Subject: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: GUEST,Art Thieme Date: 09 Dec 06 - 09:53 PM ...because we need it... Art Previous thread |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Peace Date: 09 Dec 06 - 10:03 PM A history here. |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: GUEST,Scoville Date: 09 Dec 06 - 10:07 PM That's a fun timeline. We used to have Condom Art Day in college. |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Peace Date: 09 Dec 06 - 10:07 PM This will keep the usuals happy. |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Cluin Date: 09 Dec 06 - 10:10 PM That Christo was some kinda joker. |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Dec 06 - 10:38 PM The One and Original Condom Thread |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bert Date: 09 Dec 06 - 11:43 PM You need a NEW CONDOM? What did you do with the old one? |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Amos Date: 09 Dec 06 - 11:50 PM Old condoms never die, Never die, Never die Old condoms never die They just float away... A |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: GUEST,Student 6 Date: 10 Dec 06 - 12:43 AM I hope they die fullfilled. |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Cluin Date: 10 Dec 06 - 02:18 AM Old condoms never die. They just get pissed off. |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: katlaughing Date: 10 Dec 06 - 02:51 AM Old condoms never die...they just get deflated. |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Naemanson Date: 10 Dec 06 - 05:12 AM Well, in answer to the thread, none of the above! A little operation and faithfulness and I haven't anything to worry about. Besides, I'd like a house in the country, not a condom-inium. |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Fidjit Date: 10 Dec 06 - 06:15 AM The Ancient and Old Irish Condom (Tune: "Rosin the Beau") I was up to me arse in the muck, Sir, With a peat contract down in the bog When me shovel it struck something hard, Sir, That I thought was a rock or a log 'Twas a box of the finest old oak, Sir, 'Twas a foot long, and four inches wide And not giving a damn for the Fairies I just took a quick look inside Now I opened the lid of this box, Sir, And I swear that my story is true T'was an ancient and old Irish condom A relic of Brian Boru 'Twas an ancient and old Irish condom 'Twas a foot long, and made of elk hide, With a little gold tag on it's end, Sir, With his name, rank, and stud fee inscribed Now, I cast me mind back thru the ages To the days of that horny old Celt With his wife lyin' by on the bed, Sir, As he stood by the fire in his pelt And I thought that I heard Brian whisper As he stood in the fire's rosy light "Well, you've had yer own way long enough, dear... 'Tis the hairy side outside, tonight." Enjoy Chas |
Subject: RE: Folklore: A new CONDOM thread!! From: John MacKenzie Date: 10 Dec 06 - 06:17 AM I have to add this and I make no further comment whatsoever. Giok |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Sorcha Date: 10 Dec 06 - 08:29 AM Thai sex worker stabbed man who refused to wear condom. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: John O'L Date: 10 Dec 06 - 05:10 PM From Peace's brief history - "The naming of the condom is a bit of a mystery...Most likely it came from the Latin word 'condom'...." Mysterious alright. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Slag Date: 10 Dec 06 - 07:13 PM Condum Thread?? Uh, I have somebad news for you. Thread does not make a very good condom, I would think. That's about on par with holy condums, blessed be the tie that binds. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: GUEST,lox Date: 10 Dec 06 - 07:22 PM Peace. Back to your first link, Were the french really still painting caves from 100-200 AD? Now that explains everything! ;'p |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Slag Date: 10 Dec 06 - 07:38 PM Did the French ever stop painting thei caves? |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: katlaughing Date: 10 Dec 06 - 08:42 PM Scoll Down |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Rapparee Date: 10 Dec 06 - 08:44 PM I've been to Condom. It's not as interesting as you might think. For one think, everybody in town speaks French (except for visitors, of course). Come to think of it, I've also been to Intercourse and Blue Ball.... |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 10 Dec 06 - 10:04 PM Heard about the Scots Regiment that needed a condom repair kit for the regimental condom? |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 10 Dec 06 - 10:22 PM A: Have ya' checked your stock against the condom recall. B: What condom recall. A: You hadn't heard? They recalled a couple of lots 'cause they broke real easy. B: Well how do you tell if you've got bad ones? A: By the serial numbers. B: There ain't no serial