Song Challenge: Fishing fine

Subject: Song Challenge: Fishing fine
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 12:49 PM

So many angles from which to tackle this one:

Vancouver Sun, Page B03, 13-Apr-2006

More than 50 days of trial results in $102 fines for illegal fishing


KAMLOOPS - More than 50 days of trial over a span of six years netted the federal Crown fines of $102 against two Chilcotin natives convicted of illegal salmon fishing. In a case that Provincial Court Judge James Gordon earlier called as a "a monumental waste of taxpayers money," Caroline Billy and Robert Johnny were each fined Wednesday.

Billy and Johnny were charged with four counts under the federal Fisheries Act. The Crown alleged they sold salmon illegally between September 1997 and August 1998. The case got underway in December 1999, but did not conclude until September 2005.

When he gave his verdict last month, Gordon chastised both the federal Crown and defence lawyers, saying it's clear the lawyers lost sight of the fact the charges were summary offences and should have been the subject of a short, concise trial.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Fishing fine
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 01:53 PM

Billy and Johnny were anglers,
They wanted to make a few dollars.
But the cops came along,
Told them they were wrong,
And grabbed them by their collars.

Six whole years of waiting,
Now they are celebrating.
They've paid their fine,
Now they're drinking wine.
Whilst the judge continues prating.

Wasting tax payers money,
Really aint very funny.
Now the summary offenders,
Are both on benders,
Then off to catch some 'tunny'

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Fishing fine
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 02:10 PM

Two Chilcotin folks fishin'
Fer salmon got caught
Without a licence
And went off to court
The lawyers lined up
Both for and agin
And argued the case of
Such a heinous sin.

The judge was shocked
At the money they'd spent
And said "Lads, I know
Your profession is bent
But taxpayers can't be
Expected to pay
So this case is over
Today's the last day.

You brought me these fishers
You showed me this 'crime'
With exhibit 'A'
On my bench all the time.
Those two may be finks
But your evidence stinks
So I'm sending them off
With a paltry fine.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Fishing fine
From: Flash Company
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 05:53 AM

As I walked out one April morn, down by the river side,
Who should I see but two bold fishermen, with mounties at their side,
With mounties at their side,
Who should I see but two bold fishermen with mounties at their side,

Good morrow, you bold fishermen, where do you go today?
We go to court all bound in chains, we might get locked away,
We might get locked away,
We go to court all bound in chains, we might get locked away.

What did you do , my bold fishermen, why do you suffer so?
We caught some salmon to feed the kids about nine years ago,
About nine years ago,
We caught some salmon to feed the kids about nine years ago.

Why has this case dragged on so long, I asked the mounties bold?
After such a long delay, the trail is surely cold,
The trail is surely cold,
After such a long delay the trail is surely cold!

Oh yes, they said, the trail is cold, that's really very true,
But our Super ate the evidence, so what were we to do?
So what were we to do?
Our Super ate the evidence so what were we to do?

I said as Judge, I find this case a waste of Revenue,
It's cost about a million bucks, so I'll fine you a hundred and two!
I'll fine you a hundred and two,
It's cost about a million bucks so I'll fine you a hundred and two!

And all you lawyers in my court, A warning take from this,
If you mess about like this again, some Mudcat will take the piss!
Some Mudcat will take the piss,
If you mess around like this again, some Mudcat will take the piss!

Think it's traditional, so no one to acknowledge!

Flash Company (aka Brian Quinn)