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25 Mar 09 - 02:33 PM (#2597170) Subject: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: GUEST,stu2104 Hi, Does anyone have the lyrics to a Sid Kipper song called The illiterate alphabet or know where I can find them? |
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25 Mar 09 - 03:18 PM (#2597197) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: Gurney Don't know a song, but I did once hear a just post-war dialogue that went: A. 'Ay for 'orses! B. Beef or mutton! C. See for miles! D. Deef or blind.... something like that? |
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25 Mar 09 - 03:21 PM (#2597200) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: Gurney Forget it. It's on the Alphabet Song thread below. Currently below. |
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25 Mar 09 - 03:42 PM (#2597213) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: Joe Offer Oy. This gets confusing with two alphabet song threads going. So, the other thread has lyrics for another alphabet song. We're still in need of lyrics for the Sid Kipper "Illiterate's Alphabet" song. If you can find it, please post it here. -Joe- |
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26 Mar 09 - 04:18 AM (#2597562) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: GUEST,stu2104 Hi Again - yeah I know, I posted two requests 'cause I thought two "threads are better than one"!!! |
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26 Mar 09 - 05:56 AM (#2597604) Subject: Lyr Add: THE ILLITERATE'S ALPHABET (Sid Kipper) From: Little Robyn I found it. It's in his book Man of Convictions. THE ILLITERATE'S ALPHABET (Sid Kipper) A is for 'are', like 'are you sixteen?' Also for 'aural', if you see what I mean; C's for a 'cue', with which pool is played, And D is for 'duty', which we try to evade. Honour your teacher and see you do well, Then you'll be certain you know how to spell. E is for 'eye', it's open, you see, F is for 'F' - with asterisks, three; G's for the gnat that gnaws on a gnu, And H is for 'honest' - would I lie to you? I's not for Einstein, or eiderdown either, J is for 'Jasmine', no girl could be blither; K's for her 'knickers', but not those who take 'em, And L's for 'Llandudno', if I'm not mistaken. M's for 'Mnemonics' - with initials so neat, N's in 'conclusive', but not in 'complete'; O is for 'oestrogen', or so they do tell, And P's for 'phonetics' which help us to spell. Q is for 'quay', where boats tie along, But R's not for writing, unless you've writ wrong; S is for 'sea', which laps on the shore, And T's for 'Tsunami', which does rather more. U's for 'Uranus', it is, I insist, V's for a 'void', which we all try to miss; W's for 'why', but also for who, And X is for 'Xerox', and xylophone too. Y is for 'you', but, then, so is E, Z's not for Zar - that's C or it's T; You'll notice I missed out the one before C; Well, for present purposes, it's an absolute B! SID SAYS: "George writ this song recent, when he found out that loads of people in prison can't spell proper. Well, it's not easy. Just take two words - 'champagne', and 'shampoo'. See what I mean? Mind you, when I was a boy that weren't a problem because we didn't have either of them. Back then we had real pain and real poo!" It's from this page. Robyn |
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26 Mar 09 - 07:27 AM (#2597641) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: GUEST,stu2104 Brilliant! Thanks Robyn. |
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27 Mar 09 - 05:02 AM (#2598352) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: Dave Hanson It's not the one that Ian sings Stu, you'll have to ask him for the words. Dave H |
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27 Mar 09 - 08:50 AM (#2598476) Subject: Lyr Add: COCKNEY ALPHABET From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler Seeing the post-war alphabet above prompted me to remember (some of) what my father used to quote. 'A for 'orses Beef or mutton See for miles Deformation 'Eave a brick Efervescence Geef 'o police H? Ifor Novello J fer oranges K for restaraunt L for leather (one that actually works) Emphasis 'Nformation O for the wings of a dove P? Q for a bus R f'a mo' S? T for two Euphamy V for la France W for quits X for breakfast Y for girlfriend Z? If they don't make sense just say them quickly a few times. Anyone have different versions? |
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27 Mar 09 - 10:23 AM (#2598538) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: Michael S for Williams Z for breezes, Mike |
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27 Mar 09 - 11:07 AM (#2598569) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: Michael A for crown (Dollar) C for the Highlanders D for dumb U for me I am dragging up things heard at me Grannies knee, here. Mike |
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27 Mar 09 - 04:41 PM (#2598839) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: Little Robyn Bbcw and Michael, click on Gurney's blicky for that one. It's not the one stu2104 was looking for. It has it's own thread already. Robyn |
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30 Mar 09 - 03:24 AM (#2600228) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The illiterate alphabet by Sid Kipper From: GUEST,stu21april Not exactly the words I'm looking for but getting closer! Tried Mrs Ackroyd and Les Barker as a lead from Ian but no joy there as yet! Stu |
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26 Nov 10 - 10:15 AM (#3040834) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Mr Happy http://www.myspace.com/sidkipper/music/songs/The-Illiterate's-Alphabet-70763872 |
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26 Nov 10 - 10:52 AM (#3040860) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: breezy O for a pee P for relief |