numbers on condoms. A: Well, I guess you just never needed to roll one down that far huh? John |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Genie Date: 10 Dec 06 - 10:32 PM My first reaction to the title "A new condom thread" was, "I didn't know condoms had threads" and "If you attach a thread to a condom, doesn't it make the think leak?" |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Dec 06 - 05:01 AM Condoms have threads? Left or right hand? (To add personal shame and humiliation to this thread... this weekend whilst looking for a bow tie, I found a box of 3 that passed their 'shag by' date 6 years ago..... how sad was I?!) LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: GUEST,Elfcall Date: 11 Dec 06 - 05:56 AM Sign seen at Lansdowne Road in late 70s - may be early 80s 'Our big ginger Willie is bigger than your Condom' Ths sign referred to Willie Duggan and Jean Condom of Ireland and France respectively Elfcall PS |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: GUEST,Elfcall Date: 11 Dec 06 - 05:59 AM I worked for a sexual health service for nearly ten years - my brief often had condoms, condom demonstrators and educational printed material. I once left my briefcase on the tube and went to Baker Street to reclaim it - They asked me what was in it? - so I told them - funny enough the woman did not check to verify my claims and handed it straight over with indecent haste! Elf |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Keith A of Hertford Date: 11 Dec 06 - 08:41 AM condom story in news |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 12 Dec 06 - 04:56 AM MSNBC reported the same article linked by Keith A of Hertford, at: Condoms a big problem for men in India "Most men's penises are an inch too short for popular prophylactics." In addition MSNBC noted that: "The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story "Indian men don't measure up."" That's hittin' pretty low ... . John |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Joe_F Date: 11 Jul 08 - 09:28 PM In my youth, I worked in a low-temperature physics lab, in which we used a decapitated condom as the sensitive element in a barostat for regulating the temperature of a cryostat. For that application, the most important property of a condom is impermeability to helium, so we tested all the brands. Alas, I no longer remember which brand won. Some delicacy was required in requisitioning the condoms, as we did not want rumors to fly in the purchasing office. We made an arrangement with one of the purchasing agents that when a requisition arrived for "thermistor covers", he would make a discreet trip to the pharmacy. According to a story in circulation at Caltech, a biochemist there had quite a different use for condoms: snapped over the top of a test tube, they would confine escaping gas without causing the pressure to rise. He used to buy them by the gross -- just right for a 12x12 rack of test tubes. One Sunday he was disappointed to find only 143 in the box. The next day, buying further supplies in the pharmacy, he mentioned the matter. The boy at the counter rose to the occasion by saying "Gee, mister, I hope it didn't spoil your weekend". As for me, I use whatever they put in the bowl at the bar. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Rapparee Date: 11 Jul 08 - 10:02 PM Way back when my brother worked for the Vocational Rehab division for the State of Illinois they would find jobs for folks who had finished rehab and were returning to the job market. They could force those who didn't want to return to work to choose a job or the division would give them one that they really couldn't fill: one was skull grinder and the other condom tester. The first was just what it says and the second involved putting randomly chosen condoms on air jets -- and not at all what you think! |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: dick greenhaus Date: 11 Jul 08 - 10:12 PM Well, when I worked for Playtex some years back, there was a gadget used for testing tampons called a "syngyna"-which is pretty much what you might think it is. Inside a large glass tube was stretched a thin, tubular latex membrane, which was also what you might think it was. One of our older male lab techs went into a local drugstore, and ordered a gross of condoms. The clerk, a sweet young thing, was a bit flustered by this, but nevertheless asked "plain or reservoir tipped?" Our gallant tech replied (in a rather rich West Virginia accent),"Oh, it don't make no never mind--I cut the ends off anyway. " I think the clerk eventually recovered. