BS: Pardon me Roy,

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 12:12 PM

"Ok, thanks, Yank...*snnnniiiiffffff*"

(very old and TOTALLY unPC)

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 11:35 AM

Always make sure to keep your thumbs out of the way!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 10:35 AM

...

Wait till he tly leploduce!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 09:09 AM

Okay, where' that Eskimo gal I've gotta wrassle?

Right nut go KAPOW!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 09:02 AM

When he stood up, his arse fell off.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Splott Man
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 08:34 AM

wooden eye?

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 04:03 PM

Sssssssshhh, they're gettin' closer.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 03:32 PM

I'll keep my eye open for you!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 02:49 PM

"go ahead, it's your cow"

-----------------------------------------

"you don't think I wanted a twelve-inch pianist, do you?"


-----------------------------------------

and the farmer says..."Well, damn... If that ain't the third gay rooster I've bought this month!"


--------------------------------------------------

"...whadda you mean, kinky? You wanta open the beer, don't you?"

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 01:58 PM

...Eats shoots and leaves. (Eats, shoots, and leaves.) Pandas--look it up.

Was it Letterman who coined the phrase: "More fun than Human Beings should be allowed to have"? I think of that line many times in this establishment.

Got stuff to do. Gonna try to leav.       Tw

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Cool Beans
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 10:19 AM

Now, where's that lady with the bad tooth?

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 06:06 AM

I will now put the bed, back in the cupboard!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 05:57 AM

Re: Noticing Art Thieme

We noticed, but we thought if we kept quiet, maybe he'd come back with some more.

(Art's always got a 'nother one, don't he?)


(bait) = "lock moss nesters."


Now SHHHHHHHHH - real quiet.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: freightdawg
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 12:32 AM

Well, its funnier if you get the punchline right - sigh.

"Blessings on thee little man, boyfoot bear with teak of Chan."

(going back to gradeschool)

Freightdawg.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: freightdawg
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 12:18 AM

An elderly oriental lumber salesman was having some difficulty maintaining his stock of expensive hardwood. No matter how much he ordered it seemed to vanish into thin air. The finest detectives in the country were called in to help solve the crime. After weeks of disappearing lumber and intense sleuthing about the only clues they could find were some small footprints, apparently made by a very young boy. This confused the detectives tremendously as the wood was very heavy and could not have been purloined by such a small criminal. Finally, in desperation the owner vowed to stay up one night in hopes that he could catch the thief red handed. All was quiet until about 3:30 in the morning when the old owner heard the rustle of wood planks being carried off into the countryside. He shined the brightest spotlight he could find onto the culprit, exposing a huge grizzly standing upright and wearing the tiniest little sandles he had ever seen, each bearing the imprint of a small foot. The proprietor surveyed the situation for a moment and then confronted the thief:






"Greetings to thee, little man, boyfoot bear with teak of Chan."


Freightdawg

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 12:13 AM

. . . would you please take the dog for a walk?

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Splott Man
Date: 07 Jul 06 - 10:30 AM

Bugger it - 1/8, 1/8, 1/8! *








* (That's 1 and 8 as in old UK shillings and pence)

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Splott Man
Date: 07 Jul 06 - 10:28 AM

Green side up!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 11:45 AM

When you get the banjo in the dumpster on the first try.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: clueless don
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 11:18 AM

Electric Bass solo!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 08:51 AM

Of course I will, but you won't mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 05:18 AM

Rap - good one, but it was a daffodil when I saw it!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 03:33 AM

I would have, but they were all at the funeral.

I don't know who he is, but his face rings a bell.
Sequel: I don't know who he is, but he's a dead ringer for his brother.

Now? You want Moo Shu Pork now???

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 11:04 PM

I caught it, Art. I groaned.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 10:03 PM

Alice,

Thanks for noticing my post above. Very nice of you. It does seem everyone here skipped over it. I do believe that was one o' my old puns.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 06:11 PM

Many times, but never with a daisy.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 06:06 PM

What, you don't have a vase?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 05:03 PM

Oh, gawd, they stole my girlfriend, too...

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 03:08 PM

Some arsehole's got my pen!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 02:13 PM

Oh! I just remembered where I left my umbrella!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 02:13 PM

Re the dick and mashed potato one, might that derive from 'spotted dick'?

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 11:10 AM

"Did you see the size of the dick on that moth?"

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 10:24 PM

"well, it worked out fine for awhile.. then huntin' season started, and I ain't seen her since."

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Alice
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 09:04 PM

Hey, FOLKS, go back and read Art Thieme's message in this thread. It seems like most of you missed it!

Good one, Art.
I bet you it gave you a jolt to see your line come up on a thread title!

Kudos to you.

Alice

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:41 PM

"Now WORK, you bastard!"

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 06:46 PM

I suppose I ashed for that!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Bill Hahn//\\
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 06:40 PM

I still loved that cat who ate my shoes----totally forgot that gem.
Along with Ben they cremated him and placed him in an urn the crowd all said a Benny burned is a Benny urned.


Bill Hahn---ba boom once again

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Bill Hahn//\\
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 06:38 PM

One more---a little fellow asks his (Jewish mother--tht is important here)---"what is fornication"? Go see your dad--she says.
Same question to dad---see your grandma
Same question---Grandma takes the little fellow into a closet and shows him a beatitful gown---and she says to him, "...boychik---dis is fornaoccasion".

   Baboom---and get the dialect right.


Bill Hahn

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 01:30 PM

They all gave me a penny.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Cool Beans
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 01:08 PM

Well, YOU try wiping your behind with three quarters, two dimes and a nickel.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 12:37 PM

Standing up in a hammock!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 11:33 AM

"Well, I might be stupid but I ain't lost."

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 06:45 PM

The whole SHOVELFULL?,Miss Kitty?

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 04:56 PM

No, no! I swear it's just ice cream!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 12:23 PM

The hole was smaller and it smelled better.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:29 AM

Shoot the dog!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:12 AM

Turn her over! Turn her over!

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Splott Man
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 11:08 AM

It's all right, I've got my bike outside.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 09:35 AM

There. there, there.

Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Jun 06 - 06:02 AM

Well well