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30 Nov 10 - 08:38 AM (#3043506) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Jim Dixon In the lyrics that Little Robyn posted above, I see that 'B' is missing. Also, the first verse has six lines but all the others have four. This leads me to suspect a couple of lines are missing. |
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30 Nov 10 - 10:10 AM (#3043544) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: GUEST,Grishka Jim, this leads me to suspect that you didn't read the lyrics to the end. Two lines will be the chorus. "Honour your teacher" is good irony: the less logic there is in it, the more authority it gives to the teacher. Very good, that Sid Kipper one. The topic is by no means new (must have come up some way between Chaucer and Shakespeare), but treated brilliantly! |
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01 Dec 10 - 12:48 AM (#3044033) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Little Robyn "You'll notice I missed out the one before C; Well, for present purposes, it's an absolute B!" If you don't believe me, talk to Sid Kipper. Robyn |
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01 Dec 10 - 01:57 PM (#3044291) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Jim Dixon Grishka: You're right; I didn't read to the end. But now, having read (and listened) to the end, I still don't understand: what does he mean by "an absolute B"? Also, listening to the recording (See Mr. Happy's link above) cleared up one more problem: I now see that what appears to be lines 5 and 6 of verse 1 is actually the chorus. (It's nice to have choruses marked as such.) I see that in the original, the chorus was indicated by an indentation, but the indentation apparently didn't survive Robyn's copy-and-paste. The recorded version also has a few differences: E is for 'eye', an optical disk, F is for 'F', with three asterisks. ... Z's for the birds, if you ask me. |
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02 Dec 10 - 04:27 AM (#3044709) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Little Robyn "an absolute B*****d" I don't use language like that! Robyn |
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02 Dec 10 - 05:11 PM (#3045204) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: GUEST,Grishka Or the female B***h. "For present purposes", however, I think the school mark "B" is punned at. Could an expert please confirm or deny? |
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07 Jun 17 - 06:45 PM (#3859491) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: GUEST Z for his hat |
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07 Jun 17 - 08:19 PM (#3859501) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: leeneia Belated thanks, Little Robyn. That's a clever song, but it's a lot more clever if one can read the lyrics, not just hear them. |
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08 Jun 17 - 05:29 AM (#3859556) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Mr Red however, I think the school mark "B" is punned at. Could an expert please confirm or deny? as a writer of humorous song (retired): IMNSHO all meanings count, and were probably accepted at the time of writing. Some will hear one meaning and laugh, some will see the other meaning and laugh and some will see both and nod as they laugh. FWIW Sid Kipper's manager (;-) is a Uni Graduate, Post Grad too. |
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08 Jun 17 - 03:30 PM (#3859674) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Joe_F And cf. the unmentionable |
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08 Jun 17 - 04:20 PM (#3859679) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Mo the caller Z for his hat Z's for the birds, if you ask me. Not sure I understand either of those. Since it's Sid Kipper I assume Zed not Zee, |
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08 Jun 17 - 04:51 PM (#3859686) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Mr Red 's 'ed for 'is zat With Sid Kipper the pronunciation is as important. |
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08 Jun 17 - 05:06 PM (#3859690) Subject: Lyr Add: COCKNEY ALPHABET From: Steve Gardham John Foreman's 60s Cockney version approximated to the following. 'ay for 'orses beef or mutton Seaforth Highlanders (a Scottish regiment) Deef or Blinnd (deaf or blind) 'eave a brick Effervescent Chief o' Police 'ate yer for it 'ighfalluting Jaffer oranges Care for a cuppa? 'ell for leather Emphasis 'en for eggs ofer my dead body Pee for a penny queue for the flicks (movies) 'arf a mo ( half a moment) Esfer Williams (actress?) Tea fer two Euphemism Vifa la France Double you for a quid (gambling) eggs fer breakfast Wife or girlfriend z'ead for 'is 'at (his head for his hat) |
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08 Jun 17 - 07:05 PM (#3859724) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: Herga Kitty Jim Causley included Sid Kipper's Alphabet in his set at Ringwood folk club on Tuesday, so I've just heard it this week for the first time in a while. Kitty |
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07 Nov 22 - 08:17 AM (#4157013) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: GUEST,Malcolm The version from theKippers that I’m looking for begins: A is for Pardon, what’s that you say? And I can’t remember the rest! I heard them perform it just once in about 1988 or ‘89. I would love to find that version if anyone has it? |
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09 Nov 22 - 12:06 PM (#4157183) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Illiterate's Alphabet (Sid Kipper) From: GeoffLawes The Alphabet Song, Jim Causley. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1HV0MnYyYE |