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bee Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:29 PM No wonder those tampons were so damn uncomfortable! |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: gnu Date: 12 Jul 08 - 06:07 AM Here's the longer version of Dave's joke at 10:04PM... A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist.The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandanna, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom.The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up, and eyes it critically. "How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the pharmacist. "Six pence," says the pharmacist. "How much for a new one?" asks the Scot.? "Ten pence," says the pharmacist. The Scot folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandanna, places it in his sporran and marches out the door of the pharmacy, kilt swinging. A moment or two later the pharmacist hears a great shout go up, followed by an even greater shout. The Scot walks back into the pharmacy, and again speaks to the pharmacist. "The regiment has taken a vote," says the Scot. "We'll have a new one." |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Jean(eanjay) Date: 12 Jul 08 - 09:15 AM female condoms |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Art Thieme Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:33 AM This surpasses, by far, the original thread. I feel we have all become radically more mature as we have "hung out" (so to speak and as it were) here at Mudcat for the last decade or more. Alas, contemplating what this might mean for the erection, er, election in the USA this year?! All the hotel rooms at the conventions will have complimentary bowls of little minty blue condomints. Is this progress? Yes, I think it is! Art |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: gnu Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:53 AM CondoMINTS. Oh! Yer suppose to suck them, not chew them? I thought they were kinda rubbery. Ya can't stop progress, eh. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Lord Batman's Kitchener Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:53 AM Somewhere over the |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Lord Batman's Kitchener Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:54 AM Rubber Rainbow |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: MarkS Date: 12 Jul 08 - 11:15 PM Generic Joke Condoms are being discontinued from sale to (insert your favorite ethnic or national group here) Couldn't be made long enough. There's just no end to those pricks. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Becca72 Date: 13 Jul 08 - 08:35 AM For your next visit to Portland, Maine: Condom Sense |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: gnu Date: 13 Jul 08 - 01:24 PM Becca.... Earthly Body Edible Massage & Body Oil 8oz Looking for a kissable massage oil that tastes great, smells amazing, is long lasting and moisturizing, and isn't full of chemicals? This massage oil by Earthly Body has a simple ingredient list: almond, apricot, grapeseed, sesame seed and hemp oils; Vitamin E; Rosemary and natural fragrances. • Edible Oil French Vanilla $14.99 • Edible Oil Strawberry $14.99 • Edible Oil Watermelon $14.99 Ahhh, here, The Coop has salad dressing for 99 cents in a much wider variety of flavours. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bonzo3legs Date: 13 Jul 08 - 01:49 PM They are always Johnnies to me, as in that wonderful line in Ashley Hutchings' song about Albert Finney - "Johnny in his pocket and brylcream in his hair"!! |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bonzo3legs Date: 13 Jul 08 - 01:56 PM Johnny in his pocket, brylcream in his hair Swearin', drinkin', Albert doesn't care What is all this condom nonsence? THEY'RE JOHNNIES. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bobert Date: 13 Jul 08 - 08:19 PM It was a new condom yesterday It's an old condom now... (Take off from Jethro Tull's "New Day Yesterday") B~ |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 08:47 PM A gift idea? http://www.condomania.com/prodinfo.asp?number=CS-WALLET |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 08:50 PM http://www.walletmouth.com/2008/02/valentines-da-1.html |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 08:52 PM OMAHA, NE—Donald Muller, a 33-year-old Omaha near-virgin, may never find out if the Ramses Extra Sensitive condom in his wallet is still good, it was reported Monday. "I really hope it hasn't deteriorated in the past three years," Muller said of the birth-control device, which was first inserted into his wallet in March 1996, prior to a St. Patrick's Day party that "didn't pan out." "I don't really have any particularly strong leads right now, but it'd be nice to know I was prepared just in case anything came up." Muller, who bought the condom in 1993 as part of a box of 12, said he hopes to strike up a conversation Sunday with a woman who uses the same laundromat as him. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 08:58 PM Be safe in more than one way. http://www.condom-wallet.breflective.com/reflectivesexycondomwallet_reflective-3M-scotchlite.php |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 09:00 PM Impact of Condom Wallet on Sexual Behavior of Police Officers in Ghana. Asiamah G; International Conference on AIDS (15th : 2004 : Bangkok, Thailand). Int Conf AIDS. 2004 Jul 11-16; 15: abstract no. ThPeC7467. Ghana Police, Accra, Ghana Issues: In 1999, condom use among Police Officers in Ghana was low. Only 50% of officers who had casual sex used condoms. Description: Armed with this information, an intervention to promote and distribute condoms in the police was started. This included a novelty - Condom Wallet. A Police officer on operational duty is provided with a Condom Wallet filled with condoms. The Wallet is worn on his belt as part of his official uniform, and he is given instructions on how condoms are used, and replacement of used condoms. The Condom Wallet is not intended to promote promiscuity, but to serve as a life jacket against HIV, ready to be used in the event of one 'falling in to water' by accident, as most casual sexual encounters tend to be. The slogan is: 'Condom Wallet, your Life Jacket'! Lessons learnt: Surveys conducted in the year 2000, showed significant increase in condom use as 65% of police officers who had casual sex used condoms. The rate of condom use continued to increase every year, and in 2003, surveys showed that all police officers (100%) who had casual sex used condoms. Again, barriers to condoms are broken as condoms have become more easily available, and both police officers and their spouses discuss condoms freely. The condom wallet has generated a lot of interest and fun on condoms among police officers, which has led to very significant increase in condom use in the police. What is even more interesting is that police wives do not have problems with policemen carrying condoms to operational duties. Recommendation: The simple Condom Wallet technology, has led to a universal condom use by police officers in casual sex. All barriers to condoms among police officers in Ghana have been broken. It is against this background that, the Condom Wallet is highly recommended for use by other Uniformed Personnel on operational duties. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 09:03 PM One for the fairer sex? http://www.snorestud.com/Present/condomwallet.htm |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 09:05 PM For the Texan Mudcatters http://www.condomdepot.com/product/detail.cfm/nid/231/pid/3301 |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 09:08 PM How would one get a spray on condom off? http://condomunity.com/60-incredible-patents-you-dont-want-to-miss/ |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 13 Jul 08 - 09:25 PM http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5187d31dea |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bryn Pugh Date: 14 Jul 08 - 10:47 AM There was a leaf for a personal organiser with three condoms in the pockets FILOFUX. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bonzo3legs Date: 14 Jul 08 - 01:51 PM If there's one word used by wankers it's issues. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Amos Date: 26 Feb 10 - 01:08 PM By EDWARD ROTHSTEIN Published: February 4, 2010 Exhibition Review | 'Rubbers: The Life, History & Struggle of the Condom' Unrolled, Unbridled and Unabashed |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bonzo3legs Date: 26 Feb 10 - 03:29 PM Whe I was at school they were known as Johnnies, and that how I still refer to them. Condoms is a rediculous word. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Rapparee Date: 26 Feb 10 - 03:30 PM I simply cannot condom...condone...this and hereby condom...condemn it. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: GUEST,999 Date: 26 Feb 10 - 03:32 PM "A new CONDOM thread!!" And exactly what was wrong with the old condom? |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bill D Date: 26 Feb 10 - 05:42 PM "...they were known as Johnnies, and that how I still refer to them. Condoms is a rediculous word." Johnnies??? That's one MORE euphemism using some male name to avoid saying 'naughty' words. I pity anyone named Johnnie, Peter, Willie or Dick. Condom as least has the virtue of not being cutely ambiguous. It's not a bit ridiculous. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Stilly River Sage Date: 26 Feb 10 - 06:02 PM How did I miss this until now? Must go back and read. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Rapparee Date: 26 Feb 10 - 07:32 PM Condom is a town in France. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bill D Date: 26 Feb 10 - 07:49 PM A town in France? Can I send them a French letter? |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Rapparee Date: 26 Feb 10 - 10:30 PM Yes, and you have to include and English Letter with it. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 27 Feb 10 - 04:52 AM Undoubtedly the museum next door to the exhibition so ably described by Amos should feature the devices described (with some illustrations) in a book I've seen (and may still have if I ever get unpacked) detailing the history of the modern B.O.B., with illustrations of some predecessor devices and mechanisms and some of their advertisements and descriptions. John |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bonzo3legs Date: 27 Feb 10 - 12:23 PM And how on earth did the USAians call a collection of individual home units along with the land upon which they sit - a condominium?? |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Amos Date: 27 Feb 10 - 01:52 PM Bonzo: The word "condominium" has no relation, except letters, to the word condom. It comes from the Latin prefic "con-" (jointly or together with) and "domus". home. In other words having a home with others, which describes the structure of one building with many homes in it we call a condo. A |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 27 Feb 10 - 02:24 PM ... has no relation ...? Doesn't use of a condom sort of imply "something together with?" It would seem a bit of overkill to use one when doing much of anything "alone," unless one has a very bad skin condition or a serious aversion to hand washing - or something ... . John |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Amos Date: 27 Feb 10 - 02:46 PM John: Your hypothesis, while apparently consistent, is not based on any etymological connection I can think of. As far as I know the etymology of the word "condom" is unknown... "condom 1706, traditionally named for a British physician during reign of Charles II, but there is no evidence for that. Also spelled condam, quondam, which suggests it may be from It. guantone, from guanto "a glove." A word not used openly in the U.S. and not advertised in mass media until November 1986 speech by Surgeon General C. Everett Koop on AIDS prevention." A |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: GUEST,999 Date: 27 Feb 10 - 02:59 PM History of the condom. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Bonzo3legs Date: 27 Feb 10 - 04:09 PM Ah - Romanes eunt domus!!! |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 27 Feb 10 - 04:13 PM Amos - Lots of perfectly useful words have scantily documentable etiologies, and of course shyness about discussion of this one may have additionally obscured its origins. Receptiveness to good guesses might, of course, be different for those accustomed to mostly solitary practices vs those with more regular shared activities.(?) ☺ John |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 27 Feb 10 - 04:35 PM Threaded condoms may be a good way of keeping them on...I will have to think that one out...is there a patent on that idea? |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 27 Feb 10 - 04:37 PM Rarther than threaded condoms, has velcro been ruled out...though they might stick to the pubies? Well, anyway, why not just buy the right size to keep 'em on? |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Michael Date: 28 Feb 10 - 01:22 PM Surely if you use a threaded condom you get a good screw. Mike |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Amos Date: 28 Feb 10 - 01:26 PM This strikes me as a very roundabout way of calling me a wanker, John!! LOL!! A |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: Ed T Date: 28 Feb 10 - 08:01 PM "Surely if you use a threaded condom you get a good screw" And, hopefully not cross threaded. |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: frogprince Date: 28 Feb 10 - 09:39 PM From 999's link: "the Japanese had leather and tortoiseshell sheaths". Man oh man, I want some tortois shell ones; those sound like they would be really great! Why would anyone, in any era or any culture, think of trying to have sex with their salami encased in tortois shell? |
Subject: RE: BS: A new CONDOM thread!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 28 Feb 10 - 11:35 PM frogprince (& 999) - "Collectors" books on esoteric articles imply that the most common Japanese (or more generally "Oriental") tortoise shell devices were not used as condoms, as the term is generally used, but were instead devices to exaggerate the size of the male equipment. Most such devices were/are open at both ends, thus providing no "separation of fluids" in use. A bit like stuffing a stocking or two in the codpiece ... ... ... Most of the antique catalogs don't mention similar items suitable for use as "condoms," although that might be just due to "forbidden subject" bias. Some of the popularly collected ones were quite elaborate, with precious metal and jewel inlays, so of course if you really need a little "decoration" (I won't say "enhancement") I suppose they might be a worthwhile investment (or perhaps a suitable craft object for home construction). John |