BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.

Subject: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:40 PM

Note that Liechtenstein has barely been mentioned in the news for months now. They are obviously up to something. While Bush sinks deeper into the morass in Iraq and contemplates doing even stupider things in Iran or Syria....Liechtenstein prepares to strike the unsuspecting USA a mortal blow!

I warned about this months ago, and no one listened.

Well, you're all going to get a big surprise, mark my words.

Hans-Adam II, the Mad Monarch, is getting ready to make his play. The world will be a very different place after he does.

You're going to all have to learn how to speak Liechtensteinian!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bee
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 04:57 PM

Any country whose name is longer than its circumference is bound to be up to no good. Thanks for the warning, LH.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:38 PM

Well, Europe might have the EU, but Lickten...Liken...that place has got a circumference!

And they're not afraid to use it!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:46 PM

No problem. Really. Any place whose name translates to
'LIGHT stone' is not a real threat. No matter how much they bluster.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:51 PM

But they've got weapons of mass destruction!

Pitchforks

Weed-Wackers

Pressure Cookers

Sausage Grinders

And things too fierce to mention...

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bee
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:59 PM

..."things to fierce to mention".... rabbits?

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:20 PM

Don't scoff - rabbits can be fearsome.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:24 PM

It's not just the evil forces within Liechtenstein that are the problem. It's the Canada-based Liechtensteinian terror network that we really need to worry about. In particular, we need to keep a close eye on two "brothers" from the town of Blind River. They may appear to be hopeless waste cases, but that's just a clever ruse to conceal their true identities. They are true masters of deceit, going so far as to get themselves arrested, convicted, and sentenced to community service just so they can go through piles of roadside trash in search of vital data to aid the Liechtensteinian invasion force. Do the Free World a favor, if you see a shaggy, unkempt, bleary-eyed hoser picking up trash on the roadside, run him over.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:37 PM

Oh, you're the clever one, aren't you? Really, no one is safe now.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Alba
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:44 PM

See now Bee-dubya-ell I was wondering what the correct term would be for Liechtenstein's Citizens... and you answered my question before I asked it..uncanny really.. * cue: twilight zone music *
Liechtensteinians

I am building a shelter in my back yard, starting tomorrow morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:51 PM

That Comet McNaught?

What country do you think launched it?

I'll give you a hint: it wasn't the Duchy of Grand Fenwick!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 06:55 PM

"it wasn't the Duchy of Grand Fenwick!"

Youre right there, Rap....them buggers are far to devious & subtle for something as blatant as a Comet...

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 08:31 PM

No, it was Sealand.....Anybody feel like buying a Country? It's up for sale, and has a National anthem fitted to Gilbert and Sullivan. What more could you want?

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 10:02 PM

I think satellites may be hacked! I hear "The Lichtensteiner Polka" running thru my head. It IS a plot!


I...I...feel this crazy need to dance!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 10:48 PM

The Liechtensteiner Polka is a devastating weapon, more powerful than Britney Spears. It rapidly turns your brain to mush, causes your blood to curdle, and destroys your ability to barbecue.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 11:56 PM

Uh vun, an' uh too, an' uh three... here... we... go!!!!



It's the polka for me! It's the polka for you!
The Liechtensteiner Polka!
I wake up in the morning, it's the first thing I do!
The Liechtensteiner Polka!
They do it in the East, they do it in the West!
Wherever you go, all the people attest,
Of all of the polkas, this polka's the best!
The Liechtensteiner Polka!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bert
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 12:52 AM

Liechtenstein? That's somewhere near Orillia isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: eddie1
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 01:11 AM

Thanks for the warning re Lichtenstein but there is another country which might be in league with them. While driving from Calais to Frankfurt I managed to drive through Luxembourg and you know, I can't remember anything about the place! Obviously they beamed some kind of ray at me to wipe out short-term memory and now, some twenty years later, it's still working. Heck, I can't even remember the last time I had sex!
One action we can all take against what is probably a coalition of the Lichtensteiners and the Luxemburgers is to buy a Swiss Army Knife. With one of them in your pocket you're ready for anything – except sex again.

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 01:16 AM

Excellent point, eddie 1. I always carry a Swiss Army Knife for that very reason.

Now, let's see...when was the last time I had sex? Hmmmm. Geez, it seems like...um...gosh...well, I...

Dang! I can't remember either!

The Liechtenstein/Luxembourg Axis is definitely taking a serious toll here. It may already be too late to stop them.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: David C. Carter
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 04:33 AM

They've got Wasps of Mass Dimension that can inflict a really nasty sting.
Their navy is to be feared...it only has to sail across Germany and it's straight into the North sea!

