Funniest Acronyms of all time

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Nov 09 - 01:27 PM

I just remembered one!

After my cataract surgeries, a secondary membrane grew back, and I had to have it removed with a special device called a YAG laser. YAG stands for "yttrium aluminium garnet".

It always felt a bit awkward....until I realized they were not about to call it a GAY laser.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 02 Nov 09 - 03:44 PM

Not v original, but fits the thread title — I have always liked the message sent by man on way back from long day at work — 'Norwich' [Knickers Off Ready When I Come Home] -- which should perhaps take on new lease of life as being so very textable.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 02 Nov 09 - 05:30 PM

For a short time I was chairman of the Ferranti Users Consultancy Committe.

And now my local authority is Cheshire West and Chester.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Nov 09 - 05:55 PM

"Knickers" itself is a term that differentiates the US from the UK. Here we 'almost' always use more descriptive words which describe the garment: i.e., small pants.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Nov 09 - 06:58 PM

We go away for a weekend every year as the Swinton Hardy Intrepid Tecking Society. It is a weekend of music, drink and hiking but the activities are usualy Weekend Activities Not Known In Normal Groups

:D (eG)

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Nov 09 - 08:53 PM

Snuffy - I was going to be all Po Faced and say what it is , till I reread the post ! Good One mate !!

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Little Robyn
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 01:30 AM

The definition of CHAOS: Can't Have Anyone Over Staying.
That describes our place!
Sent by Robyn's daughter Katrina.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 06:29 AM

We genuinely had an Adjacent Range Sensitvity Equaliser
but called it a Range Sensivity Equalizer.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: GUEST,Seaking
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 07:15 AM

We have a large number of offshore, normally unmanned, gas producion platforms which can only be accessed by helicopter for breakdown, critical maintenance etc. When the original react crew was set up it was named the Fast Acting Response Team. They were commonly known as the 'FART Squad' for years until PC won over and it became the Field Support Group.

Chris

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Joe_F
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 08:48 PM

According to _Slang and Euphemism_, the longest acronym in the English language is IMBARS BIDBIB, which means "I may be a rotten sod, but I don't believe in bullshit". ("British, early 1900s.")

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 07:05 AM

Annoying
Concept (of)
Recycling
Old
Names (with)
Your
Meanings

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 02:02 PM

Leaking Underground storage Tanks

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: meself
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 02:31 PM

Back in '000, Little Hawk pondered the meaning of "Lowe Tech." on a tee-shirt. Lowe Tech. is - or at least, was - a high school in Windsor, Ontario (it's still there, but I don't think it is still a "technical" school, so it is probably just "Lowe Secondary School" or something prosaic like that today).

It was presumably named after a Windsorite who was a popular, colourful, and, for a time, successful bootlegger. Ended up doing time, and lost all his ill-gotten gains; died in poverty.

Btw, is Lowe a Scottish name? Many if not most of the schools in Windsor are named after Scots.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 03:26 PM

This morning, I got to lift spirits of 3 former colleagues (from team I used to work for). Work and life in general getting everybody down. I think it is full moon.

Anyway, about 3 emails in for each one, i decided I need to start a business

Your Other Mother Associates (YOMA – Yo, Ma!). Staffed by women of a certain age, bearing warm cookies and good advice and a cuddle to all in need.

One colleague came back with request to work for me, but was afraid she would only get the bad cases, because she didn't feel like being nice to people.

I made her head of the KUTA (Kick Up the Ass) department.

I think we can really make a go of this.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Bainbo
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 03:37 PM

There really was - maybe still is - a Tyne and Wear Arson Taskforce. Don't recall them ever using an acronym.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: gnu
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 05:08 PM

Why? Are they a "bunch"?

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Paul Burke
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 06:33 PM

Funny Assumptions In The Head

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 06:41 PM

Just a few hatched up by a bunch of school caretakers:-

ARSE - Attention Restricted to Something Easy
BUGGER - Behaviourally Unstable Geographic Grouping – Extermination Recommended
TOSSER - Thick Or Stupid – Simple Education Required
SHITE - Sadly He Isn't Terribly Enthusiastic
TWERP - Terminally Worthless Educationally Restricted Pupil
SCUMBAG - Simply Can't Understand – Mostly Bleats And Grumbles
LOSER - Lack Of Sense Exerts Restrictions
SHITBAG - Seriously Hyper-Inactive, Terminally Below Activity Grade
WANKER - Wandering Attention, Never Knowing Educational Requirements
PRICK - Permanent Restriction In Core Knowledge

Also the two cleaning products which no advertising agency wanted to promote:-

1. Finest Universal Cleanser Known...."If Persil won't whiten it F... It!"

2. Best Universal Grit Grime and Effluent Remover.

Don T.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 07:52 PM

acronyms for other species.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 10:40 PM

This one is true ... since a guest cannot post http content "below the line" you may verify it with:

AB1176_Ammiano_Veto_Message.

