This song was posted in response to a song challenge made by McGrath of Harlow on this thread.  Below is the newstory that prompted McGrath's challenge:

Mounties Punish Fragrant Offences (June 4, 2000) --  The Canadian province of Nova Scotia has outlawed perfume in public places after claims that it contains toxic chemicals .  The ban, observed in government buildings, schools and a growing number of private workplaces includes all fragrances, including those in hairspray and gel, mouthwash and deodorants. Some employees have been sent home to shower for being too sweetly scented.   The ban signals a victory for anti-perfume activists who lobbied outside the City Hall of the province's capital, Halifax, wearing gas masks. Their complaint is that fragrance is composed of undisclosed chemicals, some of which cause MCS - multiple chemi cal sensitivity. Critics say MCS is a spurious condition.  In Halifax not everyone has come to terms with the anti-perfume rule. An 84-year-old woman was escorted from a council meeting at City Hall for having a dab of perfume behind her ears.  Sheet Harbour High School was the scene of another scent showdown when a 17-year-old pupil refused to trade in his hair gel and deodorant for unscented alternatives. It almost got him a criminal record. His teacher, highly sensitive to fragrance, blamed the scent for triggering a vomiting attack. She called the incident an 'assault' and was backed by the school. The teen was handed over to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police but released without charge. 

I'd Rather Smell by SINSULL

Sinsull's Comments:  With apologies to my Canadian neighbors:

A Mountie rode alone Toronto's Metro
Sweaty red wool stench worn like a shroud
It suffused the crowded train
And yet this was the refrain
From his fellow riders caught within the cloud

(Refrain)
I'd rather smell myself than G. Armani
Halitosis is preferred to Listerine
My good Canadian sweat
Is less pungent than my breath
But I'd rather smell myself than G. Armani

The Blue Jays played a game at Yankee Stadium
The NY team smelled fresh and sweet and clean
But Toronto's locker room
Reeked of various bodily fumes
To the fans up in the bleachers they did scream

I'd rather smell myself than G. Armani
Halitosis is preferred to Listerine
My good Canadian sweat
Is less pungent than my breath
But I'd rather smell myself than G. Armani

The provinces up north have banned all perfume
Poisoned scents or lotions are a crime
Public toilets smell of shit
Better that than cans of flit
For the population's safe from toxic climes.

And they'd rather smell themselves than G. Armani
Halitosis is preferred to Listerine
My good Canadian sweat
Is less pungent than my breath
But I'd rather smell myself than G. Armani