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21 Jun 12 - 02:02 PM (#3366316) Subject: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Big Al Whittle I am six foot three. Slim built with a prehensile cock and pert bottom. Women have always found me irresitibly sexy. My skills in the art of lovemaking are legendary and athletic. |
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21 Jun 12 - 02:06 PM (#3366319) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,999 Well, tell it to stop eating the peanuts at the bar. |
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21 Jun 12 - 02:10 PM (#3366321) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,saulgoldie Wow! My thread has an "evil twin!" I am honored! Saul |
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21 Jun 12 - 02:21 PM (#3366323) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: John MacKenzie I did not have sexual intercourse with that woman! |
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21 Jun 12 - 02:53 PM (#3366338) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Richard Bridge But did you have peanuts? |
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21 Jun 12 - 03:10 PM (#3366344) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,Crusty Bellend take yer pick: a) I swear I had a vasectomy.. b) Honest, that's never happened before.. c) Of course it's normal, everyone does it all the time.. d) Infection ? no don't be silly, it's meant to be that colour and smell like that.. e) Wow, that was amazing.. |
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21 Jun 12 - 04:51 PM (#3366370) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River I have, like, had sex with over 800 girls and women, eh? At least that many. And that was in the last year too. Not only that. Most of them have swore off havin' sex with other men cos it was so great with me that there ain't no one else they want now. No word of a lie! - Shane |
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21 Jun 12 - 05:25 PM (#3366385) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Rapparee I didn't know there were prehensile chickens. |
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21 Jun 12 - 06:11 PM (#3366402) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Bee-dubya-ell I think Shane omitted a key word in his post above. He meant to say, "I have, like, had sex with pictures of over 800 girls and women, eh?" |
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21 Jun 12 - 09:30 PM (#3366455) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: gnu I have had some prehensile tail that I got a really good hold on. One in particular, her name was Cindy... strawbarry blonde lass... she used to... ahhhh, sorrrry. I get carried away with my memories sometimes. If I offend, well, there it is. I know other lads will understand. Lassies too, perhaps. |
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21 Jun 12 - 09:33 PM (#3366458) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Rapparee Lassies...you were "intimate" with collies??? |
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21 Jun 12 - 09:37 PM (#3366460) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: gnu Wanna buy a puppy? |
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21 Jun 12 - 09:45 PM (#3366462) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Ed T The ushabtis prehensile cock. " I am your man servant. I am here and will come wherever you bid me. I will do it, verily. I am here when thou callest". |
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21 Jun 12 - 09:53 PM (#3366464) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Bobert Hey, anyone can do a "menage a trois" (3)... Back 'round '74 I pulled off a "menage a neuf" (9) and the 8 ladies seemed to have all gotten what they came (oops) for... No brag, just fact.... Okay, it took all night to get 'um done but... Oh, to be that age again... Please, God... B;~) |
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21 Jun 12 - 09:57 PM (#3366466) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: frogprince When I lived in Chicago, I was a member of a big camera club. They rented a suite in a downtown office building. One evening I went in the john just across the main hallway. 1st graffitti line: "I'm 21, and have 19 inches; phone...." 2nd graffitti line: "I'm 19, and have 21 inches; phone...." 3rd line: "Fort Dearborn Chicago Camera club needs two tripods; apply in suite #...." |
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21 Jun 12 - 10:03 PM (#3366469) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,Bill D It does say "dishonest talk', doesn't it?...hmmmmmmm |
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21 Jun 12 - 10:43 PM (#3366479) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Jack the Sailor Back to the old joke dept. Its eating my popcorn!! |
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21 Jun 12 - 11:07 PM (#3366491) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Rapparee I'd tell you about the time I was trapped in a women's dormitory for a week during a blizzard, back during my college days, but this is about dishonest talk. 227 young women...and me. I will say that it was satisfying for all concerned, including the house mother. |
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21 Jun 12 - 11:12 PM (#3366494) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Jack the Sailor I know where you got that story Rap. It was a Jerry Lewis movie. |
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21 Jun 12 - 11:40 PM (#3366499) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Ebbie "Wanna buy a puppy?" hahhahhaha |
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22 Jun 12 - 09:35 AM (#3366622) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,saulgoldie You know how they say that oysters are good for the libido? Well, I can attest that it is false. I tested it. I ate a dozen one night, but only 9 of them worked. QED. Saul |
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22 Jun 12 - 09:37 AM (#3366625) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Rapparee Ah, me. WHO DO YOU THINK JERRY LEWIS GOT THE STORY FROM???? |
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22 Jun 12 - 10:26 AM (#3366637) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Big Al Whittle I was borm blessed with five willies. My underpants fit like a glove. |
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22 Jun 12 - 11:25 AM (#3366665) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: frogprince But Al, when you step up to a urinal, how do you even know where to begin? |
