BS: Over The Top Fans

Subject: BS: Over The Top Fans?
From: Skivee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 02:48 PM

As a performer you have got to throw yourself out in front of the public...otherwise, you are just singing in the shower.
The vast majority of the audience will nice people, fun to meet, a source of great pleasure, perhaps informative...Nice folk.
On the other hand, a small percentage will be freaks who think that your private life is something you need to share totally, or that you secretly love them, that you are sending private messeges to their tinfoil hats.
Would you performers care to share tales of inappropriateness, and how you dealt with it?

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 02:59 PM

The fan in the back room of the White Lion makes a right din but until they ban smoking what can we do apart from switch it on?

Oh, hang on, is that not what you mean?

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Big Mick
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:03 PM

First one that comes to mind occurred one night when I was wearing a black kilt. This woman insisted on knowing what I had on under the kilt. I informed her that I was wearing it commando style. She insisted I was putting her on. I walked away a few minutes later and was standing in front of the stage talking to someone else when she walks up, and lifts the damn thing up around my chest, shrieks, drops the kilt and runs away. I guess you know that when I started the second half of the show, I had her square in my sights. I don't think she will ever do that again, as I worked her over the whole second half. I told her that turnabout was fair play, and that when she wasn't expecting it, I would be checking out her stuff. The crowd loved it, and I worked it for the whole show.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:16 PM

A St. Pats day or so ago, I got an invitation from a HOT young thing that I could only answer with

"Hunny... I'd love to.... But I'm a happily married man, and this place is too full of people who know it, and who wouldn't allow me to stay that way if I did. But thanks for the offer."

She stayed for the rest of the gig and just watched me in THAT way anyway....

Did an old-farts ego a LOT of good.

Even if I did keep my poor wife up half the night when I got home (She didn't really mind)

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: jeffp
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:20 PM

Doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home to eat.

In re Mick's post, why is it that so many women regard men in kilts as fair game for what is really sexual assault. If I came up to a woman and lifted her skirt, I would rightfully be arrested.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Big Mick
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:23 PM

My point exactly, jeff.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: bobad
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:29 PM

Aw, c'mon guys you love the attention, admit it.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:29 PM

Because "men in kilts" are MORE than fair game for ridicule

Especially a man in a skirt, who doesn't own a sense of humour

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: GUEST, Topsie
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:48 PM

Blame the people who put the rumour about. They presumably wanted to excite curiosity.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:53 PM

Clinton-

Just be careful where you say that. There are parts of this world where men traditionally wear what you would call a skirt.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Skivee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:54 PM

"Because "men in kilts" are MORE than fair game for ridicule."
Clinton, all right thinking peoples of the Earth agree with you on that count...doublely so if they are playing pipes at the time.
However, IMHO they do have the right to expect fans to keep their hands off the equipment.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: jeffp
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:59 PM

At the Md. Renaissance Festival this year I had a woman lift up my kilt without permission. If my wife had still been alive, that woman would no longer be. As it was, I couldn't have stopped her without spilling my ale, so..........................

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Scoville
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 04:02 PM

Actually, I always thought that women in kilt-style skirts looked kind of butch. But then it would never occur to me to assault a man wearing a kilt.

My dad gets hit on by women fairly often (he's 60. The women are all ages). My mother teases him about it. If he gets out of line, she threatens to send him over to so-and-so's house alone. Abandoning him to the wolves, if you will.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 04:25 PM

"There are parts of this world where men traditionally wear what you would call a skirt."
That's their problem, not mine

Back on topic....
Another steady gig (Has unfortunaly dried up since...) had a couple who used to drive twice as far as I did, in both directions, to hear my 'music'. That was the only time that they were seen in the place, according to the staff. I sometimes wonder how they're doing.

I have a theory that if the venue should ever open up again, and I play there, they'll show up.... maybe they're ghosts?

Heh

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 05:00 PM

inappropriate behavior when I'm performing? Other than getting up to leave, you mean?

can't think of any.... ;>)

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Skivee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 05:24 PM

I was thinking not just of inappropriate behavior while you are performing but also GIBD...Generalized Inappropriate Behavior Disorder.
Clinton's couple just sound like dedicated fans, bless them.
I was thinking more along the lines of the family who followed me for twelve years because they saw my singing pirate as an empowerment figure for their (starting off at) 4 year old daughter.
It went downhill from there.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: jeffp
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 06:06 PM

Damn, Skiv!! Had these folks ever heard "We Don't Go There Anymore?"

And they thought you were appropriate for a 4-year-old? Sheesh! Some people! Of course, I know 4-year-olds who know the words to all of your songs!

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Bee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 06:26 PM

I don't know about inappropriate, but I was at the Cohn in Halifax the first time the Chieftains played in Nova Scotia, and it was very amusing watching their reaction to a Nova Scotia audience. They'd just been in Ontario where the audience treated their act as a classical performance, stony-faced throughout with enthusiastic, but polite applause at the end. The Nova Scotians roared and whistled approval after each song, danced in the aisles or clogged in their seats at times, and now and then shouted out the names of favourite tunes. The boys looked very nervous for the first few numbers, and then began breaking out in huge grins. They later told the audience about their Ontario experience and admitted they were a bit worried by the initial rowdiness of the NS crowd.

Needless to say, they've spent lots of time here since, and are (were, for those now passed on) much appreciated here.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 06:39 PM

You can't stay here.
Your company's good, I know
But I must wake up alone.
And the party is over.

You can't stay here.
I'm moments away from sleep.
And what you want to say can keep
Til I'm awake and I'm...sober.

You can't stay here
When everyone else has gone.
I've nothing for you,
No song to sing for you only.

