BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.

Subject: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:34 AM

Heehee.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:38 AM

at least you can spell Heehee....

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:42 AM

Yet how would a philosopher view plastic wrap? Or plastic rap--which I find much of it is? Is it but to be used for jelly sandwiches and mundane but necessary tasks of that sort? What happen to waxed paper? It was good enough for Lloyd George, and b'God it's good enough for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:45 AM

Lloyd George knew my father, ya know.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:50 AM

Take a large sheet of plastic wrap and cover the bowl of the toilet. Naturally you'll want to do this below the seat and the lid.

I've found that it's best if you lay the layers of plastic wrap from side to side rather than front to back, else your victim might catch on before the joke is done. Another good tip here is to leave some slack across the bowl, unless of course you don't mind having the victim's pee or barf or whatever run off the plastic wrap and onto the floor - probably because it isn't your house, but just in case it is, be careful and good luck

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:52 AM

That's the kind of thinking we need here. THANK you. (So, you suggest left to right instead of front to back? THAT's what I've been doing wrong. Dang.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: number 6
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:53 AM

I never knew Lloyd used waxed paper ... I though he used parchment paper. Hmmm ... everyday we learn something.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 12:05 PM

A philosopher doesn't 'view' plastic wrap....a philosopher intuits plastic wrap in an existential framework, devoid of prior ontological or epistemological value structure. Thus, plastic wrap embodies the essence of our cognative processes while retaining it's own integral je nais se quoi as an transcendental icon of recapitulative phenomena/noumena distinction.....much like tofu.

heehee

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Metchosin
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 01:30 PM

I shrink therefore I am.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 01:37 PM

Bah! Humebug!

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 01:43 PM

Perfect for boily bangers when you can't get sausage casings. And where can you find them these days? Hey? Hey?

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Metchosin
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 01:45 PM

Well I could have admonished to stop beating around the bush, so to speak and admit it is still legal to use it as a condom.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 02:25 PM

Now, THAT is a household tip (pardon me) ya just don't hear all that often.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 03:02 PM

I've heard it before. Ain't gonna say where, when or under what circumstances, but I assure you that I wasn't one of the parties directly invovlved (shall we say?).

But if you float plastic wrap on top of paint it will prevent a skin from forming. Of course, it's much easier and neater just to replace the lid.

And you can do a close fit of plastic wrap over a container of opened ice cream and prevent ice crystals from forming.

Wait! It occurs to me that you might talking about plastique wrap. That too has its uses, one of which it to start very hot, very fast fires.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 03:29 PM

It is not illegal to use plastic wrap to wrap up the decomposing body of unethical politicians, in a spider-like casement for storage or disposal. It is, of course, illegal to kill anyone, but politicians always find a way around that little inconvenience, such as by declaring wars on real or imaginary grounds... But using plastic wrap afterwards is not illegal.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Metchosin
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 03:31 PM

Surely everyone knows that nothin' says lovin' like something from the oven. Perhaps it might be a bit of a stretch for some, but it shouldn't be that hard to go from sausage casings to fresh rolls and come up with other imaginative uses...........that and hearing about it in a song many years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 03:43 PM

Nothin' says lovin'
Like someone in the oven....

Song of the witch in "Hansel and Gretel."

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: John O'L
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 04:10 PM

At last someone has explained to me the link between plastic wrap and tofu.

I felt overwhelming fulfillment when Roy Orbison explained the link between love and a stove, but that was as nothing to the rapture I feel today.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 04:29 PM

Rupture relief via plastic wrap ... ?

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 04:40 PM

Use it for sucking chest wounds. Tape three sides. Air out, none into the lung.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 04:44 PM

"... that was as nothing to the rapture I feel today."

Enlightenment is free...rapture costs extra! Please forward 29¢ + a mea culpa to the American Philosophical Assoc.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 04:47 PM

Capitalist!

Mea culpa: I gotta test-drive one of THEM!

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: John O'L
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 04:50 PM

Save a cupla them for mea too

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 04:51 PM

Dang right about the sucking chest wounds, Peace! It kinda freaks out first aid instructors when I tell 'em I know what to do about sucking chest wounds -- and that I can even do a trachetomy if I REALLY have to.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 05:05 PM

Demi Moore using plastic wrap:
legal, yes...tasteful?

Britney Spears using plastic wrap:

maybe not even legal

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 05:09 PM

hey! legal, and useful science!

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 05:16 PM

seems the durn stuff is almost as useful as duct tape!

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 06:25 PM

Wrap me up a coupla them Big Pink Britney's please

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: John O'L
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 06:37 PM

I wonder if Christo knows about this stuff...

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 07:33 PM

Fido pissed at you? Here's yer answer.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 07:34 PM

Preserve the moment you saw Elvis ALIVE!

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: LilyFestre
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 08:07 PM

Okay...I'm gonna be the stick in the mud and tell you that plastic wrap is great for making visuals of seeds/roots growing...fold a piece in half, roll the sides in a bit, tape 'em, fill the plastic sack with dirt, plant a seed and tape the bag to the window....kids love it.

