BS: OUCH!

Subject: BS: OUCH!
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 09:41 AM

"PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island (AP) -- A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.

Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.

But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said."



http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/06/23/implant.wuit.ap/index.html

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 09:45 AM

$400,000 will buy a lot of Viagra.

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 09:51 AM

And it took him 10 YEARS to do something about it ?

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From:
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 10:16 AM

He apparently enjoyed it for 9 1/2 years....

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 10:43 AM

I sentence you to 10 years penile servitude.
G.

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 10:51 AM

well, the original article ALSO says he has 'other' health issues which don't allow the implant to be removed. (It also says the manufacturer went bankrupt)

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 08:43 PM

Hard to get a suntan on his back, I'll betcha.

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 09:41 PM

Ya' know, it works on other problems so maybe all this guy needs is a wax job! And probably the only thing better than doing the job yourself is to have a Chinese girl do it for you. Knew a guy with a priapic condition (for all you dumbasses, that's a boner that just won't quit) and he met this nice Chinese girl who was really interested in him. They were sitting on the couch and she was whispering in his ears, running her tongue around them, and things were progressing along. He asked her if she could help him with his "condition" and she said, "Oh yes. You need a wax job." He had his sausage polished before on many occasions but figured this was something especially Oriental and so he agreed.

She left the room and came back with two flat paddles, a ball of colored ribbons, and some handcuffs. Once again she ran her tongue around both his ears and then took down his pants. Without comment, she took his priapic member and laid it on one of the paddles, gently tying it in place with the ribbon. Again she kissed both cheeks and delicately ran her tongue around his ears. Then she handcuffed both hands behind his back and picked up the other paddle. She raised it high above her head and with a loud shriek, slapped it down on top of the other, flattening his willie between them. The guy's entire body stiffened as though it were undergoing an electrical shock......and the wax shot out of his ears.








With thanks to the late and great Buddy Hackett,

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: tarheel
Date: 24 Jun 06 - 10:16 PM

OMG CATSPAW...too dang funny!!! heheheheheh...
tar...

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: Rman
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 12:10 PM

Never accidentally rolled out of bed i'll wager.

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 03:41 PM

He should now use the $400K to get a brain transplant.

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 25 Jun 06 - 04:09 PM

Talk about too much of a good thing--lucky he didn't have to go live in a PENILE Colony!

But really, I'm with LH viz the brain transplant. And don't you just cringe at those hideous Viagra commercials (well, obviously), especially when the calm, cheerful, avuncular voice-over mentions something like "erections lasting more than 12 hours should be reported to a doctor..."?

~D

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 26 Jun 06 - 02:11 PM

I think I had the same problem from about the age of fifteen to twenty-five.

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 09:34 AM

Erections lasting more than 12 hours should be donated to the community.

I think it's tax deductible, too.

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:25 PM

Unless it's rigour mortis.... although that passes off after some time.

As for tax deductable.. .where would you like me to take my 10% from?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: OUCH!
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Jun 06 - 05:16 AM

Another guy I knew had a priapic problem and went into a drugstore only to find that it was run by two spinster sisters who were the pharmacists. He was hard up, so to speak, and decided he'd ask them no matter how embarassing it was. They listened to his tale and then stepped to the rear of the pharmacy for a brief conference. When they returned he pleadingly asked, "Well, what did you decide? What can you give me?"

The older sister said, "I'm very sorry but the best my sister and I can offer is $50,000 and half interest in the drugstore."

Spaw