You can't stay here
Maybe you can't see why
But I'm an old-fashioned guy
And I'd rather be...lonely.

Maybe you think I'm unkind when I tell you to go away
I know what you offer, and I could be softer
And tell you to stay.

But to me, you're a stranger, to touch you is danger, I know it's true.
'Cause what I've got at home is too dear, to risk for an hour with you.
You can't stay here.

I'll be all right alone.
And when I'm safe in her arms at home...
I'll thank you for leaving.

You can't stay here.

You can't stay here.

You can't stay...here.

Stan Rogers, of course....

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Skivee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 10:23 PM

Jeffp, these folks latched onto me a looong time before we started doing,"Don't Sail There".
Some folks think that a pirate band must be aimed at kids. We are a frequently rude adult-themed band that plays to adults drinking in an outdoor pub. When I am about to do a REALLY rude song, I make some obviously cautionary remarks to the parents in the crowd. I congratulate them on resisting unfair and restrictive pressures, and for having the pride in their iconoclastic parenting style to bring children into a bar full of drunks, then I tell the kids an amusing little story to tell the principal of their elementary school about where they learned those new words and phrases. Few parents take their kids away. One mom actually brought her boy right down front will I sang the most absolutely rude song I do. But this is really an example of self indulgent parents who bring their kids into a bar, then complain maybe that the music isn't what they think the little kiddies should be hearing.
My stalker family was much worse. They told me that they followed me because their daughter as an empowerment figure because she had been kidnapped by aliens and experimented on...a lot. I have no odea what happened in that girls bedroom, but I'm confident that it had little to do with bug-eyed aliens and therimin music. And they had proclaimed me their hero.
Your stories?...

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: GUEST,jeez
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 10:28 PM

What happened to the topic? You all just like to pull on each other's shorts, it seems.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: number 6
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 10:45 PM

"I have a theory that if the venue should ever open up again, and I play there, they'll show up.... maybe they're ghosts?"

... or undercover cops, Revenue Canada officials.

Ok ... it's stoopid. I'm off.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: GUEST,Penguin Egg
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 03:49 AM

Big Mick, why did she shriek? Was it more than she bargained for? Reminds me of a reader's letter I read in Mayfair, or was it Penthouse, when I was a teenager many moons ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: kendall
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 09:49 AM

A few years ago I had a young woman come to me after my performance and insisted that I had to go with her to Greece. She claimed her family owned an island there, and although she didn't appear to be a nut case, I was married and had to decline.
Another time, a lady asked if I would go home with her. When I explained that I'd like to, but that I'm married, she said, I don't want to buy you, just borrow you for a weekend.

I saw nothing wrong with these women letting me know what they wanted, in fact, I was flattered.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 09:56 AM

Mick,
You weren't wearing that rotten potato in a lime green thiong, were you? I guess I need a definition of "Commando".
SINS, smiling innocently

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: number 6
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 11:11 AM

Wise move Kendall .... stay away from those groupies !

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 01:45 PM

"stay away from those groupies"

Bull... I married a groupie!
(And she's still the best one I've ever had)

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Skivee
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 06:56 PM

Man, most of these stories are fairly tame. I was hoping that someone would top my UFO family

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: number 6
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 07:41 PM

"And she's still the best one I've ever had"

I have to agree with you on that CH ! :)

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 04:42 AM

Well, I suppose it's all right, as long as ALL that gets lifted is the kilt...

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 02:33 PM

There was another guy at a gig some time ago.... REALLY dug "Sonny's Dream"... asked me for it when he came in....

"Well mate, I just played it 2 or 3 songs ago, but I'll tell you what, I'll end the set with it." Which I did. Before the song was over he left a pint of Guinness by the stage with a 5er wrapped around it....

I finished the set, left the 'stage', shook his hand and said thanks!!

On my way back up after break, he stopped me, and with an almost appologetic look offered his hand to me and asked "Would you play it again". When I shook his hand there was another bill in it. This time a 10er. "Um... sure mate. I can do that" (It was a cruddy little bar gig and a LOT of people there really couldn't care less if I'da lit my nuts on fire and pissed Glenfiddich)

So I started off that set with Sonny's Dream.... 3 songs later he tossed a 20 in my 'jar' and asked "again?" So at that piont, I figured what the hell.... if HE want's to pay that kinda bread for Sonny's Dream and nobody else in the place gives a shit, -I'd- be a moron to not play it.

By the time the night was over, I think I'd had 80 or so bucks off the guy, not to mention 2 or 4 pints and a couple of shot of Tully... The money was more than half what the owner paid me, when he shook my hand at the end of the night and said "Good show tonight, Clinton. Thanks!"

Is that over-the-top enough?

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Skivee
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:03 PM

Odd, but not over the top.
Over the top would have been if he didn't bribe you, demanded the song all through the night after you had played it twice, whined about "your version, which is wrong", then complained to the owner that you're snooty, and you mama dresses you funny.
I'm glad you got some money out of it, and a few good drinks.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 05:15 PM

Hey! Leave my mother out of this....

My WIFE dresses me funny...

,-)

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: Melani
Date: 30 Nov 06 - 11:00 PM

I find that at Ren faires we don't usually have to lift the guys' kilts--there's always some idiot doing it himself! The most impressive was the guy who had written "God Save the Queen" across his behind.

Subject: RE: BS: Over The Top Fans
From: GUEST, ...
Date: 01 Dec 06 - 04:57 AM

I'm still worried about one of Dave the Gnome's fans, who seems to have been locked in the back room where he had gone for a smoke, and is now shouting and crashing about.