Tony Blair said that his private residence could be taken out within 45mins.Qustions were raised in the House as to why it should take so long!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: skipy
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 06:20 AM

Here are a few facts about Liechenstein that I found on the net, we may need them after the invasion:-
Greetings

It's customary to shake hands upon meeting. Always remove gloves first before extending your hand.
When addressing someone, use a title with a last name. First names are usually reserved for young people and the locals.
Gestures

It's inappropriate to talk with hands in your pocket.
Pointing at your head with the index finger is considered an insult.
When dining, it's impolite to leave food on your plate. Asking for seconds compliments the host.
Protocol

Punctuality is important.
Dress neatly and well. European fashions will probably make the best impression.
Be warm but direct. Never give information that can't be backed up factually.
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 09:55 AM

Rather than insult them, I'll point to my head with my middle finger. And I won't leave my hand in my pocket when I do it, either.

With these sort of simple gestures we can get along with them and they with us. We can have piece in our thyme, too, if they stay out of our gardens.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 10:48 AM

Liechtensteiner Polka
----------------------
Will Glahe & His Orchestra
Music and Lyrics by Edmond Koetscher and Rudi Lindt

Ja, das ist die Liech-ten-stei-ner Pol-ka mein Schatz!
Polka mein Schatz! Pol-ka mein Schatz!
Da, bleibt doch kein Liech-ten-stei-ner auf sei-nem Platz!
Auf sei-nem Platz mein Schatz!
Man kann beim Schie-ben, Schie-ben, Schie-ben
Sich in bei-de Au-gen sch'n.
Man muu sich lie-ben, lie-ben, lie-ben,
Und die lie-be, die est schon!
Oh ja, so ei-ne Liech-ten-stei-ner Pol-ka die hat's;
Die macht Rabatz, mein Schatz!

Der alte Herr von Liechtensteiner, Ja! Ja! Ja!
Der konn-te-nicht-al-lei-ne sein, Nein! Nein! Nein!
Er-schick-te sei-ne Boten aus, Ja! Ja! Ja!
Schaut mir nach Mu-si-kan-ten aus
Und schickt sic mir in's Haus!
Die Mu-sik-leg-te los,
Da wub-ten Klein und GroB:

Ja, das ist die Liech-ten-stei-ner Pol-ka mein Schatz!
Polka mein Schatz! Pol-ka mein Schatz!
Da, bleibt doch kein Liech-ten-stei-ner auf sei-nem Platz!
Auf sei-nem Platz mein Schatz!
Man kann beim Schie-ben, Schie-ben, Schie-ben
Sich in bei-de Au-gen sch'n.
Man muu sich lie-ben, lie-ben, lie-ben,
Und die lie-be, die est schon!
Oh ja, so ei-ne Liech-ten-stei-ner Pol-ka die hat's;
Die macht Rabatz, mein Schatz!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 11:40 AM

If you Google "Liechtenstein" you come up with 104,000,000 hits! That's about 104,000 hits for every resident.

Something is really cooking over there!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 11:50 AM

And let us not leave out Lithuania! If Lithuania were to ally with Lichtenstien and Luxenbourg, forming the "Triple-L-Alliance", look out! You can laugh if you like, but it wouldn't be long until little old ladies would be seen lurking in outlet malls looking for liederhosen to wear while walking their Lhasa Apsos on long leashes. Lord, please deliver us from such a lurid lifestyle!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: eddie1
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 12:15 PM

I'm terrified at the prospect of all these liederhosen - presumably song-singing trousers!
I'm so glad I have my Swiss Army Knife. (The magnifying glass is so useful for seeing little old ladies in the distance AND I can take stones out of horses hooves)

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 01:59 PM

Break it down... Liech ten stein. Sounds ominous to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 03:39 PM

Very ominous. I think that Bush has totally failed to appreciate the gravity of the triple-L threat.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 03:53 PM

He is just ignoring it, 'cause he can't even comtemplate saying "Liechtenstein nuclear proliferation".

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 03:59 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 04:14 PM

Rhode Island plans to annexe L'stein. And Monaco.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 05:01 PM

Then Rhode Island will be the first state to receive the full measure of Hans-Adam II's wrath. If you live there, my advice is MOVE. And do it soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 06:48 PM

Most people who work in Liectenstein commute there daily from places like Austria.

