Lyr Req: Bumper Sticker Song (Larry Groce)

Subject: Lyr Req: Bumper Sticker Song (early 70's)
From: robomatic
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 02:41 AM

Back in the 70's I had a small tape recorder and I loved to tape pretty much anything off the air. I captured the final stanza to a song made up of bumper sticker slogans:


"Now there's nothing wrong with sticking on a sign
We'll always found some outlet for our wills
And even though my own car has a clean behind
There ain't no warning there to post no bills.

And I always thought that bumpers were for stopping accidents
Back windows were for lookin' out to see.

"Visit Royal Gorge, Dump Nixon"
"If you can read this sign you are too close"
If you hate cops when you're in trouble call a hippie
Dimmit dammit, No Comment, Down With Hot Pants
And Have a Very Nice Day"

I did enough research on the web to discover that the song was by Larry Gross, erstwhile folk singer and currently host of "Mountain Stage" but I have not been able to locate a copy of the song or the full lyrics.

I figure if anyone else knows this song, it would be a member of Mudcat, and it's not out of the question that someone here knows Larry and he'll consent to post 'em!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bumper Sticker Song (early 70's)
From: Cool Beans
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 10:47 AM

Larry spells his last name Groce. That might lead you to more info on the Internet.

Subject: Lyr Add: BUMPER STICKER SONG (Larry Groce)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 01:31 PM

Hey, I remember hearing that song. I found the lyrics on this Czech Kenny Price fan page, so I can't vouch for their accuracy (or literacy).

BUMPER STICKER SONG
(Larry Groce)
? ? '73 Bonton Music, ASCAP / Peace Able Kingdom, ASCAP ?

There's a million miles of four lane concrete highway
Stretched out like cobwebs across the land
And we filled 'em up with shinny two tone ramblers
Fords Plymouths Chevy's Mac trucks and VW vans
But our wheels are no longer innocent there rolling frames of mind
Decorated with decals like the war
And there's a lot of people tryin' to tell the story of their life
In a two bit bumper sticker on their car

Keep your city clean eat a pigeon
War ain't no good for kids and other things
The law of America or you can leave it
Come see the friendly folks down at Camping King
Is it Royal Gorge don't mix 'em
All the way with a match and don't forget the MIA's
Remember the Bismarck think a green plant
Damn it damn it and have a very nice day

When guns rifle all outlaws have 'em
Don't buy grapes lettuce from the AIP
My God's not dead too bad about yours
Want to know bout cosmetics just ask me
Think snow think so
Restore bizarre if you can read this sign your too close
If you hate cops then your in trouble call a hippy
Up with people down with prisons curb your dog

Take a deep breath live dangerously
Remember when sex was dirty and air was clean
Drive like hell and you'll get there
Go big red let peace begin with me
Down with hot pants no comment
Be kind to animals kiss a frog today
Custer died for you sins pigs are people
Honk for Jesus and have a very nice day
Honk for Jesus and have a very nice day
***********

---

These lyrics are really crummy. I e-mailed Larry Groce and asked if he might like to give the correct ones.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: Req: Bumper Sticker Song (early 70's)(Larry Groce)
From: Peace
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 06:42 PM

'Ruach 5765's thirteen tracks include "Shirat HaSticker (The Bumper Sticker Song") by HaDag Nachash, which rocketed to the top of the Israeli pop charts in 2004. The song, whose lyrics were written by Israel Prize-winning author David Grossman, creatively juxtaposes dozens of bumper-sticker slogans from all points on Israel's political spectrum, uniting them around a chorus of "How much evil can we swallow?"

Different song, I know. But here is a link to the site LINK TO THE SITE. BTW In English it is called "Song of the Bumper-Stickers" and in English letters for Hebrew words it is called "Shirat Hasticker".

Subject: RE: Req: Bumper Sticker Song (early 70's)(Larry Groce)
From: Peace
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 06:56 PM

PS

Groce's song was written long before the Grossman song. (It kinda looked like I was implying otherwise, and such was not my intent.)

Subject: RE: Req: Bumper Sticker Song (early 70's)(Larry Gr
From: open mike
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 07:08 PM

is this the guy who wrore junk food junkie?

Subject: RE: Req: Bumper Sticker Song (early 70's)(Larry Gr
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 07:10 PM

Ayup. Same Larry Groce as the junk food junkie guy. His Webpage is here (click).
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Req: Bumper Sticker Song (early 70's)(Larry Groce)
From: robomatic
Date: 19 Aug 06 - 03:29 PM

Thank you Thank you Thank you. There are some obvious errors in the posted lyrics but I can derive all the little bits between them and memory, and thanks for the name spelling correction!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bumper Sticker Song (Larry Groce)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 05:10 AM

I got a brief reply from Larry Groce yeaterday:

Joe,

I can't remember whether or not I ever answered this email. I have tried to remember or reconstrict the lyrics to that song but have not been able to complete it yet. I have a vinyl copy but no player and I can't find a copy of the lyrics. If I do, I'll correct the site or send them to you.