I'm with Sttaw....the toilet thing is great fun...used to do that to my best friend's mom....OH did she get pissed *G*

We...er, I mean my friend..used to put toothpaste all over the seat too......

*innocent look*

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Janie
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 08:27 PM

Idle minds.....*sigh*

J.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 09:08 PM

KY Jelly on the doorknobs....

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: GUEST,marks
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 09:53 PM

NOTHING is as useful as duct tape.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Metchosin
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 10:09 PM

Well I dunno about that. I think duct tape might be rather uncomfortable.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 10:28 PM

Back in the days when I worked for a living, a coworker and I spent a boring Saturday afternoon running everything in our boss's office through an industrial shrink-wrap machine. Telephone, time clock, keyboard, desk calendar, pens, pencils, mail, you name it. If it would fit through the shrink-tunnel it got wrapped.

When the boss arrived at work on Monday morning he found everything in exactly the same place he had left it on Friday afternoon, but neatly wrapped in clear plastic accompanired by a sign (shrink-wrapped, of course) that said "The Contents of This Office Have Been Sanitized for Your Protection".

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:02 PM

YOu were fired from that job, right Bruce?



Dental dam

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bard Judith
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:10 PM

Legal but boring uses for plastic wrap:

Wrapping the remains of breakfast, say, one uneaten waffle.
Wrapping up your lunch sandwich to take to work.
Wrapping up your kid's lunch to take to school.
Putting over the top of the casserole dish you served for supper which nobody really enjoyed.
Helping out sprouts and silver colloidal generators (which are for what, anyhow?)
Waterproofing various items that have to go in your knapsack when hiking or canoeing

Legal and interesting uses for plastic wrap:

Creating outfits for Brittany, Madonna, Demi, etc.
Meeting your husband at the front door therein
Creating a sunroof for your car / skylight for your bathroom
Toilet-training your cat (no, really!)

Illegal but interesting uses for plastic wrap:

Using as a safe restraint for the burglar you caught in the basement at two in the morning
Nice futuristic variation on t-p'ing your neighbor's car or trees
Wearing as a sari to the Blue Jays' next home game at the Skydome
Substituting as a pet muzzle/collar/leash
Stretching across the mouth of an alleyway next to a favorite pub for a really LARGE-scale version of the toilet-seat boobytrap...


And I don't think we want to hear about the last variation, which would be 'illegal and boring uses'... or do we?

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: bobad
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:22 PM

Anyone remember The Fugs song "Saran Wrap"?

Wrap it up
Stick it in
Saran Wrap

Subject: ADD: Put All Your Faith in the Pill
From: Metchosin
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:52 PM

No.....but unfortunately I do remember the Brothers In Law's song, Put All Your Faith in the Pill from a very long time ago.

PUT ALL YOUR FAITH IN THE PILL

The world population explosion
Is making you feel rather ill
The doctors have said
You can hop into bed
And put all your faith in the pill


So put all your faith in the pill
Put all your faith in the pill
The Doctors have said
You can hop into bed
And put all your faith in the pill


The pill is a birth control method
It's the best one developed to date
You get somebody's daughter
To take one in water
There's no mess and no time to wait.


So put all your faith in the pill
Put all your faith in the pill
The Doctors have said
You can hop into bed
And put all your faith in the pill


It's been proven and tried by the Russians
The Chinese now make them at home
And it may not be true,
But word has leaked through
They are now being tested in Rome. (oh oh)


So put all your faith in the pill
Put all your faith in the pill
The Doctors have said
You can hop into bed
And put all your faith in the pill


So throw out your old fashioned methods
As you joyfully leap into bed
You can take your saran wrap
Back into the kitchen
And use it for cooking instead


So put all your faith in the pill
Put all your faith in the pill
The Doctors have said
You can hop into bed
And put all your faith in the pill


So here's to the boys in the back room
The chemists whose faith will not die
For they're working there still.
On a birth control pill
That's fifty percent Spanish Fly!


So put all your faith in the pill
Put all your faith in the pill
The Doctors have said
You can hop into bed
And put all your faith in the pill

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: bobad
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 11:57 PM

Very good Metchosin, I've not heard that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 12:04 AM

"KY Jelly on the doorknobs". Only way to have sex when you have kids. Put the jelly on the bedroom doorknob. Kids can't get in.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 02:30 AM

"Perfect for boily bangers when you can't get sausage casings."

Takes alot of guts to make them.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 02:45 AM

"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." — Will Rogers

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 03:18 AM

Love that quotation, and I couldn't think of where it should be placed, so I put it here. Sorry for the thread drift.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: John O'L
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 03:36 AM

"Sorry for the thread drift" -

I should think so.

Discipline. Self-discipline. It should not have been placed here. You should have started a new thread with it. Or sent it to a friend. Gift-wrapped.
Plastic gift-wrapped.
There. I've repaired the damage, please see it doesn't happen again.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 05:03 AM

Why does cling film (saran wrap) cling to everything except the thing you really want it to cling to?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: LilyFestre
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 07:42 AM

"Perfect for boily bangers when you can't get sausage casings."

