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BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet)
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Subject: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 07:59 PM My suggestion? "Duckula" - Howard the Duck returns to battle the Undead. Filmed on location in Cleveland, New York, Italy, and Transylvania. This would be incredible. Beats me why they haven't done it already. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: The Walrus Date: 15 Feb 07 - 08:06 PM LH, There is (or was) a kiddie's cartoon on TV in the UK based on a 'Count Duckula', a vampire duck (accidentally 're-animated' with tomato ketchup and now a vegitarian*) Not quite Howard the Duck, but your idea for a film certainly sounds better than the HtD movie they did make. My suggestion? The Fabulous Furry Freakenstein Brothers - The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers (including Fat Freddie's Cat) given a 'make over' by Baron Frankenstein. Walrus *That's about my sum total knowledge of the subject. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: GUEST,Canadienne Date: 15 Feb 07 - 08:10 PM Count Duckula |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 08:20 PM LOL! (snort) Okay, not bad...but I think it would be more powerful with Howard the Duck and a human cast. Walrus, that Freankenstein Brothers idea is excellent. Well done. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: frogprince Date: 15 Feb 07 - 08:36 PM If I had a few thousand dollars to spare, and I was willing to sacrifice my marriage, family, and any respect I have from any of my friends, I could be a very wealthy man. Some one will probably see this, run with it, and I will hate myself for letting the idea see the light of day. The concept is a nice cheap horror-zombie-porno film. "Night of the F**king Dead". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 08:51 PM Wow. Heavy, man... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:02 PM It Came From The White House (I needn't say more.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:04 PM Boy, yeah. That'll drive 'em shrieking from the room... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:06 PM I Was a Teenage Crack* Ho. *Meth, Horse, or product of your choice Penn and Teller's Excellent Adventure Another horror/porn flick: Plan 69 from Outer Space ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:22 PM Ah..ha! ha! ha! ha! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:31 PM *Ovaltine? Bosco? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:41 PM SCENE ONE: Somewhere in Canada a mad scientist, Doctor Frankincense, has invented a replicator machine that's supposed to create exact duplicates of people. So far he's only had a chance to try it out on squirrels and a few stray dogs, but he's ready for his first human subject. SCENE TWO: Somewhere else in Canada there's a hopeless dweeb who gets his jollies creating entertaining characters and allowing them to post to Internet discussion forums as if they were real people. The dweeb is in the middle of creating an adventure for one of his characters when he hears a knock at the front door. He goes to answer the door and is met by Doctor Frankincense who incapacitates him with a stun gun and drags him to a waiting van. SCENE THREE: The scene opens in Doctor Frankincense's laboratory where the dweeb is hog-tied in Chamber One of the replicator machine with a metal skullcap attached to his head. The mad scientist explains that when he throws a switch, an exact duplicate of the dweeb will be created in Chamber Two of the replicator. The scientist throws the switch, waits a few moments, opens the door to Chamber Two and out steps a scraggly looking hoser who asks Doctor Frankincense, "What the flip? You got a beer, man? How about a Marlboro? Maybe a doobie or two?" The astonished mad scientist calls for his assistant, Mirr, who takes the hoser away for a bath while he, Frankincense, recalibrates the dials on the replicator for another attempt. He throws the switch again, waits a few moments, opens the door to Chamber Two and a chimpanzee wearing a fedora steps out and says, "Ook?" Frankincense has Mirr take the chimp away for a banana. This scenario is repeated a couple more times, producing a young female English aristocrat whose exalted opinion of herself makes it impossible for her to see that her life is a shambles, a lower-class English matron with a husband named Eddie and, finally, a balding, overweight, washed up, overly emotive actor who speaks in an exceedingly halting fashion. At this point Doctor Frankincense becomes totally frustrated, pulls the dweeb out of Chamber One, clamps the skullcap to his own head and instructs Mirr to throw the switch, whereupon the replicator shorts out and Doctor Frankincense disappears in a puff of smoke. SCENE FOUR: The dweeb and his entourage of replicants then convince Mirr to drive them all back to the Dweeb's house. Along the way, Mirr decides to pitch in his lot with the dweeb. After arriving at the dweeb's place the replicants begin arguing over who gets what bedroom, who has to do the cooking, etc. The dweeb quietly sneaks out the door and drives to the Toronto airport where he buys a one-way ticket to Havana. THE END |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:44 PM I don't think there's an airport in Havana, Illinois. Springfield's probably the closest one with commercial traffic. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: RangerSteve Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:51 PM Since all the Japanese monsters have battled each other, and all the European monsters have done the same, it's time the Japanese and European monsters got together. Godzilla vs. Dracula, Mothra Meets the Wolfman, how about one where Dr. Frankenstein goes to Japan and creates Frankenzilla? And one where someone gets bitten by Godzilla but survives (I don't know how, but logic is not important in Japanese monster flicks) and during the full moon becomes Were-zilla. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:53 PM Fan-fucking-TASTIC!!! Bee-dubya-ell, you are a genius. There is no more deadly weapon on Earth than advanced Dweebitis. I hope George Bush doesn't find out. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 15 Feb 07 - 10:05 PM The Debt That Devoured The Budget. It Came From McMurdo Sound. Orilla! The Coffee From 10,000 Starbucks! The Critter From Black's Saloon. (A Western/Horror flick.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 15 Feb 07 - 10:31 PM I've been hard at work casting my new movie which, by the way, is called "Revenge of the Broke-Dick Mamaluccas". So far I've decided on: The kid who played Napolean Dynamite as Steve Buscemi as Shane Herve Villechaize as William Shatner Sylvester Stallone as Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 10:49 PM If I grew a mustache and goatee and cut my hair short, I would like a lot like Steve Buscemi...only a bit older. I don't look anything like Napoleon Dynamite (thank God!). I'm gonna look around and see if I can find someone who looks like Shane, and post the photo. By the way, I would like to abscond to Havana with Penelope and leave the rest of them behind in Orillia. I know Penelope is high maintenance...but she could be fun too, and she's loaded. I would be willing to be a "kept man" for awhile. This would make a nice romantic end to the movie, and that always helps. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: GUEST,Peter Woodruff Date: 15 Feb 07 - 10:50 PM "The Truth About 911 and the Lies That Led Us Into War." Now there's a scarey movie! Peter |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 15 Feb 07 - 11:18 PM Hey, I posted a picture of Shane just a few days ago! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 11:34 PM Yeah, but we need one that shows his face properly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 11:46 PM Hmmm. Well, this guy bears a sort of vague resemblance to Shane...specially in the clothing. He's a bit older, a bit chunkier, and a bit more intelligent looking. His hair is a bit longer, and he's got more beard. sort of like Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 11:50 PM Here are some of Shane's buddies from Blind River, eh? Pals of Shane McBride |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Feb 07 - 11:52 PM What I mean is, Shane is younger than the guy in the first photo, eh? And he has a mustache but not really a beard, just stubble. And he's not quite as heavy built, eh? And his clothes are a bit dirtier looking. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Alba Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:13 AM Oh I wondered LH cause actually apart from the hairstyle the guy in that picture looks...eh how can I put this..like a nice fella. As for the pals, well they seem to have made an effort because of the Camera! Correct me if I am wrong on that one! See I always had pictured Shane looking more like this .????? Just goes to show you how misleading the internet can be.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Liz the Squeak Date: 16 Feb 07 - 05:18 AM I'm just waiting for Indiana Jones and the Banjoes of Doom... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: GUEST,JTT Date: 16 Feb 07 - 05:25 AM The Shining Example: a Salvation Army band cooped up in an evil snowed-in hotel over the winter. Songs too! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Dazbo Date: 16 Feb 07 - 07:56 AM Bush does Baghdad Paris Hilton: Texas Texas Accordion Massacre Behind the black door (No. 10) Roy Keane: The Movie The Blair Dossier Project |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 16 Feb 07 - 08:40 AM Son of Mighty George Bush |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:07 AM King Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Wesley S Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:07 AM I just heard on NPR a few minutes ago that "The Millie Vanilli Story" is being made. And it was written by the same screen writer who wrote the Tom Hanks movie "Catch Me If You Can". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:08 PM Alba - You're getting warm there. That guy does give a sort of impression similar to Shane, but Shane's hair is dirty blonde and it's not thinning at the front yet. When I say "dirty" blonde, I mean both ways. He shampoos about once a month, more or less, depending on the weather and the comments he gets from the women he tries to hook up with. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Donuel Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:23 PM I did a house of Dracula series in computer 3D featuring Condi and Cheney. It featured sacrificing a "cape"goat, raising the undead (Reagan & Nixon) and a moat than ran thick with American & Iraqi blood. Indeed I had forgotten I did this until I read this thread title. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:37 PM Another Mudcat marriage: Bride of Were-zilla's Wedding Planner-- Shot on location at the Banjoes of Doom Getaway Wedding music by Uncle DaveO (his one about the lady who's all artificial parts as revealed on the wedding night) ---------- Another one, Sorcha stars in The Hookman Fiddler on the Moon Roof. ---------- Another one, Sister Act of Sacrilege, with raised-Catholic Mudcatters in ALL the parts, directed by SUNSULL, and including fantasy horror scenes of course. --------- Another one, the Exor-what-is-folk-music-cist, starring BillD trying to remove the evil singer-songwriter demon from [name your favorite Mudcatter]. --------- Another one, Ghostf*ckers, where three brave women "lay" to rest, forever, the uneasy spirits plaguing a community. Set at Mudcat but of course I would never dream of naming stars or corresponding demons. OK that one is sick-- don't anybody take it personally. --------- I'll quit now. Too much caffeine! ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 16 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM The Return of Martin Gibson |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 16 Feb 07 - 01:18 PM The Invisible Budget Surplus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Wesley S Date: 16 Feb 07 - 01:23 PM The Surge |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Jack Campin Date: 16 Feb 07 - 02:45 PM Renaldo and Clara II |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Feb 07 - 11:37 PM The Day the Mudcat Stood Still Play Kumbaya for Me The Day All the BS Threads Turned into PS Threads. The Texas Lethal Injection Massacre The St. Valentine's Day Storm Massacre The Last Mudcat Gathering on the Right Friday the 13th Bodhran The Silence of the RamLambSheepHorns The Amazing Dr. Vibes (you get Jazz AND Vincent Price) More porn horror: I Know Who You Did ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Feb 07 - 11:40 PM From Hardi: Edward Guitarhands From me, going back to Vincent Price: Dr. Guitar ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Rapparee Date: 16 Feb 07 - 11:48 PM Banjola I Was A Teenage Accordionist Night of the Living Bodhrans |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Wordsmith Date: 17 Feb 07 - 12:09 AM An animated X-rated version of that southern classic: DeliverAnts! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Marion Date: 17 Feb 07 - 11:51 PM You know how baby monitors sometimes let you hear babies - or adults - in nearby houses? I think that would be a good premise for a horror movie - disturbing noises coming through the baby monitors, and trying to figure out what the source is. Marion |
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Subject: RE: BS: Israeli Hora movies yet unmade From: Severn Date: 18 Feb 07 - 09:53 AM Here's a few: "Jesus Zilla-Son Of God!"- He escapes from the Heal-A-Monster Mission somwhere South Of The Border and slips into California illegally to wreak havoc. He gets fired from his fruit picking job for plucking out the fruit trees by the roots and shaking the fruit off in one shake. Then he goes into L.A. and gets MAD....and EVEN! Sample dialog: "Say, who's that ugly hundred foot Mexican, anyway?" "I don't know, but he sure can pick some grapes, can't he?" "Too late, Chavez, He's seized her first!" "Now we'll have to re-vine, Chavez!"..... "The Attack Of The Pizza People"- Opens with a scene of a chef whirling dough over his head, but when it comes down, it devours him and proceeds to run amok through a mall...Starring Anne Chovi, Olive Pitts and Pepe Roney and a cameo from Mudcat's own SORCHA! The theme song, of course, will be Pasta Clone singing "I Call For Pizzas, Each Time I Hear Your Name...". The closing credits will have the A La Carter Family singing "There Will Be Pizza In The Valley For Me"... Meanwhile, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest..... "Who's that hundred-foot Chinaman, anyway?" "DAMN! It's THE GRAND COOLIE!" starring David Carradine, of course, with the inevitable Yao Ming cameo.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Feb 07 - 10:24 AM Severn, your GREAT "Attack of the Pizza People" should really be made. Animation? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Alec Date: 18 Feb 07 - 10:37 AM "Jesus Zilla-Son of God" Actually I do remember one of the Hollywood takes on the Gospels which contained, in its Gethsemane scene,the immortal line "Something's eating Jesus". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Riginslinger Date: 18 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM Just a start: SCENE I: The Scarecrow and George W. Bush skipping down the Yellow Brick Road frantically looking for a brain |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horrible moves they haven't made (yet) From: Severn Date: 18 Feb 07 - 11:10 AM Singing: "Coupla bricks short of a load Coupla bricks short of a load, Coupla, coupla, coupla, coupla Coupla bricks short of a load....." where they meet Tony Blair as The Cowardly Lyin'? William Powell will always be "Der T'in Man".... but "Asta, as Toto"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Little Hawk Date: 18 Feb 07 - 11:25 AM "VET CEMETARY" The poster for this movie: In the foreground we see an enraged, maniacal looking tomcat, wearing Freddy Kreuger style gloves on his front paws, blood dripping from their long gleaming steel claws. Behind him we see a burning veterinary facility. There are 2 or 3 dismembered male bodies in white coats lying on the floor. Surgical equipment is scattered around them. A large-breasted female veterinary assistant cowers screaming against the rear wall of the operating room, her torn lab coat barely covering her quivering, naked....(well, you get the idea, right?) In blazing horror-movie-style blood red letters we read these lines: FIRST THEY RIPPED HIS CLAWS OUT.... THEN THEY CUT HIS BALLS OFF... NOW HE'S GETTING EVEN!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Feb 07 - 11:32 AM [snortklunking sounds] ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 18 Feb 07 - 01:28 PM Night of the undead auto battery. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 19 Feb 07 - 06:57 AM Return of the Son of The Folk Singer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Riginslinger Date: 19 Feb 07 - 07:18 AM Severn--I like it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: Mr Red Date: 19 Feb 07 - 07:41 AM Divorce on Elm Street be afraid, be very afraid. I suppose the sequel would be "YOURS - and all of it" the sharks are circling.............. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: GUEST,ib48 Date: 19 Feb 07 - 10:47 AM MORRIS DANCER ON ELM STREET |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: mick p r.m s.c Date: 19 Feb 07 - 03:10 PM Revenge of the HURDY GURDY player. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Horror movies they haven't made (yet) From: the one Date: 19 Feb 07 - 06:25 PM bush blair 2 |