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22 Jun 12 - 12:14 PM (#3366696) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Bobert 'Bout 30 years ago I was livin' out in Hanover County, Virginia on a nice farm... We had just about every kinda farm animal you can imagine except a rooster... I knew this ol' boy who raised 'um and went to see him about getting one of his... He pointed one out and said, "That one there is kinda frisky but I reckon he be okay fir ya'..." Sos I bought the thing, brought him home, let him out of the cage and then went into town... Well, when I went to town Frisky went to town on everything with a pulse and screwed up all to death... Sho nuff did... Even screwed my milk cow to death, something that my Cousin Rufus was never able to accomplish... So I pull into the farm and see all my animals lying all over the the place dead with their feet up in the air and in the middle of them was Frisky layin' there, too, not movin' at all... I walked out to him, looked down at him and said, "You dumb chicken... You done screwed yourself to death..." Frisky opened one eye ever so slight and motioned upwards ever so slight with one toe and whispered, "Shessshh.... Buzards..." And that, my friends, is a true story... B;~) |
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22 Jun 12 - 12:23 PM (#3366698) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Jack the Sailor Dear Mudcat Forum. I never believed these letter until it actually happened to me. I was working at a Spanish fly factory in a small Midwestern town when a busload of student nurses broke down on its way back from a tour of the Catspaw Erotica and Phallic Art Museum. I was not confident that I would have the stamina. But here's where years of "no hands" push-ups while "reading the articles" in girly magazines would finally pay off.... |
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22 Jun 12 - 12:53 PM (#3366716) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: John MacKenzie If'n all them Mudcat womenz was laid end to end. I wouldn't be at all surprised. |
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22 Jun 12 - 02:26 PM (#3366752) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,Eliza "Honestly,I only had one lover before you, and he only lasted ten seconds..." |
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22 Jun 12 - 03:07 PM (#3366766) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: MarkS Dishonest eh? "Of course I will respect you in the morning." |
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22 Jun 12 - 03:15 PM (#3366772) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Ed T Honestly, officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence. |
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22 Jun 12 - 03:30 PM (#3366779) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: John MacKenzie Truly darling, I was only unfaithful to you twice. Once with your father, and once with the Inniskillen Dragoons! |
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22 Jun 12 - 11:57 PM (#3366935) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp I never touched that human dame. - Chongo |
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23 Jun 12 - 02:20 PM (#3367120) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,Eliza "I can't understand it...This has never happened before...!" |
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23 Jun 12 - 02:23 PM (#3367122) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Jack the Sailor Extra large condoms please. |
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23 Jun 12 - 03:21 PM (#3367149) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: John MacKenzie I don't think they're meant to go on your head Jack! (Sorry, couldn't resisit that) |
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23 Jun 12 - 04:09 PM (#3367167) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Jack the Sailor No thats what gloves are for. |
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23 Jun 12 - 05:38 PM (#3367185) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: The Sandman I am a virgin,I am Billericay Dickie and I have a bleeding thickie. |
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23 Jun 12 - 06:30 PM (#3367199) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: wysiwyg "Of course we cannot fake THAT!" ~S~ |
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23 Jun 12 - 10:42 PM (#3367263) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Ebbie A "thickie"?? Wha dat? |
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24 Jun 12 - 07:38 AM (#3367345) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Big Al Whittle I needed some new stage gear, My wife said , Go to Chums for the pants, and Cotton Traders for the shirt....they've got your sizes! And I said, Well actually dear, I want to make statement this time. A bold statement. I saw Nerys Hughes in The Liverbirds on telly this morning - and its a look that I feel I could carry off - just like Nerys - chaste, but full of fun. A suede mini skirt - I wouldn't bother with tights....just spray tan - a glimpse of dazzling white panties, maybe a seethru gusset....just a nice girl, who happens to turn everyone on! My wife said. Al...you know your gigs, its no use turning up looking just like the audience..... |
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24 Jun 12 - 10:22 AM (#3367377) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: John MacKenzie He lives in his own wee world you know. |
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24 Jun 12 - 01:36 PM (#3367463) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Jack the Sailor Big Al wins! Now how do I get these pictures out of my brain!!!!?????!!!! |
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25 Jun 12 - 11:49 AM (#3367774) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Big Al Whittle Its a song by English singer the late Ian Dury - Billericay Dickie - interesting enough from his album - New Boots and Panties. |
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25 Jun 12 - 03:24 PM (#3367856) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,saulgoldie There is a song about Bobert's story about the rooster. "...ever since that rooster came into our yard..." etc. It's in RUS. Saul |
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25 Jun 12 - 03:29 PM (#3367860) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: GUEST,saulgoldie Here it is...in our own back yard. Rooster Song Saul |
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25 Jun 12 - 03:29 PM (#3367861) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Little Hawk Jake Thackray wrote a humorous song about such a rooster. It was called "The Bantam Cock". |
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25 Jun 12 - 03:41 PM (#3367867) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: John MacKenzie Like Murphy and the Bricks, a joke made into a song. |
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25 Jun 12 - 06:18 PM (#3367957) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Dave the Gnome Having what may be termed a beer belly peoeel often say to me "If that stomach was on a woman you would say she was pregnant!" To which I reply, "It was, and she is." :D tG |
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25 Jun 12 - 08:09 PM (#3367998) Subject: RE: BS: Dishonest talk about sex From: Bugsy "I don't need clever chat up lines to get women into bed, I just sit at the bar and lick my eyebrows" Cheers Bugsy |