No Snopes needed.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger - California USA
October 28, 2009

At a San Francisco dinner - while the "govenator" was speaking a local assembly politician shouted out, "You Lie! - Kiss My Faggot Ass!" (A faggot in Frisco is a "badge of honor"- unlike England where they are only intended for emolition - or Scotland where, (from recent Mudcat posts) they tend to kee bonnie boy bums beneath their kilts.) The "faggot" sound bytes are on record...it is not "gay" as reported by some of the press.

When the local's pol's bill "for increased dock-funding" was vetoed it came came back with this note from Schjwarzenegger's office. (The Germanic people - have a delightful barley sense of humor - much more direct than the dry-rye witted Brits)

Take the First Letter of each line.

I am returning "California" Assembly Bill 1176 without my signature.

For some time now I have lamented the fact that major issues are overlooked shile many
unnecessary bills come to me for consideration. Water refore, prison reform, and health
care are major issues my Administration has brounght to the table, but the Legislature just
kicks the can down the alley.

Yet another legislative year has come and gone without the major reforms Californians
overwhelmingly deserve. In light of this, and after careful consideration, I believe it is
unnecessary to sign this measure at this time.

Sincerely,
Arnold Schwarzenegger

SINCERELY,
Gargoyle

TCP Connection Connection: 71.425.19.144: http from 78.174.153.71: 1964, 1095 bytes sent, 1253 bytes received, 2:72.004 elapsed time

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: HuwG
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 02:43 AM

In the British armed forces, the NAAFI is the "Navy, Army and Air Force Institute"; they run cafes, tea vans etc. It also sometimes appeared on the annual appraisal forms of unwilling soldiers, where it stood for "No Ambition, and f*** all Interest".

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Mr Happy
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 06:31 AM

Many years ago, when I was starting out to become computer literate, I joined an initial beginners course at a local college.

The course's name: 'Computer Literacy and Information Technology'

I guess they had to insert the word 'and' to make the acronym 'CLAIT' more acceptable?

Also, way back in the 70's, there was a British trade union, the Electrical, Electronic, Telecommunications and Plumbing Union, known as EETPU! - ugh!!

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 07:30 AM

First Aid Nursing Yeomanry

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 12:46 PM

when i first started working for the state, i wrote the following last verse to be rapped/sung to Coolio's Gansta Paradise


whatever happened to the good old words
now zapped by language impaired nerds
seems "hooked on phonics" didn't work for them
another day, another acronym
*****
god send us noah webster's son
the english speaker's salvation
to this paperwork land, where we chant the hymn
another day another acronym
*****
looking at these forms i don't have a clue
just what is what or who is who
am i just another working "anachronym?"
another day, another acronym
*****
these nonsyllabic words i just don't get
when did they downsize the alphabet?
you know our bureaucratic future's pretty grim
another day another acronym
*****
now it seems we're spending most our lives
in a scrabble cheater's paradise
so if your letter tray's full up to the brim
you can make another acronym
*****
it's time to make another acronym
*****
go on and make another acronym

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Joe_F
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 06:32 PM

In the days when railroads were important, every railroad acronym had its dysphemic reading -- e.g., DL&W for Delaware, Lackawanna & Western became Delay, Linger & Wait. Carl Sandburg has a catalog of them in one of his poems.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 02:07 PM

And two of the major computer manufactureres when I got into IT were

ICL - It Can't Last (whatever happened to....) and

IBM - It's Being Mended

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 06:11 PM

""ICL - It Can't Last (whatever happened to....)""

It Didn't!

Don T.

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 07:27 PM

Yeah, but was it ever mended?

Subject: RE: Funniest Acronyms of all time
From: Genie
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 09:36 AM

I believe G W Bush's endeaver to topple the Saddam Hussein regime was initially (double entendre noted) dubbed "Operation Iraqi Liberation" but was very quickly changed to "Operation Iraqi Freedom" when his administration noticed the unintended, albeit true, implication of the initial name.