Larry Groce

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bumper Sticker Song (Larry Groce)
From: GUEST,Me
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 12:14 PM

The Bumper Sticker Song
(with lyrics)

http://youtu.be/OYZmLXv4V8Y

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bumper Sticker Song (Larry Groce)
From: PHJim
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 12:34 PM

From the album "Crescentville" - Daybreak Records 1973

There's a million miles of four-lane concrete highway
Stretched out like cobwebs clean across the land
And we filled 'em up with shiny two tone ramblers
Fords, Plymouths, Chevys, Mac trucks, VW vans
But our wheels are no longer innocent, with their rolling frames of mind
Decorated with decals like the war
And there's a lot of people trying to tell the story of their life
In a two-bit bumper sticker on their car

Keep your city clean, eat a pigeon
War ain't no good for kids and other things
Love America or you can leave it
Come see the friendly folks down at Kamping King
Visit Royal Gorge, Dump Nixon
All the way with the Mets, Don't forget the MIA's
Remember the Pueblo, Thank a green plant
Dim it dammit, and Have a very nice day

When guns are outlawed, outlaws will have 'em
Don't laugh, your daughter's in this car, you see
My God's not dead, too bad about yours
Want to know about cosmetics just ask me
Think snow, Think sun, and Restore the Czar
If you can read this sign you are too close
If you hate cops, when you're in trouble, call a hippy
Up with people, Down with poison, Curb your dog

Well I know there's nothing wrong with sticking on a sign
We'll always found some outlet for our wills
And even though my own car has a clean behind
Well there ain't no warning there to post no bills.
But I never heard them advertise a signpost model for
A rolling billboards out of GMC
And I always thought that bumpers were for stopping accidents
Back windows were for lookin' out to see.

Take a deep breath, live dangerously
Remember when sex was dirty and air was clean
Drive like hell and you'll get there
Go Big Red, Let peace begin with me
Down with hot pants, No comment
Be kind to animals, kiss a frog today
Custer died for you sins, Pigs are people
Honk for Jesus and Have a very nice day.

Lyrics by Larry Groce

Subject: Lyr Add: THE BUMPER STICKER SONG (Jeff Steinberg)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 09:49 PM

Different song with the same title:

THE BUMPER STICKER SONG
As sung by Jeff Steinberg on "The Glove" (2006)

Some folks got stickers on their car like "God Squad" and "I Found It."
Some folks' necks is all rubbed sore from the crosses they hang 'round it.
Their Sunday-school-attendance pins hang right down to their knees,
But by their crabby faces, you'd think Christ was a disease.

Well, don't put that sticker on your car if you can't live up to it.
Don't wear that button sayin' "Praise the Lord" if you ain't gonna do it.
Well, I sing this song a-hopin' that you all will realize
If you ain't livin' what you preach, then please don't advertise.

Some folks got little statues on the dashboards of their cars.
Some give apostolic names to their twelve-string guitars.
They put their "Jesus First" rings right next to their Spirit doves,
But pizza and a midday squeeze(?) are the only things they love.

Some folks got t-shirts with a finger pointin' at their chins.
They give great testimonies of all their former sins.
Their "Please-Be-Patient-with-Me,-God's-Not-Finished-with-Me" buttons hangin' down their left side.
Well, take away their image strength(?) and they got nowhere to hide.

So don't put that sticker on your car if you can't live up to it.
Don't wear that button sayin' "Praise the Lord" if you ain't gonna do it.
Well, I sing this song a-hopin' that you all will realize
If you ain't livin' what you preach, then please don't advertise.
Yes, if you ain't livin' what you preach, then please don't advertise.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE BUMPER STICKER SONG (Gary Ballen)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 10:34 PM

Another song with the same title.

I found most of these lyrics on a Google cache copy of the songwriter's CDBaby page, and I added a verse that was omitted there but on the recording (as well as correcting spelling and punctuation). I heard it on Spotify.

THE BUMPER STICKER SONG
Written by Gary Ballen
As recorded live at The Pickwick Pub in Woodland Hills, California (2012).

Well, I's cruisin' down the highway in my '67 Goat.
With the radio blastin' I was singin' every note.
When I looked into the mirror, comin' up on me
Was the craziest car I ever did see.

Bumper stickers, bumper stickers ev'rywhere!
On the windows and the chrome, on the paint and on the spare.
There was little ones, big ones, blue, green, and red.
If you listen to my song, I'll tell you what they said.

CHORUS: if you can read this sticker, you're much too close.
Truckers carry a bigger load.
If you love Jesus, honk your horn.
Slow down; I brake for unicorns.
Females wanted; inquire within.
Save water; shower with a friend.
Don't follow me; I'm lost as hell.
Complaints to the driver can be hazardous to your health.

Well, cancer is the cure for smokin'.
Support your local police.
I love New York; I love L.A.
I love my pekingese.

