BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Scrump
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 09:56 AM

My advice is to do it a little every day until you build up the callouses. Then leave your partner naked in the corner of the room, so you can practice whenever you get the urge. It's just like riding a bicycle - well, more like pumping up a bike tyre, really - and you never forget what you learnt when you were younger. You might forget who you learnt it with, though...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:09 PM

...and remember:

When your memory goes, forget it !

Alao, when your member goes, remember it---like that Bobbit guy. (A stitch in time...)

And girls, remember, bob your hair, and not your guy!

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cruiser
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:16 PM

Elmer said:

"How do we know Gulliver is a HE?"

Come on Fudd. If you are a HE you know that all a SHE must do is lay there!

So what's to to learn or relearn for a SHE?

Therefore, I postulate that ole Gull is a HE.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST, a She
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:22 PM

You mean I've been doing it wrong all this time and no one told me?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cruiser
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:27 PM

GUEST, a She

You are a rare gem, my dear, rare...

Oh, why don't you give us your name because I am sure there are some CATS here that would like to make you aquaintance by shaking your hand!

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST, ...
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:50 PM

'what's to learn?'
See Bill D's post yesterday, 4.22 PM.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 06:23 PM

Remember to think of England?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Gulliver
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 10:17 PM

I guess the detective work of Elmer Fudd and Desert Dancer have paid off.

Congrats! (sounds of applause emanating from the cheaper seats)

I am, at the moment, male--however, this is subject to change at short notice...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 11:54 AM

It's like major league baseball. 35 years ago there was the reserve clause which said you could only play for one particular team. Now you're a free agent and you can play for whatever team will have you.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 03:43 PM

Sex is good for you

Reported by Forbes magazine, Updated at MSNBC: 1:03 p.m. CT Dec 19, 2006
[quote]

Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study was designed to compare people of similar age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards.
… … … …
In a 2001 follow-up to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.
… … … …
A study of 293 women in 2002 had the same implications. American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones. Pain relief: Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This, in turn, releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headaches to arthritis to even migraines. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.
… … … …
A study published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce, by a third, their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week.¹
… … … …
But is there such a thing as too much sex?

The answer, in purely physiological terms, is this: If you're female, probably not. If you're male? You betcha.

Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman's tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture.

As for men, urologist Eid says it's definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than what may actually be good for them.
… … … …
The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you'd just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.

"I see it in pro football players," says Eid. "They use Viagra because they're so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It's part of playing football: you play through the pain." This type of guy doesn't listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone, and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion."

[end quote]

So after 35 years, it may be too late for Gulliver, but those who haven't yet slipped into the bad habit of abstinence can possibly benefit – as long as one stays away from football players.(?)

¹ Personal note: After my first marriage of 20+ years I find I was about 5,460 orgasms short of recommended values on entering my second, ... ... ... ... but we're gaining. I can feel the surge of better health.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 06:25 PM

"men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards."

so...I'm gonna live to 107? wow! I KNEW that all that early practice was good for something...*grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:02 PM

Bill D -

They're only quoting rates. You can still be a statistic.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:11 PM

I always have a problem differentiating rates from individual experience. A death rate half that of... quote, does not imply that there will be fewer than one death per person?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:15 PM

Death Rate, as far as I know, is still 1:1.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 06:10 AM

Like Elmer Fudd, I too am having difficulty understanding the point of Lonesome EJ's story above Date: 21 Dec 06 - 03:58 PM.

It's like the last part of the joke is missing. Unless, of course, both Elmer and I are incredibly obtuse ...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 12:07 PM

I don't get the joke either, but it's still a pretty funny image.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cruiser
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 12:29 PM

I am not sure old Lonesome EJ understands his own joke, hence his name.

Now, I have been scolded for splainin' subtle, wry humor b4 so I ain't gonna tell youse obtuse folkies the meanin'

Juss cornsider ifin' the Barbie doll was given to the hick boy and the Ken doll was given to the hick girl instead of the way the soical worker did it: young girl hick got girl doll; young hick boy got boy doll..

I ain't asayin' no mo'...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 06:06 AM

Oooohhhh. I still don't get it.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: freda underhill
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 06:33 AM

me either