Takes alot of guts to make them.


LMAO!

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Azizi
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 08:54 AM

You guys fooled me once-shame on me...

I thought the last word in the title had a typo and you really did want to talk about plastic rap.

Of course you know that "being real" is the stated goal of all rap MC's.

So sucker [meaning "no good"], rappers are said to be "plastic" if their product {ie. their raps} and/or their personas are found out to be "made up" which means "un-real" which means "no good" which means having no real street experience and therefore no real street credibility.

In hip-hop music, being "un-authentic" is the opposite of being "for real". People lose lots of props and are properly dissed if they are "faking the funk". Faking anything is a big no no.

Well...now that I think of it...faking wealth by sportin lots of bling bling-yes.

but

faking that you grew up in the streets and are straight up hard core when you actually are suburbia born and bred-no.

Think Vanilla Ice

and fakin that you're singing the words but it really someone else's voice is also a big no no

Think Milli Vanilli..

And I'm sure there are some more recent examples of rappers being plastic, but I'm relieved to say that I'm just too hip to know them..

****

So what are legal uses for plastic rap?

How about frisbees?

Or wall hangings?

Or you can just throw those plastic CDs in the garbage where they belong.

That's legal all around the world.

Peace out!

Azizi,
a lover of old school bubblegum rap {which I consider real authentic and fun listening when I'm in the mood}.

;o)

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 08:59 AM

Out here in The West (an' that includes Alberta, home of the current world's champeen), there's a contest held that don't get a lot of media attention. I'm referin' to, of course, is boudin suckin'.

Whatchado is real simple. Ya kill an' gut a bufferlo, what you flatlanders call a bison. Ya butcher it up good, and ya take the boudins out and kinda sponge off the outsides. Then ya take a buncha plastic wrap, an' ya use the good stuff cuz otherwise it can get a bit messy, and ya wrap up them boudins and take 'em on down to the contestants.

These fellers sit on the ground facin' each other. Ya drop the pack of boudins between 'em, and then ya hand each of 'em a jug of firewater. The good stuff, the kind made with new whiskey, river water, terbacker juice, blackstrap, red pepper an' stricknine powder.

Each one takes a big ol' drink and then picks up their end of the boudins an' when the bushway shoots off his pistol they start in sucking them boudins down. Ain't no chewin' allowed, but you can pull them ol' boudins back up if ya want. That's good show bizness, cuz it makes the other guy think ya got all the time in the world. An' besides, it's good practice.

So, when them fellers are prit near lockin' lips, the bushway whips out his Green River and slices the boudins in two, generally missing lips and noses, but not always. Then them suckers pull out the boudins and whoever sucked down the longest part wins. The prize is usually a new rifle gun, er maybe the hump meat of the buff, er a keg of firewater. Nowdays, the winner gits a plague fer his wall that reads "I'm a real sucker -- I got guts!"

The current champeen is a guitar pickin' fireman teacher from Hinton, Alberta. Feller sucked it right up in the best possible style.

An' you ain't gonna see this sport on no ESPN, neither.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 08:59 AM

[bleep] (for gratuitous vulgarity)Use it for cunnilingis to avoid that tunafish aftertaste

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Azizi
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 10:33 AM

GUEST 10 Nov 05 - 08:59 AM needs to be kicked to the curb.

or in the grand tradition of The Dozens, somebody needs to tell him [or her] "Your Mama!" and then rip him [or her] a new one.

Sometimes it's best to just ignore rude guests

but

sometimes you can't help but tell them to go jump in the lake {or words to that effect}.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:17 AM

's okay, Azizi. Rude GUESTs have a way of ending up at the centerpiece of a boudin-sucking contest.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 07:31 PM

Rip the door off your fridge, then use the plastic wrap to keep the cold air in. You can then see what you got in your fridge.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 07:53 PM

GOOD, USEFUL IDEA.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 01:03 AM

Ya heard about that, huh?

Love blood pudding.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Davetnova
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 11:52 AM

plastic wrap (clingfilm?) is handy for keeping ATN moist while transporting it to paint on doorknobs/toilet seats/jam for entertainment and bangs

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:09 PM

hey! I got a good one! Plastic wrap to cover yer computer monitor & keyboard, so when you are reading some of these 'interesting' ideas and you blow coffee, banana pudding or prune danish all over the screen and keys, you can just rip it off and not have to wipe down the whole thing!

thankyew, thankyew!

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:27 PM

Even eclectic philosophical tastes may be soothed on Mudcat threads. The heterogeneousness of topics allows room for all to participate, educate and learn. Wish I done what Bill suggests before I read his post. Jaysus . . . . Prune danish is a funny-sounding thing. Now I have to wip[poidrxnqwrH my computer keys.

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:30 PM

Prune Danish funny looking, too...

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:38 PM

Ya know, if that was growing somewhere on a guy's body it ud sure make ya nervous, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: matai
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 07:50 AM

Or hungry

Subject: RE: BS: Legal uses for plastic wrap.
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 08:03 AM

Parachutes.

Renders body bags unnecessary.