Lyr Req: Naughty Sailor's Alphabet (Dave Swarbrick

Subject: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: GUEST,Charley O'Neill
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 06:41 PM

Anyone heard 'The Naughty Sailor's Alphabet' on the Swarbrick myspace ? Pure juvenile filth ...and indeed quite amusing, with a touch of the oldDerek and Clive about it. Anyone heard it? What's it all about ? From where did it originate ? Surely not collected trad words? Rugby song perhaps, check it out...

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 08:14 PM

More info?

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Effsee
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 11:06 PM

Probably Oscar Brand!

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 20 Jan 09 - 11:41 PM

I was going to suggest Mehlberg's website, www.immortalia.com, but it seems to be down or gone.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Tangledwood
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 04:47 AM

The song is on a Saydisc CD called "Sea Songs & Shanties - Traditional English Sea Songs & Shanties from the last days of sail"

Album notes say:
" Although The Sailor's Alphabet seems the most widely reported version in England, we have found the A-Z idea used in many variations:Fisherman's and Lumberman's, and of course Army, Air Force and Rugby Club versions. On board ship it could have been used for both capstan and pumping work and, like the shanty, could be improvised with a test of ingenuity by solo sailors taking up the verses in turn."

The version on the CD is sung by a Cornish lifeboat-fisherman, Clifford Jenkins

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: bubblyrat
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 06:23 AM

Confessing to having the name first name Roger has often led,when in social situations involving Armed Forces personnel and alcohol,to spontaneous musical references to Feline Abuse !

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: kendall
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 07:58 AM

When I was a boy there was a "Whore's alphabet". Probably the same sort of crap.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Joe_F
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 09:10 PM

I had the idea independently, but never got to F. I can't think of a taboo word that starts with E.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 21 Jan 09 - 10:13 PM

E
Eve's Custom-House: Where Adam made his first entry.

Frances Grose, Dictionary of Buckish Slang, etc., 1785 and later printings.

Ensign Bearer: A drunk who looks red in the face.
Same source.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Joe_F
Date: 22 Jan 09 - 09:21 PM

Come to think, there is also "eat" in one of its senses. Very well, then:

A is for ********, a way out & in,
B is for *******, which some think a sin,
C is for ****, which has some uses too,
D is for **** us, which proper folks do.
E is for ***, which we'll do if you're sweet,
F is for ****, which is always a treat,
G is for *****, etc.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 02:39 AM

Charley, I can't find the Swarbrick myspace page you're referring to. Can you give us a link?
-Joe-

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Joe_F
Date: 23 Jan 09 - 09:24 PM

Or rather,

E is for *** me (you know I am sweet),
F is for ******* -- that's always a treat,
G is for ***, Whose name we take in vain,
H is for ****, which is also profane.

But now, I?

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 02:26 PM

Aah can remember hearin' this on my first 'Sod's Opers' in 1966 and bein' told it was haned doon from 'Sea-Dad' to 'sprog' for generations.

Aah've heard variations within the various Naval Services (Fleet Air Arm, General Service, Engineering) but aall disgustingly filthy.

" A is for a*sehole all covered in p*ss
B is the b*stard what give it a kiss......" Etc etc

Most sailor songs were filthy parodies and aah was mightily impressed to learn that the other services had THEIR filthy songs an' aall - It's just that sailors seemed to be the most base and corrupt! Too much time on their hands aah suppose

Aa've got the MP3 and the words to 'The Sailor's Naughty Alphabet' by Fairport if anybody wants them.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 02:51 PM

You're not old enough to hear this song, Joe! :0)

Naughty Dave Swarbrick's Myspace ;0)




(Myspace tip, just google the artist's name and then put 'myspace' after it and 9 times out of 10 you'll find it.)

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Joe_F
Date: 24 Jan 09 - 09:53 PM

Lizzie: What song? I don't see one there.
I am, however, charmed by the notion that at the age of 71 there are things I am not old enough for.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Jan 09 - 05:28 AM

Yup, it's there alrighty, Joe. Song number 5, on the list. Sometimes it takes a few minutes to load up, and you need to use the 'scroller' at the side of the songs to find Nos. 5 and 6.

Trust me though, you WILL be way tooooooooo young! :0)

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: GUEST,martin
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 02:41 PM

I've listened to the Naughty sailor's alphabet by Dave Swarbrick in myspace and I love it.Unfortunately I'm not a native English speaker and it's difficult for me to understand all the lyrics. I would appreciate if someone could post the whole lyrics.Thank you

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 02:57 PM

Georgie Porgie's one doesn't seem to match my memory (as a rugby player)
he had:
" A is for a*sehole all covered in p*ss
B is the b*stard what give it a kiss......" Etc etc

We had (almost to the tune of 'A frog he would a wooing go')
" A is for a*sehole all covered in hair,
heigh Ho said Rowley
B is the bugger who wished he was there.
With a rowley poley, up 'em & stuff 'em
heigh ho said Anthony Rowley

C is for **** all dripping with piss ...
D is the drunkard who gave it a kiss....
Etc.,"

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 03:43 PM

Why 'sailor's'? Surely this is just a general forces/rugby/schoolboy song. It does use the framework/tune of a variant of 'Frog's Courtship'.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: GUEST,zpc
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 04:15 PM

Too young?

...heh. Oops. There was a copy of Swarb's version (I suspect - Z is for Zollocks?) pinned on the noticeboard in a disused office we were clearing out. I was about sixteen at the time. (The company had done some work with him a while previous, I believe).