THAT alone should tell you Something Awful!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 06:58 PM

That's also true of the City of London, Washington DC.... I see your point.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 07:36 PM

Here is something truly scary!!! I looked up the national anthem of Liechtenstein, and although the words are in German, the tune is exactly the same tune as that of "God Save The Queen" and "My Country Tis of Thee" (or whatever the American version is called). Exactly the same!

You know what this means? It means that Liechtenstein has already secretly taken over both the UK and the USA at the highest levels! They are running the show. The day is not far off when all American and British subjects will be forced to sing those proud songs with the German words in place of the old English ones.

Hell, I bet Liechtenstein has taken Germany over by now too, eh?

Sheesh.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 08:50 PM

France tried to rejoin England, I hear.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 09:06 PM

It's about now somebody is bound to post the five year plan for converting English to German. In the US it's a 25 year plan, two decades to educate enough of the population that the rest of the world exists, and the same time on the words.

I hear a group not at all connected with the Lichtenstein Government was caught in West Africa trying to buy the raw ingredients for a truly terrifying weapon, a 300% cocoa chocolate. It will be distributed in target areas disguised in civilian wrappings, such as HEERshy bars, and is the start of a shock and awe campaign to introduce whole states to food that has not been deep fried, nor contains corn syrup. Casualties are expected to be high...

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 09:26 PM

Yumm! Deep fat fried corn syrup! Served with a side order of deep fat fried lard sticks!

Man, you're talkin' REAL food here!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Slag
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 10:16 PM

The Liechtensteinian/ Luxumbourgonian Axilaria and Mammalaria reeks as an armpit of instability and yet presents the milk of Human Kine Ness to bewilder it's wooden enemies.

Jack Bauer, where are you , now that we need you??? Thank God we have Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 10:35 PM

Rapaire, your lack of culinary refinement is astounding! Nobody eats deep-fried lard sticks anymore! All the finer eateries are serving their lard sticks lightly breaded and sautéd in yak butter!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 11:12 PM

Your command of dramatic language never fails to delight me, Slag! With men like you at the barricades, we may yet stop Liechtenstein.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Slag
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 01:43 AM

As Slag doffs his chapeau in a grand stage bow he hears the unmistakable rending of a seam in the seat of his emotions and blushingly departs the dais.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: eddie1
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 01:52 AM

These guys are obviously craftier than we think! They have to take over the civilised world in a subtle way - if they went for open aggression where would they put the prisoners of war?






Unless.................





They keep us in Austria and get us to commute daily?

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: GUEST,Stevie D
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 04:28 PM

Dont know if it helps, but i once went to Italy, they said we went though Luxembourg, and i do remember a motorway service station, they must have had memory erasing technology switched on low power, because i dont remember anything else, dont know if it helps, but it might just be a small brick in the wall that stops the small countries begginning with "L" coalition from invading us.

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: autolycus
Date: 16 Jan 07 - 05:26 PM

One of my grandfathers was from Lithuania ,(tho' his birthplace is now believed to be in Latvia - cunning or what?). So some Litvaks are aaallllreeaaaaadddy inside the UK - cunning or what).

   Aaaaaaaaaannnd I'm telling you all this - cunning or what?

   I'm lying low, watching Big Brother (for the handy hints) and listening to Smetana - cunning or what?
















    What was the question again?






    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Nessie
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 05:57 AM

Few will have spotted their stealth expansionist policy, craftily disguised as 'new technology'

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: Nessie
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 06:02 AM

Botheration, blueclicky didn't work: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/6215825.stm shows they've annexed 50 football pitches?!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 08:38 AM

According to the World News section in my latest copy of the Isle of Arran Shoemakers Monthly, the three L's have now aligned themselves with the Federation Against the Rutland Takeover (FART) movement and have established a secret terrorist training centre in the abandoned village of Lower Hambleton. The peace and tranquility of rural England is now being disturbed by gangs of foreigners practising their black arts with the use of cunningly converted Belgian waffle irons and treacle.

I fear it may be too late to stop this new menace!!

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: skipy
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 09:04 AM

I thick I saw some Belgian waffle irons and treacle at Erotica 2006.
Do you think they will invade us in gimp suits?
Skipy
(only 43 weeks & 1 day to go - 302 days!)

Subject: RE: BS: Liechtenstein's real plan.
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 17 Jan 07 - 11:40 AM

Skipy, dear boy, I think you should apply a cold compress to your forehead and lay in a quiet, darkened room for a millenia or two for I fear that you are having an attack of the "fets". If this is not attended to with the utmost urgency you could end up with a nasty case of knee trembling and have to have your fetlocks retuned.