Cajones at the NYCFTTS, Neil himself admits his balls would have imploded in upon themselves several years ago.

Ya' know when I occasionally think of getting people together simply because I'd like to hear the conversation, one of my many dreams is to get Neil together with Bruce Dern and let them spend an evening with Dick Cheney. Talk about testicular implosions! Cheney would completely lose it!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Neil Young really CAN sing!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 08:17 PM

Well, it's good to hear a genuinely insightful comment or two here for a change. Thanks for that, Spaw.