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Edthefolkie
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 06:44 PM

I have actually witnessed Swarb performing it! As I related somewhere else, I took a good Catholic girl, who I fancied like mad, with me to the gig. I Have Never Been So Embarrassed In My Life.

Mind you she later married somebody from Wolverhampton so that must have broadened her mind even further.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 15 Jan 10 - 05:03 AM

I learned it as "Roly poly, shit in the porridge, Fuck off ! said Anthony Rowley".

The final "verse" :

W is the whore who makes fucking a farce
Heigh ho, says Rowley
And X, Y and Z you can shove up your arse
Roly poly, shit in the porridge
Fuck off ! says Anthony Rowley.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Lighter
Date: 15 Jan 10 - 12:01 PM

Roughly when and where did you learn this song, Bryan?

Also: what was Swarbrick's source?

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Folkiedave
Date: 15 Jan 10 - 12:06 PM

Mind you she later married somebody from Wolverhampton so that must have broadened her mind even further.

*smiles*

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 15 Jan 10 - 01:48 PM

My version updated:

A is for *******, the way out and in.
B is for *******, which some think a sin.
C is for ****, which has its uses too.
D is for **** us, which decent folks do.
E is for *** us -- you know that we're sweet.
F is for **** us -- we're always in heat.
G is for ***, whose name we take in vain.
H is for ****, which is also profane.
I is for ***** -- each one has a nook.
J is for **** -- the sauce we all cook.
K is for **** ***, and **** *** as well,
And nothing taboo seems to start with an L.

Stalled short of half way.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 15 Jan 10 - 05:17 PM

M is for mainmast so stout and so strong
N's for necrophilia, no that's far too long!

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Snuffy
Date: 16 Jan 10 - 06:41 AM

Why 'sailor's'? . Because Swarb uses the chorus (adapted) and tune of "Sailor's Alphabet" not "Anthony Rowley".

I guess "J is for Joddrell" would seem to indicate a British origin sometime around 1960.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 10:50 AM

Lighter - my name is BRYN, not bryan.

I learned this version from my bezzie mate, Leigh, who apparently learned it in Sart Effrika.

If you PM me, I'll give you the rest of it, but (even for me) it's a bit rude to post in plenary.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 10:53 AM

Guest Joe F :

Oh, there is a 'taboo' starting with @L@, viz :

"K is the kiss that a virgin thinks nice
Heigh ho, says Rowley ;
And L is the Lecher who gets it up twice
Roly poly, shit in the porridge
Fuck off ! says Anthony Rowley.

Subject: RE: Naughty sailor's alphabet?
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Jan 10 - 08:25 PM

Bryn: Well, that would be cheating, in that "lecher" is not a taboo *word*. However, I myself made a similar stretch with "ingle", which is in the OED without a usage label.

Subject: Lyr Add: NAUGHTY SAILOR'S ALPHABET (Dave Swarbrick
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 07:46 PM

What a shame that nobody has yet bothered to try to transcribe this, after Martin, a non-native English speaker, made such a polite and reasonable request 4 weeks ago! It's not that easy even for me to understand, either, but at least I'm game enough to try. I would appreciate any suggestions for the missing or incorrect words:


NAUGHTY SAILOR'S ALPHABET
By Dave Swarbrick

A is for arsehole, all covered in hair.
B's for the blowjob after which we don't care.
C is for cunt that doth glisten and pong.
D's diarrhea; that's shit all gone wrong.

CHORUS: Merrily, merrily, so merry sail we.
No mortal on earth like a sailor at sea.
Heave away, haul away, the ship rolls along.
Give a sailor his gobble(?) and there's fuck-all goes wrong.

E is for eunuch with only one ball.
F is for fucker who's got none at all(?).
G is for the gobble which we've already had.
H is for the handful which can't be that bad.

I is for incest; that's fucking your mum.
J is for ...(?)
K is for knickers all torn off and stamped on.
L is for ...(?)

M is for morals; we hope you have none.
N's for the nasty that belongs to the nun.
O is for orifice; that's long for a hole.
P is for penis; that's prick to a frole(?).

Q is for question; that says "Do you fuck?"
R is the answer, like, "Hard fucking luck."
S is for shit, what a whole fucking lot!
T stands for trotters(?) and ...(?) and twats.

U is for uniform, pref'rably school.
V's for vagina; that's cunt only cool.
W's for wanking; that's caning our cocks.
X is the experiment of fucking your socks.

Y is for y-fronts all skid-marks and grimy.
Z is for zallocks; it's wrong but it's rhymy.
There's butter and cheese and they're all on the shelf.
If you want any more then go fuck yourself.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Naughty Sailor's Alphabet (Dave Swarbrick
From: Snuffy
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 07:12 PM

No guarantees, but here's what I make of the missing bits

J is for Joddrell: that's one off the arm [Joddrell Bank radio telescope came to fame tracking Sputnik and other early satellites. Used here as rhyming slang for "wank"]

L is for lockjaw all clamped on my hampton [Hampton Wick in west London is rhyming slang for "prick/dick"]

P is for penis; that's prick to a prole. [proletarian]

S is for shit, what a foul fucking lot! [I hear "foul" rather than "whole": could be mistaken]

T stands for twatters, and *** and twats. [*** is just silence I think]. The line may start "T's into twatters..."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Naughty Sailor's Alphabet (Dave Swarbrick
From: GUEST,tman
Date: 13 May 11 - 12:52 PM

I've heard this song on a studio tape that my friend got from his friend in the industry. It also had lots of other material from Monty Python and others. Sadly, the tape is gone now.