Arrive alive; drive sixty-five.
Have you hugged your kids today?
America: love it or leave it.
One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day. CHORUS

Divers do it deeper.
Teachers do it with class.
I'd rather be sailin'; I'd rather be skiin'.
Get off o' my ass. CHORUS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bumper Sticker Song (Larry Groce)
From: PHJim
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 12:55 AM

Ray Wylie Hubbard's song Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother has a line about a pick-up truck with a bumper sticker. Many folks seem to insert their favourite bumper sticker quote in this line.
One (by Willie Nelson?) said, "I'd rather step in shit than smoke it."

It reminded me of some anti-vegetarian bumper stickers seen in Northern Ontario: "If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?" and "There's a place for all of God's creatures...right next to the mashed potatoes."

Subject: Lyr Add: BUMPER STICKER (Greg Adkins)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 08:51 AM

Another one found on Spotify. This has got to be ironic, right?

BUMPER STICKER
As recorded by Greg Adkins on "Thirty-Three" (2010)

You got a new bumper sticker on your car.
You got a new bumper sticker on your car.
It says Jesus is livin' in your heart, in your heart.
Got a new bumper sticker on your car.

Well, I saw you in traffic yesterday.
Yeah, I saw you in traffic yesterday.
I pulled up on the road and I started to pray
When I saw you in traffic yesterday.

So thank God for your bumper sticker.
I was a bigot and I was a sinner,
But I said goodbye to my wicked ways
When I saw your bumper sticker yesterday.

You got a new Christian t-shirt on.
You got a new Christian t-shirt on.
It says this much for you: your guilt can be gone.
Got a new Christian t-shirt on.

Well, I saw you at the grocery store.
Yeah, I saw you at the grocery store.
I said I don't wanna be a sinner anymore.
I fell to my knees right there by the cheese
When I saw you at the grocery store.

So thank God for your new Christian t-shirt.
I was gonna go to the 50-Cent concert,
But I said goodbye to my wicked ways
When I saw your Christian t-shirt yesterday.

BRIDGE: Now every morning I eat breakfast at Chick-fil-A,
And think how could I be more like Kirk Cameron today.
Yeah, tryin' to live The Purpose Driven Life,
So I don't get Left Behind.

You got a new Joel Osteen tattoo.
You got a new Joel Osteen tattoo.
Yeah, no one's gonna have any doubts about you
With that new Joel Osteen tattoo.

Well, I saw you workin' out at the gym.
Yeah, I saw you workin' out at the gym,
And now I've devoted my whole life to Him.
I found the Lord by the racket-ball court.
I came clean on the treadmill machine,
When I saw you workin' out at the gym.

So thank God for your Osteen tattoo.
I was so lost, I didn't have a clue,
But I said goodbye to my wicked ways
When I saw your Osteen tattoo yesterday.
I saw your Christian t-shirt yesterday.
I saw your bumper sticker yesterday.

Subject: Lyr Add: BUMPER STICKER WITNESS (Bryan Sirchio)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 01:01 PM

Lyrics copied from the songwriter's web site:

BUMPER-STICKER WITNESS
Music & Lyrics By Bryan Sirchio, Crosswind Music, 1995. All Rights Reserved.
As sung by Bryan Sirchio on "Artist's Hand" (1995)

1. I was driving down the interstate just minding my own business
When moving slow in the left-hand lane was a '57 Plymouth.
I flashed my lights to get her over to the right, but she would not move, and then I knew
That this was no run-of-the-mill mobile.

2. As I pulled up close I saw that entire car was covered
With umpteen zillion bumper stickers, one next to the other,
And every single sticker was a message for a sinner,
And then I realized I'd pulled up behind—

CHORUS: A bumper-sticker witness.
She's a bumper-sticker witness, yeah,
And she drives it to the limit for the Lord.
She's got a holy-rollin' Plymouth,
And that woman's zeal is driven.
She's a bumper-sticker witness for the Lord.

3. (I started reading) Jesus saves; His pain, your gain; I found it, Praise the Lord!
The God I worship is not dead; I'm sorry to hear about yours.
And Jesus Christ is tough as nails, and he was dyin' for you to meet him,
And may your words be sweet and tender, 'cause tomorrow you might just eat 'em. CHORUS

BRIDGE: If I did not know the Lord, I would not get caught dead.
Oh, have a little patience; God's not through with me yet.
One life to live will soon be past.
Only what we do in Christ will last.
And: Warning, in case of rapture, this car will crash!

4. When it seems there's no way out, then let the Savior in.
And make the Lord your captain and your team will always win.
She's got her foot on the rock and her name on the roll,
And she tunes her AM radio to the DJ of her dreams—"Paul Harvey—good day!" CHORUS

5. Well, I must admit these bumper stickers used to make me snicker,
But these cranking Christianese machines, well, just might be saving sinners,
And maybe when we reach those pearly gates we'll be surprised
To find that heaven's filled with folks who once pulled up behind—CHORUS